The Man Called Kolchak

 
JorGGirrrl: 
"What do you MEAN it's not a good DeNiro? How 'bout a mole. Would that help?" 
 
Hippie: 
Kolchak holds on to a "package" for his friend Billchak and unwittingly becomes part of the Snuggles kidnapping. 
 
Occupant: 
I'd like a cheeseburger, curly fries and a large Mr. Pibb. 
 
Hippie: 
This could be a hard situation for anyone to get by--anyone who WASN'T Kolchak, and who DIDN'T have a duck costume! 
 
bosko: 
Looks like Kolchak got stuck in the wood chipper again 
 
Jazzsoda: 
I'll be damned. It just leads to a wall. How does that Kolchak keep losing us like this?? 
 
Hippie: 
Kolchak's arch-enemy the Plaid Man. 
 
Jazzsoda: 
"Last one in the pool's a Rotten Eggstalker!!" 
 
Hippie: 
Kolchak writes his own theme song to the tune of "Love Shack": "The Kol-chak is groovy old dude who... digs... fun-ny hats!" 
 
Jazzsoda: 
High on corrective fluid, Kolchak feels around inside the megaphone for hours in search of his crackerjack prize. 
 
Hippie: 
Wait... that bump on the head did something! It's all coming back to me now! My name isn't Kolchak--it's Huckleberry Finn! 
 
Hippie: 
T-K-O! Turbo, Kolchak, Ozone. Peace, we outta here. 
 
AgentQ: 
Kolchak walks in on Julie Hagerty trying to inflate the automatic pilot. 
 
Jazzsoda: 
You're just in time, Kolchak! Me and some girlfriends are about to demonstrate some amazing new vacuum technology. Watch where you step! 
 
Hippie: 
Do we like manly love? Who doesn't? *stomp* OW! 
 
Occupant: 
No, sir. "We're looking for a few good men" is the marines. This is the Navy. You mean "Hello, sailor." 
 
Hippie: 
So what's in the guitar case, mariarchi? 
 
TravisBickle: 
Let's see, those plastic explosives are in here somewhere! Doh, my fetish mags! How embarassing! And in front of Ma's Parking, too! 
 
rogeemoto: 
How come I never gets to stalk nobody? 
 
Hippie: 
Later, alone, in the privacy of his garage, Kolchak recreates the ticketing scene, giving the cop a phoney Irish accent and making himself MUCH brasher... 
 
bosko: 
It just occured to me, Who takes the day shift for Kolchak as the Daystalker? 
 
Hippie: 
This is Kolchak's Notes, Number 634: Alone... braving a dark tunnel with no hope of--HAT ON FIRE!!! HAT ON FIRE!!! HAT ON FIRE!!! 
 
Hippie: 
Kolchak's *pretty sure* he can do that "scratching" thing, but would hate to mess up his favorite Chicago album 
 
Hippie: 
Dear MTV... If I won a dream date with Courteny Love, she would have a lot of fun. I'd take her to Rally's and we'd see "Anaconda" at the $1 theater... 
  
Jazzsoda: 
Really good sculpture always makes Kolchak's heart go pitter-pat. 
 
GuloGulo: 
"You wound me, sir! I wish to procure this kind bud to ease my sainted mother's glaucoma! Now hand it over, and don't pain me with your insinuations!" 
 
Artanas: 
In a moment of pure insanity, Carl attempts to insert an oven thermometer into Frank Perdues neck. 
 
Artanas: 
"Bad Carl, bad Carl, whatcha gunna do when they come for you" 
Return to Hippie's Caption This Gallery 
1