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Chapter 2

Harry settled into school life like he had the last six years. This year, though, was a little different than those past. He was finding it difficult to pay attention in one of his classes more and more as he attended them, and it was because of the teacher.

Ever since that first night they had been back, he had been trying to tell himself that he did not find Remus Lupin attractive for several reasons. First, he was his teacher. Those three words seemed to revolve around his brain, accompanied by terrible thoughts of what could happen if his feelings were found out - the few Slytherins left in Sixth and Seventh years would have a field day with the information, not to mention his own embarrassment at the situation.

Second, Remus went to school with his father. This was a little more difficult than the first, but he wasn't troubled by the age difference. It was the fact that he was more than a little scared that the other man would see his father and not Harry. He had been told he looked like his father so many times that it played like a broken record sometimes.

The third reason wasn't *as* big as the others, but was pretty much as overwhelming and immediate just the same. There was no getting around Remus' status as a werewolf. That fact didn't bother Harry at all, but from everything he had learned over the years he had known Remus, the curse that ruled his life once a month had stopped him from getting involved with anybody. He might have a way around it, since he had become an Animagus late last year - though the Ministry didn't know *that* - and would be able to be around Remus when he changed into a werewolf.

Added to all this, Harry wasn't sure if he even wanted to pursue a relationship with him - assuming that the feeling was mutual.. He *was* seventeen, but it was only physically. Mentally he felt a hundred, even more than that some days. Before, he had never entered a relationship because of the threat of Voldemort. Harry had vowed not to let another innocent like Cedric die just because they were close to him. It had been frightening enough knowing the Sirius and Remus had often been at the forefront of some of the battles between the order and Ministry against the Death Eaters.

He wasn't sure how he would handle a relationship, although the more he looked at Remus, the more he wanted it.

He lowered his head to his desk as his head started to hurt. He was supposed to be writing an essay on advanced counter-curses for DADA, and instead he was drooling over the teacher. If this kept up he wouldn't be able to do anything, let alone graduate.

Looking up at the clock, he found that it was almost time for quidditch practice. Resolving to finish this later, he grabbed his broom and hoped he could clear his mind with flying.

******

It was the first Halloween ever at Hogwarts in seven years that Harry could remember not having anything happen – well, at least other than the feast. A good thing, yes, in that for once he didn't have some strange adventure or something. This year had been different – and normal – but he wasn't sure he liked it. In fact, it was quite boring.

At least when he wasn't looking at Remus.

Ron and Hermione were off in their own little world for most of the night, so they never saw that Harry's attention was directed at the teacher's table far more than it should have been. Only Seamus had noticed, but all he had done was give Harry a wink and turn back to his conversation with Neville on their chances at winning the upcoming Quidditch game against Ravenclaw.

Harry watched as Remus had an animate discussion with Professor Stellar, all the while wishing he could be up there sitting with him. It would be nice to talk to the older man without once involving something discussed in class. He wanted to know everything about Remus – what books he liked to read, what his favorite food was, what he thought of events that were happening all over the world – even if the other man never let him get too close.

He could live with that. It'd be painful, but he could.

For now, though, Harry would content himself with watching, waiting for the chance to *talk* with Remus. Even if it didn't come until the end of the year.

******

Christmas found Hogwarts wrapped in an insulating blanket of snow. The weather had turned sharp and cold mid-November, bringing with it the first of several snowstorms. Some students had complained about the bitter cold of some of the draftier classrooms, but most had found they could release their stresses in the snowball fights that sprung up every so often. It wasn't like they had to worry about a Dark Lord running around anymore.

Coming in after an invigorating fight to get ready for the Christmas feast, Harry laughed as Sirius shook snow off his collar much, as he would in his dog form. Next to him, Remus was dumping his boots, giving meaningful looks at Sirius (who ignored them) and Ron (who smiled sheepishly in apology). Hermione dragged along a shivering Colin Creevey, who had been caught in the crossfire between Harry and Sirius. Harry was tempted to apologize himself, but Colin's smile stopped him. The camera-happy sixth year still hadn't gotten over his hero worship of Harry, and him saying he was sorry would only exacerbate the problem.

Trudging up to Gryffindor's wing and tower, the group started to separate as Ron and Colin were dropped off at the portrait of the fat lady, Hermione stopping as well. Harry figured that she wanted to tell Ron something, but considering that half of his clothes were in her room, he was confused that he wasn't following Hermione to her and Harry's common room.

Harry found it was easier to be in a group when Remus around, and now that it was down to him, the other man, and Sirius, he was starting to get a little nervous. Muttering that he would meet up with them in a little bit, he hurried up to his room, the next door down from Remus'.

Harry berated himself as he pulled his sopping sweater off, leaving him shivering and bare-chested in his room. He had been caught several times that afternoon by snowballs that he could have avoided if he hadn't been looking at his teacher. Remus' cheeks had been pink with exertion while his eyes had seemed to glow. Their amber color had caught Harry's attention quite often, leaving him wide open to Sirius' assault.

He had just changed his pants and was about to put on a dry shirt when there was a knock on the door. Figuring it was Hermione to tell him to get a move on it, he opened it up to find Remus.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Remus inwardly gulped before hopefully saying hello.

Harry has definitely grown up.

The younger man turned and waved him in, pulling the shirt in his hands over his head. Remus thought it a shame to cover that body - before stopping himself for thinking such a thought.

"Did I take too long?" Harry was asking as he pulled his shoes on.

Remus pulled his mind from the proverbial gutter and shook his head. "No. I just wanted to tell you that Professor Dumbledore has planned something for the dinner tonight, and he wanted you and Hermione to be there a couple of minutes early so he could give you instructions."

"Oh." Harry stood up. "Are you going down there now? 'Cause I'll walk with you if you are."

Dumbly nodding his head, Remus stumbled from the room. Cursing himself and thanking Merlin that Harry didn't see it, he and the younger man made their way to the Great Hall behind Hermione. Remus was yelling at himself for doing such a thing, especially considering his reaction to seeing his student half-dressed. What he didn't know was that Harry was pretty much thinking the same thing.

******

The feast was a loud affair. Several first years had stayed for the holidays, and were still excited from opening presents. Harry smiled as he remembered his first Christmas at Hogwarts. That had been the year he had gotten his father's invisibility cloak from Dumbledore. That cloak had seen many adventures, but was now stored at the bottom of his trunk. Death Eaters on the Hogwarts Express had damaged it in an attack at the beginning of his sixth year, and he hoped that it could be fixed. There were several tears in it and if the cloak swung just right, you could see its wearer.

This Christmas, though, was the best so far, since Sirius was sitting next to him. Ron was on his other side, and Harry breathed a sigh of relief that Remus was on the other side of Sirius. It would be torture to be this close to him when he was already flustered. Both of them had stuttered slightly before parting in the Great Hall, Harry to talk to Dumbledore and Hermione, and Remus to find Sirius, who was waiting impatiently for dinner. Harry figured that he was embarrassed from catching his student half-clothed, while he was pretty much embarrassed by the same thing.

The feast eventually wound down as the first years started to wander towards their common rooms, most of the others following them. Finally, only the teachers, Sirius, and the trio remained, leaving them in peace and quiet.

Harry watched as Snape left, exhausted by the afternoon and evening's events. He would never fully understand the man, but he had never wanted something like this to happen. It pained him to see Slytherin's Head of House like that, especially on a day like this. A wave of sadness rolled over him as he thought of all the people that should have been here for this Christmas, but he tried not to let it show. He didn't want the others to get sad, even though he was pretty sure that at one point or another each of them had thought the same thing today.

Eventually, Dumbledore stood up and invited them all to the order's old room for a more private celebration. The headmaster's eyes had twinkled fiercely, and Harry was curious to know what was going on. He followed after saying goodnight to Hermione and Ron, who had winked at Harry. Sighing, he shook his head as he walked behind Sirius and Remus.

"What is it, Harry?" Sirius asked as he looked back at his godson.

Harry smiled. "Nothing."

"Sure," Sirius said. "You wouldn't be smiling like that if it was nothing."

The younger man stopped at the knowing looks of the other men. "Just Ron and Hermione..."

"Ah!" Remus nodded, understanding - even if he didn't look comfortable at the thought.

Sirius clasped a hand to his chest in a dramatic fashion. "Young love." He mock-wept at the thought. "To see such happiness amongst the young lovers...."

Harry laughed at his godfather as he put his other hand to his brow. Sirius spoiled the look with a scowl at his godson.

Remus shook his as he left the two behind him. "Are you two coming?"

Sirius and Harry exchanged a look before nodding. "Sure thing!" they chorused, before looking at each other and bursting into laughter.

Arriving at the order meeting room, the three found Dumbledore in charge of a *large* bowl of punch. Harry guessed that it was of the alcoholic variety and couldn't resist. He figured he was young only once and took to drinking with gusto. An hour later, though, he was starting to regret it as his vision was starting to blur. It was almost as if he were wearing his glasses again and they had slipped off his nose.

"Padfoot?"

Harry could dimly hear Remus talking to Sirius, but wasn't really following what they were saying.

"Harry?"

He opened his eyes to find a pair of amber orbs looking at him in concern. "Wha?"

"Time to go to bed, Harry."

Harry found himself standing upright as the world shifted for a couple of seconds. "I don't like this," he muttered as he was ushered from the room. He missed the admonishing look that passed between Remus and Sirius as he tried to keep his balance.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Remus mentally yelled at his friend – as well as himself – as he half-dragged Harry down various corridors towards where their rooms were. He had wanted Sirius to take his godson back to his room, but somehow the black-haired man had managed to get him to do with it.

It was not looking good at the moment. For Sirius. Or himself.

All Remus had been able to think about the entire afternoon was his reaction to Harry being half-naked. Several times he had caught himself trying to undress the boy, reprimanding himself that this was James' boy. His old friend definitely wouldn't appreciate these lustful thoughts about his son.

Other times he would find himself thinking of his promise to never get involved with anyone. He had made that mistake only once, before he found the male form more attractive than the female, and the girl had been terrified of him. He had been dating her for a couple of months, and thought that she was to be trusted and could handle being told about his lycanthropy. He had thought it wise to tell her, especially since he really wanted to kiss her. He didn't get the kiss, not when she had looked at him as if it was the full moon and she was his next meal.

She hadn't talked to him again. Oh, she never told anybody his secret, and went to her grave never saying a word, but it had been hard. She had been one of Lily's roommates and having class with her every single day for the next two years had been awful.

Remus knew he wouldn't be able to cope with that sort of rejection again. And yet, he didn't think that Harry would mind....

No, he promised himself, I will not think about Harry like that.

Harry was his student; he was twenty years younger than he was; he was one of his best friends' son. He could keep on listing all of the things that he felt *why* he shouldn't even think of Harry in a romantic sense. But that was the trouble. All afternoon his brain had kept returning to the sight of Harry standing in the doorway to his room, shirt in his hands and the weak winter sunlight hitting the slightly sweaty skin of his chest.

When had *that* happened? When had Harry gone through all these physical changes that were starting to get Remus hot and bothered? Thinking over the last year, he didn't exactly know. He did know that such changes didn't quite happen overnight, but there were always some things in the wizarding world that offered no explanation.

Before his final fight with Voldemort, Harry had been as skinny as he always had been. The boy never went through the growth spurt all of his friends had gone through, though Remus suspected it was because of the stress of fighting, and the malnutrition he had suffered at the Dursleys over the summers.

Shaking his head to clear his thoughts, Remus steered Harry down another hallway, trying to get him to turn right. Instead, the boy kept walking straight a couple more steps and right into Remus, breaking his concentration of where they were going for a brief second. Their slight brush had reminded Remus of Harry's body, and his cheeks began to slightly flush in reaction. It was a good thing that Harry wasn't paying attention at the moment, because he would have had a hard time explaining just what was going on.

It wasn't the physical changes he had seen earlier in the day that had caught his eye. He now admitted to himself that he had often thought of Harry over the last four months. The boy – Remus really couldn't call him that, since no *boy* would have been able to defeat Voldemort – seemed happier than he had been in his third year. He laughed more, smile more, and definitely seemed more open. During their Patronus sessions all those years ago, Remus had wondered what had made the boy so shy, when both his parents had been loud (James) and openly friendly with practically the whole school (Lily).

But now... the young man had become what Remus had always dreamt of in partner he had always wished for – the one he dreamed about in spite of his promise. He wasn't sure if he could handle it.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Harry watched the hallways pass by in a haze. He knew he was walking, but wasn't sure where exactly he was. He was too focused on the man that was guiding him.

Remus smells good, Harry thought as they turned a corner. He had gotten a good sniff when he had collided with him when he missed the corner, and now all of his thoughts were centered on it.

"Here we are, Harry."

He blinked up at Remus but didn't move away from him. Harry watched curiously as the other man sighed before opening the door and guiding him over to his bed. Getting the hint as Remus pushed at him, Harry sat on the bed as he pulled his shoes off.

"Harry, do you want to take your robe off?"

Green eyes blinked slowly before focusing on the other man. Nodding, then shaking his head, Harry attempted to stand before Remus could move away. As he did, Harry found himself fully up against Remus, the other man's arms around him as he tried to keep his balance.

"Harry?"

Harry's attention was drawn towards his mouth as it spoke his name. It was only a couple of inches from his own, making it look that much more tempting. In the haze of his alcohol-induced mind, he had only one thought - how soft were his lips? Moving to find out, Harry pressed his lips to Remus'.

They *are* soft, Harry thought. Sweet tasting, too. He leaned in for a deeper taste, opening his lips slightly to breathe in Remus' scent again before closing his eyes and letting himself get lost in the kiss.

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