Chapter Six

 

  James sat back on the couch and watched as Harry opened the gift he and Lily had gotten him. He had looked totally overwhelmed by the idea that they had even gotten him one - it was if he hadn't been expecting to get anything in return for the gifts that he had made all of his friends. It had made him think about the other boy's guardians and just why they had treated Harry like they had. Then that thought reminded him of everything that had happened in the two months since his arrival. Between the slow trickle of memories - that wasn't anywhere near what Harry admitted to wanting them to be - and the Dark Lord's attempts to recruit him, Harry had had the friends he had collected in an uproar. Enough to the point where all of them had tried to work together.

  It hadn't worked, much like Lily had predicted it wouldn't. There was too much enmity between Sirius and Snape for that. James could correlate that to the Incident in fifth year. And while it had taken a while for Peter to warm up to the other boy, he was staunchly defending he newfound friend against some of the taunts of the other houses. That wasn't to say that there wasn't some jeering within Gryffindor either. Still, the meeting between Snape, Abbott and a couple of other Hufflepuffs that James really didn't know, and their group had decided they would just work to ensure that Harry was comforted and protected from detractors.

  James was especially proud of Remus and Lily's charms. The two of them had come up with several that would protect Harry against certain types of attack magic. They wouldn't protect him against a lot, but they would at least warm him of attacks.

  A smile twisted his lips as he thought of Lily. His girlfriend had adopted Harry as the brother she never had. At first, James had been unbelievably jealous of the situation until Lily had sat him down and lectured him on the foolish behavior he was engaged in. At the beginning, he'd thought she was talking about the midnight Beater's game he and Sirius had played the night before, but had counted himself lucky that he'd had the foresight not to mention it. Though he wasn't sure she hadn't found out about that after all.

  He looked up and saw that Harry had now opened the gift Snape had sent him. The glass vials held a purple liquid. James dimly remembered that potion from class earlier in the year. It was a Dreamless Sleep potion, making James think more kindly of Snape for a brief moment. The other boy must have known of Harry's nightmares. James could still hear him screaming that one night he had spent in the Gryffindor seventh year boys' dorm. The shrill yells had sent shivers running along James' spine. Harry hadn't remembered anything about it, but James could still hear "He's not the spare" being mumbled over and over again.

  James wasn't sure if he really trusted Snape, but if Harry did, he would make sure that they could meet up with each other. He was glad that the Slytherin had gone home for the holidays - as had most of the castle. In Gryffindor, only he, Lily, and Remus had stayed. Everyone else had wanted to spend time with their families as much as they could. There were a couple of Hufflepuff second years, and Randall Turpin, the only Ravenclaw to stay at the castle, and only because his entire family were Aurors and the Death Eaters seemed to be pushing hard.

  Of Voldemort... not a lot had been heard from the Dark Lord after his last attempt to get Harry to join the Death Eaters. Which hadn't been fun.

  James wanted to laugh as he remembered the panic that had spread across the black owl's appearance in the Great Hall. Normally the color of the owl meant that someone in a person's family had died. When the owl landed in front of Harry, though, everyone had been puzzled - at least until Harry broke open the seal.

  Voldemort's voice had burst out loud, sending several students into a faint and more than that screaming in fright. Looking closer at the bird in a surreal moment of focus and disconnection from what was happening next to him, James noticed that it was snowy owl - so the black was even more unnatural. Then some of the things that the Dark Lord was saying started to sink in. Voldemort, based on the display of power he had produced in a recent Defense Against the Dark Arts class dealing with a Patronus (which made James wonder if Harry really did know about his animagus form after all), had decided Harry was a very good candidate to join him, and that - this time - he was prepared to offer him a place as second-in-command.

  All of which hadn't endeared him to the Slytherins and in particular Lucius Malfoy. And now, with the holidays, the house of Slytherin was conspicuous in their absence from the castle. Harry had been worried about this when he found out that Snape was going home as well. As much as James didn't like Snape, he thought that there was a reason to be worried. Snape had only gone home one other time in seven years and that had been the first, now that he thought about it.

  "James?"

  Lily's voice broke into his thoughts. He looked up to find his girlfriend sitting on one of the arms of the chair James was sitting in. Her bright green eyes were bright as the light of the fire touching her face. Her red hair framing here face as she leaned over, Lily pressed a kiss to James' cheek.

  "So what do you think of Harry?"

  James smiled. "I hope that this is a much better memory than the few he has."

  Lily frowned before nodding in agreement. "Sometimes I feel so sorry for him. It's got to be hard not knowing what could trigger a memory. And some of them seem pretty bad."

  "Just don't let him know that," he warned. He watched Harry and Remus set up a game of wizard chess.

  "I know," Lily sighed. "I just wish that we could help him with it."

  James stared at her. "Lily, he won't take any more help. Most of what we've done so far is starting to chafe him." His voice quieted. "I know it would me."

  She sighed again. "I...."

  He pulled Lily down into his lap and wrapped his arms around her, keeping her close. "I know, Lils. I know."

 

******

  Severus held back the tears until he reached the relative safety of his rooms. He wasn't truly safe anywhere in Snape Manor as long as his father was in residence.

  He stared at the ugly, black tattoo that marred the pale skin of his left forearm. Severus had fought his father for so long not to get it. He should have known just by the request itself was bogus. Severus had been so happy, though, to hear from his grandmother that he'd forgotten to be wary of the sudden missive. Now his grandmother was no longer among the living and he had this thing on him.

  The tears he let fall were a luxury now, since there was no doubt in his mind that his life was over. Harry would probably never want to speak to him every again, and may even report him to the Ministry. His one true friend that he'd ever made, and he was gone with the appearance of the skull and snake that marked him as a Death Eater.

  Severus finally cried himself out in the middle of the dark night. There were no clouds in the sky to disguise the bright stars on the night of the new moon. The wind was chilly as he opened the window - there must have been a storm in the making in the North Atlantic. Even now he could smell the salt on the air as it blew the five miles to Snape Manor.

  He stayed at the window for as long as he could stand. Severus just wished he could numb his mind the same way as the wind did his arms and hands. Then, maybe, he wouldn't have to feel the shame and self-pity that wanted to overwhelm him now that the anger had settled down. It was times like these that Severus wished one could use the killing curse on oneself. Then he would be able to save himself the misery of the abandonment by the only friend he'd every made.

  Finally, as the sun crept up in a blood-red sky, Severus resigned himself to a lonely destiny.

 

******

  It wasn't working.

  Severus wasn't sure why, but all he knew was that Harry was not acting like he'd thought he would. At first he'd tried ignoring him, figuring that, sooner or later, Harry would give up on trying to talk to him. A month later and Severus decided he had to switch tactics, and had become even more rude than Lucius and his groups. While the Gryffindors and Hufflepuffs had tried to persuade Harry from giving up, the boy who couldn't be sorted wasn't detoured from his mission.

  Now that three months had passed since the return from holidays, he was ready to admit defeat. And it was pretty damn hard to do so. He'd only done it once before and that had been when he'd tried to argue with the Sorting Hat about being put in Slytherin when he wanted into Ravenclaw. He wasn't even going to think about what happened over the holidays as a defeat. It was hard to do much of anything when under the Imperius curse and fighting it all you are worth.

  "Severus?"

  Speaking of the determined boy... He looked up from his usual seat at the library to find the other boy watching him with concern, his green eyes shining even in the dim light.

  "Harry."

  Something must have shown in his voice because Harry threw down his bag and wrapped both arms around the taller boy.

  "Oh, Sev. You can tell me."

  Severus shook his head. "No. You'll hate me, and I can't handle that."

  "Sev?" Harry laid his cheek on top of Severus' head. "Please tell me."

  He allowed himself a brief moment to lean into Harry's lithe body. He could feel a reassuring heartbeat under his right ear, and there was a slight scent of spring that Severus recognized as being Harry's own. He went to sit up, but Harry's arms tightened.

  There was a small crackle of energy that made Severus realize that he had closed his eyes, so he opened them to find Lucius and his cronies on the other side of the table.

  "Trying to recruit for the Dark Lord now, Snape?" the blond heir to the Malfoy estate said.

  Severus glared, while inside he was cringing. "Hardly," he made himself say while willing Harry to - if he couldn't forgive him - at least understand what he was going to say next. "I'm just keeping an eye on him like I was told to do. "You get in trouble with Him because you are too flashy when doing a job, thus drawing everyone's attention. To prove my case I'll bring up the incident with that Hufflepuff at the Quidditch game two weeks ago."

  Lucius flushed a little, but didn't say anything.

  "I am much subtler than you, thus having gained more favor than you in His eyes."

  Harry's arms hadn't let go at all while Severus was speaking. Now that the Slytherin was through, he loosened them enough to stand up all the way.

  "Malfoy, I don't think that I have ever said this to another person, but fuck off!" There was another crackle of energy and then Slytherin contingent was gone.

  Severus looked around. No, they were the ones who had left. He didn't recognize the room, but it looked comfortable and lived in.

  "Where are we?" he asked as he watched Harry go through an open doorway at the back of the mid-size room. The walls were painted a soft cream, and the color was repeated in the carpet as the background to the silver and gold fleur-de-lis that were patterned on it. Two chairs sat before the fireplace, while a sofa and table were in the center of the room. Some of Harry's papers and books lay scattered across the dark stained table, in spite of the large desk tucked into a corner.

  "In my rooms," Harry answered as he came back into the room. In each hand was a glass of pumpkin juice.

  Severus almost smiled before remembering how he got here. "Did you apperate me here?"

  Harry shrugged. "You could call it that, but I've read you can't apperate anywhere in Hogwarts."

  The seventh year Slytherin could hold back the laugh this time. "Just because you've read it doesn't mean that it's absolutely true."

  A cheeky grin was flashed at him. "I didn't say I believed it to be true."

  Severus eyed the boy who stood across from him. He finally understood why the Sorting Hat hadn't been able to place him in any one house. The distinguishing characteristics of each were an integral part of his personality. It didn't have anything to do with his lack of memories (which was the widely believed theory in Hogwarts) and everything that was a part of his soul. Loyal, brave, smart, and cunning - the cherished traits of the founders were combined in a boy-almost-man that could only remember his first name.

  He looked at the other boy, who was smirking behind his glass, and shook his head at his antics. "Sometimes I wonder about you."

  "You do?" Harry grinned in a disturbingly James Patter sort of way. "I do that all the time. And I think that everyone else is doing the same. I'm thinking, Sev, that you're just a little behind the times these days."

  Severus growled. "I'm not behind the times. I just take a little longer than most people before I make up my mind. People who make quick judgments are annoying."

  Harry looked at him intently and tilted his head slightly to the right. "Then that must be why it's taken you this long to remind yourself that I will always be your friend."

  The taller boy shuddered slightly before he could stop himself, before collapsing on the surprisingly comfy sofa. Severus had been dreading this moment every since that awful night that seemed forever ago and only last night.

  "Harry...."

  The boy he was addressing sat close to him, thigh brushing thigh. Severus barely controlled the blush that threatened.

  Harry pulled Severus' teacup from numb fingertips.

  "You can tell me, Sev."

 

******

  James was startled when Harry suddenly popped up from the middle of the wall. The boy they had started to call Joker, after the song Lily had introduced to him one weekend in Hogsmeade with a smuggled record, had red-rimmed eyes, the skin surrounding them slightly puffy. James stood up, ignoring the slide of books to the floor from his lap.

  "Harry?"

  He flung an arm around the smaller boy's shoulders and guided him to the nearest seat.

  "What's wrong, Harry?" James asked, glad that he was the only one in the room at the moment. He was especially glad of it when Harry told him.

  "I need to start seeing Sev on the sly," Harry said as he composed himself. "If I don't, he might be killed."

  "What!?" James exclaimed. "Killed?"

  Harry nodded. "His father..."

  "You can tell me, Harry. I won't tell any one else if you don't want me to."

  The other boy hesitated for a moment before nodding again. "You can tell Lily if you want. But... you know most of the hallways in Hogwarts, don't you?"

  "Yes," James answered, seeing where this was going. "You want me to show you them."

  Harry nodded.

  "So you can see Snape without endangering him."

  Another nod.

  "I'll do it, then."

 

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