| Once upon a time, not so very long ago, in a town devoid of strip malls, there lived a young lady named Faustine. Not having been born with much good sense, but somewhat blest with good looks, she focused all of her energy on enhancing and maintaining her physical appearance. Faustine was popular with the local youths, whose obsequious flattery and flirtation were the only attention she received in her lonely adolescent life. Her sole rival in this respect was a haughty young coquette named Gothilocks, who was renown, throughout the region, for her jetty locks and fetching good looks. One evening, in the closing days of September, as Faustine arose with the setting sun, she stood at the railingof her balcony looking onto the forest and, poised within the twilight moment, made an oath to the murky woodland and its inhabitants. She swore that she would give anything to find a secret that would cause her beauty to surpass all others--especially that horrid wench, Gothilocks. Then, just as the sun finally gave way to his mistress, a tenebrous figure stepped out of the woods and encroached upon the grounds leading to Faustine's balcony. Faustine was shocked by the stranger's boldness, and yet entranced by her grace. She was impressed with her confident stride and almost funereal solemnity. When the mysterious personage came in close enough, she pulled back the tulle of her wide-brimmed hat and revealed herself to the young lady, who was amazed by her beauty; startled, in fact, to the point of almost being frightened by it. She was a perfect vision of sepulchral pulchretude, clad in a form-fitting dress of dark purple velvet. Her skin was unnaturally fair, her lips were thin, but nicely formed, and seemed to be painted a dark reddish color, turning to black. Her all-encompassing eyes, as she looked up to Faustine, seemed to be of a deep purplish hue, but our young heroine dismissed this as a trick of the gloaming, and assumed that they must be some shade of blue. She had high protruding cheekbones, insinuating a death's head; nevertheless, she was breath-taking. Faustine stood there, spellbound, and gaped at the woman with what must have really been a silly expression on her face, because the moment was soon shattered by the snickering laugh of the stranger. This rattled Faustine from her reverie and put the girl on her guard. "Who are you," demanded Faustine, "that dares to trespass on my land, and laugh in my face?" "My name is Atropa Belladonna, and I beg your pardon, but I was in the vicinity and could not help but hear your plea, and felt impelled to come to your assistance." "That's a very strange name," she said, "and I am not supposed to talk to strangers." "O sweet lamb," the woman intoned, in a voice as sweet as aspartame, "do not be sore with me. I heard your bleating, as a shepherd hearkens to an errant charge and must come to its aid and show it the way. Dear sweeting, allow me to help you in your endeavor, and I promise you shall become the most beauteous babe in all the land." "More beautiful than Gothilocks?" "Who, that curly-cued cow?" "I like the way you think, and your offer is tempting, to be sure. May I have a day to sleep on it?" "You may have a day to think on it, wherein you may sleep upon what or whomsoever you please, but I must have an answer by tomorrow evening just after sunset. Then, if you consent, we may begin to transform you into the envy of every girl and the desire of every swain in town." "On second thought, I would rather not wait. I want to start being beautiful now!" "Do you not wish to consult someone before making your decision--your parents, or perhaps a confidant?" "Why, so she'll learn my secret? No thank you, and besides, I never talk to my parents. The less they know the better; they've even said as much themselves. No, I am quite sure in my decision. I wish to start now." "We have not yet discussed the cost of my services..." "I don't care, I've got money to spare. I'll do it no matter what the price!" "Very well then. We begin tomorrow at the appointed hour. I shall arrive just after sunset, and you shall follow me to my home where I shall wait on you." "Then, bidding Faustine a good evening, the stranger slank away, vanishing into the woods. Thereafter, our ingenue started to have doubts about her decision, and wondered if she hadn't acted too hastily. She even reconsidered telling her parents, but then thought better of it. "Oh well," she reasoned, "she seemed nice enough; besides, anyone that pretty can't be so bad." |