| *Way Late* Testosterone Update: Months 20, 21, 22 May 2nd, May 30th, June 27th 2003 Please know that these updates are combined because i forgot to do my 20 Month update and was not responsible about posting my 21st updates on time. I appoligize for this. I've had alot going on in my life and have not been able to properly focus on this website documentation. I'm doing the best i can though by putting these 3 updates together because i will want to run my site online. Updates: Written for May 30th 2003 ~ I am using these for my 22nd updates as well since nothing has changed ... Hey Everyone, I'm making changes in my life. These updates are going to be different because a few weeks ago i shaved off all my facial hair and about 98% of my body hair. I will explain why for those of You that don't read my live journal: A few weeks ago i auditioned for this mtf and drag queen runway fashion show modeling job. Luckily i got picked to model for the fashion show and so the hair HAD to go for that. I also had been wondering for quite some time what i would look like without so much facial/body hair but needed an extra push to actually shave it off. I'm really happy i did now though because i like myself alot better shaved It's also easier for me to pass in drag, which i seem to be doing ALOT of these days. I've taken my drag queen personas beyond my usual lines and have started to occassionally bring out ''the girls'' (drag personas) in daylight and high public enviornments. I will continue to shave for now. I don't know when i will grow it all back out since i'm enjoying myself smooth. I would like to bring up a very important point about WHY i am on testosterone. First i will say that femininity is my nature. I do not take testosterone to ''transform'' or ''create'' my physical body. I do take testosterone to balance out my hormonal levels. I do not take testosterone to masculinize my body. To be honest i do not feel it has done much masculinization for me because i'm so high feminine and do everything in my power to keep myself that way. I do not view myself as masculine in any which way! My testosterone keeps me mentally stable in regards to my defect of being born with too much estrogen and some of my intersexual characteristics. I felt the need to articulate that to Everyone because i feel like i'm in a whole different world then other People that take testosterone for whatever reasons. I do identify pretty radically and i'm in a gender class of my own ... Changes Updates: Facial Hair/Body Hair: Everything is gone except the hair on my head, arms and some pubic hair. I have light peach fuzz on my hands, upper back and some hair over my incision lines but that is all. At first it was really weird seeing myself without hair because i was not use to it. I looked so pale at first and was like oh shit shaaanaaay i need to get my ass to the tanning salon! It was a 2 day process to remove all my hair. I had to do it in sections! Growing back in the next day or so was an itchy hassle! I do love the way it feels though after i shave and lotion my body. I also think it looks alot sexier in drag and Role Play. The hair grows back WAY too fast! I shave my face in the morning and it's already time to shave again by mid-afternoon. I can't even get a close enough shave on my chin because it's always stubbly even after i shave. Skin/Acne: I had to be extra strict with my skin care this month for the modeling position. My facial and body acne is starting to clear up a little better but is still there. I still use Differin Gel and all oil-free products. Body/Muscle: I also needed alot of discipline this month to maintain my body size/weight. I'm trying to stay at 105lbs. It's harder to gain muscle when i'm maintaining a specific weight but i still work out. I work out 3-5 times a day ~ depending on the day. I do abs of steel, buns of steel, ballet and pilates. My stomach muscle seems to be getting more defined and so do my legs. *Month 22 Update on this issue* I'm now at 104lbs and have 24lbs to loose.. This aspect of my health is going majorly down hill. I don't know what is going to happen... But anyhow as far as muscle goes, my workouts have increased to 4 or 5 times a day. I'm still very discipline and restrictive on my diet. I won't get into it on here because it all has to do with eating disorders and not testosterone! Cock/Libido: I'm still growing. I don't feel comfortable talking about this area of my body and so that is all I'm going to say. My libido is still balanced in a horny sort of way. It tends to go sky high when I'm Donja because she is scandalist as all hell ;-) Voice: Spank me, Paddle me, Whip me, Flog me, Belt me hard because i still have not transferred my voice clips from the slow laptop unto this computer. I'm not being very responsible with updating this website on time or doing my voice clips. I wonder if People still even read my updates and i guess i'm just less motivated to run this website because i don't make a big production out of it anymore ... I also feel that i've exposed alot of myself over the last past *almost* 2 years and that triggers feelings of being uncomfortable etc. but helping people in the gender community is important to me and that is why i keep this site going ... *Update Photos (Incomplete)* |