e-mail me

DOCTOR WHO INDEX



 THE SIXTH DOCTOR
The Twin Dilemma, Attack of the Cybermen, Vengeance on Varos, Mark of the Rani, The Two Doctors, Timelash, Revelation of the Daleks,


THE TWIN DILEMMA
Well it is now nearly 15 years since Colin Baker was cast as the Doctor and unfortunately it is with his era that the series went from being a popular series the Beeb would nae dare suggest cancelling to a show teetering on the brink. I think Colin Baker was a good casting choice but even though I sympathise with him, I think he is the unfortunate who happened to be in the role when John Nathan Turner had become 'Whoed Out,' as he described it. Certain decisions as to the new Doctor's character and costume aren't so much the brave moves they were intended to be but nails in the series coffin giving the SF-hating head of BBC Drama, Jonathan Powell- the man who killed more SF series than Fred Freiberger- the ammunition he needed to finally get rid of the embarrassing (to him and other pretentious BBC unintelligensia) show. The money was needed for more prestige drama like El Dorado and Rhodes of Africa. The BBC is not about making money. Just wasting it.
 Now the costume might have alienated many before he started but making the Doctor unpleasant permanently rather than just in his post-regenerative state just put too many people's back's out. Take away the puns, costume and some character traits and you would have had a winner.
 But even if that where not enough the Twin Dilemma just seems out of place in such a season of quality. Easily the worst show of the year, The Twin Dilemma suffers from everything. The set design, costumes, script, lighting, direction- everything is straight out of the seventies- season 17 to be precise. I can't name a single element in this story that rises above the tedious or mundane. Even the seasoned actors prove that just means they're covered in pepper and should be cooked like a turkey. And I didn't know the script was typed up be a secretary from a dictaphone tape of the great Terrance Dicks but listening to the wediculous twins of the title and you can't but help wet yourself.
 We  should have prayed for a strike.

ATTACK OF THE CYBERMEN
Supposedly written by Paula Moore, a friend of Eric Saward, this story  has his stamp all over it and if it isn't released soon on video, we know he's put the kybosh on it just as he has with Revelation of the Daleks.
This was a story that had so much going for it, perhaps too much. The story never really achieves momentum with a long build up to what seems like the end of  (25 minute) episode two and a climax that isn't necessary. There are too many characters to keep serviced (as in Saward's Ressurection of the Daleks last season) and many, such as Stratton and Bates serve no role whatsoever. The Cryons are a big dissapointment in the writing and their execution with costumes that clash with the masks. Lytton's about turn makes sense considering he's a mercenary, not always evil, just in it for the money. He was stranded on Earth after the Dalek's defeat, he sent out distress calls But the Doctor, who hasn't met or spoken before with Lytton (He was pointed out to the Doctor on a screen) should know him by reputation rather than the man himself, something the writing gets wrong. Another thing. If the Cybermen have only a rough knowledge of Time Travel, how can everyone in this story, bar Peri and Griffiths are the only people on Telos in the year 1985 not to now about what happens to Mondas and Earth in 1986? Surely ignorance of the future should be the norm with only the Doctor, Lytton (He's from the future, remember) and Cybermen in the know? It is possible that Bates and Stratton learnt of the Cybermen's plan during their condition and that the Cryons found out from Lytton but it's a little too convenient when every character knows everything viewers do. Eric Saward claimed Bates and Stratton were there to add action in episode two, particularly while the Doctor is licked up but having the Cybermen know every move of theirs before hand ruins the drama.
The Direction is a cut above, though sometimes a little slow when the Cybermen or Cryons are involved. Robinson's handling of the filmed scenes, particularly the exteriors of Telos, is flawless. The TARDIS scenes and those set underground are also well handled. But most of the Telos interior scenes are dissappointing with Cyber control being made up mostly from stock controls panels (I watched it recently the same weekend I watched some Blake 7 episodes and spotted the same control panels).
The special effects are very good, despite some confusion over where the blue effect appears when a cybergun fires. The realisation of Halley's comet is bland and the Cryon deaths could have used some tasteful snipping to tighten things up. Designs of Telos are fine despite the fact that the Cybermen are now so advanced they require individual walk-in wardrobes instead of the tombs of old.
The Cyber-Controller, or more accurately, the Fat Controller, is a disappointment physically (and not just the Desert Dueller around his waist), by the chestpiece looks like a little girl in mummy's shoes and the tumour on top is even sillier than the 60's version. The other Cybermen here are the big losers as their menace has completely dissapeared. No one managed to destroy a Cyberman in Revenge of the Cybermen in the first two episodes and no one with a normal gun could. In Earthshock, it took about four people firing concentrating their fire to damage one yet every second scene is of a Cyber-lieutenant reporting that a Cyberman has been destroyed. Griffiths killed one with three shots to the head, the Doctor stabbed one with a small lance, but while Bates and Stratton knocked a couple Cyberheads of their perches, they at least had Cyber strength. But while the second half of part one is full of wimpy Cybermen part two has them crushing Lytton's hands and shooting Griffiths and Stratton as well as killing two Cryons.
The Cybermen in control are portrayed by shorter actors than usual, perhaps to make the Cyber-Controller seem larger but all this does is accentuate the loose fitting suits and a Thunderbirds-style head to body ratio.
Having a Cyberleader and the Controller is superflous as the David Banks, one of the few actors not to wobble his head in an exaggerated fashion (enough with the Thunderbirds analogies already!) is wasted once they reach Telos (means 'finish' in Greek). One of the shorter Cybermen positively minces across the screen at one point (a cameo from behind the scenes?)
All this may lead you to believe that it's not a good story. It has its faults, but it is enjoyable, particuarly part one. It could have been better but is still manages to be one of the best stories Colin Baker appeared in (Does Caves of Androzani count?). Colin's portrayal of the Doctor here is probably one the best with most of the annoyingly pompous stuff (check out next season) missing. Nicola Bryant has Peri down perfectly, playing someone from Earth thrust into these, admittedly scary situations. (Ever notice how most companions seem not to worry too much when they're in danger?). Maurice Colbourne's Lytton is a much more sympathetic character and in fact all  the human characters appearing here are well portrayed with only the Cryons and Comicmen letting the side down. The guard with his arm on fire looks so silly you're expecting Leo Wanker's crew to run on set with the fire extinguishers.
One final criticism- the incidental music by Malcolm Clarke, apart from the sections reused from his own groundbreaking score from Earthshock, is absolutely dire. Clarke takes lief motif to the limits with every furrow of the brow, every heart beat and every blink accompanied by dire sounds that make one nostalgic for Dudley Simpsons early synth scores for Terror of the Autons (not Clarke's Sea Devils!).
 In the long run, this needed a little more action for the Doctor and fewer characters being introduced just to be killed off.  Like many latter season stories- needs another episode. 

VENGEANCE ON VAROS
Whereas Attack of the Cybermen was a well-made story needing a little work on the script to make it t a very good tale, Varos is a great script needing a little more effort in the production.
 As had been the case for some time, the studio-only stories tend to have a panto-like feel which detracted from this rather dark tale. Criticised for its violent content, this story probably gave the Beeb the excuse it needed to get rid of the series without much quibbling. Phillip Martin's  script raised the level of the plots dealing with issues in a way not seen in the series since perhaps Robert Holmes' The Sunmakers back in the late 70's.
Colin Baker's performance is still under control and Nicola Bryant has nailed Peri (lucky her). The visiting cast are almost all excellent with one important exception. Jondar is one of the most important characters in the story and Jason Connery (in an early role) simply cannot handle the dialogue, which to be fair, gets a bit too flowery. Areta is slightly better as are two turncoat guards, Rondel and Maldak,  all still a bit stiff, the former more so.
The rest of the cast is superb from Quillam, the Chief and Martin Jarvis's Governor, a character-type we've not seen much of before. Etta and Arak, removed from the action but affected by it more that any other character, are simply superb as arbiters of the action. Whenever the Doctor frees an opressed society we never how the masses percieve his endeavours. Until now. But even with so many well-judged performances, there is still one last role to discuss- Sil. While not directly a villain in this story, his machinations are the driving force for events. Nabil Shaban a disabled actor displays a talent that we haven't seen enough of.
In hindsight, the 45 minute format meant more changes to the series' established format, sometimes to the detriment, sometimes to the benefit of the show. 4 X 25 min episodes came to 100 mins though the double-length episodes were not quite the same as before with only two sets of titles and recaps missing. But the stories are shorter than it would first appear as JNT argued that 50 minute episodes without the extra titles and recaps would have put a strain on the budget. The actual structure of the stories is so different to past episodes, with episodes being a long episode one and episodes 3 and  a short part 4 condensed into the second instalment.
 The sets and costume designs are succesful, though the true grit of Varos begged for some film work though at least everything isn't floodlit white like the other 'indoor cricket' story of the season, Timetrash. The video effects in this story aren't too special but an effort was made to have weapons that weren't simple beams, even if they look a little easy to dodge. This story makes a lot of use of special lighting effects, coloured lights rather than creative use of lights. This story, like Frontios last season, cried out for shadows and a low grade film production.
 The music is usually subtle and you rarely feel its presence (there's one exception in Quillam's first scene). The direction by Ron Jones is, for once in a studio-only story, effective, with a subtelty not usually seen in his work.


MARK OF THE RANI-
Season Twenty-Two has often been maligned by older fans as being vicious and macabre and explicit and violent (sounds rather like a popular range of books,  doesn't it?). Yes it was violent, and the better for it, too. Two stories were very good; two were slightly disappointing continuity-less fests; and the other two were, and let's be honest, candidates for THE TOMORROW PEOPLE. Mark of the Rani, along with Glen McCoy's Mishmash, are the last two (Let's jaunt, Doctor!). This release is Tarzan and Jane No-Relation-to-either-of-the-Lead-Actors-with-the-Same-Surname's first attempt at bringing the quality of the second season of SPACE:1999 to DOCTOR WHO. Now take a deep breath...
At first glance, this story would appear to have all the hallmarks of a great DOCTOR WHO story- lots of film, lots of action, lots of maggots... It looks lush even without Peri's cleavage in sight. And then there's Kate O'Mara as the Rani. While the interior of her TARDIS is gorgeous, she's just not very interesting as a character, nor is she particularly evil, just unethical (You can't allow that, Jean Luc. Put a sock in it, Bev!). Anthony Ainley's Master is brilliant as usual, transcending the awesome awfulness of the proceedings (Aw-shucks) with a new found liking for extremely flowery language (hither me with a sausage). We have yet another blonde man in his twenties who doesn't act in Luke Ward, a character made less wooden by being turned into a tree. Whereas the Doctor had always loved to namedrop and hint at his helping hand in history, here we actually meet an historical figure. Why? Stephenson is mentioned less than Faraday (who doesn't even appear). To round off the guest cast is the old guy from Bergerac. And did I mention Peri's chest was covered up? A blooper, surely?
To look at, it's executed to a very high standard. The abundance of film and Sarah Hellings's assured direction helps the story, as do the thick accents- rather like Horror of Fang Rock without the light-up lettuce for a villain. The production values are very good, nothing looking particularly cheap or tatty but ultimately, it just doesn't engage you in the same way Revelation of the Daleks or even the Two Doctorsdo. I can't find major fault in any one area, but it just doesn't work. Mind you, neither do episodes 9-12 and 14 of Trial of a Timelord or Time and the Rani.
Is there any reason for buying this Tosh Lyons? Remember you're getting a quality product from the people who named a crewmember of Moonbase Alpha Shermeen in A Matter of Balance. But to be fair, it makes the whole thing work better than the four part versions seen here, almost like an episode of Blake's 7 with twice the budget and half the script. The Doctor spends a lot of time solving puzzles, some of which work, some of which do not (my favourite is the one where the Doc is suspended between two Luddite trees). There is always something going on, but it doesn't build up to anything extraordinary. It is rather like having two episode ones (or four normal-length episodes). Special mention goes to the baby T Rex- the most convincing reptile seen in the Eighties.
The whole season was full of experiments other than longer episodes/ fewer episodes thing. This is the first story not to feature Peri's cleavage, gone but not forgotten, though we won't see or hear of it again (until the next Missing Adventure to feature the Sixth Doctor written by a man). She does, however, look like the credit card hologram in Time to make Trax.
The idea of teaming up the Rani with the Master might have seemed a good idea at the time, like the idea of Eddie Murphy starring in Star Trek IV- The Voyage Home. But the end result is more like Batman Returns, the evil of two villains in one film diminishes in proportion to the crappidity factor of the script. One more film analogy to finish with- Dumb and Dumber accurately describes this stories' villains. But what ultimately makes this release attractive is its 1987 sequel, Two and the Ronnies.
RATING- Better than A Day at the Races but not as good as A Night at the Opera, I give it Sheer Heart Attack. 

THE TWO DOCTORS
On the surface, the Two Doctors is just an excuse to whip across to Spain, get some easy publicity by having a former Doctor return and generally piss-fart about. It recieved a mixed response apon its initial broadcast (probably because the hiatus broke during its showing- when something is axed, people tend not wait until the end) and over the years (I have only seen it about 4 times in total) its reputation has remained sullied for whatever reasons. It was watchable but I felt antipathy towards it, expecially the last time I saw it. After watching it this time, I wonder why I was so harsh.
I suppose the trick is never watch long stories in one sitting, particularly as there were  only two 80's stories longer than 100 mins. The plot is not so overloaded but considering the extra episode, it does work at its leisurely pace, not feeling padded like many of the Tom Baker six-parters (ie Armageddon Factor or Invasion of Time). For some reason, 80's stories seem to need longer story lengths due to added complexity of some of the plots (especially in the final two seasons).
Robert Holmes script is not as good as Caves of Androzani but then, what is? Considering the elements given to him to weave into a story, he did an excellent job, particularly on the characterisations. The dialogue is even more flowery as the last story but more considered and mostly delivered with verve.
I say mostly because Jacki Pearce as Chessene does have a habit of going a little broad in her performance, especially when her speeches start rabbiting on about destiny. Laurence Payne's third appearance in the series is his best role of all and is a Holmes creation down to the bone (despite repeating some of the more grandiose stuff so much that it loses impact- i.e.  "I shall set her among the gods," as if he was asking for change for the phone. Shockeye is a brilliantly realised character whose character is both funny and horrific. Holmesian is a bit overused in DW circles but Shockeye is probably Holmes' second last great character.
Poor Nicola Bryant. She gets her butt fondled by Colin Baker and John Stratton and Frazer Hines touches her in the infrastructure (touches her what?)
Nicola the Great (beats that Neighbours girl hands down) is terrific as usual as is Colin. Strange how losing his coat makes his Doctor more appealing, as if DW fans are so superficial that a coat turns us against a fine actor. For years I believed Colin's Doctor was one of the best and this season shows he is. How I'll feel after Trial of a Timelord is another matter. Oscar Botcheby, another Holmes trademark (making fun of theatrical types) is a diversion but ultimately just a sacrificial lamb to give the story some danger, because you know the Two Doctors and their companions aren't going to emerge with so much as a scratch. Though if Nicola Bryant was wearing those T-shirts that change colour depending in hear she'd have msle hand prints all over her (see Planet of Firereview). Annita is suitably Spanish just as the two Sontarans return menace to their race after Derek Deadman's horrendous miscasting in Invasion of Time (He plays the short idiot in Never the Twain). The new Sontaran suits are impressive apart from the neck pieces which fit poorly, apparently the actors cast as Varn and Styke swapped roles, the same thing happening later to the Chocolate Starfish Sontaran of Shakedown (the fans for money).
But we haven't even mentioned the return of Patrick Troughton and Frazer Hines. Frazer would have been about 40 (probably well over) and hides the years well here. Despite the one horrendous gaffe with having Jamie aware of the Timelords and the 2nd Doctor working for them the story works well. It would have worked better with the Third Doctor but then it was Pat who expressed a desire to return to the show soon after The Five Doctors was made. Despite the appearance of clutching at dried hay, having an old Doctor appear every alongside the current Doctor every few years might have been a nice boost. This is a fitting swansong for the second doctor.
Fans decry some of JNT's show-business casting (most of which worked with the exception of Richard Briers), Classic Trek did it in the 60's by casting a well-known lawyer as Gorgon and Babs is totally guilty of it, casting DJ's and show-biz reporters in minor roles all the time. A story that is a minor classic, one that gets better and better with time. 

TIMERASH
Timetrash is easily the least interesting and well-made story this season though at least compared to the Warriors of the Deep and Twin Dilemma, it at least has decent characterisations. While Doctor Who has usually always had at least one story per season written to be cheaper than the others, usually without location work and model work taped rather than filmed, these often tended to be the most disappointing productions and when combined with poor scripts, it's interesting to see which stories tend to float to the top of everyone's most hated episode lists. (Horns of Nimon, Paradise Towers, Happiness Patrol).
The story is patchy and based around silly gimmicky set pieces that invariably look cheap (the Timelash itself is a prime example of this, looking like the aftermath of an explosion in a combined tinsel and polystyrene factory, though why anyone would combine the two under one roof is anyone's guess. I can understand the transport costs would be reduced...) Things like the Doctor's use of the crystals to solve everything is a bit of a cheek, showing little imagination in any of the solutions offered.
Timetrash is unusual among the poorly regarded stories in that the acting is really good. All the key characters are brought to life, particularly Mikros (again, meaning "small" in Greek- I hope Vena stands for "not easily disappointed") being one of the few 'young rebel leader' types in the series that doesn't give you the impression that the Rani's tree mines were more common in the BBC Television Centre than at first glance.Jeananne Crowley gives Vena a dignified air, a little static in some scenes but keeping with the character (She was Sidney Reilly's mad wife in Reilly-Ace of Spies). Dicken Ashworth makes what appears to be a cameo (he was originally to be killed off in episode two, while Tracey Loise Ward as Katz gives some life to a pretty thankless role. The various Borad's are nothing special, the make-up used for the mutated version a little too cheap but the stand-out guest woulkd have to be Herbert (H.G. Wells to you and me). Glen McCoy obviously did a lot of research into Well but left out the fact he was a bit of a sex maniac.
Apart from the block of 4 by 2 who gets hurled into the Timehash at the start of the story and Mailin Renis, the cast are pretty well chosen. Apart from this season's second Blake's 7 regular appearing as guest villain. Whereas Jackie Pearce gives us a variation on Servalan, Paul Darrow shows another side to his talent, the ability to exactly resemble dried dog shit. I've seen Darrow in many roles and this is the only time he's reeked so much. Timeshash is made to look pnatomime as a result despite the strength of the rest of the cast.
Nicola Bryant isn't given anything interesting to do, given actions and dialogue that wouldn't be out of place in a Hartnell story. Ms Greer should have kept her bra flambe-free and used it to strangle Glen McCoy instead. Colin Baker's performance is good, his dialogue is actually quite good, or does his performance rise above the scripts limitations?
The costumes are interesting, very 80's but still believable, and believable in the fact that everyone doesn't wear the same thing. The sets are good but overlit, the scenes in the Timelash chamber when the tunnel is in operation, with the more subdued lighting shows how more considered lighting would have rasied the tone.
Overall, a very average story. Not so very bad, but not good. Just very, very average. In the same way Nightmare on Eden is average.

REVELATION OF THE DALEKS
This story is more the end of an era than the last episode of Trial of a Timelord. Although broadcast after the announcement postponing the next season, it was the first story affected on screen with the Doctor originally getting out  the word 'Blackpool' before the end credits (leading directly leading on to Graham Williams' Toymaker script for the original season 23).
It starts of as a low key story, with a slightly panto atmosphere but soon shows its black heart. Amusing and horrific at the same time, this story seems forgotten by many fans, who understandably had other things on their minds when this was first broadcast. In Australia, we did not get these episodes until early 1986 by which time the Cyber invasion had already been and gone. Possibly Colin Baker's best story, the last one in which his Doctor impresses as a hero (despite the costume).
As I said, the story starts out fairly low key, almost silly but Saward's almost Holmesian characters each have their own agendas, pushing the story in different directions. The casting for this story is particularly effective without a single wooden performance, thjough perhaps some of the guards could have been better trained- they look and move like their ill-fated
colleagues in Seeds of Death. Terry Molloy gives his best performance as Davros, shadowing the Daleks, who say very little until the middle of episode two. William Gaunt (The Champions)  is excellent as Orcini but perhaps Eleanor Bron's Kara is a little hammy. But only a little. Trevor Cooper as Takis shows her is a good dramatic actor (as opposed to his oafish Devis in Star Cops and his usual comic roles). Incidentally, this whole season has a very Greek flavour to naming things as I've already mentioned in the reviews of Attack of the Cybermen and Timelash (I also missed out Varos, meaning weight). But Necros means dead and Takis is the dimunitive of Dimitri (as Peri is to Perpugilliam, supposedly), or Jimmy. But Jimmy the morgue worker isn't very scary, is it?
Alexei Sayle's casting may seem like stunt casting but he had done many straight dramatic roles before this story (ie- Gorky Park). Clive Swift's egotistical Jobel is a creation you don't normally see in Doctor Who but makes a change from people being on one side or the other. He just doesn't care about anything but his work. In fact most of the 'good guys' are antagonistic towards each other until the end when they all come together. Davros is defeated by his own creations once more but strangely enough, both he and they escape with only the frozen Dalek army being destroyed.
The cast, I like. The script, I love. The direction, I adore. Graeme Harper's last contribution to Doctor Who is a triumph and a pity he was never asked back considering one of the major failings of the Sylvester McCoy era is poor direction of complex plots, something Harper handled well here.
The sets are excellent and the costumes not too ambitious but thankfully non-spacey. Video effects are the most extensive seen in a while, though one gets the feeling a number of new effects devices were available to the crew compared to the previous story which looks no better than the late 70's stories.
The series would never be the same, this, the last story to be made without a cloud over the series' future. In fact, had the hiatus not occurred and JNT allowed to move on, the series would probably still be being made today. But it's not.
The Foxtel cable showing was the first time in Australia this stoary has been seen uncut. Jobel's death used to consist of Tasambeker charging Jobel, a quick flash of the hypodermic stickingout of his chest before a cut to the next scene. Now we see Jobel's lingering death in all its horror. The deaths are handled much better and with more emotion that the similar Cyberman story earlier in the season. Conversely, the Dalek exterminations are less horrific than last season and the Daleks blow up on a more regular basis, and strangely, seem to blow apart beforeexploding. One prop note: The DJ's rock and roll beam is a slightly modified version of Shooty and Bang Bang's lasers from the TV version of Hitch-Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy.
A great story. And probably the last great (existing) story yet to be released on video.

TRIAL OF A TIMELORD
Hmmmm. After the series was put on hiatus and the new season cut down to 14 twenty-five minute episides, the shortest seaosn length ever,  the original scripts for season 23 were scrapped in favour of one long story. Since the series was on trial' by BBC lowerarchy, JNT decided that the Doctor should also be put on trial, parallel that extends to the series future- The valeyard being the distillation of the Doctor's side, somewhere between the 12th and 13th regeneration (he only has 12 regenerations, but thirteen selves). So the Cartmel era would see the darker side, the side close to the colour of shit, which is appropriate since most of Cartmel's influence smells like that.
The Mysterious Planet was always lumbered with the worst story of the season. I don't feel that way any more. The story, Robert Holmes last full story- written whilst the author was seriously ill, isn't a masterpiece but is very solid, engaging over four episodes and with better casting, might have been quite good. I think many people were disappointed with the new look but as the season progressed, expectations were lowered.
The direction is decent but the story could have used better. The special effects mostly good, though the pacing of the action scenes is a bit flabby. The opening scene of the Time Lord space station is nicely done, but a bit too showy, in an unneccesary way.
Tony Selby and Glen Murphy as Glitz and Dibber, instantly identifiable as Holmes creations are just about the best thing to emerge from this season and as a result, they steal the show. It's a pity that Glitz was only used as a comic foil in his later appearances, alas without Dibber, who was not as stupid as Glitz made out. The rest of the cast is mostly adequate, Roger Brierly bringing Drathro to life with a voice to match its physically intimidating dimensions, similar to the giant Robot but without being a clone. Humker, Tandrell and Balazar are all realised in a genuine fashion but Tom Chadbone is you'd think he was actually in Macbeth as part of McDuff's deciduous army. Joan Sims is totally unable to make any of her dialogue, which is rather flowery, seem real. Michael Jayston and Lynda Bellingham bring life to their respective roles but as the season wore on, the interruptions to the narrative seemed to be excessive with many courtroom scenes repeated.
Mindwarp is a weird story as it has a lot going for it and a lot detracting from it. In its favour is the look at the Mentor's homeworld with Chris Ryan and Nabil Shaman being particularly good.
Patrick Ryecart is a cartoom nad scientist but I mean that in the nicest possible way, it's just a pity that the rest of the cast put no effort into things. Brian Blessed is loud as usual in his sf appearances but it's just the same character he portrayed in Blake's 7 nearly a decade earlier. The direction is better than say Warriors of the Deep or Twin Dilemma but it still has many faults. In fact I'd say it feels disjointed, a trait exacerbated by cutting to the trial scenes.
The sets aren't at all special, nor the costumes, and if it wasn't for the fact it was integral to the trial plot, it wouldn't be worth making a big deal about.
Terror of the Vervoids is silly, with very little to do with the trial apart from upping the stakes for the Valeyard. In fact, there are dozens of adventures the Doctor could have used to illustrate his innocence- this isn't what I would show anyone if I wanted to save my life if I were the Doctor. Colin's girth seems to have expanded considerably or is it that compared to Bonnie Lanfords, Barbie-like waist, even Lalla Ward would have looked like more like Lard.
Despiet being annoying and talking in cliches, Ms Langford plays Mel as if they were in a Children's BBC teen-spy drama. More Nancy Drew than Sarah Jane, but with dialogue by Pip and Jane Baker, who obviously buy a very expensive thesaurus before every script as they seem intent on making the most of it. The dialogue isn't as pretentious as Mark of the Rani (but then what is?) however it still gets a little stilted in places, particulalry when the Doctor speaks, whereas in previous instalments of this season saw most trial sequences bogged down by dialogue that reeked of artificially long-legged carnival workers.
With practically every humanoid character either a murderer, saboteur or hijacker, and the Vervoids not making much of an impact until the second half of episode 12 (or part 4 of the story), this story would worked well as a two parter with onlt the Doland, Vervoid stuff and less of the Agatha Christie stuff (Ten Trite Tales). The acting is so variable with corny dialogue that this story is just a slightly better budgeted Timeflight/ Timelash but with a worse script.
The Ultimate Foe has the uneviable task of wrapping everything up is two episodes. Not only that, there was no script editor, Robert Holmes died after completing only one episode, Eric Saward refused to change the endiong of his version of episode 14 so that things were resolved and to cap things off, JNT chose Pip and Jane to tie up all the loose ends. Despite this, its by far the best made part of the whole season.
The direction and acting are the best this season and the script actually makes sense of the whole thing, even if part 13 seems a little slow and part 14 a bit too rushed (even though the last episode is 30 minutes long!). The particle disseminator is as close to pissy as is possible without actually showing a stream of yellow liquid and what the hell is a megabyte modem, a rather quaint name for something taht has nothing to do with a PC. Other than being pissy.


The Seventh Doctor-
Time and the Rani, Paradise Towers, Delta and the Bannermen, Dragonfire, Remembrance of the Daleks, Greatest Show in the Galaxy, Happiness Patrol, Silver Nemesis, Battlefield, Curse of Fenric, Ghost Light, Survival


TIME AND THE RANI-
Let the Curse of Cartmel begin...
My knife is blunt. So I will be blunt as well. Tim and the Rainy: It's not funny, it's not interesting, it's not well directed, it's not a good story, it's not a convincing regeneration, Mel is in it. "Nadir" is an overused word in fandom. You never hear people use it in real conversation except to describe anything with Lada on the bonnet. But the 1987 season of Doctor Who attracts labels like nadir in much the same way dogs attract fleas. This month's release begins the new naming policy of J-NT:-Time and the Rani, Paradise and the Towers, Delta and the Bannermen and Dragon and the fIRE (Abbreviated to DIRE).
You have sixty seconds to read this paragraph.
Reviewers, Ready! Criticisers, Ready! The concept is too big- the end of the whole universe, makes for a very impersonal threat, especially the way it is presented here. The brain is too big- "It might be a tumour?" There is a 'big hair' motif throughout the story- Mel, The Rani, The Lakertyans, Einstein, the thin sixth Doctor- all have visited the hairdressers for this story. Bosnia-Herzogovina is a more cohesive union of disparate elements than those in this script. Strange Matter- good name, why not call it Bad Stuff or Weird Rock or Complete Bollocks. The Rani spends time impersonating Mel- as if one weren't bad enough. The acting standard is poor- there is more wood here than in even Edward Woodward's name. The Lakertyans, a race of indolent, impotent, incompetent ingrates in deep doggie-doo, radiate all the charm of that girl in sea Quest who offers to sleep with anyone before they die.
But to paraphrase Vanessa (Did I really pose for those?) Williams- I've gone and saved the best for last. Bonnie Langford. What is it that makes people suddenly like her enough to stick her in books. Well, if you're completely unable to articulate the Doctor's character as it appeared on TV, why not just rewrite everyone to suit your limitations. The less said about Dancing Queen, the better. But let me just add this: With the constant revisionism of opinion within fandom, Bonnie Langford will soon be the most popular companion. Someone should submit a MA to BBC Books featuring Mel tentatively called Mel Dies Horribly- Film at Eleven.
When the Beatles recorded Sgt. Pepper in 1967, they used to cut up audio tape, throw the bits up in the air, and splice the pieces back together in any old order. Remarkable how years later, Andrew Cartmel used this same method when script editing Time and the Nanny (and every story thereafter). 'It was twenty years ago today, Sergeant Benton taught the Bok to slay.'
RATING- It is impossible to ascribe a number to quality DOCTOR WHO. With Time and the Rani, it has never been easier. 2/10. (Don't the bubbles remind you of the trees in Mark of the Rani?)


PARADISE TOWERS
Ever since I saw the Fox telemovie, ever since I realised how good a bad script could be entertaining with the right production values, I've had very little time for bilge like Paradise Beach. I haven't seen it since 1988, when my first impression was one of hmmmm, and hoped Delta and the Bannermen and Dragonfire would be better. They were (just) but eight years between shots should have changed my opinion. It has.
I hate it even more, finally consigning Pacific Drive to the same Shame File as Horns of Simon, Happiness Breadroll and The Thyroid Invasion. Nothing succeeds like excess, but this story just plain sucks . Over-acted, way over-written, too many episodes for the rather scant storyline- it all adds up to a mess. Moronic characterisations, particularly the Caretakers, super-cringeworthy dialogue and a propensity for ham worse than Babe and you have a recipe for pictures of smashed television sets owned by rich fat record producers being splashed all over the UK tabloids. If they didn't cost so much, I'd have smashed mine. So I did the next best thing and smashed the next-door neighbour's.
'If you haven't got anything nice to say, don't say anything at all,' someone once said to me but she was an arsehole. Parasite Towers has reasonable sets. End compliment. But the sub-Huxley satire of the script is tiresome after episode one when all the running around in circles begins. Why, with the entire universe to explore, would the Doctor want to go to Paradise Towers? The Caretakers, gangs, old cannibals, all supposed to be a spoof of the tower block flats crowding the inner-cities of Britain, but as a source for intergalactic adventures, it falls far short of the mark, unlike a jumper from the top of one of the aforementioned tower blocks.
One reason why the story doesn't work is that Bonnie Langford plays Mel as if she were a precocious eight-year-old, something which she undoubtedly was. Misread the story synopsis, 'Rezzies eat Mel Bush,' and you could have had a half-decent X-File or even an XXX film. Even seeing a companion in her togs isn't a good enough reason to fork out 25 bucks, seeing how it is only Bonnie Langford. Paradise Cowers hurts me as a Doctor Who fan the same way being impaled by a rampant forklift would hurt my chances of winning "1997 Person without a Gaping Hole in their Stomach Award."
Any fan poll which didn't feature these four episodes in the "Ten Worst Stories" section would be extremely suspect. It is one of the very worst stories ever, certainly the worst McCoy story (and most of his are white and crumbly) probably of the 80's. At least there are very good excuses for The Krotons and Horns of Nimon being so poor. Paradise Towels was four of only fourteen episodes made in 1987 and all of the upheavals behind the scenes couldn't make up for the sheer awfulness of this story. Any Doctor Who story that you can't watch for longer than ten minutes at a time isn't worth a single Fly-By point. I will think long and hard before watching it again. And to think, Remembrance of the Daleks is only a season away...
RATING- Vomiting is slightly more fun and less colourful

DELTA AND THE BANNERMEN
The first three part story since Planet of the Giants in 1964, Delta is much maligned for its silliness but is probably the only 3-part story that fits perfectly into its slot.
Despite the fact the only studio footage is of a few cutaways of the Doctor in the TARDIS, or probably because of the locations, this is least cheap-looking story this season with the best production values of the season and the best acting. Not hard in a season which was generally two steps back in most regards, but still rather good. Pipped only slightly by Dragonfire as the best story of the season, I would give Delta and the Bannerman the thumbs up in retrospect. Not a great story but one with few actual flaws- apart from clashing with the tastes of Most Doctor Who stories. It's almost like a slightly more serious episode of Hitch-Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy, this , despite the fun atmosphere, is the least panto-like story of the year.
The video effects are excellent, with matching of CSO layers near flawless. The idea of one story each season being completely made on location was actually a good one as the studio work of the McCoy era was generally disappointing.
The acting is the best this season and while the decorations may be flippant, the story works.
It's a story that grows on you while the more mundane ones surrounding it were more acceptable at the time probably because they weren't as different from fans' expectations. Just as for years, everyone took Jeremy Bentham's word that Gunfighters was terrible but didn't think it was that bad once they saw it, so Delta doesn't age. Despite the fact that the Doctor cradles a Fender Stratocaster copy at the end when Strat copies were rarer that the real thing- that's why the Beatles never used Strats- they were too hard to get a hold of compared to other makes like Hohner and Rickenbacker.
This is the only story this season where Mel isn't totally annoying and the only time this year that McCoy got his performance right as a caring Doctor that wasn't a carbon copy of Patrick Troughton. Delta's a bit bland but the rest of the cast are great, particularly Ray, who was prepped to be a companion but in light of Ace, who's contemplating what might have been?
Not really important. Just like this season. It's a pity, because Cartmel hasn't actually done much wrecking yet. The first two stories if the season were total shite and the last two average, but what the hell was Cartmel playing at?

DRAGONFIRE
Back when this story premiered, it was hailed as the season's best, average anywhere else, but the best out of the 4 1987-produced stories. Over a decade later, I feel Delta and the Bannermen is actually the better story in everyway. While Dragonfire isn't bad, it's not great. Just average. The averageness is everywhere. The sets are ordinary, the plot silly with rather bland acting all round. Edward Peel as Kane is probably the only stand-out of the guest cast with Tony Selby reduced to comic relief in a story that would have been more at home as an episode of Red Dwarf. The rest of the cast are going through the motions with Sylvester McCoy's performance so wacky that it wouldn't be out of place in one of Ken Campbell's silly stage shows of the 70's (rent one of the early Secret Policeman's ball videos, maybe even the first one and you'll see what McCoy used to do for a living).
The special effects, oddly enough, are excellent, from the hand-guns to the model work to the Dragon itself. The explosion of the Nosferatu is probably the best such scene in the series history. Kane's death is also suitably chilling.
The dialogue is so hammy that no amount of refrigeration could hide the smell of rotting bacon. Brigg's is a frustrated comedy writer at heart with the comedy being the best of the McCoy era but the drama one of the least interesting with most of the story plundered from sources such as Aliens and Superman (even the set designs bought into that one).
Mel's on her way out after so the less said about her the better but even her leaving scene is full of clichés (no more dodgy dealings!). McCoy's performance proving that Patrick Troughton didn't die, but possessed Sylv. But the one highlight of the story is Sophie Aldred who single handely breathed life into this story and is the only reason to watch it. Sophie was the main reason to tune in next season though as things were to turn out, there was at least one story that proved to be better than anything for years. DragonfireIS the story before it.
Sylvester ist ein grosse schniedlevutz.


REMEMBRANCE OF THE DALEKS
or  "Oh My God, they Killed Cartmel!"
"You Beauty!"
This is an important story for many reasons. One- it is Sylvester McCoy's only near perfect story. It is one of the few post Davison stories to be in most people's Top 10. Two- It is probably the last Dalek story ever and one of the best. Three- It marks the beginning of Cartmel's attempts to rewrite history and the only only time it actually works. It also marks the beginning of Fanboy Who- where the series is starting to be made by fans.
Ben Aaronovitch's first contribution to Doctor Who is his only worthwhile one but what a contribution. The script is both well written and understandable, unlike practically everything still to come. The acting is top notch and the direction assured. The familiar settings help this story's credibility no end with no cheapness to be seen. Caves of Androzani may the fan's favourite but this (before the Telemovie) is what I'd show a non-fan and not be (so) embarrassed.
The Daleks are on top form, particularly Davros' new-look army. The Renegade Dalek's look pretty spiffy too, although they appear to be the older casings.
After Davros' capture by the Dalek Supreme's forces on Necros it appears he managed to regain control of the Daleks by re-engineering them, only to have a number of Daleks loyal to the Dalek Supreme rebel against the changes. This story is more relevant to fans in 1998 than it was 10 years ago with fascists such as Pauline Hanson and David Irving running around with firecrackers up their arses. All the professed bigots- both humanoid and pepperpotoid have done to them what they would do to others- are exterminated! All except for Smith's mum. That's a plothole if ever I saw one. In fact, apart from a few faceless soldiers, only those controlled by the bad guys are killed.
Three quibbles that Cartmel should have seen. 1) I.M. FORMAN. 2) Why does Gilmore order Mike to take Ace with him in episode 1 considering she's so young and a Captain wouldn't allow a strange girl into a combat situation in the 60's. 3) Why doesn't Gilmore place  Smith under arrest immediately.
The Cast are fantastic with many familiar faces though I'm still trying to fathom what Rachel's function is. George Sewell, Michael Sheard, Pamela Salem, Peter Halliday, Simon Williams- all greeeeeet! And Sylvester and Sophie are on top of their respective games. The girl was a bit flat in places but then at least we weren't offered Grange Hill cast-offs with the denouement being effective as far as the audience is concerned though the fact Ratcliffe didn't know who the girl was at the cemetery was a bit far fetched.
The best Doctor Who since 1984 and my second fave. To quote Del Tarrant- "It's all downhill from here."

GREATEST SHOW IN THE GALAXY
Not a brilliant story but an enjoyable one. This is probably slightly better than Silver Nemesis, but is a hangover of the more pantomime style of schlock like Time and the Rani and more disgustingly by the same author's Paradise Towers. It is mostly enjoyable to watch and is a pretty traditional Doctor Who story, despite the garish surroundings (it is a circus). The characters are all typically British in the way only Doctor Who could get away with. It is also childish with some of the characters such as Nord and Whiz Kid grating instantly. The whole point is taken about the Gods of Ragnorak but why the silly 50'a charade things of the family.
 Sophie Aldred doesn't really do anything interesting in this apart from be moody and McCoy is left to carry the story. TPMackenna plays the same character he plays in everything, someone cultured with a dark streak, the same character he has played with slight variations in everything he's been in, including Callan and Blake's 7.
 The special effects are quite god apart from the the scene where the Doctor travels to see the Gods of Ragnorak, a sequence which is one of the most amateurish in the 80's stories. A bit of glitter some solarisation and feedback around the edges accompanied by Sylv's gurning make this a bit of a clunker in the late 80's.
 The music is one of the best scores of the post-Radiophonic Workshop era evocative without OD'ing on the handclaps. A romp is probably the best way to describe the story.


THE CRAPPINESS PATROL.
Pure Dirge masquerading (or cross-dressing in some fan circles) as satire. This pile of fecculant drivel is the final nail in the coffin of the series. It also has the distinction of the being the last truly shite story. This is the last bungled operation to remove the bullet lodged next to the series heart. Everyone involved should be shot.


SILVER NEMESIS
An anniversary story for the series 25th year and becomes the 150th story if you count Trial of a Timelord as four separate stories (which it isn't). The story is a little silly and the acting, direction and production doesn't quite match the extra scrutiny a story like this would receive.
The story is over the place and contains all the elements that marred the latter years of the show.
Rambling story, mortal enemies having pleasant conversations that aren't finished run off do the same with someone else than returning to finish the conversation with the original mortal enemy before anyone's life is threatened. Look at all of next seasons stories for confirmation of this theory.
 The Nazi's are a waste of space, and totally unnecessary in a three part story that's overloaded. They're the obvious candidates for being left out of the second draft. Not that there seemed to have been much of a second draft.
Lady Peinforte was all right but a Cyberman story should have them as a bad guy, not three separate sets of baddies. Mark of the Rani proved it doesn't work abut here it's just ridiculously top heavy. This is one of the few stories where the Doctor and Co make no allies (apart from Richard's rescuing  them from the Cyberleader at the end), but still there are two many characters working against the Doctor. Fiona Walker is an excellent villain but I can't help but feel that having people time-travel through black magic ruins 20 years of work overcoming some of the sillier concepts from the Hartnell era.
  The last Cyberstory had similar character overloading and in the end the Cybermen don't suffer in this story but nor does their stature increase. The new weapons go back twenty years in terms of special effects (the making of vid has the video effect operator explain an effect was planned but obviously the accountants put a stop to that.). The video effects are very good and there are lots of bangs and flashes from the visual effects department (they even got a helicopter to simulate thrust from the cybership) but the direction of the battlescenes is so lethargic that you get the impression all the combatants are heavily sedated. Karl runs across the field to recover the bow and a Cyberman tracks him the whole way and fires after he returns to cover. It's like the joke from Red Dwarf.
"Why does anyone we meet want to kill us?"
"Why can't anyone we meet shoot straight?"
Very obviously a hip fan story, the style should appeal to those who liked the New Adventures. IE its disappointing. The whole concept of trying to reestablish the Doctor's mystery is a misguided one. It worked very well in Remembrance of the Daleks but would start to get archly out of hand next season. At least here he only has an idea of what's going to happen rather than firm knowledge.
 Anyway it's a Cyberman story.

BATTLEFIELD
Season 26's opening story is another that should have been better. It has some of the best characters (One of Ben Aaronovitch's strengths) but the story is so dire that it has fallen apart.
So having characters from King Arthur's legend turn out to be aliens is not a bad idea, just one that was badly handled. Again, there's a lot of mortal enemies having conversations walking off and coming back to finish the job later. Again there's more proof that magic is real. Again there's poorly directed action scenes. In fact the action scenes are total rubbish with virtually no editing to tighten things up (it sure as hell needed tightnening).
 Of course, the cast is very good but they don't rescue it from the cruddy script and dire-ction. Seeing the Brigadier and Bessie again is good and for once UNIT gives fans nothing to complain about (they've finally learnt from their previous encounters with unexplained phenomena).
 If the original intention to cloth the warriors in space armour rather than trraditional armour then the script might have worked a bit better for the audience. The Destroyer is another McCoy era monster that is almost totally ignored by the production team (like the Kandyman) a great creation wasted.



CURSE OF FENRIC
Some stupid elements and some pretentious ones, but on the whole not a bad story.
The script gets too bogged down in flowery dialogue but like the previous story the dialogue is quite good, but here so the direction. It flows in the one direction, despite some jumble. How can Kathleen Dudman receive news of her dead husband after all the radios on the base had been smashed? Generally speaking, We have here the season's best story but only after repeated viewings.
 A preview of the new Adventures and the way they would distort the series beyond our expectations but here, unlike the book series, it is ayt least somewhat palatable to fans like myself who are in love with the TV serieswe know as Doctor Who.



GHOST LIGHT
All of the stories of this season have one thing in common. They try too hard to be atypical Doctor Who. This is no exception but then it's also a complete muddle with things done with little reason most of the time. It's also another example of a story where sworn enemies walk around have half conversations before being interrupted and so on.
 There's quite a lot to digest and most of it is quite good , it's just things like Light and Control being elements that really aren't necessary when Josiah is villain enough for the story.
 It has an Avengers-like quality to some of the evil characters such as the maids with the handguns,  and in some ways is a very good story but as usual tries too hard to be gothic, post modern and classical Doctor Who in one 3-part story. The melange of styles doesn't work. Despite this Ghost Light works a lot better when there's no promise of anything better next season.

SURVIVAL
The end of an era. Survival is that most curious of story, not because it is anything special, not very good nore very bad, but the last instalment of a series that, although there's nothing final about the proceedings, in retrospect, you knew the cast didn't know where their next pay check was coming from. Who gives a monkey's about the story which would have made a great two parter ending when the humans return to Perivale. This is the last televised Doctor Who made by the BBC. Such a shame it couldn't have gone out with a bit more of a bang...
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 



The Eighth Doctor-
Doctor Who- The Movie (The Enemy Within)


DOCTOR WHO- The Discontinuity Guide, Volume 2.
 Well one of the more interesting paperbacks to emerge from Virgin in recent years was The Discontinuity Guide from the pen, quill and crayon of Keith Topping, Paul Cornell, and Martin Day (hereafter known as Top- Corn- Day), a light-hearted look at twenty-six years of a television program, desiccated into 350 pages. You'd think since that only eighteen or so months has elapsed since that successful tome was released that a sequel would be a little premature. Well, Disco is alive and kicking. Doctor Who- The Discontinuity Guide, Volume Two weighs in at an unprecedented 490 pages of very small print and covers, not as you might expect, the New and Missing Adventures, but deals exclusively with the recent Fox telemovie starring Paul McGann.
  Whereas the original book looked at each story individually with sections divided into Fluffs, Goofs, Dialogue Triumphs and Disasters, Fashion Disasters, Continuity, etc; the new work takes a new route: Post-Modern American Cliches, It-Seemed-Like-A-Good-Idea-At-The-Time, This-Will-Shut-The-Fans-Up, and This-Will-Shit-The Fans-Up, That's-a-Bit-Farty and my favourite section, the What-The-Hell-Was-That-All-About?
 In the Cliches department we have the blase morgue staff (where's the sandwich?), a role perhaps overwritten and definitely overacted. What may have seemed like a stylish touch- the (unintentionally) hilarious slo-mo scenes of Grace racing though the hospital corridors in her gown- is a source of amusement. I can't wait to see it on a Laserdisc so I can have hours of fun twiddling the jog dial and watch her going backwards and forwards. I'd kill to see the blooper reel and see Daph go for a tumble, sprain her ankle and call her personal injury lawyer. Keeping the fans placated is actually a very small section consisting of Sylvester McCoy's cameo plus the keeping of the theme music and the police box shape. Keeping the fans glued to the toilet is a much, much bigger ask, utilising over 60 per cent of the page count. The extra-strong laxatives include: the first kiss, the second kiss, the Doctor becoming half-human, the whole climax (not in relation to the kiss mind you) which is so confusing and overblown that you need to a fiction writer for Virgin to understand it (That's satire). This last bit is covered in even more exaggerated form in the What-The-Hell-Was-That-All-About? bit.
 All in all, this book, like the novelisation, the script book, the t-shirt, the video, the phone card, the mug, the model and the newly-launched fashion line DWNY; is all about marketing of the movie.
RATING: a mark you give to something to indicate the reviewer's opinion.
 P. S.  For those of you who haven't twigged yet, there is no volume two but this is just an excuse to pick a few holes in the telemovie. I did enjoy it an awful lot and with very few exceptions, was very pleased with it. Script-holes and Eric Roberts uneven performance apart, it was on of the best Who's ever