2. My noble half-brother whose throne I usurped will be killed, not kept anonymously imprisoned in a forgotten cell of my dungeon.
3. Shooting is not too good for my enemies.
4. I will not gloat over my enemies' predicaments before killing them.
5. I will not interrogate my enemies in the inner sanctum -- a small hotel outside my borders will work just as well.
6. When I've captured my adversary and he says, "Look, before you kill me, will you atleast tell me what this is all about?" I'll say, "No." and shoot him. No on second thought I'll shoot him, then say I'll say, "No."
7. I will not include a self destuct mechanism unless absolutely necessary. If it is necessary, it will not be a large red button labelled "Danger: Do Not Push." The big red button marked "Do Not Push" will instead trigger a spray of bullets on anyone stupid enough to disregard it. Similairly, the ON/OFF switch will not be labelled as such.
8. I will be secure in my superiority. Therefore, I will feel no need to prove it by leaving clues in the form of riddles.
9. One of my advisors will be a five-year-old child. Any flaws in my plan that he is able to spot will be corrected before implementation.
10. Despite its stress-relieving effect, I will not indulge in maniacal laughter.
11. No matter how tempted I am with the prospect of unlimited power, I will not consume any energy field bigger than my head.
12. No matter how attractive certain members of the rebellion are, there is probably someone just as attractive who is not desperate to kill me. Therefore, I will think twice before ordering a prisoner sent to my bedchamber.
13. My pet monster will be kept in a secure cage from which it cannot escape and to which I could not accidentally stumble into.
14. I will dress in bright and cheery colors, and so throw my enemies into confusion.
15. I will not fly into a rage and kill a messenger who brings me bad news just to illustrate how evil I really am. Good messengers are hard to come by.
Finally, to keep my subjects permanently locked in a mindless trance, I will provide each of them with free unlimited Internet access service.