Recent Headlines
	Archaeologists have recently discovered what is thought to be a missing page from the bible. If genuine, it would be placed somewhere near the front of the legendary book, and is believed to read,"To my darling Candy, all characters depicted in this book are ficticious, and any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincedental."
		Around 3pm yesterday afternoon, officer Frank Barbaroy pulled over Our Saviour Jesus Christ to inform of a broken rear light. However, when the officer involved ran a standard check via radio, it was discovered that Our Lord was driving a stolen vehicle, and has built up over $17,000 in parking violations fines. Heaven Administration has yet to release a statement.
			Ashtray, your esteemed webhost, was yesterday placed first in this years annual Mr Universe competition. Unfortunately however, the validity of the contest was brought into question when it was discovered that all the contestants were from Earth.