Fluffernutter leaned back in his chair, keeping an eye on both Matt and Adrian at the same time. "I won't bother denying that I know anything about BOO," he said flatly. "There wouldn't be much point, would there?"
"Anyone as determined as you were to 'Buffy' vampires had to have been a hunter," Adrian replied.
"Yes, I was with the Bureau," Fluffy admitted. "But I can't really tell you that much about them. It would, literally, be worth my life if I did." He raised a hand to forestall either of them from replying. "And don't bother telling me it's worth my life if I don't. Empty threats don't frighten me."
"It wouldn't necessarily be empty," said Adrian.
"Yes it would," T'beth said.
"Oh."
"The Bureau," Fluffy continued, as if nobody had spoken, "operates for only one reason: to rid the world of what they see as unnecessary and dangerous occult activity. I realize that vampires aren't precisely 'occult' in the most correct sense of the word; but BOO isn't too bothered by definitions. If it's anything to do with the supernatural, preternatural, occult, undead, or magical; it must be eliminated."
"Why?" Matt asked.
Fluffy blinked at him. "Are you seriously asking me why it's necessary to slay vampires?"
"Well, yeah. I'm askin'. I mean, given the body count in totally human wars, not to mention totally human serial killers, al Qaeda and all the other terrorists running free around the world I can think of a lot of humans that are far more predatory than vampires. And as for other occult beings, I don't see any of the magic folks on the Telegraph running around killing folks for the fun of it. Or leveling buildings for that matter.
"T'beth and Adrian are hardly societal threats. Nor is Josh or Gideon.
Those two to the contrary, I'd say they are the type of folks who hold the world together. And BOO went after the folks in Maine apparently for no reason whatsoever! Now they're bothering me and Pip, for nothing more than the fact I know Adrian. Personally, I'm surprised John Ashcroft isn't runnin' the outfit. They seem about as sane as he does." Matt's eyes were blazing.
Fluffernutter looked at Matt, and only at Matt, for what seemed to be a long time. Finally, he nodded.
"That's the way I ended up feeling," he said. "That's why I left the Bureau."
"You kept saying you wanted to kill me," Adrian growled.
"Old habits die hard," the agent replied, unperturbed. "You should know that." He looked at Matt again. "There are vampires that should be slain. But there are humans who should be, too, and nobody seems to do anything much about that. As for other occult beings... no magic-user ever did me a bit of harm. Werewolves these days are pretty civilized and hardly ever tear anyone to shreds. So I think BOO is unnecessarily fanatic."
"How do we stop them?" Matt asked.
"I'm not sure you can," Fluffy said. "They're literally everywhere, and they employ a lot of very intelligent people who know how vampires think."
"Unlike ORC, say?" Adrian asked nastily.
The ORC agent shrugged. "ORC is mostly a bunch of well-meaning kids who grew up on Blade comics and Anne Rice novels and think that vampires are super-cool. I try to instill some sense into them when they'll listen to me, but they think I'm just an old fart."
"They do reconaissance in an ice-cream truck in January."
"They're kids. I'd rather have ORC on my case than BOO, wouldn't you?"
Adrian touched his earlobe, which had once spouted an earring full of microcircuitry that traced his actions and reported the same to ORC. On the other hand, BOO used crossbows and lawyers.
"If we can't take the Bureau down," Matt said, "can we at least get them off our case? I don't want them following me and Pip, or trying to take a shot at Adrian."
"Ahem," said T'beth.
"Or at the lady, either," Matt added. He thought a minute. "It'd be great if they'd lay off the bunch in Maine, too. The Baron's a decent guy, he shouldn't have to worry about a crossbow bolt messing up his suit."
"It'll be dangerous," Fluffy warned.
"Anything that means anything is dangerous. Maybe not always physically, but if you aren't willing to stick your neck out for something then it probably isn't worth doing in the first place. I'm in."
Matt then looked over at Adrian. His gaze softened as he did so. "I know this is a lot more dangerous for you. But I hate the thought of you living, er, unliving, with this threat always just out of sight. How about it?"
"Actually," Adrian said, "it's less dangerous for me. Vampires are a lot harder to kill than humans. I'm putting you and Pip in a lot of danger." He looked at Fluffy. "You, too."
Fluffernutter shrugged. "I'm already in danger," he said. "I have Tabitha watching over me."
T'beth scowled, but said nothing. Her expression, however, warned that anyone else calling her Tabitha would be rewarded with bruises.
"I've already said that I am in," Matt repeated. He had discovered that a great deal of patience was necessary when dealing with Adrian. "Are you?"
"Yes, of course," Adrian replied. He turned to Fluffernutter again. "So what's the plan? Ambrosius?"
"We take down BOO's office here in Toronto," Fluffy replied.
"Oooookkkaaay," Matt replied. "I hope you've got a plan."
"I do," Fluffy replied evenly.
"I'm not sure I could actually shoot anyone," Matt said, looking Fluffy in the eye. "It isn't like I'm afraid of guns, or getting shot at or anything, I'm just not sure I could kill anything on purpose. So any plan you've got needs to take that into consideration."
Fluffy frowned. But he had heard a thing or two about Matt's adventures in war zones so he knew Matt was no coward. T'Beth stared at Matt as if he were not quite sane. Adrian just smiled.
"Actually," Fluffy admitted, "it wouldn't have to involve killing anyone. We just go in and destroy their files."
"How?" T'beth asked.
"That's where we need Elijan," said Ambrosius. "He's a reporter. He's doing a story on the outbreak of occult activity here in Toronto. He needs proof. He gets into BOO's headquarters with that as a cover story."
"But BOO knows I'm involved with Adrian," Matt said. "They'll be suspicious."
"You are involved with Adrian because you're duping him into believing you're interested in him, but what you're actually doing is using him as your conduit into Toronto's occult underground," said Fluffy. "If you can convince BOO of that, you're homefree."
Matt sat there silently for quite some time, his brow furrowed. It was clear he was examining the idea from all angles. "Okay. That might work. We'd need to set me up somehow though, as if I were attempting to nose around where I shouldn't be. Like maybe with ORC. I set up a surveillance sting on you guys, you find out, the chase is on and you chase me right into BOOs hands."
"I'd have to clear it with Thatcher," Fluffy said. Seeing Matt's blank look, he explained, "The person in charge of Toronto operations of ORC."
"No," T'beth spoke before anyone else could. "A sting is a sting, Fluffy. You have to be the only ORC agent who knows, or word might leak to BOO."
He clearly didn't like this, but eventually nodded. "Yes," he sighed.
"ORC still operating in the basement of the Haltain Building?" Adrian asked.
He really wanted to ask if they still used water balloons and lime Jell-o (TM) as defense mechanisms, but refrained himself.
"No, U of T threw us out when they caught on that we had no legitimate connection to the university." Fluffy fought a grin. "We're renting a warehouse down on Fraser Avenue now."
"That will make things easier for you, Matt," Adrian nodded to his lover. "Last thing we need is the campus police nosing about."