 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 |
|
 |
 |
 |
 |
|
| THATS FUNNY |
|
i |
|
|
 |
|
|
|
|
| Body Talk |
|
This lady goes to the doctor for a check up. When she gets home her husband asks, "So how did the appointment go?" She replies, "He said, I have the body of a twenty year old. Her husband says, "Oh yeah. and what did he have to say about your forty year old ass?"
She says, "Your name didn't come up." |
|
| Comeback Before You Leave |
|
| If I want to hear from an asshole, I'll fart! |
|
| Forget Me Not |
|
| I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception. |
|
| How Tall? |
|
How tall are you?
I didn't know they stacked shit that high! |
|
| I'm Gonna Tell You a Joke... |
|
| I'm gonna tell you a joke that'll make your tits fall off. Oops, my bad -- someone already told you. |
|
| Men Are Like Toilets |
|
| Men are like toilets -- either they're taken, or full of crap! |
|
| Misappropriated Churchill Quote |
|
A man walks out of a bar totally hammered, only to be greeted by a snobby woman. She takes one look at him.
"You, sir, are drunk!"
"And you ma'am, are ugly. But when I wake up, I will be sober!" |
|
| New York State of Mind |
|
Do you know why New Yorkers are always so depressed?
Because the light at the end of the tunnel is New Jersey. |
|
| Perspective Insult |
|
| I'd like to see things from your perspective, but I can't get my head that far up my ass. |
|
| PMS |
|
Q: Why do they call PMS PMS?
A: Because Mad Cow Disease was already taken! |
|
| Yo Mama's So Dumb |
|
| She puts a ruler next to her bed to see how long she sleeps for. |
|
| Yo Mama's A Slut |
|
| Tell your mum to stop changing lipstick my dick's one hipercolour |
|
| THINGS NOT TO SAY TO A COP! |
|
1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer. (OK in Texas)
2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.
3.Aren't you the guy from the Village People?
4. Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job!
5. Are You Andy or Barney?
6. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.
7. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?
8. I pay your salary!
9. Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too!
10. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.
11. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around. That's how far ahead of me they are.
12. When the Officer says "Gee Son....Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?" You probably shouldn't respond with,"Gee Officer your eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?" |
|
|
|
| © copyright 2003 THATS FUNNY |
|
