The characters in this story are not my own.
     DISCLAIMER: Daria and all related characters are the property of MTV
productions.
     DISCLAIMER: STARGATE SG-1 and all related characters, weapons, and
exerpts are the property of MGM studios.

This is my first fanfic so please don't judge it to harshly.


     written by Steve Mitchell

                               THROUGH the GATE


  SETTING: Monday  may 11,2000
The Lawndale seniors arrive at the Lawndale museum of science and archeology 
on a field trip for their history class. Dimartino is about to rip his hair 
out once again because Kevin and Brittany keep tripping the alarm system when 
they try to touch the exhibits.

Dimartino: KEVIN!!....(eye looks like its about to explode) what part of do 
not touch does that atrophied cluster of cells you call your BRAIN..not 
understand?

Kevin: uummm....the don't part??

Brittany: Oh babe...you actually got the question right!

Kevin: Cool. Maybe I am learning something here after all.

Dimartino:(trying to calm himself down but still speaking through his teeth) 
Kevin...walk to the center of the hall and stay there for the rest of the day 
without moving. Can you do that Kevin?

Kevin: umm..I guess so. (Walks off)

(A man walks up to the class as they are standing around in groups of two and 
three.
(The man is dressed like he went out on safari and got back just in time.

Dimartino: CLASS LISTEN UP.....THIS is Mr.Pelias..he is the director of this 
museum and will be giving us an extensive tour of the place so make sure you 
PAY attention because you will have to write a six page report on what 
artifact you found most interesting and why.
BY THE WAY.. Did I mention that this paper is DUE tomorrow. Have fun.
 
(Dimartino walks off to talk with one of the other teachers on the trip
 
(Moans and sighs come from the students)

Daria: Great Just what I need a major report on a bullshit subject that's due 
tomorrow.

The day has already taken a dark and sinister turn on us and it's only 9:00 in 
the morning.

Jane: Yeah, bummer... do you think it's possible that the day could get 
better?

Daria: Not likely, unless maybe all the exhibits fall over and come crashing 
down on Mr.Dimartino.

Jane: (grinning)  Daria the optimist. There may be hope for you yet.

(MR.PELIAS has gathered the class together and has begun to guide them on the 
tour through the (museum. He stops to point out each and every exhibit, where 
it was found and when. 
(During the tour daria stops from looking at an exhibit with Jane to spot a 
familiar face wandering through the museum.

Daria: Aunt Amy?????

Amy: Just Amy.

Daria: what are you doing here??

Amy: I was about to ask the same of you but I guess I'll go first. I managed 
to get the day off after the building where I work sprung a gas leak. So I was 
stuck at home and bored out of my skull so I figured I'd come here and check 
out their new exhibits.

Jane: So THIS is the infamous Amy you've been telling me so much about.

(Daria casts a fierce scowl at Jane that could have easily burned a hole clean 
through her.
(Amy just raises an eyebrow in interest. 


Amy: SOOO.. At any rate have you girls seen the exhibit at the end of this 
hall?

Daria: No why, is it the mummified remains of an ancient school teacher?

Jane:(smirking) undoubtedly killed when his students went berserk after to 
much homework.

Amy: Not quite, but you might like it Jane, it looks like a modern art 
sculpture but according to the plaque its over ten thousand years old. It 
actually looks kind of cool.

Daria and Jane: Ten thousand!!!

Daria : Wait but according to recorded history humans only go back for five 
thousand years. That doesn't make any sense. Are you sure you read the plaque 
right?

Amy: (in an irritated voice) I can read Daria.

Daria: ( sensing she has offended) sorry, I was just searching for a rational 
explanation.

Amy: it's cool. Anyway come see it.

(They get to the end of the hall and see the exhibit. It is a large metal ring 
standing upright about (thirty feet high. There are markings evenly spaced 
around the outside track. Fifteen feet in front (of the ring is what at first
glance appears to be a sundial with a red ball in the center. Upon closer 
(examination they see that the same markings they saw on the ring are engraved 
on keys around (the top of this thing.

Daria: what the freak is this thing it looks like a giant Egyptian donut?

Amy: uhhh..don't mention donuts I must have ate a whole box at breakfast.


Jane: (chuckles) Breakfast of champions eh?

Daria: ummm...okay so where did they find this thing ?

Amy: In Peru, somewhere around the old Aztec cities.

Jane: cool, maybe they used it as a giant Hula-Hoop.

(Daria looks at Jane with a smirk)

Jane: what?? Aztecs had fun once in a while to.

(Amy looks at Jane and begins to laugh).

Jane: WHAT!!?

(Daria and Amy regain their deadpan expressions and continue to examine the 
exhibit.)
 
Daria: This thing isn't supposed to be open to the public is it?

Amy: No, but they left the door open, my curiosity got the better of me, and 
well here we are. To be honest I don't think they are even finished 
researching this thing yet.

Jane: Feeling a touch sneaky today are we, or is it devious? I can never tell 
the difference.

Amy: damn straight.

(Outside some commotion can be heard. It sounded like a small army of combat 
boots along (with the aggravated voice of the museum director


Jane: You get the feeling we've been discovered Daria?

Daria : Or rescued from this field trip.

Mr. Pelias: DAMMIT COLONEL, you can't simply walk in here declare that you are 
going to confiscate something and simply walk out with it.

Colonel O'neal: YES, Mr. Pelias I can. (Pulls a set of official papers out of 
his jacket that have the presidential seal on them and hands them to Mr 
Pelias.)

Colonel O'neal: Mr. Pelias, This artifact as you call it poses a significant 
threat to national security and I am under direct orders from the president of 
the united states to confiscate It and ship it back to Cheyenne mountain for 
research and observation. now step aside.

MR.PELIAS: WHAT THE HELL KIND OF THREAT COULD THIS THING POSSIBLY POSE???

Colonel O'neal: Captain Carter, if you would be so kind.
(Captain Carter. raises her weapon and chambers a round)


Captain Carter: The use of deadly force has been authorized Mr. Pelias so move 
your ass.

(Mr. Pelias steps aside and O'neal and the rest of the SG-1 team walk into the
room at the end of the hall only to find Daria, Jane, and Amy checking out the 
gate themselves.)

O'neal: what are these people doing here? They don't look like they are part 
of the museum staff.

Pelias: I don't' Know I...they...

Daniel Jackson: My god Jack, they have this thing all hooked up.  Someone 
could have come through at any time.

Pelias: What the hell do you mean come through? Come through what from where?

O'neal: How the hell did you know how to assemble this thing.

Pelias: It was like that when we found it we just dismantled it for shipping 
and then reassembled it for shipping. We have been researching it for the past 
month and we still have no Idea what it is. Can you tell us?

O'neal: That's classified.


Daria: Does anyone want to tell US what's going on?? And what's with this ogre
with the gold tattoo on his forehead?

Jane: Leave the ogre alone Daria, the tattoo looks cool.

O'neal: .  Jackson,  Til'k  get started on dismantling this thing I want to 
have it on the truck within the hour.

(While O'neal is giving orders only Daniel Jackson has noticed that the 
STARGATE has begun to dial on its own)

Jackson: JACK...Off world activation of the STARGATE!!!!

Daria: What the hell is a STARGATE??

O'neal: SHUT UP..and get down. (Grabs Jane and daria by the arm and tosses 
them behind a marble sculpture. Amy has already ducked behind the gate control 
console.

Amy: (vo) somehow I seriously doubt this was the best place to hide.

Jackson: Did anyone beside me see this coming??

(Jane raises her hand from behind the statue)
Jane: I did.  It's things like this that usually manage to find their way into 
our day.

Daria: (Mona Lisa smile) This is true.

O'neal:(realizes that the gate has already locked chevron five) Shit, 
everybody chamber your weapons but hold your fire unless I give the order.

(Everyone cocks their weapons and Til"k snaps open his staff weapon)

Jane: Listen before you guys shoot the shit out of the giant donut can we get 
the hell out of here?

O'neal: stay right where you are.

Jackson: chevron seven is locked!!!(the STARGATE explodes into life emitting 
its signature water like light.

Jane:(peering out from behind the statue) COOOOOOOOOL!.....Daria you've got to 
see this.

Daria: (peering out from her side of the statue) I see it...what the hell is 
it?

Jane: Damned if I Know.  Wait, maybe it's a space age swimming pool.   Wish I 
had a video camera with me.


Daria: SOS  artist overboard.

Jane: I hate you
(Daria smirks at this)

(Moments pass until finally large lumbering figures covered in armor and with 
helmets shaped (like a snakes head begin to emerge from the STARGATE. Each 
figure carries a staff weapon exactly (like til'ks.
(Finally, a lone figure emerges from the gate and it closes behind him. He is 
not like the others. (His armor is gold and he does not wear a helmet.

O'neal: OHHH goodie, it's our old friend opoffice. (Shouts)Sorry about your 
ships but hey shit happens when you screw with humans.

Jane: Daria, do you think he means that figuratively or literally? 

(Opoffice eyes glow expensively displaying his anger at encountering these 
people every time
(he turns around.
(Suddenly Trent and Jesse enter the room

Trent: Hey Daria. Janie said you guys would be here this morning. Stops, looks 
around. Whoa what's going on?.

Jesse: Yea?

Carter: GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE FAST!!!!

(Opoffice snaps his head around to look at Trent and Jesse
(and points at them as if they were sg-1's reinforcements

Opoffice: JAFFA..CREE
(The Jaffa soldiers snap open their staff weapons and level them at Trent and 
Jesse

Trent and Jesse: HOLY SHIT!!!!!!

(Trent and Jesse take off running just before the Jaffa open fire and blow the 
door behind them to splinters.
(Another Jaffa sees Amy hiding behind the console, grabs her and pulls her out 
and shows her to Opoffice.

Amy: (struggling viciously) Let me go you overgrown hood ornament!
(Amy tries to bite the Jaffa's arm)

Opoffice: yes, very nice
( stuns her with that hand weapon of theirs and she goes limp)

 
Daria: Let Amy go you son of a bitch

Opoffice: (to the Jaffa soldiers) LO sheia cree chiappa-eye

(The Jaffa soldier holding Amy turns around to shield her, another walks to 
the console and (begins to dial out.

Til"k: (loudly) Let her go false god. You are a coward to hide behind a 
hostage. Stand and face us.
(The gate again explodes to life and opoffice accompanied by the one Jaffa 
carrying Amy (quickly duck through the gate before the gate closes behind them 
leaving five remaining Jaffa
(behind to deal with the humans. As soon as the gate closes the remaining 
Jaffa level their staff (weapons at sg-1 and begin to advance toward them.

Daria: Jane, do you ever get the feeling your screwed

Jane: only around Jesse.

Daria: THAT I did not need to know.

O'neal: Okay people drop them
(Upon hearing this Daria reaches into her boot and pulls out a 9mm bareta)

Daria: I knew I would end up needing this thing some day.

Jane: where the hell did you get that thing?

Daria: Found it in the trash at my old school in highland...It's amazing what 
drug dealers will throw away.  

(Automatic weapons fire erupts in the room and as usual most of the bullets 
bounce off the (Jaffa's armor. after about fifteen seconds of continuos fire 
one of the Jaffa finally drops.
(Til'k levels his staff weapon at a second Jaffa and fires blowing a hole 
right through him.
(The remaining three Jaffa level their weapons at the statue Jane and daria 
are hiding behind.

Daria: HOLY CHRIST

Jane:(grabs daria by the jacket and pulls her out of there) Must run.!!!!!!!

(The three Jaffa fire simultaneously and send the statue exploding into 
splinters of smoldering (rock.
(The three Jaffa turn their attention back to sg-1 only to see TIL'K level 
another Jaffa.

O'neal: two to go

(two gunshots are heard and then silence. Sg-1 in complete surprise looks up 
to see the remaining two Jaffa dead. Apparently shot clean through the Heart 
and Daria standing five feet away from them holding a smoking bareta.

Daria: GODDAMN I love armor piercing rounds!!!

O'neal: (looks at Carter) Kay, check that...coast is clear.

Jane: I have GOT to get myself one of those.

(Trent and Jesse come walking out of the shadows)
Trent: Is it over? What the hell are those guys and what did they want anyway?

Jesse: Yea what the hell just happened?

(Daria snaps back to reality)
Daria : dammit they've got Amy! You, Umm....  army guy,  where did they take 
her and why?


Jane: Yea.. man start talking.

O'neal: The name is colonel Jack O'neal and we will tell you what you need to 
know later but for now you will all need to come with us. Don't worry we'll 
get her back
TIL'K,  Jackson I need you to dismantle that thing as quickly as possible 
before someone else tries to come through. Carter and I will escort these four 
to the truck.

Trent: (as he is being escorted out) This is bullshit!!!!

Jesse: YEA!!!

END SCENE 1

BEGIN SCENE 2

(Sublevel 27 conference room , inside Cheyenne mountain)
(Daria, Jane, Trent and Jesse are seated at a large conference table.)

Jane: well, now we Know where all our tax dollars go

Daria: yea, they get sucked through a metal ring called the STARGATE and get 
abducted by snake people .

Jane: okay, actually I was thinking They get wasted on this hole of a facility 
and the bureaucracy within but I guess that was close enough.(gives Trent a 
are you going to help me or what look)


Trent:(realizes he has missed his cue) Don't worry love, well get her back.

Daria: (perks her head up) what was that?
.
 Trent: Alive....well get her back alive.

Daria: oh. I hope so.

(Jane just rolls her eyes at Trent who is blushing at his slip of the tongue.)
(Daria puts her head down in her arms and sighs)
(Jane inaudibly mouths the words "are you going to tell her or what" while 
looking at Trent)
(Trent scowls and mouths the words not now dammit)

(Enter sg-1 accompanied by General Hammond)
(all take a seat)

General Hammond: Okay people I realize that you have already met our sg-1 team 
but for the sake of formality I will introduce them to you and explain the 
situation. Here goes, Over here we have Captain Samantha Carter, next to her 
is Dr. Daniel Jackson, across from him is TIL'K, and of coarse leaves colonel 
Jack O"Neil the head of the sg-1 team. Any questions?

Jane: Yea, I have one.  TIL'K what the freak are you?

Til"k: (deadpan voice) I am a Jaffa
(TIL'K explains what a Jaffa is, who the goa'uld are, and how he came to be 
with sg-1)

Daria: So you have one of those things inside you?

TIL'K: That is correct.

Daria: Can I see it?
(TIL'K stands up pulls his shirt up and shows her)

Daria: ughhh

Jane,  Jesse, Trent: WHOA!!!!!!!
(Til"k explains how infant goa'uld incubate inside a Jaffa until they are old 
enough to take a host.)

Hammond: Okay people that's enough show and tell lets get down to bushiness.. 
Fortunately Dr. Jackson was able to see where they took your aunt.

Trent: So.... where the hell did they take here?

TIL'K: It was not to chulag. That is for certain.

Trent: Well thank Mr. Freaking Spock, where did they take her?

Jackson: They took her to planet ps319alpha

Daria:(deadpan voice) say that three times fast.
(Jane,Trent,and Jesse all chuckle)

Jesse: so...what kind of planet is that?

Carter: were not sure but we believe it to be a new base for opoffice to rule 
from.
(Carter explains about chulag and what opoffice would want with Amy)

Trent: So when do we leave to go get her?

Hammond: SG-1 will be leaving within the hour. You however will be staying 
here.

Daria: MY ASS!!!  I'm going with you and I'm going to kill that bastard 
myself.

Hammond: Look I am not about to let a bunch of teenagers go traipsing off to 
some god forsaken world to die. You have no Idea what you're going up against.
(TIL'K interrupts)

TIL'K: General, colonel O'neal May I speak with you.
(They exit to the hallway for fifteen minutes and then return to the
conference room.)

Hammond: TIL'K has explained to me how you handled the goa'uld at the museum, 
and after siting a few other examples such as modern high schoolers being able 
to handle high tech weaponry, and then the circumstance of Dr. Jackson, I have 
reluctantly agreed to allow you to join the team on this mission, but make no 
mistake Colonel O'neal will be in charge. You follow his orders or you don't 
go. Got it?

Darians in unison: you got it chuckles.

Hammond:(grimaces at his new nickname)sg-1 will brief and equip you. Heed my 
warning though, If any of you breath a word of this to anyone...
(Hammond is cut off by daria)

Daria: yes, yes, we all saw that one coming a mile away. You'll find us no 
matter where we are and make us disappear.

Jane: BUT.. Not before you drag any information out of us using advanced 
tickle torture.

(Everyone in the room gives Jane a bizzare look)

Hammond: (rolls his eyes) Teenagers.  What is this military coming to? 

END SCENE 2



BEGIN SCENE 3

(Enter the STARGATE holding area.. The STARGATE is seen idling in the 
background.)
(Teams SG-3, and SG-12 are waiting for them)
(The Darians enter accompanied by sg-1 and stand about twenty five feet from 
the STARGATE wearing all their gear)
(TIL'K walks up with a hand truck loaded with a variety of weapons. He begins 
to issue them to the darians.)

TIL'K: (deadpan voice) Trent Lane.(Picks up a submachine gun and a semi auto 
pistol along with several clips of armor piercing ammo and hands them to 
Trent)

Trent: That's the name don't wear it out. (No reaction from TIL'K)

TIL'K: Jesse Moreno

 Jesse: yo bud.

(TIL'K issues him a sub machine gun, a semiauto pistol, the corresponding ammo 
and a stinger missile which he straps to Jesse's pack)

(Til"k issues the same assortment of weapons to Jane)
(TIL'K steps over to Daria but instead of the usual weapons the others 
received he issues her a semiauto pistol with armor piercing ammo and a staff 
weapon which he shows her how to use.)

(TIL'K walks back to stand with sg-1 )

O'neal: TIL'K why did you hand Daria a staff weapon? Typically you're the only 
one who uses those.

TIL'K: It will give her a better chance of survival against the Goa'uld.

Carter: Better chance of survival???.......Oh my god you like here don't you.

TIL'K: She reminds me of my wife..strong willed and never afraid to speak her 
mind.

Carter: Have you thought about telling her?

Til"k: It would not be prudent. Leave it at that.

Carter: okaaay then.

(O'neal signals that they are ready to go)
(the computer technicians initiate the dial out sequence and the STARGATE 
comes to life.)

Daria: Soooo..colonel what will this feel like?

O'neal: Take it this way I hope you didn't eat a big breakfast.

Jesse: Don't mention food, I'm still hungry.

Carter: with everything you ate a couple of hours ago? Boy, that's not a 
stomach you've
got. It's a bottomless pit.

Jane: you haven't seen him eat at home.

Jesse:(elbows Jane) Hey!
(Daria and Trent chuckle.)

Jane: we're ready to enter the donut colonel.

O'neal: okay here we go. HEY, no stalling.   (shoves the Darians through the 
gate and then SG-1  follows)

END SCENE 3 :

BEGIN SCENE 4:
( The Darians emerge from the other end of the STARGATE tumbling head over 
heals. SG-1 emerges on the half step with no problems.)    
(There is nobody insight of the gate)

Carter: Guess they don't have their gate legs yet.
(TIL'K gives her a "say what"??  look)

(The darians are attempting to get up but the are all shivering as if they are 
freezing to death)

TIL'K: It is best if you move about. It will pass soon

(Daria walks slowly over to TIL'K places her hand on his shoulder for a few
seconds as if for support then lowers her head quickly and vomits.)

Jane: well, something sure passed.

Trent:(chuckles) good one Janie.  (Looks at Daria) You okay?

Daria: Peachy. Umm...sorry about your boots.


(TIL'K sighs heavily and walks toward the other members of SG-1)

Jane: looks like you made a lasting impression.

Daria: (scowls) If we run into trouble remind me to use you as a shield.

O'neal: okay people that's enough, by the look of these tracks it looks like 
they took her to the south.

Trent: How can you tell that these are the people who actually took her?

TIL'K: Look at the tracks . One of the foot prints is staggering as if the 
person where carrying something that was resisting heavily.

Jesse: Ladies and gentlemen, sherlock TIL'K

TIL'K: (looks at Carter) What is a sherlock?

Carter: we'll tell you later. Colonel, these tracks are awfully well defined. 
You would think they wanted us to know where they went.
Jackson: I'm no tracker but I have to agree with Carter.

O'neal: Your probably right but since we don't know the lay of the land or 
where they could possibly be taking her, I think following the tracks is our 
best bet for now.

TIL'K: I concur. 
 
(O'neal turns to face the other two teams and begins to issue orders.)

O'neal: Okay, listen up. Everyone set your radios to frequency CHARLIE-mike 
and set your message encoder. SG-12 will stay here to  guard the gate and set 
up defenses in case we need to make a hasty retreat. SG-3 you will be our 
backup. If we don't radio in within three hours tune into Carter's iris 
control transponder and come find our ass's.  Everybody got that?

(Everyone responds in unison) yes sir!

(SG-1 departs down what looks like a dirt road)
(After walking for about an hour they stop for a minute)

Jesse: does anybody hear that?
(Everyone listens and hear people talking in ancient Egyptian)

Jesse: What language is that? It sounds like their constipated or something.

Jane: Dammit keep your voice down, it sounds like their over there.

(They walk through a thick grove of tree's to a clearing with a stone building 
in the center)
(Outside Amy is seen bound and gagged while two Jaffa stand nearby.)
(SG-1 crouches down and begins to speak in hushed tones.)

Carter: colonel this makes no sense, the last few times the Gould kidnaped 
someone they tried to make hosts out of them and even the ones that were 
rejected were pretty well guarded.
I mean she's out in the open with only two guards.

Daria: Does anyone besides me smell a ....(sound of staff weapons snapping 
open comes from behind)...trap.

Jane: Just had to open your mouth didn't you.

Daria: At least I saw it coming!

Jane: yea.. At the last minute you glory hound.

Daria: doushbag!

Jaffa: (yells in English) silence or you die!!!

(Daria gives a get ready look to Jane)
(Daria swings around snaps open her staff weapon and fires several shots at 
the feet of the Jaffa effectively staggering them. Then while they are blinded 
she takes off running back into the grove)
(the Jaffa recover and quickly knock the other team members to the ground, tie 
them up and place them in line with Amy. By this time she has succeeded in 
working the gag out of her mouth.)

Amy: (sarcastically) so are we having fun yet? 

O'neal: Oh god another cynic, just kill us already.

Amy: I take it you met Daria and Jane.
(TIL'K smiles at this, so does Amy)(sort of)

(Amy leans forward to look at Jane)

Amy: hi Jane, thanks for coming after my ass and getting yourselves captured.

Jane: Hey any time, we do this kind of stuff for kicks.

Amy: So what happened with that scuffle over there, all I could see was you 
guys taking a beating.


O'neal: Your niece deserted us.

TIL'K: (in defense of Daria) colonel do you not smell the filth which you are 
shoveling, she ran to get help.

O'neal: she could have gotten us all killed, she should have waited for SG-3 
to come after us.

Amy: Oh I think they mean to kill us before that happens. Look over there.

(Shows Opoffice entering the clearing)

Jackson: so all they wanted you for is BAIT!

Amy: very good Einstein. You go to the head of the class.

(Meanwhile Daria has been talking to SG-3 on the radio to send the 
reinforcements.)

(Pan back to SG-1)
(Opoffice orders the team to be moved in front of the base of a large hill, it 
is clear they are to be executed.)

Trent: Wait! Don't we get a last request or something. (The Jaffa snaps open 
his staff weapon and moves it slowly from side to side as if trying to decide 
whom to kill first.)
Jesse: guess not.

(Without warning automatic weapons fire erupts from above and behind them 
killing that Jaffa
and the two guarding opoffice. Daria levels her staff weapon at opoffice and 
fires but he has already erected an energy shield around himself.) Daria 
proceeds down the hill and begins to untie everyone. Strangely opoffice stands
idle with his eyes glowing periodically.)
 
Daria: daria to the rescue as usual

Jane: (impersonated voice of scarlett o'harra) Our hero!

Daria: yea,yea,yea. Hold still already.

(After untying everyone, they all reclaim their weapons. Daria again levels 
her staff weapon at opoffice but this time he raises his hand and uses that 
palm weapon to send her flying about thirty feet.)

Daria: (grunting) THAT........HURT

(Opoffice raises his hand again but O'neal remembers the last time this 
happened and quickly grabs his knife and tosses it through opoffice's palm 
disabling the shield and the weapon.


(Opoffice looks like he is about to drop a load in his armor.)

Carter: He's all yours Daria

Daria: no, I believe Amy should definitely have this honor.
(Picks up one of the dead Jaffa's weapons and tosses it to Amy)

Daria: Know how to work it.

Amy: I've seen it done enough times.
(Snaps open the staff weapon and fires it hitting opoffice square in the 
head.. His body falls to the ground.)
(Amy with TIL'K along side walk over to the body. Amy looks at it and then 
begins to kick and swear at it furiously. She stops and leans down to yell at 
the body.)

Amy: How's it feel asshole.

(While she is doing this the goa'uld that is opoffice appears from the body's 
mouth and lunges at Amy, fortunately TIL'K was expecting this and caught the 
little bugger and killed it.)

TIL'K: You almost became a host Amy.

(Amy stands there looking pale over what almost happened.. Suddenly multiple 
shots fly past them. In  the distance what looks like every Jaffa on the 
planet can be seen running toward them .)

Trent: no wonder he was so calm he was expecting company any minute!

O'neal: forget your goodbye's already, everybody fall back to the STARGATE and 
feel free to shoot as many of them as you can.

Jane: running I can do.

Amy: dammit, I knew I should have taken gym class seriously.

(Everybody fires a volley at the approaching Jaffa before turning and running.

Jackson: did we hit any of them?

Amy: I don't know, I didn't stop to ask.
(Shots are continuing to fly past them.)

(As they are running, one Jaffa almost catches up with Trent when he suddenly 
stops, whips around and emptied a clip into the Jaffa. He then continues to 
run while attempting to replace the clip.)

(Daria and TIL'K are running at the back of the group now occasionally laying 
down cover fire.
TIL'K who is thirty feet in front of daria suddenly stops, swivels around, 
drops to one knee and from darias pov appears to be leveling his weapon at 
her.
She skids to a stop)

Daria: (yelling) NO, TIL"K WAIT

(TIL'K fires. The shot flies straight between her legs  nailing the Jaffa 
behind her dead in the groin. The Jaffa falls to the ground, while TIL'K leaps 
past daria and finishes the Jaffa off.
The both of them resume running occasionally turning to fire.)

Daria: Thanks TIL'K but next time FREAKING WARN ME FIRST!!!

(SG-1 and SG-3 return to the STARGATE with the Jaffa hot on their heels.
As soon as the two teams pass the perimeter SG-12 begins to lay down cover 
fire. )

O'neal: (yells) Jackson dial us home!!

(Daniel begins to dial out, but as he does so a glider appears from seemingly 
no where and begins to make strafing runs.)

Amy: gee, you'd actually think they were pissed at us.

Carter: you think?  We only Just killed their deity.
Amy: I was being sarcastic, you don't have to take it literally.

(The glider strafes again)

O'neal: This is wearing thin, Jesse hand me that missile your carrying.
(Jesse hands it to him)
(O'neal snaps it onto the pistol grip and inserts the battery)
(when the glider begins it's next run O'neal locks onto it and fires but it is 
just out of range and the missile falls short.)

O'neal: shit, everybody duck.
(The glider fires and circles around for another run)
( in the meantime the Jaffa have reached the perimeter of the Stonehenge type 
structures at which point SG-12 begins to set off claymores. Suddenly the 
STARGATE opens and Carter begins to send the iris control code.)

O'neal: okay people lets go home. SG-3 your first. ( they begin to go through)

Til"k: the glider is closing in for another run.

Daria: this guy is seriously beginning to piss me off.

(Daria snatches the other stinger off Janes back readies it, locks up the 
glider, waits until the glider is almost on them and fires. The missile flies 
off and knocks the glider out of the sky.

Daria: now that's how it's done
(she drops the empty tube)

Jane: You have to show me where your learning to do all this.

Daria: My dad still has all his instruction manuals from when he went to 
military school.

Jane: and you red all of them, why?

Daria: remember after that thing with family court and I was penned up in the 
house for a month bored out of my skull.

Jane : Damn, you must have been bored.

O'neal: okay SG-12 go through we'll cover you.
(Sg-1 takes up positions and begins firing. Amy with her new found staff
weapon doesn't even bother to aim, she just shoots everything in front of her 
that moves.)

(Trent while firing is hit in the shoulder and falls to the ground)
(Daria and Jane begin running toward him)
Daria and Jane: (yell) TRENT!!

O'neal: SG-12 is through everybody else fall back through the STARGATE now.

(TIL'K shoots the Jaffa about to finish off Trent. He then picks Trent up and 
carries him through the STARGATE followed by the rest of the team and then a 
few Jaffa)

(After the team arrives through the STARGATE )

Carter: (yells) CLOSE THE GODDAMN IRIS!!!
(the iris closes behind her and the thumps of the Jaffa following them are 
heard. Finally the STARGATE shuts down.)
( a medical team comes in bandages up Trent's shoulder and carts him off to 
the infirmary)
( The team gets cleaned up and is debriefed by general Hammond. After the 
debriefing Trent rejoin's the group and is addressed by General Hammond.)


( at the entrance to the mountain)

Hammond: Before all of you return home I would remind you once again the 
constraints you are under.


Amy : we saw nothing, we heard nothing, we remember nothing. We got the 
picture.

Hammond: good.

(Daria turns to Trent)

Daria: How's the arm Trent?

Trent: shoulder actually..it's okay, the doc. Says it's only a flesh wound and 
I can take the bandages off in about a week.

Daria: cool, Guess it's a good thing that your parents are out of town.

Trent: yea, mom would flip.

Jane: or throw her old pottery at you.
( Trent snaps her a look that screams do you mind)

Jane: (looks at Trent for a moment) I see.
( Jane walks away with a smile on her face)

Amy: what's with those two?

Jane: I'm waiting to see myself, but for now lets give them a few minutes of 
space.

(Return to shot of Daria and Trent)

Daria: what was that about?

Trent: who knows.(smiles) Anyway I'm Glad we got Amy back.

Daria: I don't think I'd be able to explain to my mom how her sister was 
abducted by snake people.

(Both stop talking for a moment and just look at each other.)
(In the background SG-1 looks on)

Jackson: so what's up with them?

TIL'K: do you not see it in their eyes?

Jackson: see what?

TIL'K: they are tak sho'
(everyone looks at Jackson waiting for a translation)

Jackson: soulmates

O'neal : TIL'K how can you tell something like that?

TIL'K: before we left on this mission I saw it in their eyes as I was issuing 
the weapons.

Carter: Okay,  well that's enough romance for me let's go back inside before I 
puke.
(Return to shot of Daria and Trent)

Trent: Listen Daria, there's something I'VE wanted to talk to you about for a 
long time and it seems that every time I try, something weird happens. This 
little adventure is a pretty good example. I'm not sure I can tell you, I'm
afraid something else will happen.

Daria: (thinks for a second) Okay is there a way to show me what you wanted to 
talk about?(not realizing how that sounded)

Trent: (looks confused for a second) Ah the hell with it.(quickly leans 
forward and kisses her)

Daria: (looks startled at first, her face turns a beat red. Then she calms 
down a little)
Oh my god, I never thought you felt that way, I always thought you were 
oblivious to me.

Trent: I was at first, until we went to alternapalooza and the tank broke 
down.

Daria : I remember, we were stuck on the side of the road for hours.

Trent: Yea, It was one of the best days of my life. I saw things in you that I 
had never seen in any of the other women I've met in my life.

Daria: (blushing heavily) really

Trent: seriously, I dream about you almost constantly now. How about you?

Daria: (pauses to think) well there was one time this Past July . In that 
dreamed you said I was your muse.

Trent: (looks astounded) You........heard that?

Daria: What?

Trent : I was writing a song that month and something you had said to me had 
inspired me and I actually remember saying out loud to myself Daria you're my 
muse.

Daria: Now that's messed up.

Trent: yea, isn't it great.

Daria: but not as great as this. (Kisses Trent)

(Voice from behind)

Jane: I hate to interrupt you two love birds but our ride is getting 
impatient.
(Daria walks to the car)
(Jane smiles at Trent)
(all get in the car)

Jane: have fun?

Trent: you'll never know.

Jane: ooh la la

Jesse: Hey Daria, what did you say to that TIL'K guy after the debriefing?

Daria: I asked if I could get one of those staff weapons. I'd love to turn it 
on Quinn's room.

Trent: what did he say?

Daria: he said he doubted it would be possible
( the staff car leaves the base and begins to drive them all home)

Jane: (looks at Amy) Amy, are you okay, you've been pretty quiet.

Amy: I'm okay, I'm just real tired. Thanks for coming after me.

darians's in unison: no problem.

(The staff car drives to each of their houses and drops them off. Daria is 
finally the last to be dropped off)

(Daria enters the front door of her house only to be seized by her mother and 
hugged vigorously.)

Helen: THANK GOD YOUR HOME. I was going out of my mind. First there was a 
broadcast on t.v. about a terrorist incident at the museum and then you don't 
come home for two days. Where the hell where you?

Daria: (thinks quickly) Um... I was held over to give a deposition of what 
happened..

Helen: for that long?

Daria: well there where a lot of people and I was the last one they got to.


Helen: you would think they would at least let you call home to say your all 
right?

Daria: (to herself) if I were actually in the vicinity of a phone, maybe.
(Outloud) um....I'm kind of tired. I think I'll head off to bed. 

Jake: sleep well kiddo.

Helen: Jake for gods sake I'm trying to get some information here.
(Daria heads upstairs while Jake and Helen are arguing) 

(Next morning)

Jake: hey kiddo, a Package came for you.

Daria: a package?

(Jake hands a  long package to daria)
(daria opens it and reads a note reading " It has been an honor to serve with 
you")

Daria: dad, did you see who dropped this off?

Jake: yea, big dude with a weird tattoo on his forehead.. So Daria what is
that? It looks like a  walking stick.

Daria: um.. Yea, um...  pretty cool huh?
 (Daria takes it up to her room)

Daria: ( now in her room  snaps open the staff weapon) definitely a cool
walking stick.
(Daria gives her signature Mona Lisa smile)

Roll ending credits.........

You shook me all night long by ac/dc is heard in the background

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