A short time ago in
all of space right here…
WAR
OF CHAOS III.5 !!!
Episode
thirty-one: Chunked Chovas
“WHAT
THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?” Gates yelled at one of his employees.
“Sir,
no offence, but I cannot just sit here while our multiverse is blown to total
smithereens!” The slightly nerdy looking employee said.
“
WELL IF YOU GO OUT AND FIGHT, THEN I WILL APPEAR WEAK! YOU MUST STAY HERE SO I
CAN USE YOU AS AN EXCUSE FOR ME TO STAY HERE AS WELL! I dare not go outside!”
Gates yelled hiding under the desk. There was suddenly an odd tone to his voice
as he said, “Thousands of them…millions, perhaps even billions! And I cannot do
anything about it! They don’t use Windows! I have no power in this war! WERE
ALL GONNA DIE!” Gates chose that moment to go into mass seizures. He shook and
tumbled under the desk like a fish out of it’s tank.
“ Of
for crying out loud.” Jibran’s voice said. “Hey shithead! GET UP!” Gates opened
his eyes and saw Britney Spears and Jibran standing in the doorway, the
employee had been blown to bits. Spears and Jibran both had smirks on their
faces and Gates composed himself quickly,
“ I
was uhh…just under the desk…ummm…cowering…YEAH! THAT’S IT! I WAS COWERING UNDER
THE DESK! Wait a second…uh guys, can you ignore the last 10 shameful seconds of
my life?” Gates asked hopefully.
Jibran
shook his head, “Nope…now let us get down to business. You are worried about
these Dave rebels not using Windows…well what if we got rid of them?”
“OHOOHHH!!
THAT WOULD BE NICE! But that isn’t going to happen.”
“ Yes
it will.” Spears said with a gleam of evil in her eye. “Jack has just surpassed
Chovas, soon Chovas will be dead and the Coded people within the Multiverse can
try and close the portal using their Code Mumbojumbo!”
“ I
see…and how does that relate to us?” Gates asked.
Jibran
and Spears turned to one another and smiled and then turned back to Gates,
revealing wide grins. Jibran stepped forward, “Were gonna get rid of these Dave
rebels…and while we are at it, get rid of our mortal enemies as well!!!
BWAHWAHWHAWHAWHAWHAHWHAWHAHWHAWHWAHAWHAAAAA!”
Gates
stared at the two of them laughing and didn’t laugh. Jibran stepped forward and
hit Gates at the back of the head,
“
What…oh sorry…HAHAHAHAHAHAAA!” Gates laughed joining in.
“
ARGH! GOD!” An angel said running into the room and tripping over its own
robes. “GOD OH MIGHTY LORD! ITS pandemonium OUT THERE! We have dead people
coming in from all directions! The mass of the afterlife is increasing, IM NOT
SURE WE CAN HOLD IT CAPTAIN!”
God
stood up from watching TV and made fists, a gleam of hope in his eyes and he
rose and spoke in the same way that had given millions hope many generations
ago. He opened his mouth and said proudly, “YOU! HAND ME MY CELL PHONE!” A
large cell phone was handed to God. It was his brand new Cloudnet cell phone.
He pressed the preprogrammed number on it,
“Satan’s
palace, how may I help you?” A female’s voice said on the other end.
“
LISTEN YOU! THIS IS GOD! GIMME SATAN!” God said.
“ I
am sorry, who is this? Do you have an appointment with Satan?” The annoying
female voice asked in her raspy voice.
“ I
SAID I AM GOD! NOW PUT THE HORNED DEVIL ON THE PHONE!” God yelled angrily.
“ I
am sorry, Satan is away right now.”
“
Where is he?”
“ In
his office…”
“ SO
GET HIM ON THE PHONE!” God yelled angrily.
“ I
am sorry, as I said before, he is away…” The secretary replied.
“ BUT
YOU JUST SAID THAT HE WAS IN HIS OFFICE!”
“
Exactly…” The secretary replied.
God
froze for a moment, rubbed his beard for a few minutes and then suddenly
yelled, “OI! LISTEN TO ME YOU! IF YOU DON’T GET SATAN ON THE PHONE, I AM GOING
TO STEP DOWN FROM HEAVEN AND TALK TO HIM MYSELF AND MAKE SURE THAT YOU GET
FIRED!”
“ I
am sorry sir…you are breaking up.” The secretary said.
Suddenly,
some loud static took over the phone and God heard, “You have been placed on
hold…all our Sympatico High Speed technical agents are currently providing
service for other members more important that you. Please hang up and call when
you get a better salary…”
God
snapped and he threw the cell phone onto the ground so hard that it went
through the clouds and hit Nurdin on Earth creating a large crater.
God
closed his eyes and said, “When cell phones fail, USE TELEPATHY!” He placed his
fingers to his temples and started to hum. “HUUUMMMM!!! HUUUMMM!! DUUUUMMM!!
BUUUUMMM!! HUUUUUMMMM! Calling all Gods, calling all Gods, this is God…we need
to use your heavens cause ours are getting crowded.”
Suddenly,
a million voices replied, “YA CRAZY IDGIT! WE ARE ALL HAVING THE SAME PROBLEM!
TOO MANY PEOPLE ARE SUDDENLY DYING IN THE MULTIVERSE! I JUST HAD AN ENTIRE RACE
APPEAR AT THE GATES OF HEAVEN DEMANDING TO GET IN! WE CANNOT LEND YOU ANY
ROOM!” God made fists and yelled out loud, “AH FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! WHO GIVES A
DAMN! GIVE THEM THEIR LIVES BACK!”
And
so this caused the largest death count ever. Everyone who died died…went to the
afterlife where they were told that there was no room for them, and then got
their lives returned to them…where they appeared in the middle of the chaos and
were killed again and sent once again to the afterlife where they were told
there was no room for them, and then got their lives returned to them…where
they appeared in the middle of the chaos and were killed yet again.
THIS
MY FRIENDS IS THE TRUE DEFINITION OF THE CIRCLE OF LIFE!
Jack
lunged at Chovas and blasted several balls of energy at him hitting him
directly in the body sending him crashing into Jack’s boot (he had teleported
behind him very quickly.
Chovas
tried to execute as much speed as he could, but found it difficult now that
most of the memory in the Multiverse was being used. He shook his fists and
executed a “CREATE VIRTUAL MEMORY” Function.
The
Virtual Memory of the universe was a very dangerous thing to use. It was based
not on reality, but on everyone’s perception of reality. Basically, this was
the memory people use in the state called dreaming.
Unfortunately
for Chovas, no one was dreaming right now, and no one was thinking either. From
what he could see, the sky was full of brain dead idiots! “DAMN YOU ALL!”
Chovas yelled getting kicked very hard by Jack. Chovas was sent flying and
crashed into an asteroid.
Jack
smiled and he said, “This game ends…..NOW!” Suddenly, Jack closed his eyes and
the glow around him started to increase. Before everyone’s eyes, Jack turned
into a red ball of energy. “It’s a little trick Vortec taught me! NOW! EAT
ENERGY!” Jack (energy mode) flew at Chovas who had somehow managed to get one
of his blades caught under a large rock. He watched with horror as Jack flew
towards him.
“NOOOOOO!”
Chovas yelled. But it was too late…Jack (energy mode) flew right through his
body, and through the asteroid. There was a moment when Chovas existed, but
then failed to exist. The sky around him began to warp.
“
WHATS HAPPENING TO HIM?” Jon asked Dave in the middle of the battlefield.
“ His
code is breaking down…he is decompiling and loosing all abilities. The merger
was based off of a Turing Merge, it is not powerful enough to withstand that
kind of damage to its code.” Dave replied blasting a ball of nothingness at one
of the rebels.
“
What is the most powerful merger?” Jon asked out of curiosity.
Dave
turned to him and smiled, “It is something that you have never heard of.
Something that is very advanced, something that is extremely powerful, more
powerful and more widely used than Turing.” Some heroic music started playing
in the back ground as Dave started yelling, “THIS IS A POWER UNLIKE ANYTHING
ELSE! IT IS WHAT CODING LANGUAGE THE VERY CODE OF THE MULTIVERSE WAS WRITTEN
IN! THERE IS NO ONE WITH AN INTELLIGENCE GREAT ENOUGH TO UNDERSTAND IT! IT IS
CALLED C ++!!!!” Dave yelled
proudly.
“ Oh
cool! I’ll just ask Mr. Scully to teach me how…” Jon said.
Dave’s
moment of glory was shattered, “You have heard of this C ++?”
“ Of
course! It’s a course offered at the Woodlands…”Jon said.
Dave’s
eyes lit up. “DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS CHILD???”
Jon
dodged a blast of nothingness and replied, “What does this mean?”
“ IT
MEANS THAT YOUR SCHOOL IS THE SCHOOL!”
Dave yelled.
“
What do you mean?” Jon asked.
“ I
mean your school…the people who go there, they are the ones who are truly the
ones that are meant to save this Multiverse! Every single Multiverse has it’s
own safe guard. This safeguard is unknown by those who live in it! Its as if
every single student at your school is a big part of the Multiverse, BUT THEY
DON’T EVEN KNOW IT! Many trillions of years ago, there existed another
Multiverse before the Big BANG. This multiverse had slightly different laws of
Physics…but it had a safeguard…your predecessors at the Woodlands! They were
the original defenders of the Multiverse! And now that role has been passed
down to you guys! WE MUST GO TO WOODLANDS NOW!” Dave yelled.
“
WHY?!?!?!” Jon asked slightly confused.
“ WE
MUST LEARN C ++ IN 1 DAY! There is something that can save the Multiverse from
the wrath of Stephanie and Steve!” Jon yelled.
“
WHAT IS IT!?!??!” Jon asked flying towards his version of the Earth.
“
IT’S THE ULTIMATE LORD CHAVOS! A MERGER OF YOU, SINA, JIBRAN, CAD MAN, MAX MAN,
TURING MAN, AND JACK! WE NEED ALL OF THEM FROM YOUR REALITY FOR THE MERGER TO
BE THE STRONGEST! WITHOUT ONE, THE WHOLE THING DOESN’T WORK! Several trillion
years ago there existed a previous version of this Lord known as Lord SOVAHC!
He was the defender of the Multiverse until the Multiverse got bored and
decided to randomly implode. JON! WE MUST GET TO EARTH, FIND THIS MR. SCULLY
AND HAVE HIM TEACH US C++ SO WE CAN CREATE THE ULTIMATE MERGER TO SAVE THIS
MULTIVERSE YET AGAIN!”
“
Uh…were already here.” Jon said.
“
Ah…that was quick!”
Jon
closed his eyes and Turing Man appeared beside him. “Turing here will help us
learn everything that we need to know…” They ran upstairs the classroom where
Michelle, Chrissy and Tori jumped on their heads.
“
WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU GUYS DOING???” Jon yelled.
“
JON!” Michelle yelled happy to see that Jon wasn’t dead.
“
Sorry Jon…a couple of the Dave rebels tried to enter the school so we jumped
them…they’re in room 99 learning Chemistry from Mrs. Macfarlane. That ought to
hold them off for a while.” Tori said.
“ AH
YES! GOOD IDEA! But never the less! I have work to do! I gotta find the proper
code to merge myself with others to form the super duper master duper lord
CHAVOS!” Jon yelled joyfully running into the room. Mr. Scully was there alone
asleep on the desk.
“ MR.
SCULLY! GET UP! I NEED TO BE EDUCATIONALIZED!” Dave yelled. Mr. Scully fell off
the desk and was slightly confused. And so the great learning began…
“ARGH!”
Chovas yelled breaking up into his previous components.
“AAARRSHHHIIITTTHHHEEAAADDDDAAAVVVEEEECAAAADDDMMMAAAXXXXTUUURIIIINNNNGGGG!”
Chovas yelled exploding into Cad Man, Max Man, evil Jon and Turing.
Jack didn’t
give them a chance to live. Flying quickly through them, he blasted them all
straight to hell…literally.
“ Hey
Babe…” Satan said to his secretary after walking out of the hot springs. “Anyone
call me?”
“No
sir…” The secretary replied.
“ OK!
That’s chillin babe!” Satan said smiling. Suddenly, he heard four thuds right
on his head. He got up quickly and saw Evil Jon, Cad, Max and Turing laying on
the floor.
“
What the hell are you guys doing here in hell?” Satan asked rather irritated by
this unannounced visit.
“
Hey! This isn’t Alabama…” Cad Man said.
“
Nope! It’s not as bad as Alabama! Welcome to hell!” Satan said smiling evilly.
“HAH!
UP YOURS YOU BEAST OF CODE!” Jack yelled doing a funky kind of dance. Tricia
flew up to him and said, “We need your help now Jack…” Jack nodded and he flew
around destroying the many Dave rebels.
“Jack…you
must not absorb the memory…” Cad Men voices inside his head said. Jack nodded
and replied,
“ NO
PROBLEMO!”
Down
on Earth, John Trenmill nodded at Cad Man and said, “Try it again, we have to
close this portal as soon as possible…”
The
Cad Men connected to themselves, the Jons, the Turings and all other Coded
beings within the Multiverse.
The
beam of light appeared once again as they started to chant, “111 00010 01
10101111 01011…” The portal closing procedure was about to begin…it would all
be over hopefully soon…
And
far away from this area of the Multiverse, Stephanie and Steve had just blasted
away another universe…