Everything I Need To Know About Life,

I learned from General Hospital.

Advice and Wisdom from the residents of Port Charles.

A.J.: If you suspect your wife is cheating on you, she probably is.

Alan: If you don't suspect your wife is cheating on you, she probably is.

Bobbie: Same goes for husbands.
Luke: If a conversation begins with: "Keep in mind, this happened when I thought you were dead" you won't like the way it ends.
Laura: If a conversation begins with: "Keep in mind, this happened when I thought you were dead" it's really annoying if you have to counter with: "Which time?"
Roy, Katherine, Lucky, Luke & Laura: When someone you care about dies, you shouldn't waste too much time grieving over them, or waste too much money on the headstone. 'Cuz chances are, they aren't really dead anyway.
A.J. and Nikolas: A formal education is important for getting a good job, IF your family doesn't own a really big company you can work for or you aren't dating someone who owns a really big company you can work for.
The Quartermaines: When it seems as if your child is about to screw up his or her life, don't worry too much. Chances are, s/he isn't really your kid anyway.
Monica: Being a parent doesn't have to interfere with your career, because there's always boarding school.

Felicia: Being a parent doesn't have to interfere with your social life, because there's always Betty or Texas.
Sonny: Crime pays.
Jason: If you're going to do something illegal, do it in Port Charles. Trust me, the hapless PCPD won't catch you.
Ruby, Bobbie, and Tammy: If you want to get out of the Prostitution business, try the Kelly's rehab program.
Alan, Monica, and Tony: No matter what type of injury you have sustained, the doctors at GH can fix you right up again, after a suitable period of time for a "new" surgery or procedure to be developed.
Alan, AJ, and Brenda: Drug Addiction. Not really a deterrent to your professional career or personal relationships. Just give everyone a couple weeks to forget about it.
Carly: Forget about all the little mistakes you've made in your past. Every day is a brand new day, in which someone will take the time to remind you of each and every thing you've ever done wrong.
Tony, AJ, Nikolas, Stefan, Sonny, Laura & Luke: ALWAYS get DNA evidence (in cases of crime, death, pregnancy...)
Tony, AJ, Nikolas, Stefan, Sonny, Laura & Luke: NEVER trust DNA evidence...someone probably switched blood samples, or paid off the lab workers, or altered the results.
Luke: If it was devious and underhanded, the Cassadines did it.

Mac & Taggert: If it was illegal, Sonny Corinthos or Jason Morgan did it.

Reginald: The butler did it.
Moreno: The safest place to be during a mob war is with the organization that opposes Sonny. None of them are ever killed.
Everyone: Pre-nuptual agreement. Only diamonds last forever.
Ned & Chloe: Tell the Justice of the Peace to skip the whole "If there is anyone present who knows of any reason this couple should not be married..." part.
Emily: Keeping a diary is NOT a good idea. It is akin to publishing your thoughts in the local newspaper.
Carly & Bobbie: The best way to strengthen your relationship with your estranged mother is to sleep with her husband. She'll thank you for it later.
Robin, Laura, AJ: You have the capacity to forgive anyone for anything (Kidnapping, rape, murder, betrayal, infidelity, etc.)

Monica: But why would you when revenge is so much more fun?
Jason, Lucky, and Juan: When you run away from home, it's really dangerous to sleep on the street. It's better to find an old abandoned boxcar and stay there.
Alan: Never give someone a big gift, like a house. Because they'll keep bragging about that gift for the rest of their lives, and you'll never hear the end of it.
Stefan: When participating in a conversation with individuals of inferior education and social standing, it behooves one to utilize a parlance rife with prosaic and pretentious words, the objective being to further demarcate the distinction between oneself and the plebes one is frequently required to deal with and to impress the ignoramuses with one's superior knowlege. Besides, it sounds really cool to use big words.
Edward: A career in public service is rarely as lucrative as it should be. That's why bribery works so well.
Hannah: Never work for the FBI. They have all sorts of unreasonable expectations, like they always want you to get results or to arrest people who are doing illegal things, and they don't care when that gets in the way of your love life.