I want a red miracle dress.

Naked pudding twister!

Where are my pants?

lemma lemma lemma lemma Why are so many laws and theories named after people with difficult to pronounce names?

Cheesy Pretzels! Cheesy Pretzels! I ate some but then when I took some NyQuil and it made me throw up and my vomit was bright orange because of the ... dun dun dun ... that's right - THE CHEESY PRETZELS!

My leg keeps going to sleep, and though the first time it's amusing for a little while to poke it and not feel anything, it's starting to piss me off.

It's probably a really bad sign when you set not one, not two, but three of your fingernails on fire.

Why do my feet go to sleep so easily? Do everyone's feet do that, or am I just special that way? It doesn't matter how I sit, it's like if I don't move for a couple of minutes my feet decide they're off duty and it's nappy time for them. It's rather annoying, really.

Sometimes I think that I don't actually want the the things I want, but that I just want the idea of the thing I want. I don't like not being able to tell the difference. I'm doing that now.

Mustard yellow is a really icky color.

Do you ever just stop and try to look at your life from outside yourself, then think, "Wow. That is really screwed up."?