Title: ABH Never Alone

Author: Leiasky

Rating: PG (Don't get used to it)

Summary: Qui-Gon comforts you in a time of need.

Feedback: leiasky@aol.com

Archive: Yes if you like.

Author's Notes: The story Qui-Gon recites at the end was inspired by the book "Celtic Fairy Tales' by Joseph Jacobs.

Thanks to all my friends who helped me get through last week. You know who you are. {Hugs}

Never Alone

"Breathe, just breathe." Comes the soft voice from behind you. Large hands rest on your shoulders, holding you tightly. Your body shakes from the sobs but his grasp is firm and comforting. "Breathing will make it easier to calm your mind." His voice is tender but he makes no move to enfold you in his arms. He waits patiently for you to invite him.

"My mind has been scattered to the winds and it's increasingly difficult to remember what to do next. Everything needs to be done now. I don't have the time or the energy…." You sigh and lean your back against his chest. He is a solid foundation in which you can attempt to gather your jumbled thoughts.

One strong arm wraps around your shoulder and holds you tight. A large hand cups your cheek, brushing strands of wet hair away from your eyes. "It may not seem like it now, but everything will be all right."

"Easy for you to say." The words are broken up by your sobs. "You are not going through this." You immediately regret your words and curse under your breath. You'd been so careful to control your emotions the last few days, knowing that you were on edge a little more than usual.

"I would not wish for any I love to go through this. But it is the way of life. All we can do is flow along with the tide." His fingers trace slow circles on your skin, comforting in their own small way. "You will never forget, but the pain will lessen over time." He turns you in his arms and presses a soft kiss to your forehead. "I am here for you. I will go through this with you if you simply request it."

You suck back a sob and lay your head against his chest. "Just hold me. Please."

"Anything for you, love." Strong arms tighten around your shoulders, creating a bubble of security

where nothing can touch you. He holds you in silence, waiting for you to speak. He knows there is nothing he can say to ease your pain.

"I thought it would end. I thought it was over. I thought burying myself in my work would make me forget. But now I feel more alone than ever." You murmur into his chest. Your tears wet his tunic, darkening it against your pale cheeks.

"You will never be alone." He whispers, large hands absently rubbing at your shoulders. The simple gesture offers comfort in the face of the fears that threaten to overwhelm your already befuddled mind. "I will be here if you need me."

And he always has been. Whenever you needed an understanding ear, a comforting voice, he was always there for you. Whenever you needed to rant or yell about your workload, a particularly annoying Senator or just something you later feel was so petty you should not have mentioned it in the first place, he was there for you, listening patiently.

Your body trembles even in his strong embrace and your wrap your arms around his waist, holding him tightly.

"Look at me," His soft voice commands and you lift your head slowly. The darkness has shadowed his face but the unmistakable blue eyes gaze down at you with compassion and love. A large thumb slides along your cheek and wipes away the lingering tears.

You close your eyes and take a deep breath, your body shivering in the evening chill as well as from his gentle touch. You tremble once again when you feel soft lips kiss away the tears slipping down your cheek. Your eyelids flutter when the soft lips touch them. You feel your head tilted back and breathe deeply when his lips slant across yours with the barest hint of a kiss.

He holds you for a long time in silence, simply shielding you from the cool breeze. His cloak is large enough for two and you breathe deeply, inhaling the unique scent that has become embedded into the material. "I will stand here with you for as long as you wish to remain," His soft voice breathes into your ear. "But you are trembling, and not just from the tears and cold."

"Please don't leave," You beg and your arms tighten around him. You know you have no right to keep him from his duties but you feel safe and secure in his arms.

You can feel him smile against your temple. He presses a gentle kiss there and whispers, "Little one, I am not going anywhere. But removing you from this night air would be preferable to feeling you tremble in the chilly breeze."

You slant your head toward the blinding light coming from inside the banquet room and wince. "I can't- go back there. Not like this."

He shakes his head slowly. "Where would you like to go?"

You think for a moment, your mind unable to form coherent thoughts. You want him to hold you, to comfort you. You want him to make you forget. And you'd be a fool if you didn't want him to kiss you again. But he has a great many other duties and you are keeping him from them. "Home," You whisper. "I just want to go home." You can feel his body move and it takes your mind a second to kick in and

follow. He keeps you wrapped in the dark cloak, shielding you from the elements. You slip through the back entrance unnoticed.

Revelers and partiers skip by you and your escort and you bury your head in his tunic to keep them from seeing you in this rare emotional state. You are not one to ask for comfort and are certainly not used to receiving it. Others seeing you in this condition would be a great embarrassment.

"I will make excuses for you. "

You stop for the lifts that will take you to your temporary quarters and crane your neck to look at him. "Thank you. For everything."

"There is no need to thank me, little one." You step into the lift and it

begins to rise.

You chuckle despite yourself and look away, embarrassed.

A small smile splits his well-cut lips and you see the unspoken question there.

You meet his eyes and smile slightly.

"That term. It makes me think you are speaking to a child."

He twines a finger through your damp hair and bends to press a gentle kiss against your temple. "A term of endearment, I assure you."

You nod as the door slides open and you are faced with a long, dark hallway.

His arms tighten around you for support as you make the long trek to the rooms you'd been assigned. Large, accommodating quarters to be sure, but too spacious for simply yourself and your aides, when they chose to sleep here. The door slides open and you fight the urge to run to the bedroom, lock the door, curl into a ball and hide.

He senses your desire to hide and immediately leads you to the bedroom, but it is not how you'd left it. The room is now lit by fragrant candles placed strategically around the room. Their scent is immediately relaxing. Soft music plays in the background and you turn to him. "For you, little one." His voice is soft, the flickering light causing shadows to dance across his features.

"Thank you," You whisper as he leads you to the bed.

He kneels and removes your high-laced boots, rubbing your tired and sore feet. He swings your legs so that they rest on the cushions and leans down to press a soft kiss to each of your fingers.

You grip his hand tightly and curl your body into a ball. Sobs slip through your control and he embraces you wordlessly.

"Nothing I can say will make you feel better. So I ask this. What can I do?" A large hand caresses your cheek, drawing your eyes to his.

"Stay with me. Hold me. Please don't let me go." You plead, struggling to keep the tears from slipping down your cheeks.

"Never." He lifts you into his arms and lies beside you on the bed, curling his body around yours, comforting with actions rather than words. He breaks the silence after a few minutes and shifts into a sitting position. "I've acquired some Alderaanian sweet wine that will help you relax, if you would like a glass?"

You stare. You'd never known him to drink.

He returns the stare and grins, reading your thoughts easily. "Normally, no. Tonight, I will make an exception."

"Just give me the bottle. One glass won't do." You reach for his hand but he lifts them far above your head and out of your reach.

"One glass is all you need."

You've not the energy to argue and allow him to place the rim of the glass to your lips. You close your eyes and allow the sweetness to pass through your lips, savoring it, rolling it around your tongue before swallowing.

"Very good."

"If you will allow," he stands and you watch him carefully move around your room, gathering objects you never noticed were there, "A massage will relax you and I've been told that’s something these hands are very good at."

You laugh despite your grief. "I'm sure there are other things." You could go on, but you've no energy. Nor do you have any desire to embarrass him. You stand and smile. "Let me remove these restraining clothes to make things easier."

He bows at the waist, his eyes sparkling. "As you wish."

When you return, you are wearing a silken, ankle-length shift, thin straps holding it in place over your shoulders. The slits up each side ensure that he will be able to reach more than just your ankles. You lay on your stomach and close your eyes, listening to his soft voice hum along with the equally soft music.

"Relax, and let me know if anything becomes uncomfortable."

"Doubtful." You smile into the soft cushions as long fingers wrap themselves around your ankle.

------------------------

Sleep tugs at your eyelids as his hands move slowly along the curves of your body. Squeezing a tense muscle here, caressing a sensitive area there, his hands move slowly across your bare and covered skin. Careful attention is given to every portion of your body that his hands come into contact with and you find yourself boneless beneath his ministrations. You feel him move and your eyes snap open. "Don't leave."

"You're tired, little one." He leans over you, his breath warm against your cheek. "It is best if you sleep."

You close your eyes, pushing away the feelings of desertion that sweep over you. He has his own duties to attend to. You've taken up too much of his precious time already. Silence settles after you whisper a barely audible, "Ok." Your eyes remain closed. You are afraid if you open them, he will see the tears that have gathered there. You feel him move and you shiver until his lips press softly against your cheek.

"I will return. You have my word."

You nod, unwilling to attempt to use your voice, as he turns and walks out of your bedroom.

-----------------------

You've been crying for hours. After he'd left, you'd not been able to go back to sleep. Instead, you'd lay there and wet the pillow with your tears. The candles have gone out and you are sitting in the darkness, left with the faint aroma of musk and spice, the only indication that he'd been there at all. Now, you sit sipping at another glass of wine, your third since he'd left. Still sleep will not come. You wonder if this pain will ever go away. If the helplessness and the confusion you feel will ever be replaced by the way your life used to be. Betrayal so sudden cuts deep and you know the wounds will never heal. You'll never forget, and you're sure you'll never forgive either. You don't bother to wipe away the fat tears that slip down your cheeks. There is no way to stop them. There is no one there to see them. You've lost the energy to care.

The brave front you'd put up for the last few days has taken a toll on your body and your emotions. You don't care what others think of you anymore.

The door slides open and you blink against the harsh light that streams into the room. Sobs escape your lips when you see your long-time friend, who'd held and comforted you earlier in the evening, walk toward you with a small smile.

"My apologies. I was delayed longer than I expected." He kneels at your feet and reaches toward your face to cup a wet cheek in his hand. "You've not slept?" The concern in his eyes is evident and you shake your head. He bends and scoops you into his arms, pressing you tightly against him. Large, strong arms, wrap completely around you, and you lay your head against his chest.

You stifle more sobs as he spoons his body around yours and pulls you against him.

"Sleep now. I will be here when you wake."

You arch your neck until you can see his eyes, staring down at you with concern. You lift your head and hesitantly press your lips to his, silently praying he will not pull away. Rejection would crumble to pieces what sanity you have left. You close your eyes tightly and deepen the kiss, relieved to feel him move his lips ever so slightly against yours in return.

"Sleep, little one." He whispers and you can feel his slight use of the Force against your body.

You close your eyes and bury your face in his neck allowing sleep to claim your exhausted body for the first time in days.

-----------------------------

You breathe deeply and shift your head away from the moonlight filtering into the bedroom. Your cheek presses against a bare chest and your eyes snap open, your mind momentarily forgetting in whose arms you had fallen asleep. You'd slept very little, tossing and turning in his arms, your mind wanting to continue to work even after your body demanded rest.

He is sound asleep, chest rising and falling with a even pace and you flatten your hand against his chest to reassure yourself that he is still here and this isn't a dream. You close your eyes and listen to the steady beat of his heart, allowing the rhythm to lull you into a restless sleep. You awaken, his arms wrapped tightly around you, his skin wet where it has caught your tears.

"Wake, little one. It was a dream." His voice is scratchy from sleep but soothing nonetheless.

You breathe deeply and stifle the sobs that threaten to overtake your body. You rub your cheek against his chest, and tighten your arms around him.

His hands fall to your shoulders, rubbing the soft skin in slow soothing circles. You moan softly as callused hands, worn from years of physical training, trace patterns across your skin. He stares down at you, concern etched into the lines of his eyes.

You slide a slim finger along a single crease at the corner of his eye and continue down his cheek. When it comes to a rest atop slightly parted lips, you smile.

"I….."

You shake your head. Speaking would ruin the moment. And for now, you want to remember him like this and waking in his arms.

Large fingers brush away strands of hair from your eyes, and you sigh.

"I want to tell you a story."

You nod and settle into his arms as he begins the fable. His voice deepens and the rich tones of his outer rim accent prevail over every other word. The tones rise and lower with each exclamation and you find yourself being carried along in this story of adventure, romance, chivalry and laughter. You chuckle and squeeze your eyes shut amidst the happy tears than now pool beneath your eyelids.

"Thank you," Laughter bubbles from your lungs as you struggle to breathe.

He presses a kiss to your forehead and smiles, leaning back against the cushions. He finishes the story with a wide smile, eyes bright with amusement.

"Where is that from?" You ask, tilting your head slightly so that you can see his face.

"An old fable from my home world."

"Is it true?"

He looks away, a far off look centering within the darkened sapphire eyes. When he looks at you, they sparkle and he is smiling widely. "Aren't they all?"

You both chuckle and he presses another kiss to your cheek. "Sleep, love. I'll be here when you wake."

THE END