Daria vs. Predator
By
Bob Marley
(ncript@hotmail.com)
(It will help a lot if the reader has some familiarity with the Predator
movies and Universe created by Dark Horse comics. Needless to say, a
decent understanding of the Daria universe won't hurt either especially
since there are a couple of inside jokes contained in the following
tome. Other than that, I'm going to go ahead and throw in the
obligatory copyright and violence etc. rating right here..You won't have
to worry about that in the first chapter but number two and three could
easily do some damage to the sensitive. With all that taken care of, on
with the show, because I know you guys don't want to hear all the front
notes baloney I previously appended to this chapter when it was first
written.)
Chapter 1
(Setting: our perspective is oddly tinged with strange shades of color
ranging all across the spectrum, strangely enough, it seems we are
watching this scene unfold through the eyes of something that sees heat.
The image that first appears coalesces into a definite perspective,
those who are familiar with the layout of Lawndale will recognize it as
an above and to the side view of a sidewalk in a quiet suburban
neighborhood, in the background we hear a melange of odd sounds varying
between static-like feedback sounds to odd clicks and whistles..
wherever we're watching the street from it's fairly above street
level...the background noise we can't identify is joined by snippets of
conversation and radio like sounds, we hear... "The Middleton area and
it's suburbs continue to weather the consequences of rising temperatures
and rising tempers..." and "July of this year has resulted in record
statistics in terms of heat and humidity..." The perspective we're
looking down from shifts abruptly as outside sounds interrupt what we've
heard...we're now looking down the stretch of boiling hot sidewalk where
two forms appear trailed by a third... the heat false-color images gain
definition as whatever is watching zooms in and we find ourselves
looking at two teenage girl's trailed by a thinner boy...body language
and the conversation makes up for what we lose in terms of picture
definition. We're looking down at Quinn Morgendorffer and her
friend/sycophant Stacy as they approach our perspective...behind
them..appears one Charles Ruttheimer III, Lawndale's resident rich
loser...obviously on the lookout for potential love interests...our
perspective shifts back to the normal picture we get for a certain
animated show, we're looking at our buddy "Upchuck" as he closes in for
the kill)
Upchuck: Ladies, come now, the indoor pool at my humble abode has been
looking particularly cold and wet as of late. Surely, you two fine,
young women wouldn't mind taking advantage of the aforementioned for the
small price of me getting a close look at your, "attributes" as
showcased by bikini's?
Quinn: (stopping to blow him off) Stop following us you loser. I
wouldn't go out with you if you were the last man with an indoor pool on
Earth!
Stacy: Yeah, leave us alone you creep. (Both young women resume their
march through the hot summer afternoon, leaving our buddy Chuck in
flames, since it's late in the summer, he's obviously run out of people
his age to hit on..)
(Sudden perspective shift...we're back to the heat based image as
whatever's eye's we're looking through looks directly down at Upchuck as
he watches the subjects of his ardor move farther up the block)
Upchuck: Fiesssty!!! (with this, he turns and starts walking back down
the hot pavement from whence he came)
(Moments later our perspective shifts drastically, almost as if the
viewer is falling towards the ground below before we come to a dead
stop...our viewpoint is now looking at the backs of the retreating girls
as they head away a solid block from the viewer's location..a lightning
quick turn brings us level with the retreating back of Upchuck as he
strides off, remaining unconvinced of his lack of studhood
apparently...sudden shift back to the normal animated image...we're
looking at the spot Upchuck just vacated on the pavement and something
is there...a crouching, chameleon like apparition, matching the
surrounding scenery perfectly appears to take one final look back at the
retreating women before standing up...Without warning, the seven foot
tall wraith springs nearly soundlessly for the tree we now realize it
was watching the recent exchange from. Suddenly, we're back to the
original heat based image as our perspective rushes through the trees,
whatever we just saw is swinging from tree to tree to cross the suburban
wilderness...Again without warning, a set of oddly colored block letters
comes into focus as the shot moves along..."Daria vs. Predator" cue
theme music from the first Predator Film
(Dummm...Dum...Dah..Dah....Dummm....Dum.Dah.Dah.Dummm...Dummm..Dummm....Dah...Dummm...DAH...DAHHHHH!!!
that isn't all there is to it but trust me it's cool sounding) opening
credits role after which we end up back in the standard animated (re
Daria) color and picture scheme...we're in another location again
looking down at the street but it ain't exactly suburban...this area is
just off the Lawndale shopping district near Mcgrundy's Pub and a few
old apartment buildings and shops..
Our focus zooms in to reveal a darkly and heavily dressed (despite the
heat) form trudging through the sweltering streets on her way to an out
of the way club where a friend of hers note told her to meet her. A
close shot reveal's the form of our heroine, one young, cynical,
teenager named Daria slowly plowing ever onwards through the heat
scorched urban/suburban wasteland. She's doing her best to make headway
through the silent and muggy streets but we can see her sweating
regardless, abruptly she looks up from the white expanse of sidewalk.
Daria(questioning tone): (thought VO)Well I guess it can't hurt. (Out
loud) OH GOOD, I WAS FEELING TOO DRY? (No response from the empty
district, we get a bit of an echo off the nearby buildings, she looks
skyward) Nope, no rain, good to see my belief in the total indifference
of the almighty to my lowly problems is still accurate..(looking back
down at the street, she turns into a slightly shaded alley that is the
most direct approach to her goal...a little relief from the oppressive
sun but not much....talking to herself under her breath) Maybe if I hit
a rock with a big stick, or better yet, a fire hydrant? (she moves on
down the dirt stained alley)
(Sudden shift, we're looking down from above as a slightly shadowed form
lit by weird shades of orange and red moves on a background of darker
hues...we're seeing Daria from the earlier perspective we saw the other
Lawndalians before, whatever sees her is relatively close, maybe only
two or three stories above her...in the background the sounds are
back..we hear "TOO DRY?" repeated a couple times as a sort of helical,
red, sidebar in the display blinks..our perspective zooms to an
extremely close view of the young lady below..we can see the side of
Daria's glasses and one of her eyes as she moves....)
(Again a sudden shift, a loose piece of masonry from one of the nearby
building's roofs falls. Narrowly missing our leading lady, it clatters
on the concrete alley floor before coming to a stop)
Daria(pausing before looking up): (heavy sarcasm and still being
biblical) Oh good, ask for rain, get falling rocks, what's next, a
plague of locusts? (Noticing something above as she looks up) What the?
(There's something standing atop the roof of the building to her left, a
massive, nearly invisible, form mirroring the empty sky above her looks
down at her, almost quizzically if we could see the rounded head better.
Abruptly, the shape, incredibly, leaps across the almost ten foot space
between the two buildings and is gone... Daria is genuinely floored, she
shakes her head to get a grip on the image but as she looks back up,
nothing but heat waves are moving as they waft off the pavement ahead.
An odd look crosses her visage before she resumes walking, faster this
time, towards her objective, something extremely out of the ordinary has
just occurred
(
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