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| THATS FUNNY |
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| Air Head on a Beer |
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Q: Why did the blonde take a ladder into the bar?
A: She heard the drinks were on the house. |
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| Another Dumb Blonde |
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A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a show in a small club in a small town in Arkansas. With his dummy on his knee, he's going through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and starts shouting: ''I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does the color of a person's hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community and from reaching our full potential as a person, because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against, not only blondes, but women in general...and all in the name of humor!''
The ventriloquist is embarrassed and begins to apologize, when the blonde yells, ''You stay out of this, mister! I'm talking to that little jerk on your knee!'' |
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| Bad Day Blondie |
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Q: How do you know a blonde's having a bad day?
A: Her tampon's behind her ear and she can't find her pencil. |
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| Beware the Blonde Terrorist |
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Q: Did you hear about the blonde that tried to blow up her husband's car?
A: She burned her lips on the tailpipe! |
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| Blonde - Death in the Family |
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One day, a blonde's neighbor goes over to her house, sees the blonde crying, and asks her what happened. The blonde said that her mother had passed away. The neighbor made her some coffee and calmed her down a little and then left. The next day the neighbor went back over to the house and found the blonde crying again. She asked her why she was crying this time.
''I just got off of the phone with my sister, her mother died too!'' |
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| Blonde and Dictionary |
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| A blonde, redhead, and brunette were looking at a dictionary for the hardest words they knew. The brunette's word was quizzical. The redhead's word was photosynthesis. The blonde's word was dick. |
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| Blonde and Genie |
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A blonde, a brunette and a redhead were stuck on an island for many, many years until one day they found a magic lamp. They rubbed it hard and out popped a genie. He said that he could only give three wishes so since there were three girls, each would get one wish. The redhead went first. ''I hate it here. It is too hot and boring. I want to go home!'' ''Okay,'' replied the genie. And off she went. Then the brunette went. ''I miss my family, my friends and relatives. I want to go home, too!!'' And off she went. The blonde started crying and said, ''I wish my friends were back here!'' |
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| Blonde and House |
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Q: What's worse than a redhead and a brunette trying to build a house underwater?
A: A blonde trying to set fire to it. |
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| Blonde and shower caps |
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A blonde was walking down the street with shower caps on her breasts.
A guy asked her, "Hey, what's with the shower caps?"
"Shower caps?" she responded, "These are booby condoms!" |
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| Blonde and the Bottle Cap |
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Q: Why did the blonde keep taking off and putting the Pepsi bottle cap back on?
A: Because it said, ''Sorry, try again.'' |
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| Telecommunications |
By AVERMAN |
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Q: What is a brunette between two blondes?
A: The interpretor. |
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| All The Way |
By AVERMAN |
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| There was a blonde and a brunette sitting at a bar. The brunette asks "How far have you gone with a guy?" The blonde says "To Melbourne." |
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| Blondes In The Jungle |
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| Two blondes were walking in the jungle, one of them looked down and saw tracks. One blonde said "Look theres bear tracks." The other blonde said "No there deer tracks." They argued for a wile about what type of tracks they are till they got hit by a train. |
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| No Matter What Blondes Do They Can Never Be Smart |
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There was a blonde who wanted to be smart so she died her hair brown, to
see if she was smarter now she went to this guys farm and said to him "If I can
guess how many sheep you got can I have one?" The man said "Yes," so the girl look
at them and said " There are 346 sheep," And the man said "Man how did you do that?" the girl said
"I'm smart" so the girl took a sheep because she guessed right.
The next day the farmer when to the girls house and said "If i can guess what
colour your hair is can I have my dog back? |
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| Blonde in the Mirror |
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Two blondes are walking down the street when one of them looks down and finds a mirror.
She picks it up, looks into it, and says, "WOW! I know this person. I've seen this person somewhere before..."
The other blonde takes the mirror, looks into it, and says, "Duh, of course you have. That's me!" |
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| Who Let The Blondes Out? |
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Q: How many blondes does it take to milk a cow?
A: Five - one to hold the udder, and four to lift and the cow up and down. |
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| Who Killed Abraham Lincoln? |
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A blonde walks into the police department looking for a job. The officer wants to ask her a few questions....
Officer: What's 2+2?
Blonde: Ummmmm... 4!
Officer: What's the square root of 100?
Blonde: Ummmm... 10!
Officer: Good! Now, who killed Abraham Lincoln?
Blonde: Ummmm... I dunno.
Officer: Well, you can go home and think about it. Come back tomorrow.
The blonde goes home and calls up one of her friends, who asks her if she got the job. The blonde says, excitedly, "Not only did I get the job, I'm already working on a murder case!" |
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| We Don't Swerve Your Kind |
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A cop pulled over a car for swerving all over the road. The blonde at the wheel looked very confused and scared.
"What's going on here, ma'am?"
"Well, I was driving along when all of a sudden there was a tree right in my path. I swerved to miss it, but there was another tree. And after that, another, and another." The cop looked inside her car and sighed.
"Ma'am. That's your air freshener." |
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| The Blonde's Special Order |
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| A brunette, a redhead and a blonde went to an ice cream parlor together. The brunette went up and asked for a Dr. Pepper float with no ice cream. The counter man was confused, but gave her a Dr. Pepper float with no ice cream. The redhead went up and asked for a single dip of vanilla ice cream with Pepsi poured over it. The man was really confused now. But he gave the redhead her order. The blonde was listning to the other two women and thought that she should have a ''special order'' too. So she went up and asked for an extra-large root beer with no roots. |
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| Two Blondes and Two Mice |
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There were two blondes as roommates and they both bought mice. When they got home the first blonde said how are we going to tell them apart? The second blonde said why don't we take one and chop off one of its legs? But during the night the mouse with four legs said to the mouse with three legs, ''That's not fair -- I want three legs too.'' So the mouse with three legs told him to eat one of his legs. And so he did.
The next morning the blondes were upset about this so they did the same thing as the day before. But again the mouse with three legs ate one of his legs. This went on until both mice had no tails and legs. Then one of the blondes shouted, ''All right, that's it! You take the black one and I'll take the white one!'' |
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| © copyright 2003 THATS FUNNY |
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