Melissa wakes up shivering in the crisp morning air of the Amazon Forest. Contrary to what one might expect (if one were using the clothing of the local inhabitants as a judge) the Amazon Forest is VERY cold. Melissa is a bit grouchy this morning having slept on rocks all night. (Much like the Princess and the Pea, Bards apparently can feel the smallest pebble under their bedroll, course Melissa is without the benefit of a bed roll, for she is lost with only the clothes on her back, well ok she also has the clothes on her legs, her feet, her arms, and, well you get the point.)
GC: "Why are you writing this in third person Melissa?"
MM: "huh? Oh, I don't know, just felt right I guess."
GC: "Well, people will get the impression that you are a bit off, if you know what I mean. After-all it was your adventure, you ought to tell it that way."
MM: "perhaps your right."
GC: "perhaps?"
MM: "of course, your right."
"Ouch!" I exclaim having struck my thumb for the umpteenth time as I attempt to create a spark by striking two stones together. "Thanks for the matches Goddess." I mumble with sarcasm. Perhaps I can provoke her into returning.....not the wisest plan I know, but I am freezing out here! Where ever *here* is. Well lets see, if I were Magellan perhaps I could use the stars to figure out where the heck I am exactly. I look up and see the sun. Hmmm? How can the stars guide me when I can't even see them! If only I had woken up sooner I could have used the sun as my guide. Sure then I would know which direction is East and West, but what good will that do when I have no idea of where I am right now? Gee, I wish I would have paid more attention in geography.
GC: "Now you are writing in present tense, as if you are doing all this right now, when clearly you already did it!"
MM: "You sure are full of writing tips today Goddess, you wouldn't happen to of paid a visit to the Athens Academy of the Performing Bards while I was away?"
GC: (arching her eyebrow) "Careful Melissa, if I didn't know better I would say you were trying to provoke me. Speaking of which, what was that little bit about me giving you matches?"
MM: "uh nothing, Goddess. I just, I mean, I uh, I should get back to writing."
Having realized the Goddess was not returning....
GC: (tapping me in the head) "took you long enough to get it through your thick skull."
MM: (attempt to ignore the comment and continue writing)
My first order of business would be to figure out where I was.
GC: (devilish smile) "Didn't you try to find something to eat first?"
MM: (arching my eyebrow) "You were there?"
GC: "Of course, you don't think I would go off and leave you all alone do you?" (winks)
MM: "Hmmmm. Well I am leaving out the food part because it is not integral to the plot."
GC: "Yes but it makes for an amusing tale don't you think?"
MM: "I am sure I have no idea what you mean."
GC: "Come on don't be coy...the way you ran after that fish for hours before finally falling flat on your face, right into the muddy river. And the thing with the honey, those bees had you pretty crazed for a while. And then the rabbit....."
MM: ::blushing:: "Well that fish was particularly fast and those bees had impeccable aim, it was like they were....bewitched.....or something. HEY! How could you do that to me?! I must of looked the fool running around all over...the....place. Oh. I guess *that* answers my question."
GC: (laughing) "Oh Melissa, if you could have seen the look on your face! It was simply priceless!"
MM: "I am glad you were amused Goddess. I could have starved."
GC: "So melodramatic" (ruffles my hair) "Anyway, I let you eat.....eventually."
MM: "yes, but...."
GC: "What possessed you to go after that honey anyway?"
MM: "It was purely for entertainment purposes, I assure you."
GC: (Big grin) "Oh how I have missed you, my little bard."
MM: "Couldn't find anyone else to torture, eh?"
GC: "Actually *that* was not a problem at all. It's just you are particularly fun to tease, such an easy target. Could you make that Little Hercules face for me? Please."
MM: (sigh) (mumble) "It's good to be back."
After finally catching a fish, which miraculously jumped right out of the water into my hands (an event I now realize which was inspired by divine intervention), I set out walking or rather wondering aimlessly through the forest.
GC: "Aren't you going to tell them about the poison oak? And the nettles?"
MM: "Goddess, do poison oak and nettles grow naturally in the Amazon Forest?"
GC: "Well I can't say with certainty, but I can tell you that they didn't grow naturally in the particular places you *tripped* into them."
MM: "Why Goddess? I was already having a miserable time, without your help."
GC: "Don't try to lay a guilt trip on me Melissa. You know it won't work."
END DAY ONE
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