"A thin line between love and hate"


It had been a few hours since the Garden had flown over Balamb. Seifer still sat on the edge of the dock, legs dangling over the side. It made him feel young again, somehow. Perhaps because his first home had been near water. The sun was starting to set, so beautiful hues of color bathed the sky and sea. On the outmost edge, pink which deepened to a more fiery red. Dancing around that were the blues and purples.
In the middle of it, the ball of spun gold that was the sun. He sighed, running a hand through his hair.

Beautiful, haunting... lonely. Sunsets were meant to be shared with someone you cared about, but he didn't have that. Friends, yes but a lover? No, even Rinoa hadn't been that to him, though she had fancied herself in love. He had just provided the bad boyfriend she had needed, at the time. He wondered if he had ever felt anything, other then hate. Hate for Squall. Even now, his grip tightened around the handle of his fishing pole. Squall, his rival. The only one worthy of such honor. A fellow gunblade wielder and the back knight to his white.

Even Zell, who he had loved to torment, broke too easily. Squall however, would just look at him with those eyes. And then mutter, "Whatever." Seifer had never been able to get past Squall's defenses, except the day that they had dueled. The day they had given each other matching scars, something that would forever mark them as rivals… Seifer now wondered why he had disliked Squall so much. Not because Quistis had fawned over him, he hadn't liked her in that way. Perhaps it had been that maddening aloofness. He had wanted something from the younger boy, some sort of emotion. Quistis wanted his love; Seifer just wanted a reaction. He had gotten it; it now stood out on his face.

A smile graced his lips again, as he thought over the emotions that had flashed across Squall's face when he was struggling to get back up. It faded though, as he remembered the anger and hate that had flashed in his eyes when he returned that one stroke of the blade. At the creak of a board, Seifer turned. Lost in thought or no, he was a trained Seed. And he still had reflexes like a cat.

However, the person that was standing there, floored him. His gaze rested on that damned lion pendent, before moving up to meet silver eyes. Squall stood there, silently. Seifer scowled. Again, that silence. It rankled his nerves. He hadn't been as quiet when he had been about to throw Rinoa to Adel.
"Come to gloat, Squall? Get it over with, then."
One brown brow lifted, perhaps in amusement. With Squall, one could never tell. Then a slow shake of the head, followed by Squall sitting next to him. Seifer waited, tensing. Squall was sitting next to him, unarmed. This was slightly surreal.

"I came..." A pause. "To invite you back to Garden."
Seifer's lips twitched, he couldn't help it. Squall frowned, wondering what was so funny. Seifer threw his head back, laughing. At both the puzzlement in Squall's eyes and what he had just said.
"I don't find anything..."

"Oh, but I do." Seifer had stopped laughing, abruptly, and then cut into Squall's speech. "I am a failed Cadet, a failed Knight, a failed everything. And yet here you are, inviting me back. This is a great joke Squall, and sending you to do the asking was the clincher. I'm not going back."
"Why?"
Seifer paused in his act of getting up, and glanced to look back at the sun. It was hugging the ocean, and blackness had started to overtake the color. How like his life had been after becoming a Knight. His only wish to serve her. He saw nothing but black and white. No color, nothing.

"I..." Squall waited, though he did not know why. He also didn't know what had posessed him to ask Seifer back. Nor how he knew he'd be in Balamb. He had just felt, that he needed to seek him out.
"I can't go to a place where I am not wanted. A place that I tried to destroy, a place that holds..."

"Nothing but hurt." Squall finished for him. "Nothing but the feeling of being alone."
Seifer turned to look at him, in a bit of shock. No one had ever gotten to the core of his being so thoroughly before. Even Fujin and Raijin, his two closest copanions didn't know that.
"I feel the same. The garden holds nothing but pain for me. Which no one can ease."

"Even Rinoa?" Seifer asked, smirking. Squall nodded his eyes now on the edge of the sun. It was barely visible now, and twilight was upon them. The moon wasn't fully out yet, so it was a state of suspended motion. Between day and night. Between white and black.
"Even Rinoa. I care for her, but not in that way. Although, I did make a promise to her."

"Which was..." Seifer prompted, interested.
"To be her Knight. I suppose in time, I could care for her as she wishes..." He turned, facing Seifer.
"You were about to let her go, but then when I called her name - you threw her to her Adel. Why?"
Seifer's eyes widened. Of all the questions Squall could have asked, he wasn't expecting that one. Worse, he didn't have an answer... or did he? Jealous of Squall... or could he have been jealous over Squall? No, where had that thought come from? He hated Squall! Hated, with a passion!

"I heard somewhere, that there is a thin line between love and hate, Seifer. I believe it was a song."
"Wh- what are you trying to say?"
"I know your pain, because I've felt it. We are two shades of one person; Quistis was overly fond of telling me. In-between her attempts of hitting on me." Squall's lips actually twitched after that remark, and Seifer blinked. "I'm inviting you back because I need you, Seifer. You've been the thing that has driven me, for as long as I have known."
He then fell silent, waiting. This was the last chance he would offer Seifer. If he refused again, that was it.

"You, who always ignored me... want me back. To become what... Squall? Your rival again? I'm tired of..."
Squall cut him off, by holding up a hand. "Fine. You said, someday I'd thank you for being able to take on anyone. I thank you. Because of you, I was able to defeat you."

Squall began to push himself up. "I don't know why I bothered..."
Seifer's hand shout out, grabbing a fistful of shirt. He jerked Squall towards him, so close that their noses were nearly brushing.
"Just what did you want me to say? Yes, I'll gladly walk back into the lion's den? I don't think so. You claim you need me, but that's bullshit. You're ice, Squall ... you need nothing and no one."

He then released his shirt. However, Squall didn't move back. Instead, he leaned forward- his lips brushing Seifer's ear as he whispered to him, "No... but you need someone. You need me."
And with that, he leaned back. Then he rose, the Griever pendent glittering in the moonlight.

"If you want to find me, you know where to look. But I won't come searching for you again. A lion has pride." A ghost of a smile flitted over Squall's lips, and then he turned to walk away. Seifer watched as he left then turned to look out over the sea again. The moon was full, it's silver form reflected in the dark blue of the water.
However, he didn't see the moon- he instead saw a pair of gray eyes.

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A/N- I don't own any of the characters, they belong to Squaresoft. This my first attempt at shounen ai, so please bear with me. Oh yea, and if you're going to leave a really dumb review, I'll laugh.
This is for my Proof-Reader, Desi-Chan. Thanks, girlie. ^^