Cultivators of the earth are the most valuable citizens.-Thomas Jefferson
Songs in dishonour of Saddam Hussein
Well they're building a gallows outside my cell I've got 25 minutes to go And the whole town's waitin' just to hear me yell I've got 24 minutes to go Well they gave me some beans for my last meal I've got 23 minutes to go But nobody asked me how I feel I've got 22 minutes to go Well I sent for the governor and the whole dern bunch with 21 minutes to go And I sent for the mayor but he's out to lunch I've got 20 more minutes to go Then the sheriff said boy I gonna watch you die got 19 minutes to go So I laughed in his face and I spit in his eye got 18 minutes to go Now hear comes the preacher for to save my soul with 13 minutes to go And he's talking bout' burnin' but I'm so cold I've 12 more minutes to go Now they're testin' the trap and it chills my spine 11 more minutes to go And the trap and the rope aw they work just fine got 10 more minutes to go Well I'm waitin' on the pardon that'll set me free with 9 more minutes to go But this is for real so forget about me got 8 more minutes to go With my feet on the trap and my head on the noose got 5 more minutes to go Won't somebody come and cut me loose with 4 more minutes to go I can see the mountains I can see the skies with 3 more minutes to go And it's to dern pretty for a man that don't wanna die 2 more minutes to go I can see the buzzards I can hear the crows 1 more minute to go And now I'm swingin' and here I go-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o!
25 Minutes to Go-Sung by Johnny Cash
Hangman, hangman, hold it a little while I think I see my friends coming Ridin' many mile So friends, you get some silver Did you get a little gold What did you bring me, my dear friends To keep me from the gallows pole What did you bring me to keep me from the gallows pole I couldn't get no silver, I couldn't get no gold You know that we're too damn poor To keep you from the gallows pole Hangman, hangman, hold it a little while I think I see my brother coming Ridin' many mile Brother, did you get me some silver D'you get a little gold What did you bring me, my brother To keep me from the gallows pole A-brother, I brought you some silver I brought a little gold I brought a little of everything To keep you from the gallows pole Yes, I brought you to keep me from the gallows pole Hangman, hangman, turn your head awhile I think I see my sister coming Riding' many mile, oh, whoo yeah Sister, I implore you, take him by the hand Take him to some shady palace Save me from the wrath of this man Please take him Save me from the wrath of this man, man, man, man, man, man Hangman, hangman, upon your face a smile Tell me that I'm free to ride Ride for many mile, mile, ohhh Oh, yes, you got a fine sister She warmed my blood from cold She warmed my blood to boiling hot To keep you from the gallows pole Your brother, he brought me silver Your sister warmed my soul But now I laugh and pull so hard And see you swinging on the gallows pole, yeah Cause now I laugh and pull so hard And see you swinging on the gallows pole Swingin' on the gallows pole Swingin' on the gallows pole Swingin' on the gallows pole Swingin' on the gallows pole, whoo I keep swingin', I keep swingin', I keep swingin' Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah See-saw, march to that door Oh, swing See-saw, march to that door Gonna swing Swingin' on the gallows pole Swingin' on the gallows pole Swingin' on the gallows pole
Gallows Pole-Sung by Led Zeppelin
And a Merry Fucking Christmas to You!
Last night while driving home from the poolroom I got pulled over by a
state trooper @$$hole. A truck in front of me had turned off by the Pomona grocery store and while I was getting up to speed, a car came up behind me. The jerkoff was following too close and his headlights were glaring off the windshield and mirrors of my car. Oncoming traffic kept the cock$ucker from passing, so when we came to a hill where there is both a fast and slow lane I moved over to let the rat b@$t@rd go on. So what does this $umbitch do but fall in behind me. I slowed down to about 35 and so did this copycat motherfu(ker. I gave a turn signal and pulled into the emergency lane and slowed waaaayyy down. Yep, you guessed it, so did that f@ggot. Just as I pulled back on the highway and was just about to kick it, he turned on the blue lights. I pulled back off the road in a not very pleasant mood. He came up to the car and asked "are you all right?" to which I responded "I'm fine, ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?" He asked why I had pulled over and I told the ..... (ran out of cuss words) that he was following too close and I was trying to let him go on. He responded with "If I had wanted to go on I would have passed you." I thought, yeah right you $umbitch, you were trying to bait me into breaking the speed limit and if you had waited just a couple of seconds I would have obliged. He asked for my driver's license and registration, I gave him my license and he went back to his car while I hunted up my registration. He came back after a minute or so, gave me back my driver's license and said that if I didn't want someone behind me to find some place and turn off...which was exactly what I had done when I pulled into the emergency lane. What an ignorant b@$t@rd! As he walked back to his car, he wished me a "Merry Christmas".
You might be a D Player
I saw this Billiards Digest thread the other day and thought I'd try the 10-ball drill it recommends to test your skill level. I scored 30 on my first attempt Thursday night, didn't get around to trying it Friday, and scored 34 on my second attempt last night. I'd settle for a 4 ball improvement over the next 8 sessions that it suggests you try to determine your level of play. After scratching on a 3-ball during one rack, I may have accomplished my best feat ever on a pool table. I took ball-in-hand on the 3 and banked it and followed in rotation by banking the 4, 5, 6, 7, and 8-balls.
A few days back I was having one of those nights when I couldn't make 3 balls in a row. I decided to try to beat the 4-ball ghost. After screwing it up 5 consecutive games, I finally succeeded and ran out the rest of the rack for good measure. I left on a winning note and decided to try again a couple of days later. On the first and second attempts I ran the whole rack and only shooting too easy on a 5-ball kept me from running out the third rack.
Pravda on the Cumberland
By my count the Tennessean
has endorsed 18 democrats and 1 republican. Being the contrary sort that I am I heartily endorse Jim Bryson for governor
Bob Corker for U. S. Senator
Michelle Russell for the 37th District State House
and a Yes vote on Amendment One to the Tennessee State Constitution.
What did Beth Harwell do to get endorsed by the Tennessean?
Update Bob Corker won his race against Jr. Ford. Amendment One won overwhelmingly. Jim Bryson and Michelle Russell both were defeated by wide margins.
Did you see the commercial about Jr. Ford and church?
You know the one where he learned right from wrong...now what would the good church people think when they find out that Jr. takes money from the folks at Playboy Magazine
RIP Col. Jeff Cooper
Jeff Cooper, a great American, has passed on at the age of 86.
Overalls, aluminum cans, and high gas prices
A couple of days back I stepped on the scales and that lyin' $umbitch went up to 205 pounds, by a strange coincidence my overalls have shrank. I could button one side with no problem but actually broke a sweat trying to get the other side. So I decided that I ought to see if I could get outside and exercise a bit to see if I can lose a couple of pounds and try again in a few days to fit in my now shrunken overalls. I got out yesterday and walked a total of 2.2 miles and accumulated seven cans during the stretch. Today I went 3 miles and added 14 more. I'm going to figure out what brands are most popular with litterbugs. Natural Light is currently in the lead. I guess the folks that used to go out and pick up cans on the side of the road can no longer afford to because of the increase in gas prices.
1st Person: This morning while driving to work a guy in a pick-up pulled out in front of me. At first he drove 55-60 but gradually slowed down to 45-50. We came to a 4-lane highway and slowpoke turned in speed demon gunning it up to 70 in a 55. What causes dumb@$$es to do things like that?
2nd Person: While at WalMart, I was perusing the magazines and an obese woman with a humongous @r$e pushed her cart down the aisle. She stopped and picked up a magazine entitled Diet and Exercise, replaced it and picked up another named Weight Loss. She gave it a cursory glance and left the magazine aisle, headed I suspect for the Twinkie section.
3rd Person: Still at WalMart, while in line to pay for my purchases, the guy in front of me only had a can of spray paint. The total was $5.07, he didn't have enough money. He gave the clerk a 5 dollar bill and asked if she had the 7 cents, she either didn't have it or wouldn't give it to him if she did, nor should she have. The guy started to go out to his truck to look for change, but rather than submit to waiting in line until his return, I paid the 7 cents for him.
What part of 81% do you not understand?
Three Memphis county commissioners have filed a lawsuit to overturn term limits in Shelby County.
Battle of the Caney Fork?
During the War Between the States a battle was fought along the Calfkiller River between guerillas under Champ Ferguson and Union Forces. A non-shooting affair has erupted along the banks of the Caney Fork. The City of Spencer in Van Buren county has permission from the State of Tennessee to release 250,000 gallons of treated wastewater from their sewer plant into the waters of the Caney Fork. A group calling themselves "Friends of the Caney Fork" formed to oppose this release. They recently convinced the White county commission to begin the process of imposing an "impact fee" of $1500.00 per day on the City of Spencer when their wastewater discharge begins. The strange thing about this turn of events is that White county releases treated wastewater, to the tune of 1,250,000 gallons per day, into the Calfkiller which is a tributary of the Caney Fork. Which begs the question, why are the so-called "Friends of the Caney Fork" so concerned about the Spencer discharge and not the White county discharge. Will they demand an impact fee also be imposed on White county? Will they shout from the rooftops about the need for land application of the White county wastewater? Will the White county commission realise how hypocritical this proposal makes them look? Methinks that since White county already releases 5 times the amount of that proposed by Van Buren county, the Van Buren county commission should create a resolution asking for an "impact fee" of $7500.00 per day be imposed on White county retroactive to the day that White county began releasing wastewater into the Calfkiller.
Obviously crime pays, or there'd be no crime.-G. Gordon Liddy
After reading this story about a "yob" getting 567,000 British pounds in compensation for injuries suffered while breaking the law, it makes this story about a WWII veteran who committed suicide because criminals had ruined his community almost understandable.
Hey, what about campaign ads?
Congresscritter Jim Moran (D-VA) has Erectile Dysfunction commercials in his sights. I can't say that I'm surprised at this the way that viewers are constantly inundated with them. Since he's going after commercials wouldn't it be nice if they would move all future campaign ads to the hours of 12:00 AM-5:00 AM on PBS and/or NPR stations. Thing about it, all that money that they spend on commercials going to public TV and radio, why they could wipe out the need for Federal subsidies... : )
Happy St. Patrick's Day
"O Paddy dear, and did ye hear the news that's goin' round?
The shamrock is by law forbid to grow on Irish ground!
No more Saint Patrick's Day we'll keep, his color can't be seen
For there's a cruel law ag'in the Wearin' o' the Green."
I met with Napper Tandy, and he took me by the hand,
And he said, "How's poor ould Ireland, and how does she stand?"
"She's the most distressful country that ever yet was seen,
For they're hanging men and women there for the Wearin' o' the Green."
"So if the color we must wear be England's cruel red
Let it remind us of the blood that Irishmen have shed;
And pull the shamrock from your hat, and throw it on the sod
But never fear, 'twill take root there, though underfoot 'tis trod.
When laws can stop the blades of grass from growin' as they grow
And when the leaves in summer-time their color dare not show,
Then I will change the color too I wear in my caubeen;
But till that day, please God, I'll stick to the Wearin' o' the Green."
What's next...taxing WalMart shoppers?
Memphis democrat Larry Miller is proposing a $2 tax on patrons of strip clubs and adult bookstores to provide incentives to Hollyweird producers to make movies in Tennessee.
Aw, he's just funnin' those Yankees.
Speaking "truth to power" you might say led to this gentleman getting fired. He definitely needs a blog complete with an archive of his columns.
Captain Trips '05?
Yesterday morning I stopped to get gas and the cashier let out a hacking cough into the very hand that she gave me the change after I paid for my purchase. I stuffed the money in my pocket and then gave a couple of bucks out of it to the girl at the pick-up window at Dairy Queen...wonder how many other people have handled that money in the last 24 hours or so?
UPDATE: I've got it now, drowning in snot, throat is sore, sneezing my head off, d@mn that morbidly obese cashier!
Where's the media circus involving this teacher?
We've all seen the story about the Warren county teacher who was reportedly having inappropriate sexual relations with a young student...this woman has had sex with at least 5 students and where's the outrage...Oh, I see, this one is homely and wouldn't get the ratings that a hot chick gets.
Derrick Mason a Ratbird
Longtime Titan wide receiver Derrick Mason has signed with the hated rival Baltimore Ratbirds aka Ravens...boooo hissss
UPDATE: it gets worse, much worse, now Samari Rolle has joined the Ratbirds : (
I'm a joker, I'm a smoker, I'm a midnight toker...
Congresscritter Maurice Hinchy (D-NY) has accused Karl Rove of creating the forged documents that led to the "Rathergate" scandal that rocked the C-BS News network. Listening to his rant to Sean Hannity leads me to suspect that Hinchy is actually a Republican plant by Karl Rove to make the Democrat party look like a bunch of tinfoil hat wearing conspiracy theorist kooks.
Dukes of Hazard Marathon on CMT...Yeehaw
If there are two things that are near and dear to every Southern boy's heart they are the song Sweet Home Alabama by Lynyrd Skynyrd and the Dukes of Hazzard television show. $100,000 to be Vice-President of the Dukes Institute...
"A farm is not a place to grow wealthy; it is a place to grow corn."
Words of wisdom from Andrew Nelson Lytle, taken from the chapter "The Hind Tit" in the book I'll Take My Stand.
Save Our Farm