This page is dedicated to all of the people that I love!
Todd (my step dad)!*Arlyn!*Kevin!*Julie!*Allison!*Evan!*Mike E!*Todd "the goof" aka the stallion!*Mom!* *******************************************************
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I love Kevin M. This kid lives 5 houses up from me and we never talked until recently. Five houses up, and in all the time he's been here (a few good years) we've never said a word to each other! How gay is that? Well, one day his friends prank called me and I didn't know who it was; when I tried calling back, the line was busy. I held onto the number for a few days and then called back. We figured out who each other were and agreed that we'd have to become best friends. The first day we chilled, we were over at his house for a good four hours. The next day, we called each other at least 4x and the day after that we hung out. I don't think a day has gone by that I haven't gotten a hold of him (unless I was over at my dad's). I swear to fukkin god We call each other a good total of 10 times a day, no joke. He's a great kid tho, fun to be around; sometimes unbelievable though. Some of that WP shit gets trippy sometimes, but I can deal. Love ya hunn.
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I love Julie!
This girl. Damn. I love her overly too much. She's been the BEST FRIEND I COULD EVER ASK FOR. She listens to me and accepts me for who I am. I've never had that. We connect on a level that's seriously awesome and I'm so fucking pissed off at her because she's leaving me. God damned you. Ofcourse I fukkin love her, but SHIT! She's moving to Texas and I'm going to be left with like um.... nothing. We've had a lot of good times together in the little time we've revived our friendship. Julie, I remember in elementry school... fifth grade... how Diana (this one girl) and I would pretend to be the others' friend just so we could have you as ours. and wow, was that crazy. we'd pretend to like each other to get you to be ours. It was funny! I remember when you went out with Joshie during 7th grade and how I so made fun of you for it...I remember how I dumped all of my past friends to join "your" group because I wanted Nathan Hammond to be my boyfriend. I remember when Lauryn made us all "spice girl" braclets and we were trying so hard to be cool. I remember our "sleep overs" next to the boys' bathroom, on the floor, how about 20 of us would pile on each other on the floor. I remember last year how we bonded during P.E. and we talked about Jason and James. I remember how all your friends were mad at you. I remembered when you went out with Justin and you cheated on him (not too long ago). I remembered all these things. All because we were so close, all because you were the most interestin, and the one who always let me come over to your house (though now i realize half those times i didnt give you a choice)...thank you for being such a good friend. Thank you for just sticking around... because now... remember August first, probably not by date, but that was the night that I called you down to my park up by my house so that you could meet up with the Isabella boys. That's the day THE DAY, that we started hanging out. The day that we reunited our friendship and pulled our head out of our asses and realized that we were each others' soul mate. hehe. I love you! e-mail me when you read this!
Allison! This girl is short. Very abnoxious, and very funny. She fukkin kicks ass so much! I loved humping her over summer...lol. (inside joke) Her and I haven't been as close as we have been since summer which is way suckage. I used to always go to her when I needed to be out of trouble, like every time someone called me (guy wise) I'd call her and ask if it was a good idea to hang out. She was talking me out of hanging out with boys and preventing me from making stupid mistakes. I was really nice to have someone like her because I felt like someone maybe cares what's goin on with me. It's easier not though, because of Jimmy. He's my stability in that part where I wasn't so stable in a lil while ago. She really is a spectacle of wonderfullness. *smile* She means a lot to me, and I just recently have gotten out of my bitchy stage. Thank god. Of where depression got over me for about a month and caused our friendship to be almost non-existant. We're a lot better now though, and I love her ofcourse. e-mail me when you read this!
I love Mike E.!We've had our past, but he came back. :D. I love him so so so much. He's the biggest thing in my life that makes me smile and I always get this mushy feeling whenever I'm around him. I always get the feeling to want to run away with him and live happily ever after. We would too. Ever since 8th grade we've known each other, and he's just so great. I'm always so proud of him and he's always so caring of me. He was the one that sounded and seemed the most effected of all my friends, by my accident on the 25th of January. I love you Mike, and you don't even know how much I've looked up to you in the past years. No matter how much I was hurting by anything that was around me, I was always hoping that things would be better between us and that I'd be able to call myself your friend again. I know you were sorry and I just always loved you <-- by the way. e-mail me when you read this!
I love Todd "the goof"! Him and I became best friends around the second semester of 2001. He's awesome and he plays hockey. He's cute too. No props though, none for you. He's moving to Minnesota in mid august, and I'm going to miss him no doubt. He's having a going away party though, so that should be boring, but I've gotta show. And hey I need recognition in that paper, and send every paper that you're in to me too! k, buddy? e-mail me when you read this!
I lovemy Mom!My mom and I; we've had our history! We've been getting along a great deal better. We can finally converse about normal things but not things that have to do with anything important, not yet. I'm very weary for our future, but I hope we will get through this time. I'm looking forward to see how this all settles...hopefully it's moving to a mostly white neighborhood. Please find some way, Mom, to have patience with me, and understand where I'm coming from. Please be a little more patient and a little less easily agitated. I love you! e-mail me when you read this!
I love Evan! He's awesome, I used to tell him everything, then he started working a lot and I hadn't heard from him in a long time. My favorite was offroading and snowboarding and woring on cars with him.
I love Arlyn! She's a cool girl that I just started recently hanging out with. She think's that I'm a total freak on crack. Problem is, that I'm not on crack. She's fun to chill with because she's outgoing and I have fun trippin her out.
I love Todd very much. I do because for the past few years he was the only thing I knew that was real. The only thing that I could relate to, and the only person that I found that I could trust with my life, and who I could actually love. Life has taught me a few lessons. But Todd has taught me the rest. He told me what was in store for me and assured that in the long run, things would be alright. He reminded me to always think twice and to be nice to my mom. He's helped me out so much. I can just remember some of the hardest times with my friends, and the most annoying times with my mom. But he was always my constant. He was always there to poke my armpits or simply to hug when I was weary. Now...It's a different story. We're living different lives and coming home to different places and it's disturbing. I used to cry every time I thought about him. Used to cry every time I sat to think. I went through a while of depression because he wasn't there for me. It was to the point that my mom would get bent out of shape that we would even converse...so we started drifting. We've hung out a few times since the great disturbance though. And those few times were filled with happiness, presents, and big smiles, with me following him around like I was his shadow. I know why I do that now Todd, I talked to Trish, and I realized that it was a subconcious thing (until I really realize it) because I don't want you to leave me again. I want to eliminate all the chances of you going away. Isn't that nice and horrible to hear. Horrible I think, because it hurts whenever you do leave. I don't think I'll ever be able to get over that hurt either. But you know what the sad thing is? I've learned that I took his friendship for granted. I did because now, without him. I feel akward and it's like no one out there knows me. And no one out there really cares to. He was the only one that seemed to notice me for what I needed him to. And I guess I didn't enjoy it as much as I should've. Which is hard to believe because I loved him so much and I always cherished our chillins. He's still awesome. Luckily the world hasn't turned him into a fag *ahem* and hanging out with him is kinda like what it was before, just in scattered intervals. That quote, "you never know what you've got until it's gone" doesn't even relate to me what so ever. Not caring about what others think is still a hard thing for me to comprehend, and I wish that he were kinda here to guide me though it. But I just try to go with what he raised me to go with...and even though I struggle, I know that at least there's one person out there who doesn't suck. And at least one person that is genuine.
I love you Todd!!! {memories: MONKEYS..."Mike" @ Disney, whatta loser!...drinking at hong kong, shit--> that was not good... drinking at home, while falling into the wall, bashing the keyboard, and crying<-- not good either... my mom and her millions of years of Diablo...all the times I went with you to the gym, when you fully knew that I didn't want to go, but went anyways...the wierdo who remembered me for over 5 months at Kisho's...our wonderful trips to the cheesecake factories...our retirement home plans...the 2 stickers that I owe you for your Lamborghini...your brother<--god, there's so much to that. lol... the gay bar thing (o jesus) and the cocksucker...makin fun of my mom in like total obviousness, and her not getting it...the numbers 4 and 3 and 42 <---ur so wrong!... shopping for clothes at the mall <--which I miss so much... the many times I was cruel, and the few times I was nice...the word HALF-LIFE and it's definition, when you gave me the exact definiton which was just creepy...the fact that you didn't like it when I did my laundry because it made you think of me leaving for the weekend "the only time you do laundry is if you're goign somewhere", but most recently it has been because I have no underwear...the conversations that we had when I could talk to a logical person, back in the day. Because now I'm stuck with--->well, my mom... the fact that you never quite liked static-x but athat I nevertheless blared it, and you let me! it made me happy and how you enjoyed godsmack and ho you listened to the throbbingness of Eminem. yay, that's so cool! whereas my mom would shoot me in the head... how you used to throw all of my crap on the floor from my bed so you couls lay on it... how you always read books and how I'd force you to read the same sentance for hours... that damned N*Sync cd that Lauryn fukkin opened...how your Corvette is a piece of shit. haaa...and just the fecund fact that you know everything there is to know about my personality and you still find it in your heart to nod your head and smile...I MISS YOU!}
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