THATS FUNNY

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A BATENDER IS JUST A PHARMACIST WITH A LIMITED INVENTORY.

HORN BROKEN, WATCH FOR FINGER.

THE MORE YOU COMPLAIN, THE LONGER GOD LETS YOU LIVE.

IF AT FIRST YOU DON'T SUCCEED, TRY NOT TO LOOK ASTONISHED.

I.R.S.: WE'VE GOT WHAT IT TAKES TO TAKE WHAT YOU'VE GOT.

HELP WANTED TELEPATH: YOU KNOW WHERE TO APPLY.

JESUS LOVES YOU....... EVERYONE ELSE THINKS YOUR AN ASSHOLE.

REALITY IS A CRUTCH FOR PEOPLE WHO CAN'T HANDLE DRUGS.

HANG UP AND DRIVE.

LORD, SAVE ME FROM YOUR FOLLOWERS.

GUNS DON'T KILL PEOPLE, I DO.

ASK ME ABOUT MICROWAVING CATS FOR FUN AND PROFIT.

I SAID 'NO!' TO DRUGS, BUT THEY JUST WOULDN'T LISTEN.

FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS DRIVE NAKED.

FRIENDS HELP YOU MOVE. REAL FRIENDS HELP YOU MOVE BODIES.

DIPLOMACY IS THE ART OF SAYING 'NICE DOGGIE!'... UNTIL YOU

CAN FIND A ROCK.

NO FAT CHICKS.

INSERT FUNNY SAYING HERE.

I USED TO BE SKITZOPHRENIC, BUT WE'RE OK NOW.

ARGUING ONLINE IS LIKE THE SPECIAL OLYMPICS - EVEN IF YOU WIN,

YOU'RE STILL RETARDED.

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