The Farting Parasite II
By: Winse Heyward
This is the sequal to my famous "Parasite" Yes thats right the most anticipated event is here and you are about to read it. Give it up for Phoo! As you know, the parasite looks like this:
Phoo, having been driven out of his town in South America for pooting so much, now lived in a remote part of China and would be considered a modern day hermit was finally away from all of the persecution. Even though he got an implant to stop his farting it soon deteriated and the farting began once again, but because no one is near him he cannot be heard and made fun of in any way. On his birthday, of all days, Phoo would have a visit from someone familiar(foreshadowing). Phoo woke up to the smell of smoke which was unusual because of his terrible stench, he looked up and saw a large area bellowing with smoke. Forgetting that it was birthday Phoo walked casually to the site and was surprised to see the site of a crashed plane. To his even more surprise out came a small man with a gun and he said "Why hello Phoo" and blew the **it out of the tree next to him," I've come for some revenge dude!" said the familiar looking man and then Phoo realized that this was his principal from the school that he had his legendary fart attack in. " I've come to avenge my terrible smell that I have now that is stuck with me for life!". Then Phoo did something very stupid he said,(pretty suspenseful, huh)" Shut up you little cheeseball of a nerdling" then ran like the wind back to his piece of crap like home took out his coat for warmth and ran into the mountains. He hid behind a boulder and prepared for battle with the little crackhead coming up the hill. He had nothing but his own legs that could save him now so he ran before the idiot got to close dodging bullets aimed for him. Phoo fell(oh noooo!) on a stump and looked behind him to his surprise the shorty was right behind him, he aimed the gun at phoo's head, and(don't do it man)said " Before I kill you I m gonna torture you a little". The principal took out a lighter and said "now its time for you to suffer!". Just then, right when the man was bringing the lighted lighter towards him he felt the surge to fart, then just as the man was about to light Phoo on fire, flipped himself over on his stomach took a deep breath and farted the record longest fart in history(don't believe me, just look in the Guinness book). The lighter that the man was holding blew up in a huge flame setting the principal on fire. The principal rolled down the hill stopped at the bottom just as Phoo reached him, but it was too late. Then Phoo said " This should last me a month", as he was dragging the short, crispy, fried, and dead man away. Then Phoo said what is known to be his trademark saying " This thing probably won't taste good ,but at least I won't have to cook it(ba boom paahh)" And walked away with a chuckle.
The End