Ch. 73
"A baby? You want to have a baby?"
"I realize this is sudden, but yeah, i do. Don't you ever think about
having more kids...with me?"
"Sonny of course I want more kids, especially with you it's just..."
"Just what?"
"Well, Sonya isn't even a year old, and Jason hasn't even been gone a
year..I just feel disloyal to his memory."
"Brenda, this is what he wanted, you know that."
"I know, but I was thinking if we plan this wedding right and take it
slow maybe we could pull it off and get married in a few months and then
talk about kids."
Sonny looked down at his hands disappointed.
"Sonny, I really do want to have a baby with you, but I would like to
wait a little bit. right now things are just moving a little too fast
for me. I mean first,we decided to get back together, and then we told
Stone that your his father and now we're engaged, a baby right now would
be too much for me. When we decide to have another child, I want it to
be right for both of us."
"I understand, I guess I just got a little anxious. I mean I have you
and Stone, and for once everything is going my way I guess i just got
scared that I would wake up and it would all be gone."
"Sonny, you have me, right here, and I'm not going anywhere. I promise."
She kissed him for reassurance and he kissed her back.
"I didn't mean to rush you, I just really want a family."
"I know, but you already have a family that loves you very much."
"Care to show me how much?"
"This much."
She grabbed him by the collars and kissed him hard. He kissed her back
and then scooped her up in his arms and carried her upstairs. Both had
gotten so caught up in the moment they forgot that Stone was still
downstairs.
"Mommy, C'mere!!!!"
When he got no answer he went into the living room.
"Mommy, I need your help!" He walked into the empty living room.
"Mommy? Daddy?"
Frustrated he went back into the kitchen and looked up at the cookies he
wanted on the top shelf. He started to climn up the cubboards until he
got to the counter. He stood up and reached his little arms up, but the
cookies were still out of his reach. He started to climb up the
cubboards to the top shelf when his foot slipped and he fell to the
floor with a load thud and a crash as his glass of milk broke against
the ground.
"What was that?" Brenda asked as she pushed sonny off of her.
"What was what?" Sonny said a s he went back to kissing her neck.
"That crash..Stone! Sonny get up Stone's in the kitchen!"
Brenda and Sonny ran down to the kitchen to find their little boy laying
still on the kitchen floor.
Ch 74
"Stone? Stone answer me!" Brenda shrieked as she fell to her knees
beside her son. Then softly she whispered. "Stone please answer Mama."
Meanwhile Sonny had called 9-1-1 and given the operator the information
she needed. Then he hung up and knelt down next to Brenda. She was
shaking and crying. He gathered her in his arms and held her against
him. She didn’t fight him, instead she collapsed into his arms. They
stayed like that as they waited for help, praying that their little boy
would be alright.
!^!^!^!^!^!
Brenda stood by the window of the ER doors watching the doctors work on
Stone. Sonny stood behind her, his arms wrapped around her and his chin
resting on her shoulder.
"He looks so small and helpless." Brenda whispered.
"He’ll be okay baby. With us as parents he’s got to have one hell of a
hard head." That brought a slight giggle from Brenda before she sighed
again. "Tell me."
"The day he was born was one of the most amazing days of my life. Did
you know Jason and Luke went through delivery with me?"
"No. Why both of them?"
"Because they both happened to be in the room when I went into labor.
It was the funniest thing. I was yelling at Jason and Luke alternately
that I hated them and every other member of their sex especially anyone
who was associated with you. Luke was used to it but I think I scared
Jason a little. I nearly broke Luke’s hand in two because I squeezed it
so hard. But the first time I held him was indescribable. I was
incredibly happy and excited and so scared because now here I was. A
mother. I was responsible for making sure he grew up right."
"I gotta tell ya Bren ya did a hell of a job."
"Thanks. I had help though. Jason, Robin, Ned, Lois, Luke, the Q’s."
"What about Jax?"
"I didn’t really let Jax around Stone for the first few months of his
life."
"Why not?"
"Sonny, Jax wanted me to get rid of Stone."
Ch. 75
Sonny looked at Brenda. "What do you mean, get rid of him? He wanted
you to give him up for adoption?"
"Not exactly." she said casting her eyes towards the ground.
"What do you mean, not exactly." He answered with the growing anger
very apparent in his voice.
"I mean he thought...he thought that I should get an abortion."
"An abortion??? Just who the hell did Candyboy think he was?! I mean
what gave him the right to decide whether or not MY child lived!!!"
"Sonny calm down, people are beginning to stare. C'mon let's go sit
down." She said taking him by the hand over to the couch.
"Sonny, after you left, I broke down. I thought that you left because
you didn't love me anymore. Jax was the only one who seemed to care
about me. I had just started to pick up the pieces of my life when I
found out about Stone. Sonny, you have to understand where I was coming
from. You were the one man I had loved my whole life, yet you married a
woman I hated. You made me give up everything I loved and then you left
me. I gave you my life and you crushed it. I started to believe that
maybe the only person you really did ever love was Lily. And maybe this
was all part of some kind of revenge on me for my part in her death."
"Brenda, that's not true at all I-"
"Sonny, please let me finish. (he nodded and held her hand tighter) The
fact of the matter is, I thought that Jax was right. I believed that
if I went through with it and had the abortion that I could finally be
rid of any connection I had to you. So I made the appointment and that
was what I was going to do."
Sonny wiped at the tears that were forming, and took a deep breath.
"Wha...What changed your mind?" he asked her, his voice quivering.
Brenda let out a slight giggle at the memory and smiled for the first
time since they had found Stone in the kitchen.
"Well, I had gone to the Doctor to have the abortion and there was some
type of mix up. I heard the wrong room number or something and when the
doctor came in she started rubbing jelly on my stomach. I was scared to
death because no one had given me any anesthetic. So I asked her what
she was doing and she told me not to worry that it wouldn't hurt at all.
Well, of course I thought she was nuts, but then she flicked on the
machine and there he was. Of course at the time I didn't know whether
it was a boy or a girl, I just knew it was my baby. That was when I
knew that I had been given a sign by god. I was supposed to have this
baby and I did."
"How did Jax feel about it?"
"He was upset at first and tried to talk me out of keeping the baby, but
Ned stood by me. And then when Robin came home and Lois returned it
got easier."
"I wish you would have told me this before."
"It's not one of my finer moments as a mother."
He took her in his arms and held her.
"Excuse me, Sonny, Brenda? We have news on Stone."
Ch 76
"Bobbie? What happened? Is he okay?" Brenda asked as she and Sonny
stood up.
"Well he has a slight concussion and he’ll need stitches because he got
a got a gash when he fell. We want to keep him for the night but we
think he’ll be alright." Brenda let out a sigh of relief and sagged
against Sonny who put his arms around her and kissed the top of her
head.
"Can we see him? Can we stay the night with him?"
"Of course. I’ll get a cot put in his room and you can see him as soon
as we get him into a room."
"Bobbie? Thank you." Bobbie just smiled and nodded and then she walked
away.
"He’s gonna be okay. Sonny he’s gonna be okay!" Brenda jumped into his
arms. He caught her and swung her around. "Our baby’s gonna be okay."
She whispered softly. Sonny buried his face in her neck and thanked God
for that doctor’s mix-up four years ago. It had given him one of the
greatest gifts in the world. A second chance.
(@(@(@(@(@
Sonny and Brenda watched as Stone slept. Brenda’s hand held their son’s
hand as he did.
"Bren?"
"Hmm?"
"I love you."
"I know." She turned her head so that she was looking in his eyes. "I
love you too." She smiled up and him and he kissed her forehead. He
took her free hand and brought it to his lips, kissing it and then
pressing it to his cheek. Then they watched their son sleep before
sleep took them.
There's a calm surrender
To the rush of day
When the heat of the rolling world
Can be turned away
An enchanted moment
And it sees me through
It's enough for this restless warrior
Just to be with you
Sonny placed an arm around Brenda’s waist drawing her closer and
inhaling the scent of her shampoo as he placed a kiss in her tangled
hair.
And can you feel the love tonight
It is where we are
It's enough for this wide-eyed wanderer
That we got this far
And can you feel the love tonight
How it's laid to rest
It's enough to make kings and vagabonds
Believe the very best
Brenda felt peaceful as she spied Mike and Mary holding Sonya and Bailey
through the observation window. Her girls. She felt Jason’s presence,
as she did everytime she looked at their daughters. Better make that
their girls. All three of theirs, she thought as she felt Sonny’s arms
around her waist.
There's a time for everyone
If they only learn
That the twisting kaleidoscope
Moves us all in turn
There's a rhyme and reason
To the wild out-doors
When the heart of this star-crossed voyager
Beats in time with yours
Mike watched his son, daughter, and grandson sleep and he knew that his
son had finally found his peace. Looking at his wife, he felt his
peace.
And can you feel the love tonight
It is where we are
It's enough for this wide-eyed wanderer
That we got this far
And can you feel the love tonight
How it's laid to rest
It's enough to make kings and vagabonds
Believe the very best
Peace filled the tiny hospital room. Peace of knowing that they were
finally home.
It's enough to make kings and vagabonds
Believe the very best
Ch. 77
"Mommy?" said a small voice, the next morning.
Brenda immeditately woke at the sound of her son's voice.
"Stone? How are you feeling?" she asked as she stroked his hair.
"My head hurts."
"I'll bet it does. I'm so glad your alright. do you have any idea how scared mommy and daddy
were?"
"No."
Sonny woke up to the sounds of his fiance and son.
"hey there partner. You gave us quite a scare last night."
"I'm sorry daddy."
Sonny smiled. He would never get tired of hearing someone call him daddy.
"That's ok. The important thing is that you are gonna be fine."
The rest of the morning was spent with the three of them talking and laughing. Each parent
secretly thanking god for thier sons recovery.
"Hello? Is my favorite grandson up to a few visitors?"
"Come on in Pop."
mike walked in holding Bailey who automatically reached for her mother once she saw her.
"Hi grandpa!!"
"Hey there Stone. So let me see this bumb on your head. Wow. That sure is big."
"It is not!!!"
"Where is Sonya nad Mary?" Brenda asked as she settled into a chair with her daughter.
"They should be here in a minute. Mary wanted to show off her little granddaughter to some of
her friends. But Bailey here kept asking about her big brother, so i figured we would go on
ahead."
"Thanks for wathcing them Mike."
"Michael, there's no need to thank me for watchig my grankids. Spoiling them is one of my
favorite past times. So when does the little guy get outta here?"
"Hopefully tonight. Bobbie said that the doctors want to check him over one more time, just to
be sure."
"Well i know that you two have had a rough time so how about you come home with Mary and I
andhave a good homecooked meal. Then we'll take all three of them and you two can have a night
to yourselves."
"I don't know. I really don't want to leave him so soon after his accident." Brenda said
apprhensively.
"sweetheart, i think it's a good idea. Mike and Mary are very compotent, in fact Mary's a nurse
so what could happen. Besides you need the rest."
"He's right, Brenda. I promise that Mary and i won't take our eyes off any of them all night
long."
"Well, I guess it wouldn't hurt if i did get a good night's sleep. Ok, but promise me you won't
let him out of your sight."
"I promise."
"Great! Then it's settled. Thanks Pop!"
Ch 78
"Well I gotta say Mary’s a fantastic cook." Sonny said as they walked
into the penthouse later that night.
"Better than you?" Brenda asked teasingly.
"I wouldn’t say that."
"I would." Brenda giggled at the look on Sonny’s face. "Just kidding."
"Yeah you better be."
"Or what? Huh? Whadda ya gonna do to me Sonny?"
"I could make you eat your own cooking."
"Oh very funny. You know I’m a much better cook than when you left. I
had to be. I couldn’t let Stone starve to death, could I?"
"Nope." Sonny got a far off look on his face.
"What is it?"
"I’m just thinking about what you told me before. About Jax."
"Sonny, if it makes you feel any better I all but cut him out of my life
when I was pregnant with Stone. Lucy thought it was a great idea.
Something about negative vibes."
"I’ll have to thank her."
"Sonny there’s something I wanna talk about."
"What?"
"Well before when we were upstairs and Stone was in the kitchen, we were
in the middle of something."
"I remember. I wasn’t gonna bring it up, until I was sure you were
ready."
"Sonny I want this to be right and I want you to be sure you want this."
"Bren, I’ve wanted this since I saw you that first night at Luke’s and
you told me you were pregnant with Jason’s baby."
"Not one of the finer moments in our relationship." She bit her lip and
apprehension filled her face. "Sonny will you make love to me?"
"I thought you’d never ask." He walked over to take her in his arms and
kissed her lovingly. She kissed back as she started to tug at the
buttons on his shirt.
Feel your breath on my shoulder
And I know we couldn't get any closer
I don't wanna act tough, I just wanna fall in love
As we move into the night,
I get crazy
Thinking how it's gonna be with you baby
I don't wanna play rough I've been loving you enough
Oh baby...
Sonny brought his hands to frame her face before he moved his lips to
her neck and then her shoulders, removing first her shirt and then her
bra.
I wanna take forever tonight
Wanna stay in this moment forever
I'm gonna give you all the love that I've got
I wanna take forever tonight
Fill you up, fill you up with love
When we close the door all I need is in your eyes
Whoa -I, wanna take forever tonight.
Brenda pushed his shirt off his shoulders as she trailed kisses across
the top of his chest. Then she brought her lips back to his and kissed
him passionately.
Touch my lips, I'm on fire
You're the only one I'll ever desire
Turn the light down low, make the world go slow
When I'm holding you tonight it's so easy
Nothing moves me like you do when you tease me
And to rush would be a crime
I just wanna spend some time with you baby
Sonny gently picked her up and carried her to the couch. It was
unspoken between them that it wouldn’t happen upstairs. Not in Jason’s
bed. Not tonight. He gently laid her down.
And when I'm here beside you
I wanna see what drives you out of your mind
I never wanna leave I only wanna be with you
Cause I love how you feel your love is so real
Brenda drew him to her. Wanting, needing to feel him. It was like that
night in the caves so many years ago. The need to feel him in her one
more time. Only she knew this wouldn’t be the last time. They were
only just beginning. All over again.
I wanna take forever tonight
Wanna stay in this moment forever
I'm gonna give you all the love that I've got
Cause I can't live without you.
Ch. 79
It had been 3 months since they made love. Things were going great. The
kids were getting bigger everyday and the wedding was only a month away.
They had bought their own house down in the Charles Street area a few
blocks from the Spencers. They had given the penthouse to Lucky
SPencer and Emily Qaurtermaine, who were trying to escape the
disapprovement of their living together from the Q's.
Brenda adored her house. It had large rooms and a wrap around porch and
a huge backyard for the kids. But most of all it came with no memories.
This was their house. They didn't share it with Lily or Jason, nobody
but them.
"Mommy?? I'm going to be late for soccer!!!" Stone said as he ran into
the kitchen where Brenda sat at the table going over some last minute
wedding preparations.
"Ok, sweetheart, I'm coming. Is Daddy ready?"
"Yes I am, so let's go." Sonny replied as he came through the kitchen
door with Sonya in his arms. Brenda picked up Bailey and off they went.
!~!~!~!~!!~!~!~!
Later that night the entire family was sitting around the dining room
table talking and laughing.
"You should have seen him, Pops! I mean Stone is the best soccer player
on that team!!"
"Honey, he's good, but don't you think you're a little biased?"
"NO!! He's my son which means he's a natural athlete." Sonny said
beaming with pride.
Stone had scored 2 goals that morning and Sonny was now convinced that
his son was the best 4 year old athelte there was. It made Brenda
happy. She had everything she wanted. Sonny and her kids. She missed
Jason alot and talked to him sometimes, but the friendship they had had
helped her to build one with sonny. This time around they WERE going to
make it!! She looked around her dining room table and smiled at her
family. Sonny, Stone, Bailey, Mike and MAry and Joe, Frank, Karen and
Julie. she could never ask for anything more than what she had now.
Sonny glanced over at Brenda. She was smiling blissfully and he knew
what she was thinking. He was thinking the same thing too! He FINALLLY
had everything he ever wanted. Well almost. He missed Stone and Jason
terribly. He went to the bridge often just to talk to them. Sometimes
he even heard them answer back. He missed Robin, though. SHe had
refused to take the old penthouse saying it held to many memories for
her. He guessed it did for everyone involved. He wished that things
could go back the way they used to be. When Stone was still alive and he
was with Brenda. He wished he could go back and change everything that
he had done and said to her. He wished that he had been honest with her
from the beggining, then maybe now they would be married and have 4 kids
by now. Four kids that they made in love. It wasn't that he didn't love
Bailey and Sonya like his own, but everytime he looked at them he
thought of Jason.
"Sonny? Frank and Julie are leaving, and I'm going to go check on the
baby." He shook his head.
"Baby? Are you ok? YOu kinda look sad."
"Nothing's wrong sweetheart, i was just thinking about some stuff."
"Ok." she said as she kissed him and went upstairs.
!~!~!~!~!!
Sonny laid in bed holding Brenda.
"That was incredible."
"Yes it was!!" Brenda giggled. "I wish sometimes that we could just like
this forever."
"So do I." He whispered back.
"Sonny, what's the matter? You've been acting weird all night long?"
Sonny looked away for a moment and then back at her.
"I was just thinking about what it would have been like if I hadn't been
such an idiot."
Ch 80
"What are you talking about?"
"When we were first together, if I had been honest with you things would
be so different now. I would never have married Lily or left you, you
wouldn’t have married Jax or Jason. Stone, Bailey, and Sonya would be
ours." She rolled over on top of him propping her chin up on his chest
as she studied his face.
"Hey, they are ours."
"I mean really ours. Bailey wouldn’t have those crystal blue eyes that
remind me of Jason every time I look at her." Brenda sat up and pulled
Sonny into a sitting position with her. She took his hands in hers and
looked into his eyes.
"Sonny, I don’t want to hurt you, but I wouldn’t trade my time with
Jason for anything. He was my best friend and I loved him. We had two
beautiful daughters together and we raised a son who Jason adored. Not
just because he was his best friend’s son but because he was Stone. I
will miss Jason every day for the rest of my life and I know you will
too. He was a good man and I’ll never stop loving him but that doesn’t
mean I don’t not love you just as much as I always did and always will.
Jason made me feel love again. He helped me get the feeling back in the
part of my heart which up until then had been numb. And he loved me
enough to let me go. When you came back he overheard me say that I
still loved you and I ended up chasing him down with his old motorcycle.
He told me that he loved me and the kids more than anything but he
wanted me to be happy and if that meant you he wouldn’t stand in my way.
Obviously I didn’t take him up on his offer but I knew in that instant
that I’d do the same for him. If Jason had come to me and told me that
he wanted to be with Robin I would have let him go and wished him well.
I would have hurt for awhile but I would have gone on without him.
That’s what I had to do after he died. He let me go the last time he
kissed me and I let him go the night I took off my wedding ring. He
wanted us together and so do I. You are a very lucky man. You have a
fiancé who loves you to pieces, a little boy who thinks you walk on
water and two little girls who adore you." Sonny studied her face for a
minute and then brought her hands to his lips and kissed them.
"Thank you. I needed to hear that."
"Well anytime you need a reminder of just how lucky you are, come talk
to me. I’ll gladly remind you."
"Back at ya."
"I know how lucky I am. You don’t have to remind me."
"Can I quote you on that?"
"Why?"
"Well if we do end up having more kids I want ammo for the delivery
room."
"Very funny honey."
"Yeah I thought so."
"Ha!" Brenda pushed him flat on his back and as he was going back he
grabbed her hand and she ended up landing on top of him. Sonny raised
his hands and pushed her hair back, tucking it behind her ears as she
leaned down and kissed him. Their kisses became longer and more intense
as they made love yet again.
)@)@)@)@)@)@)@
Brenda sat on the railing of the back porch with one leg drawn up
watching Stone and Bailey run around the back yard. Sonya was in her
carrier on the picnic table. She heard the sliding glass door open and
Sonny come out.
"Hot chocolate?" he said offering her a steaming mug,
"Thank you." She took it and sipped at the hot liquid.
"What’s up?"
"What do you mean?"
"You’ve been quiet all day and Lois said you canceled your meeting about
Ned’s next concert at Luke’s."
"Just didn’t feel like going."
"Why?"
"Sonny I think I’m pregnant."
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