Elemental Dentistry by Cecily Jake kept walking, mostly because he couldn't think of anything else to do. He would *not* practice Adrian's lesson in stalking. On that he was determined. Aside from doubts about his powers of seduction, he lacked the full vampire's ability to whammy his way out of trouble, should his target yell for the police. Whammy. Adrian had taken fastidious exception to Jake's use of the term. Jake tried to laugh at the memory of the professor's expression, but the laugh turned into a sob. The sobs became a swarm of tears that stang his eyes like angry wasps. He blundered determinedly through the shadows of University College until one of the shadows turned out to have substance and said, "ack!" "Sorry," Jake muttered. "Sorry is as sorry does -- wait a minute, aren't you Adrian Talbot's sidekick?" The speaker stepped into the light, or perhaps simply acquired a slight glow. Jake gulped and decided he didn't want to make close inquiries. He knew Griselda Gunzelheimer by sight and repute. Most of the university did. As always she was clad in a long, too-large black dress, and wore a tall black hat with a somewhat limp point. Jake had always wondered why the hat sported the Blue Jays logo, but had never dared to ask. Ms. Gunzelheimer was supposed to be harmless, but she claimed to be a direct descendant of the witch in Hansel and Gretel. Her cut-rate spells for the price of a drink or a few dollars had left strange tales in their wake on and around the campus. What the Hell, he was turning into a vampire. He might as well get some use out of it. Jake drew back his lips and flashed his fangs. "H'mm," said the witch. "Needs more practice. That snarl wouldn't frighten a baby. Oh, now, young man --" Jake, to his horror and humiliation, had burst into tears. "Rats. No peace for the wicked. All right, come along." Jake was never certain how it happened, but he suddenly he was following Griselda Gunzelheimer into a bachelor apartment. "Ahm," he observed. "That is --" Griselda lit the burner under a kettle. "Never mind," she said. "You wouldn't understand. Have a cookie? Oh, don't look like a horse backing up from the vet! They're store bought. Great-great-great-grandma's recipe doesn't work without her special oven." "I can't eat," said Jake. He added, "thanks." "Well, I don't have any blood except what's in me, and I'm going to keep that." She produced Blue Jay and Maple Leaf mugs from the cupboard. "You're going to drink some of my herbal tea. It'll take care of the blood craving. That's not a good thing for a bloodling to have, leads to awkward moments." The memory of Grace and the silver necklace flashed across Jake's mind. "I'll say," he muttered. "Already tried to bite someone, have you?" Griselda Gunzelheimer plunked the Leafs mug down in front of him. It was full of something strong and brown. For the first time in days, Jake was hungry. "Girl friend?" Jake almost choked. "Yeah. She was ready, though. Sllver necklace." Griselda nodded. "That'll be Adrian's blood line. Never could stand silver, that lot." She took a swig of tea. "Only I never heard of them growing fangs and going blood thirsty before the change. How much of Adrian's blood did you take and why on Hecate's earth did you do such an idiotic thing?" "I didn't! Not on purpose, anyways. Adrian kissed me, and there was blood on his mouth." Jake put the mug down abruptly. His hand was shaking. The witch pressed it firmly back into his grasp. "Finish it. It's part of the treatment." "Treatment?" Jake echoed wildly. "Yes, treatment, -- what is your name, anyway?" "Jake. Look, can you help me?" Jake's hand was now shaking so much that some of the tea spilled. Griselda nodded. "I think so. We can't have uncontrolled bloodlings all over the place, attracts too much attention. Now, *how* much blood did you get from this kiss?" "Just a little, but it wasn't all Adrian's. He'd been in a fight." She rose and began to rummage in a drawer. "A fight. Safelli?" Jake reminded himself that she was a fortune-teller. "Yeah," he said. "Ok, we're getting somewhere. Safelli's blood line is quite different from Adrian's. It's older, for one thing. And wilder. Some folks say it came from the Devil himself, although that's just talk." Jake wished he could see what she was doing at the counter top. The clinks and clanks were ominous. So were the snatches of a language he couldn't identify. The only thing he understood was a bit of Old High German, and he wished he hadn't heard that. He said wildly, "can I ask you something?" "Sure." Griselda was pounding something in a mortar. "Why do you have the Blue Jays logo on your hat?" "I'm a fan." Ms. Gunzelheimer added some kind of liquid. "I used to have a bumper sticker on my broom." Jake wasn't sure whether she was kidding or not. She turned back to face him. "All right, Jake. Close your eyes and relax. I said 'relax.' That's limp. Ok. Now, stay that way until I tell you to open your eyes. Got it?" "Yeah." Jake truly intended to obey, but he was still mortal. The average mortal, when an unexpected pot of hot, sticky something is poured over his head as a known spell-worker lets out a yell that would terrify a banshee, jumps ten feet in the air and screams. Jake was a little less than average, so his leap was closer to twelve feet. "You can open your eyes," said Griselda. Her laughter wasn't quite suppressed enough. "And here's a towel. Don't worry, it won't stain. Oh, and by the way, you've only got Adrian's bloodline now. I've bound Safelli's." In the middle of toweling frantically while trying not to curse, Jake froze. She was right. The fangs were gone and the thought of drinking blood made him feel nauseated. "Thank you," he gasped. "But how'd you do it?" Griselda smiled. "Trade secret. Just tell Adrian to watch it in the future. Now get along with you. It's time mortals left the night to vampires and witches."c. 1996 by A. Fraser and L. McDavid