CHURCHYARD NUNCHEON
Oh, won't you come to tea with me?
It could be so very nice, you see
We could have cakes and toast, with all sorts of jellies
And sundry other things to swell up our bellies

I've found a nice spot, which is really quite pleasant
If you don't fancy sweets, I've wine, bread, and cold pheasant
We can set up on the slab of my Great Aunt Mariah
Buried apart (from the family plot), like some unwanted pariah

Do so be careful as you walk past the headstones
For it wouldn't be sporting to jostle the dead's bones
Try to be quiet and use a light tread
For it's not very wise to waken the dead

But child, why do you still stand at the gate?
Come in straight away, and do not hesitate
Do you not, as do I, love the dead folk my dear?
Come in, let me teach you, you've nothing to fear


The dead are quite harmless, if their sleep's undisturbed
Tho' if they awaken, they become quite perturbed
But it's not the cadavers for whom you should fear
It's Lucifer's cronies, who always lurk near

The demented ghouls, who believe themselves beasts
Who dig up fresh graves for their carrion feasts
Or the warlocks and witches searching for prizes
The malevolent lillim, which come in all guises

But that's all at nightfall, and it is still day
The sooner we finish, we can be on our way
To home, by the fire, sipping hot cider
Leaving the dead to commune with the worms and the spiders