What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic. Why does Santa have 3 gardens? So he can ho-ho-ho. Why was Santa's little helper depressed? Because he had low elf esteem. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite. What do you get when you cross an archer with a gift wrapper? Ribbon hood. 'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house, Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse. The stockings were hung by the chimney with care. They'd been worn all week and needed the air. Why is Christmas just like a day at the office? You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit. What do elves learn in school? The Elf-abet! What do you get if you deep fry Santa Claus? Crisp Cringle. If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get? Mistletoe! What kind of cereal does Santa eat? Snowflakes! Where do polar bears vote? The North Poll. Why does Scrooge love Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer? Because every buck is dear to him.