I Get Carsick

* * * *

“Can you roll up the window?”

Squall’s eyes flicked up from the road to glance at Zell in the rear-view mirror, before pressing the button to shut the window by him. They were stuck in a traffic jam just outside of Dollet. Rain was pattering gown in a fine mist and the windscreen wipers were squeaking across the glass. Squall was drumming his fingers annoyingly on the steering wheel, and Zell, behind him shivering in his damp swim shorts, just wanted to punch him.

The blonde teen was huddled on the backseat with his knees drawn up, blatantly disregarding Quistis’ demands that he “buckle up”, and trying to avoid the wildly jabbing limbs that were protruding from the writhing mass that was Irvine and Selphie. The two had been overcome by a sudden bout of lust, and their lack of shame was resulting in a heavy petting session despite their audience.

Quistis had blushed slightly pink when she saw what the two SeeDs were doing, Squall didn’t even acknowledge the situation. Zell watched, quietly wondering what it felt like to be touched like that. Squall would never touch him, full stop. This lead to a rather confusing episode in Zell’s mind as he tried to work out what it would be like his first time. He was convinced no one but Squall would be good enough to be his first, but he was equally convinced he would never be with Squall. Inching through the traffic, it didn’t take long to diagnose Terminal Virginity.

Selphie sat up with a smudged and satisfied smile. “Cheer up Zellykins, it might never happen.”

“Thanks for the encouragement,” he remarked morosely.

The green-eyed girl removed the arm she had thrown around the shivering Zell. “Geez! You almost sound like Squa…”

“Shut up.”

The bright green eyes blinked. “Oooookay…” she turned to her boyfriend who drew her into a hug.

“What’s up with Shorty?” he drawled. Zell reached round and slapped the cowboy around the back of the head. “Ow!”

“I’m five-five. I think you’ll find it’s your girly who’s the midget,” he said in a mocking voice.

Irvine shifted in his seat to hit Zell but Selphie caught his arm and stopped him with a look. “He’s upset, leave him…”

“Right under the thumb…” Zell stage whispered.

“That’s it you…”

“Fu…”

“Zell, shut up.” Squall hadn’t even looked round, and his voice came as a shock. Quistis turned from her window to look at the young man beside her in the driver’s seat.

“I…”

“Why is it,” Squall cut in. “That whenever you get into a car, you turn into a six year old?”

“It’s good to know you find me a productive member of the team.” He said it with such an odd tone that Quistis tensed expectantly and stared at him in the mirror.

“Stop whining Zell. This isn’t the best time.” Leaning to peer along the line of cars approaching the harbour town, he didn’t catch Quistis’ warning look. Too late, his attention was re-focused on the cars interior when there was a click as the door opened and then was slammed as hard as Zell’s strength would permit.

The blonde had climbed out of the car and began walking towards Dollet along the side of the road.

“For Hyne’s sake… Zell!” Squall had wound down the window and stuck his out to call after the retreating figure. “Zell get back in the car.” No answer. “Zell!” The martial artist ignored him and kept walking. His tank top and shorts, already wet from his dip I the sea, were getting soaked as the rain began to get heavier.

The dark haired driver slumped back into his seat and took a deep breath. The other three occupants of the car sat in slightly stunned silence.

Quistis was the next one to speak. “I’ll drive. You should go after him.” She was squinting through her glasses down the length of the road trying to separate Zell from the rest of the grey world.

“Why? If he wants to act like an…”

“Oh please Squall!” Selphie chirped, leaning forwards and clutching the headrest of Quistis’ seat. “He’ll catch pneumonia if he’s out in that weather for long.”

“No, he won’t.”

“Squall…?”

“No. I’m not going after him. I came out to spend my day off with my friends. Pissing about with little kids having tantrums was not on the agenda.”

Quistis regarded the Commander for a moment. She unbuckled her seatbelt, and picked up her long coat, which she had folded and tucked in the space under her chair. She shrugged it on and held her hand out to Squall. “Jacket,” she said shortly. Squall didn’t say anything, but handed over his fur-lined leather jacket. Then Quistis too left the car, hurrying after Zell.

Squall looked up into the mirror and stared into the fiercely glaring green eyes that had caught his. “What?” he asked their owner.

Selphie just turned away with a snort.

“Zell, wait!” Quistis shouted as she jogged after him. It was the third time she had called, but this time he complied. She shook out Squall’s coat as she neared him and draped it around his shoulders. “Zell, are you all right?”

His eyes were red-rimmed and he shrugged, then nodded. “I like rain,” he smiled. “When it’s raining I don’t feel like I’m crying.” He laughed and pushed his arms into the sleeves of the coat. “It sounded more dramatic than I meant.”

Quistis began to button up her coat; she hadn’t had a chance to before. “Squall’s being a bastard again?”

Zell nodded and started walking again. “You probably think I’m overreacting.” He seemed to huddle deeper into Squall’s jacket. “Have you ever noticed how Squall doesn’t have a smell?”

Quistis frowned at the tattooed man amusedly. “Can’t say that I have.”

“It’s funny. Look. Smell, I mean.” He grinned and held out the sleeve of the jacket. Quistis shook her head. Zell shrugged and hugged himself. “No aftershave, no soap. Not even sweat,” he said grinning again.

“Well, you know Squall. Ice cubes don’t sweat.”

“They melt though. Which is sorta the same thing.”

“I suppose you’re right.” She smiled at him and hooked her arm through his.

The pair walked in silence until they entered the town. The car wasn’t too far away from the border, but there was so much traffic it would take them hours to get there on the road.

“There’s a café in the Hotel,” Quistis said looking through the rain that had again eased off into a drizzle. “Want to wait in there?”

“Nah,” Zell sighed. “We won’t be able to see when they get here.” They were walking through Dollet’s cobbled streets. “There’s another one just up the road, towards the docks. They’ll have to go down there to get to the ferry. We’ll be see from there.”

“Zell, are you sure you’re not too cold?”

He looked at her and his smile faltered. “I’m bloody freezing! I want some cocoa.”

A few minutes later they were sitting in the café Zell had referred to, sipping on mugs of hot chocolate, with the blonde boy wrapped in a blanket Quistis had borrowed from the owners who lived in a flat above their shop.

“Quistis, can I tell you something?” She had expected this. All through her explanation of one of the theories of GF origins, he had seemed distracted. She knew he wasn’t particularly interested in that topic, but he was trying to decide something, and he always felt more comfortable with some noise in the background. “It’s about Squall.”

“I thought so.” Quistis smiled kindly and leant closer to Zell, putting her mug down. “Let’s have it.”

“This might sound really stupid,” he looked at her as if begging her not to think he was stupid. “But… do you think Squall hates me?”

“What do you mean?” Quistis was humouring him now. She could tell he had changed his mind about what he was going to say.

“Well,” he began to fidget. “I’m always running around for him, doing things. He, he treats me like I’m his personal minion, or something…” He stopped as if trying to work out what to say. “I thought he was my friend?” Quistis laughed. “Wha’s so funny?”

“Nothing Zell.” He pulled his blanket up around his face defensively as she spoke. “He does the same to me, to a lesser extent it’s true. But you see, it’s because he doesn’t want anyone else to think he needs help.” Zell looked confused. “Zell, Squall feels like he has to be the big strong leader for everyone. He doesn’t want to disappoint anyone, so he feels like he can’t ask for help. He manipulates you into doing things for him because you’re the one he wants help from more than anyone else. Remember how Rinoa used to fuss around him? It’s like that.”

“He thinks about me… Like Rinoa?” The way he scrunched up his nose told her he didn’t know what to make of that.

“Yes. Sort of.”

Zell shifted deeper into the blanket. “Like… love?” Quistis regarded him steadily. “Because, I love him you know…”

TBC