Ballykissangel Episode 4.3
Scene: Int. Day.
Fitzgerald’s. Peter and Assumpta are sitting at the kitchen
table, sharing a pot of tea and conferring with the pub diary.
Peter: What about
the 24th?
Assumpta: Can’t. There’s
a whole load booked into rooms
upstairs.
Peter: 31st?
Assumpta: No. Fundraiser.
Peter: Why do
I get the feeling this just isn’t going to
happen?
Assumpta: It will... if we can
just find a date when we haven’t
already got other things on.
Peter suddenly points at the window.
Peter: Look!
Assumpta: What?
Peter: A flying
pig!
Assumpta gives him a sarcastic look and goes back to studying the
diary.
ROLL TITLES
Scene: Ext. Day.
A road somewhere around Cildargan.
A young man gets out of a car and thanks the driver. He then
walks round to the boot and removes a large white box and puts
it on a trolley. He stands by the side of the road as the car
pulls away.
CUT TO:
Scene: Ext. Day.
Siobhan is driving home with Brendan and Aisling in the passenger
seat. There is an uncomfortable atmosphere between them.
Brendan waves as Peter, driving Assumpta’s van, passes in the
opposite direction.
CUT TO:
Scene: Ext. Day.
Peter finishes loading boxes of Taytos into the back of the van.
He gets in and starts back along the road to Ballykissangel.
As he drives, the sky clouds over and it starts to rain. (The
scene is very similar to that in the first episode when Assumpta
gives Peter a lift) Peter spots a the young man, hitching by
the side of the road and pulls over.
Peter: Where to?
Tony: Erm,
Bally....
Peter: ...kissangel?
Tony: That’s
the one.
Peter: Jump in.
Tony: I
can I stick this in the back?
He points at the large white box at his feet.
Peter: Er, yeah, sure.
Tony goes round to the back of the van and puts the box in.
Peter turns round in his seat and notices and handle on the top
left hand corner of the box. The box is covered in signatures
and has a sign on the front on it: ‘Mo Chuisneoir’*. Tony gets
into the van and shuts the door.
Peter: Em, is
that a...
Tony: A
fridge? Yeah.
Peter: Dare I
ask why?
Tony: It’s
a bet. A drunken bet. I have to travel round
Ireland with this thing. I’m on the home straight,
so I thought I’d stay in town for a few days.
Anywhere you could recommend?
Peter: Yeah,
Fitzgerald’s. We’ve got a room spare.
Tony: You
run it?
Peter: It’s Assumpta’s
- my fiancée.
Tony: Right.
What part of England are you from?
Peter: Tiny place,
up North. You wouldn’t know it. You?
Tony: Down
South. Wimbledon. Tiny place, just a couple of
tennis courts really.
Peter: ...and
the Wombles.
Peter smiles.
The car comes round the corner and across the bridge into the town.
CUT TO:
Scene: Int.
Day.
Fitzgerald’s.
Assumpta is preparing food in the kitchen with the radio on.
Peter walks in just ahead of Tony and the fridge. Assumpta
appears from the kitchen.
Assumpta: Hi.
She walks through to the bar to join them.
Peter: Hello.
I picked up a customer on the way. This
is...
Tony: Tony.
Hi.
Tony and Assumpta shake hands.
Peter: Just one
thing. Do we have room for one man and his
fridge?
Assumpta: What?
Tony: May
I introduce Saoirse*.
Tony pushes the fridge in front of him.
Assumpta: Ahem, right. (to
Peter) Where do you get them from?
(to Tony) Would you like a drink?
Tony: A
pint’d be great, thanks.
Assumpta goes round to the other side of the bar as Tony takes a
place on a bar stool with his fridge on the trolley next to him.
Assumpta: Ah, I have to change a
barrel, (to Peter) can I trust
you to look after the place?
Peter: Yes boss.
Assumpta goes into the cellar.
Tony: Have
you lived here for long?
Peter: Three
years. I used to be the priest.
Tony: Oh,
right.
Peter: Temptation
was too much, you know.
Tony nods.
Peter: So, how
much was the bet for?
Tony: £100.
Peter: Nice fridge.
Tony: Yeah...
it cost £130.
Peter laughs.
Peter: You’ll
get on well with Liam and Donal.
Tony: Sorry?
Peter: Nothing.
Assumpta emerges from the cellar and starts to pull a pint.
Assumpta: So what’s the story with
the fridge?
Tony: A
bet.
Assumpta suddenly make the connection and grins excitedly.
Assumpta: You’re the fridge man?
Peter: Sorry?
Assumpta: He’s been on the radio
for the last three weeks.
They’ve been following his progress. It’s a
brilliant idea.
Tony: Brilliant,
but sadly, mad.
Assumpta: Ah, everyone’s mad round
here.
Peter: Nothing
wrong with a bit of madness.
Assumpta: Yeah, he’s mad.
(indicating Peter)
Peter gives her a sarcastic smile as she passes the glasses over
the counter.
CUT TO:
Scene: Int. Day.
Siobhan’s house. She enters the hallway with Aisling in her car
seat. Brendan follows. He puts several bags down in the
hall
and goes into the kitchen.
Siobhan: Where are you going?
Brendan: Just thought you
might like a cup of tea.
Siobhan: I can manage.
We’ll be fine on our own.
There is a silence and Brendan takes the hint.
Brendan: I’ll be going then shall I?
Silence.
Brendan: Just let me know if you need anything.
Siobhan just nods and Brendan leaves.
CUT TO:
Scene: Int. Eve.
Fitzgerald’s. It is quiet in the bar and Assumpta, Peter and
Tony are having dinner in the kitchen. The fridge is parked next
to the table. Tony is passing round some of the photos he’s
taken on his travels.
Tony: I
thought they were just drunk. But they were
completely serious, they actually wanted to take the
fridge surfing! I had to turn down the offers of a
diving trip.
Assumpta: Well, I’m sure the regulars
will be able to find
something for it to do.
Peter: Yeah,
if it’s brilliant madness you’re looking for,
you’re in the right place.
Tony: How
did you end up here then?
Peter: Oh, worked
in Manchester for a few years, asked for a
transfer, worked up at St Joseph’s for a few years,
fell for this one (he indicates Assumpta) and that’s
it really. Not half as interesting as taking up an
insane bet.
Assumpta: Excuse me?!
Peter: I didn’t
mean... well you know what I meant.
The bar door opens and Brendan storms in, in a bad mood. Peter
gets up.
Peter: I’ll go.
He kisses the top of Assumpta’s head and goes through to the bar.
Peter: Evening Brendan. Usual?
Brendan nods.
Peter: I thought
you’d be at home with Aisling tonight.
Brendan: I would be.
If Siobhan’d let me.
Peter: How’d
you mean?
Brendan: I took her home
and she made it very clear I wasn’t
wanted.
Peter: Brendan,
that’s awful. Did she say why?
Brendan: Nothing. Not
a word.
Peter: (reasoning)
Maybe she just wants a bit of time on
her own to get used to having Aisling there.
Brendan: Or maybe she just
wants to cut me out altogether.
Peter: Or maybe
you two just need to talk.
Brendan considers this.
Brendan: Forget about the pint.
Brendan leaves and Peter goes back to the kitchen.
Assumpta: Another customer dealt
with? (she turns to Tony)
He’s BallyK’s resident counsellor, you know. (to
Peter) There’s just one problem.
Peter: What?
Assumpta: You sort their problems
out so fast they don’t have
time for a drink. Your dinner’s in the oven.
Peter goes back to the kitchen, just as Tony is getting up to
leave.
Tony: That
was wonderful, Assumpta. Thanks.
Assumpta: Ah, no problem.
Peter retrieves his dinner from the oven and sits back down
opposite Assumpta.
Peter: Interesting
journey.
Assumpta: Sorry?
Peter: Tony.
Assumpta: Hmm.
Peter: Are you
okay?
Assumpta: Yeah, just thinking.
Peter: Anything
I should know about?
Assumpta: D’you want to go back
to England?
Peter: What makes
you say that?
Assumpta: The way you and Tony
were talking earlier.
Peter: We’ve
been through all this. I want to stay with
you, wherever you are.
Assumpta: If we can ever set a
date for this wedding.
Peter: Yeah.
Quite sad really, isn’t it?
Assumpta: What?
Peter: That we
can’t find a window in the diary for our own
wedding.
Assumpta: We’ve still got to decide
how we’re actually going to
do this, I mean St Joseph’s is hardly an option, is
it?
Peter: Not with
Father O’Connell in charge it’s not, no.
Assumpta: Well, for once, that’s
not entirely his fault, is it?
Peter: You’re
not sticking up for him after all he said
about Siobhan and Brendan, are you?
Assumpta: No, I’m just saying that
no matter how much you
dislike him, it’s not his decision whether we get
married in a church or not.
Peter: You wouldn’t
want to anyway.
Assumpta: Depends what kind of
church.
Peter falls silent and they carry on with their dinner.
CUT TO:
Scene: Ext. Eve.
Outside St Joseph’s. Brendan is walking past just as Fr. Aidan
comes out.
Fr. Aidan: Ah, hello... Brendan, isn’t
it. How’s your friend’s
baby?
Brendan: My friend?
Fr. Aidan: Yes, Siobhan, isn’t it?
Brendan: She’s my baby too!
Fr. Aidan: Yes, of course. A bit
regrettable, really...
Brendan: What?! Now
listen, I don’t care what you think, but
my daughter’s not some kind of regrettable incident I
can just forget about. I’m not going to let that
happen.
Fr. Aidan: No, of course not, I just
meant...
Brendan: Save it for someone
who wants to listen, Father.
Brendan storms off in a worse mood that he was before, leaving
Fr. Aidan slightly shell-shocked.
CUT TO:
Scene: Int. Eve.
Siobhan’s house. Brendan stands outside, preparing himself.
He
hears Aisling crying. He decides this wouldn’t be the best time
to have it out with Siobhan and walks away.
CUT TO:
Scene: Int. Eve.
Fitzgerald’s. Tony is entertaining Liam, Donal and Padraig while
Assumpta and Peter are listening behind the bar. The fridge is
on the floor by Tony’s chair.
Liam: Can
I sign it?
Tony: Sure.
Just don’t sign over Mother Clare’s blessing.
Peter: Excuse
me?
Tony: Oh
yeah, it’s been blessed and everything.
Peter: You’re
kidding me.
Tony: No,
serious. Just after it was baptised with a
bottle of Babycham.
Padraig: What else has it
done?
Peter: She.
Padraig: Sorry, she.
Tony: She’s
met a King.
Padraig: Which one?
Tony: The
King of Tory Island.
Padraig: Fair enough.
Tony: ...
and she’s met about 50 Drunks in Residence.
Assumpta: What?
Tony: Drunks
in Residence. All pubs have one. It’s
something I’ve observed while I’ve been travelling
round. Who’s yours?
Assumpta, Peter, Liam and Donal:
Padraig!
Padraig: Thanks a lot.
Peter: We should
find something for her to do here.
Padraig: We should find something
for us to do here!
Assumpta: Like what?
Peter: Something
as mad as all that other stuff.
Assumpta: You can’t surf in the
Angel.
Peter: Do we
know anyone who does canoeing?
Assumpta: No.
Peter: Shame.
Liam: Has
she been hang-gliding?
Peter: You don’t
hang-glide.
Liam: I
know. Just a thought.
Donal’s mind is working overtime.
Donal: You should
take her up the Sugarloaf.
Tony: The
what?
Assumpta: It’s a mountain.
Padraig: Don’t be stupid,
Donal, he can’t get that thing up a
mountain.
Peter: Watch
it Padraig, Tony’s a dangerous man to bet with.
Padraig: No, we’ll help you
get it up there, if you want.
Tony: I
don’t know. A mountain?
Assumpta: More of a very big hill,
really.
Peter: It’d be
original.
Liam: It’d
be insanity.
Assumpta: You’re one to talk.
Peter: I think
we should do it. Just do something
spontaneous. We could make a big trip of it, you
know, a community thing.
Assumpta: It’s not a bad idea.
Peter: Thanks
Assumpta.
Tony: Okay,
let’s do it.
Brendan walks in again, still very upset about Siobhan. Peter
looks over and sees him, then goes over to join him.
Peter: Hiya.
Have you had a talk with Siobhan yet?
Brendan: It wasn’t a good
time.
Peter: The only
way you’re going to make things better is by
talking about it.
Brendan: Can’t you?
Peter: It’s not
my problem.
Brendan: You don’t care?
Peter: Of course
I care, I just think it’s you that needs to
talk to her.
Brendan: I just need to know
what she things before I try to
talk her round. Please, Peter.
Peter: Oh...
alright. Just don’t expect any miracles.
CUT TO:
Scene: Ext. Day.
Peter has just knocked on Siobhan’s door. She appears at the
door.
Siobhan: Am I in for a lecture?
Peter: No.
I could if you want me to, but no. It’s an
invitation actually.
Siobhan: I’m not really up
to parties at the moment.
Peter: It’s not
a party. It’s a chance to do something
completely spontaneous.
Siobhan: I think I’ve already
done that.
Peter: We’re
all going up the sugarloaf with a fridge.
Siobhan: What?
Peter: It’s a
long story and I’ve got loads of people to
invite. How’s Aisling?
Siobhan: Asleep... which
is rare.
Peter: Brendan
said...
Siobhan: I can imagine what
he said.
Peter: I don’t
think you can. He’s really hurt, Siobhan.
All he wants is to be able to see his daughter. I
think you two should talk.
Siobhan: Peter, no offence,
but...
Peter: I know
it’s none of my business, but you’re my
friends. I don’t like to see Brendan like that... or
you. You look tired. Brendan doesn’t expect to move
in with you or anything like that. Just let him
support you and Aisling... Anyway, if you fancy the
trip, we’re all meeting at Fitzgerald’s at 9
tomorrow.
Siobhan: Okay, I’ll see how
I feel.
Peter: Okay,
see you soon.
Peter leaves and Siobhan goes upstairs to check on Aisling.
CUT TO:
Scene: Int. Day.
Niamh and Ambrose’s. Niamh has just come off the phone and goes
into the office with Kieran.
Niamh: D’you fancy
a walk tomorrow?
Ambrose: A walk? Where?
Niamh: The Sugarloaf.
Assumpta and Peter are organising a
big walk. Everyone’s going. With a fridge.
Ambrose: A what?
Niamh: There’s
some mad hitchhiker who’s going round Ireland
with a fridge and they’re going to take it up the
Sugarloaf.
Ambrose: That’s a stupid
idea.
Niamh: No it’s
not. It’s fun, spontaneous. You used to be
spontaneous.
Ambrose: That was before
I had to work to support a wife and
baby.
Niamh: Ah, come
on. Take time off. It’ll be fun.
Ambrose: It won’t.
It’ll be cold, wet and boring.
Niamh: And you’d
rather be issuing parking tickets?
Ambrose: It’s my job, Niamh.
Niamh: So that’s
it, is it?
Ambrose: Yes.
Niamh: (to Kieran)
Let’s leave your boring old daddy to it,
shall we.
She slams the door behind her.
CUT TO:
Scene: Int. Eve.
Fitzgerald’s. Assumpta is rounding up more people for the fridge
walk. There are posters up on the wall which read: ‘The most
unique experience of your life - up the Sugarloaf with The Fridge
Man!” She’s on the phone to Niamh. Brian walks in and stands
by the bar.
Assumpta: Ah, come on...
Kieran won’t be a problem, we’ll all
help... It wouldn’t be the same without you. You’ll
come? What about Ambrose? Ah, well, okay. I’ll see
you tomorrow then. Okay, bye.
Brian: What’s
going on?
Assumpta: Ah, there’s this English
bloke who’s hitching round
Ireland with a fridge, for a bet.
Brian: Is that
the fella who’s been all over the radio for
the last few weeks?
Assumpta: That’s the one.
Brian: He’s here?
Assumpta: Yep. Peter gave
him a lift from Cildargan. He’s
staying here for a few days.
Brian: In this
place?
Assumpta: Yes. Problem?
Brian: Where
is he?
Assumpta points in the direction of a table, where Tony and a few
locals are discussing his adventure. Brian goes over and interrupts.
Brian: Excuse
me, are you the fridge man?
Tony: For
my sins... and you are?
Brian: (handing
over a business card) Brian Quigley,
Quigley Enterprises. I might be able to throw a few
doors open for you. Will you have a drink?
Tony: Em,
yeah, thanks, another pint, please.
Brian: Great,
let’s talk business.
Tony wasn’t aware they had any business to talk about, but he follows Brian to the bar.
Brian: Assumpta,
a pint and my usual, when you’re ready.
Assumpta: (to Tony) Don’t
let him talk you into anything.
Tony smiles and acknowledges Assumpta’s advice.
Brian: Don’t listen
to her. I have a very nice house out of
town. You’re welcome to stay with me... I have a
sauna.
Tony: Ah,
well, actually, I prefer staying in pubs... less
of a distance to stumble home after a night of Irish
hospitality.
Brian: In this
place, are you joking?
Tony: Honestly,
it’s fine.
Brian: Right.
Fair enough.
CUT TO:
Scene: Int. Eve.
Niamh and Ambrose’s house.
Niamh shuts Kieran’s bedroom door quietly and goes into the
kitchen, where Ambrose is making a cup of coffee.
Niamh: Why don’t
you come on this walk tomorrow?
Ambrose: We’ve been through
all this. I’m tired, I have a
mountain of paperwork to catch up on and I’m going to
have to stay up all night getting it done. The last
thing I need is to drag myself up a mountain tomorrow
morning.
Niamh: You’ve
got no sense of adventure, that’s the problem.
Ambrose: I have, I just also
have responsibilities. I have to
do this work. You’d be tired too if you did as much
work as this.
Niamh: Are you
suggesting I don’t have anything to do all
day?
Ambrose: No, I just...
Niamh: You have
no idea, do you?
Ambrose: I do. Look,
if you wanted someone who was going to
climb mountains with you and a fridge, why on earth
did you marry me?
Niamh: I’m beginning
to wonder. Look after your son.
Niamh walks out.
CUT TO:
Scene: Int. Eve.
Fitzgerald’s. Brian is still trying to talk Tony into some kind
of deal.
Brian: Well, I’m
sure I could find a few business deals I
could interest you in, sponsorship, ad campaigns...
Tony: I’m
not doing this as a publicity stunt.
Brian: No, I
realise that... It’s just that I have these
holiday homes I’m building which could do with a
story like yours to publicise them.
Tony: I’m
sorry, I really don’t think I can help you.
Assumpta’s overheard most of this and approaches, puts the drinks
on the bar and turns to Brian.
Assumpta: Leave him alone Brian.
You can’t talk everyone into
your little deals, you know.
Brian looks very put out, downs his whiskey and walks out, nearly
bumping into Peter who has just returned from Siobhan’s. He
watches Brian leave, then goes over to the bar and kisses
Assumpta.
Peter: What’s
going on?
Assumpta: Just Brian trying to
rope Tony in for a bit of
publicity.
Peter: Right.
Tony: I
think I’ll turn in for the night before I get roped
into the washing up.
Peter: Night.
Assumpta: Night Tony.
He gets up and goes upstairs.
Assumpta: How’d you get on?
Peter: Not too
bad. If she doesn’t turn up tomorrow, I’ll
go round again and drag her out.
Assumpta: The subtle approach?
Peter: That’s
the one. Has Brendan been back?
Assumpta: No, why?
Peter: Just wondered.
He wasn’t at his house.
Assumpta: Well, you can find him
in the morning. Let’s get rid
of this lot. I need some sleep if we’re going to do
this hike.
Peter walks through to the bar and rings the hand bell.
Peter: Time, ladies
and gentlemen... and don’t forget, meet
here at 9 tomorrow if you’re going to join us and
Tony the Fridge Man for the Sugarloaf walk.
People begin to leave and Peter starts clearing up. Just as
Assumpta is about to lock the doors, Niamh comes over, obviously
upset.
Peter: Niamh?
What’s the problem?
Niamh: Why do
you assume... does there have to be a problem
for me to be able to talk to Assumpta now?
Peter: No, I
just...
Assumpta: Niamh, come into the
kitchen.
Niamh: No, I
wouldn’t want to interrupt anything.
Assumpta: You’re not.
Niamh: No, it’s
okay. I’ll see you tomorrow.
Assumpta: Are you sure?
Niamh: Yeah,
really.
Assumpta: Okay.
Niamh leaves.
Assumpta: (to Peter) What
did you have to go and do that for?
Peter: What?
Assumpta: Be so insensitive.
Peter: Me?
Assumpta: She was upset.
Peter: I know,
that’s why I asked...
Assumpta: She didn’t come to talk
to you, she came to talk to
me. Just keep your nose out next time.
Peter: Sorry.
Assumpta: So you should be.
Assumpta storms out into the kitchen and leaves Peter standing at
the bar. He throws down a tea towel, unlocks the doors and
leaves.
CUT TO:
Scene: Ext. Eve.
Brendan’s house. One downstairs light is on. There is a
knock
at the door. Brendan opens it to find Peter standing by the
doorway.
Peter: Can I come
in?
Brendan: Sure.
CUT TO:
Scene: Int. Eve
Brendan’s kitchen. Brendan is making coffee for himself and
Peter. Peter is still obviously upset and Brendan seems
depressed too.
Brendan: What’s happened?
Peter: Huh?
Brendan: Assumpta excerpting
her authority again?
Peter barely nods.
Peter: I don’t
know. I thought it was going really well...
considering. We were getting on perfectly... then...
Brendan: What happened.
Peter: We had
a row.
Brendan: Yeah, well, I guessed
that much.
Brendan hands him a cup of coffee and they sit down at the
kitchen table.
Peter: She accused
me of being insensitive.
Brendan: You?!
Peter: Yeah,
I know... I thought she loved me.
Brendan: Just because you
have one row doesn’t mean it’s all
over. She does love you, but look at it from her
point of view.
Peter: How d’you
mean?
Brendan: She’s been on her
own in that pub for years and all
of a sudden she’s got you there as well, it’s bound
to take a bit of getting used to.
Peter: You think
I’m monopolising her time?
Brendan: You’re getting married,
you need to be together...
just let her have her space sometimes.
Peter considers this advice and changes the subject.
Peter: Are you
coming on this walk tomorrow?
Brendan: What walk?
Peter: You remember
Tony and his fridge?
Brendan: In the pub earlier?
Yeah.
Peter: We’re
taking him and the fridge up the Sugarloaf.
Everyone’s coming.
Brendan: Siobhan?
Peter: Maybe,
I don’t know.
Brendan: I don’t think that’s
such a good idea.
Peter: If she’s
there, Aisling’ll be there.
Brendan: She won’t want to
see me.
Peter: Maybe
she just needs time to think about how it’s
going to be.
Brendan: Space? D’you
think we should get her and Assumpta
together.
Peter: Just talk
to her, Brendan. She won’t be able to work
and look after Aisling on her own, not in her job.
She’ll need someone to look after her at least.
Brendan: So I’m a babysitter
now?
Peter: That’s
not what I mean.
Brendan: Sounds that way.
Peter: No, but
if you really want to see your daughter, you
might have to put up with whatever time you can get
with her, at least until Siobhan works out what she
wants.
Brendan: Why is this all
about what Siobhan wants? Why not me
for a change? I am her father.
Peter: Yeah but
Siobhan’s got the trump cards here. You
need to talk.
Brendan: Never thought I’d
see us sitting here talking about
our women problems.
Peter half-smiles and finishes his coffee.
Peter: I’d better
get back. You’ll think about tomorrow?
Brendan: I’ll think about
it.
Peter: Good.
Peter gets up to leave.
CUT TO:
Scene: Int. Eve.
Fitzgerald’s. Assumpta’s light is on, but Peter discovers that
the doors are locked.
Peter: Assumpta? Assumpta, let me in.
Kathleen is walking her dog and stops and stares at Peter. He
turns round, sees her and gives a halfhearted, embarrassed smile.
She walks on.
Peter: Assumpta!
Assumpta appears at the bedroom window.
Assumpta: What?
Peter: You’ve
locked the front doors.
Assumpta: Oh for heavens sake.
She closes the window and we hear her come downstairs and unlock
the door. Peter goes in and locks the doors behind him.
Assumpta starts back up the stairs again.
Peter: I’m sorry.
Assumpta pretends not to hear him.
Peter: I’m sorry
you haven’t had much time to yourself
recently, and I’m sorry I upset Niamh...
Assumpta: We’ll talk about it in
the morning.
Peter: Will you
at least tell me what I’ve done?
There is no answer. Assumpta goes back upstairs and Peter
collapses into the chair by the fire. He gazes around the room
for a while trying to work out what’s going wrong. He doesn’t
notice Tony coming down the stairs.
Tony: Problems?
Peter: Sorry,
did we wake you up?
Tony: No,
you’re alright. D’you want to talk about it?
Peter: I don’t
know... I spend all this time and effort
sorting out other people’s problems, then I can’t
figure out my own.
Tony: It’s
always like that.
Peter: Oh God,
I hope not. Everything was going so well.
Tony: You’ll
work it out... I would. Seems like perfection
to me - a beautiful woman, and you live in a pub.
Peter: I know,
what more could you ask for? Assumpta’s just
a bit on the fiery side sometimes.
Tony: I
assume you knew that before you got into this.
Peter: Yeah...
She was always so defensive, then there were
just a few times when I felt like I’d really got
close to her. A couple of times we ended up on our
own, in here, after closing and she’d open up and
talk about things I didn’t think she’d ever
even think about. She’d cut out all the sarcasm and
just say what she thought.
Tony: That’s
what made you fall for her?
Peter: How could
you not fall for her? ...oh, I’ve got to
stop feeling sorry for myself. I’ll sort it out
tomorrow. You’d better get some sleep. You’re going to
be the centre of attention tomorrow.
Tony: You
sure you’re okay?
Peter: Yeah,
fine. Thanks.
Tony goes back upstairs, while Peter stares at the fire for a
while longer.
FADE TO:
Scene: Ext. Day.
A huge number of people are waiting at the doors of Fitzgerald’s.
Padraig, Kevin and Niamh are among the crowd.
Most have their own cars, but the minibus is there too. Assumpta
and Peter come out of the pub, with Tony and the fridge behind
them. There are cheers from the crowd when they see the man and
his fridge. Peter puts Fionn in the back of the van and everyone
heads towards their cars. Peter looks around for Brendan, but
can’t see him. Siobhan has turned up, in the Land Rover, with
Aisling in the car seat. Peter goes over to her.
Peter: Nice to
see you Siobhan.
Siobhan: Well, I still have
to get out.
Peter smiles and goes back to the van.
The cars start off, the minibus last. Just as the minibus starts
over the bridge, Brendan comes running down the hill and takes
the last seat in the minibus.
CUT TO:
Scene: Ext. Day.
As the convoy of cars makes it’s way through the county, we see a
montage of the scenery they pass on the way.
CUT TO:
Scene: Ext. Day.
Assumpta’s van. Total cold silence. Peter stares out of
the
window at the passing scenery.
CUT TO:
Scene: Ext. Day.
Another montage, as the cars approach the bottom of the
Sugarloaf. Everyone gets out and Tony attaches the fridge to
the
trailer. Assumpta and Peter trail behind a bit, keeping an eye
on Siobhan and Brendan, who are at least speaking to each other,
which is more than can be said for Peter and Assumpta.
Brendan: I don’t expect to
move in with you or anything.
Siobhan: Glad to hear it.
Brendan: All I want is to
be able to see her whenever it’s
convenient.
Siobhan: It’s a tiring job,
being a Mum... I do need some
help.
Brendan: So let me help.
Siobhan: I don’t want to
be dependent on you.
Brendan: You won’t be.
I just want to look after her every so
often, just have contact with her.
Siobhan: And I don’t want
you letting me down. I don’t want
you losing interest.
Brendan: I won’t. This
is my daughter we’re talking about,
not some new hobby.
Siobhan: Okay. Whenever
you like, just... I need my own
space.
Brendan: I’ll leave when
you tell me to.
Peter has dropped back from the main crowd and is watching
Assumpta as she talks to Niamh
Assumpta: So, he had work to do,
what's the problem?
Niamh: It's not
just that... He's become so boring.
Assumpta: Ambrose was always
boring.
Niamh: Assumpta!
Assumpta: Okay, sorry.
Niamh: I just
want him to be a bit more spontaneous, like he
was when we first started going out.
Assumpta: You can't teach him to
be spontaneous.
Niamh: He says
he has other responsibilities.
Assumpta: He does. He's got
Kieran to think about now.
Niamh: What about
me?
Assumpta: You've got other responsibilities
too.
Niamh: Are you
saying I'm boring?
Assumpta: No, of course not.
I'm just saying things have moved
on since you two first started seeing each other.
You're bound to have changed.
Niamh: We're
different people.
Assumpta: Niamh, don't say that.
Niamh: It's true.
Ambrose runs up the mountain behind Niamh and taps her on the
shoulder. She spins round.
Niamh: Ambrose!
You came.
Ambrose: I finished the paperwork
early. Thought I’d come out
for a walk with my family.
Niamh smiles and Assumpta drops back towards Peter.
Peter: Can we
talk about it now?
Assumpta: What?
Peter: Last night.
I’m s...
Assumpta: If you say ‘I’m sorry’
one more time...
Peter: I am.
Assumpta: I was a complete bitch
last night....
Peter: No you
weren’t.
Assumpta: I was. Don’t argue
with me.
Peter: Okay.
Assumpta: It’s just been difficult
readjusting to having
someone else around the place. I’m not used to it.
I know it really upset you and it wasn’t fair on you.
She stops, turns and kisses him.
Assumpta: Sorry.
He takes her hand.
Peter: So what
do we do?
Assumpta: I have to put a bit more
effort in. It’s nothing
you’ve done. You make things easer for me, but
maybe... maybe I just like things to be difficult.
Peter: Why?
Assumpta: Make a martyr of myself?
I don’t know. I’m just not
very good at having other people help me unless I’m
paying them to work for me.
Peter: Well,
you can pay me if it’d make you feel better.
Assumpta: Don’t you think that’d
get people talking?
Peter: Oh yeah.
A bit, I suppose.
Assumpta: Anyway, I can’t afford
you. No, I’ll just have to
break the habit of a lifetime and you’ll have to
forgive me if I’m less than appreciative.
Peter: Deal.
Peter: Have you
thought about the wedding much recently?
Assumpta: What wedding?
Peter: Ours!
Assumpta: Yeah, of course I have.
Why?
Peter: Just thinking.
Assumpta: About what?
Peter: I’ll tell
you later.
Assumpta: No, come on, tell me
now.
Peter: No, leave
it until later.
Assumpta gives him a sideways glance and gives up. Peter walks
on a bit to catch up with Tony.
Tony: Hi.
Sorted things out?
Peter: Yeah...
actually, I’m a bit confused.
Tony: Why?
Peter: Assumpta
Fitzgerald just apologised.
Peter bounds on up the mountain towards Brendan. Tony drops back
a bit to talk to Assumpta.
Tony: You
two seem to have worked it out then.
Assumpta: What did he say about
it?
Tony: We
talked last night, when he came in. He was really
upset.
Assumpta: I know.
Tony: I
realise I’m probably telling you things you already
know, but he does love you.
Assumpta: I know he does.
Tony: Good.
I’d hate to see anything happen to you and
Peter. You make a good couple.
Assumpta smiles.
Assumpta: Thanks.
CUT TO:
Scene: Ext. Day.
At the top of the mountain, everyone is resting before starting
the journey back down the mountain. Brendan takes a photo of
the
whole crowd with Tony and the fridge, then Peter clears his
throat.
Peter: While we’re
all here, I’d like to invite you all to a
wedding.
Assumpta: What?
Peter: May the
1st.
Assumpta: Hang on...
Peter: I checked
the diary. We haven’t got anything else to
do, so I thought we might as well get married.
There is anticipation as the assembled crowd waits for Assumpta’s
response.
Assumpta: Oh for... yes, okay, just
stop making a fool of
yourself.
Peter smiles and there is mixed laughter and applause from the
assembled crowd.
Peter takes Assumpta to one side.
Peter: Are you
sure that’s okay?
Assumpta: Someone had to set the
date.
Peter: Well,
exactly... I know we’ve still got a lot of
things to sort out, but it gives us something to aim
for, doesn’t it?
Assumpta: As long as it happens,
I don’t care.
They move back to join the others.
Tony: Well,
I’m going to head down this side of the
mountain, pick up the road on the other side...
Peter: Don’t
you need your bags and stuff?
Tony opens the fridge and reveals his bag inside. Peter nods.
Tony: I’m
not sure if I’ll be able to make it to the
wedding, but Saiorse and I’ll give it our best shot.
Peter: Thanks.
You take care.
Tony: You
too... (he whispers to Peter) and keep hold of
Assumpta.
Peter: Will do.
Send my love to the Wombles.
Tony: Okay...
He kisses Assumpta’s cheek.
Tony: ...
thanks for putting me up.
Assumpta: No problem.
Tony begins his walk down the side of the mountain.
ROLL CREDITS
ENDS
*‘Mo Chuisneoir’ is Gaelic for ‘My fridge’.
*(pronounced Seer-sha meaning freedom)
This script was inspired by the book 'Round Ireland With A Fridge' by
Tony
Hawks, whose 'brilliant madness' could fit in so easily in BallyK!
Stay tuned for the next installment.