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Three astronauts were sent on a mission to Mars. The three of them, one Japanese, one American and a Russian were told to prepare for two years of space travel. They had an option to take with them at least one item. The Japanese took with him several hundred books to read on the journey, the American decided to take his wife along and the Russian thought the best thing to take for such a long, boring journey would be cartons of Cuban cigars to smoke the time away. All three of them thus lifted off the earth.

Two years slipped by....and finally the three astronauts returned to planet earth. When the space vehicle touched down, a team of reporters gathered around the astronauts and shot questions at them. One of the reporters asked the Japanese what good did the tons of books did for him during the space travel. The Japanese replied, "Ah so, I have become a learned person. I can speak five languages now!"

The reporter then asked the American why he took his wife along. The American astronaut replied, "You see, I figured out that the trip will be very long and I will need companionship. Now, here, left me introduce to you my two baby boys."

Before the reporter could ask the next astronaut, the Russian, about his boxes of Cuban cigars, the Russian impatiently grabbed the microphone and shouted, "Comrades, for two years I have been looking at my haul of cigars. By the way, does anyone have a match?"

WEDDING RING

Ron : "I have horrible feeling my girlfreind wants to get engaged. She keeps saying she wants to have a look at a ring."
Rick: "How are you going to get round that?"
Ron : "I'm taking her to see a boxing ring!"

HOT AND COLD

Teacher to Pupil : "Why are you only wearing one glove?"
Pupil: "Because the weather forecast said, 'It might be cold, but on other hand it might be hot.'!"

MR. WRONG

One girl told to her friend : "Why are you wearing a wedding ring in the wrong finger ?"
The other answered : "To show others that I was married to the wrong person."

 

Please send your jokes to thaiindian@yahoo.com

  

SARDAR JOKES                                       

    

Question: Why does it take a sardarji so long to buy orange juice at the supermarket?
Answer:    The label on the orange juice bottle cautioned him to "concentrate".

Question: Why did the sardarji take 18 friends with him to the movie theater?
Answer:    Because the theater management had put up a sign that read "UNDER 18 NOT ALLOWED"

Question:  When writing out his resume, what did the sardarji enter in the column "SEX"?
Answer:    FREQUENTLY..
                       The personnel office seeing the mistake, told the sardarji that he should put "MALE" or "FEMALE" in the
                       column. Sardarji thus erased "FREQUENTLY" and entered "PREFERBLY FEMALE" instead.

Question: How can you persuade a sardarji to go to the rooftop?
Answer:      Tell him that free whiskey is served up there.

Question: Why is the sardarji's brain the most expensive on the auction block?
Answer:      Because he hardly uses it.

A sardarji was in court charged with parking his car in a restricted area. The judge asked him if he had anything to say in his defence. "Your, honour, they should not put up such misleading notices," said the sardarji. "The sign said, 'FINE FOR PARKING HERE'."

Two sardarjis were sitting on a beach in Pattaya. One sardarji asked the other, "Praaji, ise "beach" kyo khatee hai?" (Why is it called "beach"). The other answered straightfacedly, "Don't you know? Its between Heaven and Earth, itsliye beech kahete hai."

A sardarji with two red ears went to his doctor. The doctor asked him what happened to his ears and he answered, "I was ironing a shirt and the phone rang - but instead of picking up the phone I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear." "Oh Dear!" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. "But .. what happened to your other ear?" "The scoundrel called back."

A Sardarji goes to a hotel and eats heartily. After eating he goes to wash his hands but starts washing the basin instead. The manager comes running and asks him, "Praaji, aap kya kar rahe ho?" To this the man replies, "Oye, tumne hi to idhar board lagaya hai, 'Wash Basin' ".

Having lost his donkey a Sardarji, got down to his knees and started thanking God. A passerby saw him and asked, "Your donkey is missing; what are you thanking God for?" The sardarji replied, "I am thanking Him for seeing to it that I wasn't riding the donkey at that time, otherwise I would have been missing too."

Sardarji: "Doctor, I have a problem."
Doctor : "What's your problem?"
Sardarji : "I keep forgetting things."
Doctor : "Since when did you have this problem?"
Sardarji : "What problem?"

The train ticket inspector asked a sardarji for his rail ticket. The sardarji searched his pockets but could not find it. "Never mind," reassured the inspector, "I will take your word that you bought your ticket." "That is very kind of you," replied the sardarji, "but if I don't find it, I wont know where to get off."

A sardarji got up in the middle of the night to answer the telephone. "Is this one one one one?", says a voice. "No, this is eleven eleven," the sardarji replies. "Are you sure it isn't one one one one?" the voice asks again. "No, this is eleven eleven," the sardarji said. "Well, wrong number. Sorry to have got you up in the middle of the night," the voice apologised. "That's all right, mister. I had to get up to answer the telephone, anyway," the sardarji said.

A sardarji recently won a gold medal in the 100m race Olympics. When he returned home he was given the nickname "Flying Singh". On day while he was vacationing on the beach an American lady approached him and said, "Sir, I think I know you. I've seen you on TV when the Olympics was held." The sardarji replied, "Oh, yes. I won the 100 meters." The lady seeing him sitting on the beach, asked him, "Sir, are you relaxing?". The sardarji got furious, "No, No, No, I'm not Relax Singh. Don't you know I'm Flying Singh, Flying Singh?"

           

ANYONE, A LIGHTER?