Disclaimer: No. These characters are not mine and I make no claim to them in any way shape or form. I’m just a little hentai doing this for kicks.

Warnings: YAOI, slash, male male pairing! In other words two guys together. If you don’t like it, don’t flame me. I honestly pay no attention to them anymore.

Set: 6 months after the Ultimecia conflict.

“Cowboy Hats and Leather Jackets.”

Written for Astraea Trepe.

As a late birthday present.

Also to say thank you for all that she has done for me, for the friendship and love she has shown me and for all those wonderful nights we’ve spent role playing.

 With all my love.

N.

(Also with many thanks to Pixie518, for being my test subject, and for helping me on some of this.)

His hand is so pale in the moonlight. That’s all I can think of as I lay there watching him sleep, listening to the almost indiscernible sound of his breathing, how pale his hand is as it curls on the black material of the pillowcase beside his head.

He’s coiled up, his knees drawn almost to his chest, his other arm wrapped loosely around them, and his head bent forwards, his hair falling over his cheek and hiding his closed eyes. I should go now, before he wakes up, as I always do. I’ve never stayed the night with anyone. Never wanted to say goodbye in the cold light of morning. But this is different tonight.

I lift my eyes to look at that hand again; the one nestled on the black cotton of the pillow. His pale fingers are still, his palm is facing towards the ceiling. My hand rises, and I touch the palm with two trembling fingertips.

His hand is cool. I expected it to be I guess, he keeps Shiva junctioned even now, or maybe I was waiting for him to grab my hand like he did the time I had to wake him in a tent out on the Alucaid Plains. As soon as I touched his wrist he grabbed my hand and bought the gunblade up to my neck. It took him a few seconds to realise I wasn’t trying to kill him. Now his hand remains completely still. He’s changed in the last six months. He’s still our silent Squall Leonhart, but at least he’s a little lighter hearted. Still thinks the world is out to get him though.

Heck, he’s probably right.

I watch his face as I tangle my fingers with his, waiting for him to wake up and pull away. He doesn’t, but the scowl that had been on his face for the last hour lightens a little.

I’m about to pull away from him when his fingers tighten around mine.

I bite back the urge to pull him to me, I know damned well that’ll wake him, and I am not going to risk that.

Not sure how long I lay there, just watching him, I know I nodded off a couple of times, and I woke just after dawn to the sound of his voice.

********

“You’re still here?” He asked. I couldn’t tell much from the sound of his voice but he always keeps his words guarded.

“Is that so surprising?” I asked and yawned as I opened my eyes. He was sitting up, leaning across me a little so the sunlight wasn’t in my eyes. Hey at least he’s considerate.

“You never stayed before, what was so different this time?”

“Maybe I’m falling for you.” I gave him my sexiest smile before I realised what I said. “Or.. maybe I….” My voice trailed off and I couldn’t think of anything to say. I never could lie to him, but I didn’t expect to blurt out the truth like that.

He tilted his head to one side, regarding me curiously then shook his head and smiled just a little. “Yeah, like that will ever happen.” There was sarcasm in his voice and a hint of something I couldn’t quite put my finger on.

I forced myself to sit up, and found he was still holding my hand. I squeezed it lightly and it gave me a little hope. “Why not?”

“You settle down? Don’t make me laugh Irvine I’m out of practice. Besides you could have anyone you wanted, why would you chose me?”

I placed my forefinger on his lips to silence him, and then kissed him softly. “Why would I choose anyone else?”

He pulled away from me, a touch of sadness in his eyes. “Well, it’s not going to happen, so what’s the point in talking about it?” He stood and walked to his dresser.

“It might.” I ventured, I’ve never known when to shut my mouth, why change that now?

He glanced back at me as he pulled a pair of jeans out. “I don’t have time for this Irvine, I’m supposed to be in a meeting in ten minutes.”

“Fine.” I dressed quickly. “I guess I’ll see you around ‘Commander’.” And I left before he had chance to say anything else.

I didn’t see him again that day and it gave me time to think.

Our first night together, we were a little drunk. I can hold my liquor, so can Squall, it comes with the job, you know? We go out for the odd shot or two, but nothing over the top. But once in a while we get drunk. It wasn’t quite one of those nights, but it was rapidly heading towards it.

Squall was sitting on a cane chair, leaning back, with one leg across the arm, the other foot planted firmly on the floor. He was talking to me about something I can’t remember, and gesturing carefully so as not to spill his beer.

It took a couple of minutes to realise he’d stopped talking and had moved to the arm of the chair I was sitting on. “What are you thinking of?”

I must have been more drunk than I thought because I said “What it would be like to kiss you.”

He must have been more drunk that I guessed because he leant down and gave me the sweetest kiss I ever had. “Like that.” He said softly and smiled. He looks so beautiful when he smiles. I started falling for him then, at that first kiss, even though I didn’t realise it at the time. 

“Think I could get another of those?” I asked and kissed him again before he had the chance to answer, pulling him into my lap.

We didn’t have sex the first night. Neither of us were ready and I didn’t want to do something I’d end up regretting by pushing him. We talked, touched and kissed, and that was enough to keep me going back for more. Squall made me feel needed, wanted, with just one single glance, and that made me fall for him that much quicker. Even if I didn’t realise it at the time.

It was only meant to be an on and off thing, when we needed someone, but it’s become so much more.

I had to talk to him. I had to tell him how I felt.

********

He knocked on the door of Squall’s room, the sound hard in the quiet corridor. It took a moment for the commander to answer, clad only in a pair of leather jeans, his hair sopping wet. He motioned for Irvine to enter and walked back into the ‘living room’ section of his quarters.

“Two nights in a row Irvine?” Squall asked as he ran his fingers through his hair. “Losing your touch?”

Irvine grinned. “Never. Just wanted to talk to you.”

Squall walked into the bedroom and Irvine followed, pausing in the doorway and leaning against the wooden frame, folding his arms over his chest. “I’m flattered.” Squall responded dryly, not turning to look at the cowboy.

“I have fallen for someone Squall. Never really expected it to happen, but it has.” Irvine sighed and took a step towards the brunette. “I’ve fallen hard and I like it.”

“Lucky you.” Squall bit his lip and sat on the bed not lifting his gaze to Irvine.

Irvine paused for a moment, studying the smaller man, unsure of what to say next. “Squall?” He moved to sit at Squall’s side, slipping an arm around his shoulders. “You think it isn’t you don’t you?”

Squall leant against the taller man instinctively, still not answering.

“Squall?”

“Is it?” Squall’s voice seemed very young all of a sudden.

“Yeah darlin’. I’m in love with you.”

The brunette lifted his head to look at Irvine. “But…” Irvine silenced him with a kiss before pulling away again, to gaze at Squall. “I don’t… Why?”

“I don’t know… but I do.” He cupped Squall’s cheek and smiled. “I was kinda hoping you felt the same.”

Squall pulled out of his arms and turned away. “I…”

“You’re different. You need me as much as I need you even though we’ll never admit it. When I look at you I don’t see what other people see.”

Squall knelt on the bed a little way away from him, still not facing him.

“They see Squall Leonhart, “the lion of Balamb”, or “Slayer of Ultimecia”…. I see Squall. I see a friend, and a lover, someone who makes me happy just to be with him, because he sees me.  The real me, not that side of me that I show to everyone else.  He sees me when I'm at my best and at my worst, and he’s there for me still.” He moved closer, brushing his lips over Squall’s bare shoulder and sending a faint tremor through the brunettes body.

Squall’s breath caught at Irvine’s words.

“That’s someone I love when he’s silent, and when he’s moody. When he’s scowling and wants the world to go away. And yet, he wants me to be with him, be there for him and with him. I just want to give him whatever he wants, and that’s all there is left in me. My will. My thoughts. My heart. He’s got it all, whether he knows it or not.”

“Irvine?”

“Squall. I do love you, more than anyone I’ve ever loved before.” Irvine’s voice was soft and low in his ear. The brunette’s only indication that he had heard was the gentlest movement of his head, inclining towards Irvine’s voice. “And I’ll go, if you want me to.” The cowboy’s strong fingers brushed over the back of his neck, and Squall’s eyes flickered closed.  Irvine mistook Squall’s silence as a dismissal, withdrawing his touch and standing from the bed. Feeling the shift as the cowboy stood, Squall half turned to him. “Ya know I’d wait forever if I thought it would make you love me.” He said softly as he turned to pick his jacket up from it’s crumpled heap on the floor.

“Don’t go.” Squall’s voice was a murmur, inaudible even over the slight distance between them.

Irvine glanced back at the scarred brunette sitting on his knees on the bed. “What was that darlin’?”

“Please don’t leave Irvine.” Squall shook his head. “I don’t want you to go.”

Squall held out one hand and Irvine took it, kneeling on the bed to face the brunette. “What are you saying Squall?” Squall lifted his free hand to cup Irvine’s cheek and leant forward, brushing his lips against the cowboy’s.

“I’m not quite sure myself…” 

“Do you love me Squall?”

Squall’s gaze lowered to Irvine’s chest. “I don’t know.” He looked up again, meeting Irvine’s violet gaze. “But I do care about you…”

Irvine leant his forehead to Squall’s feeling the firm ridge of scar tissue on his brow.  “That’ll do, for now.” He pressed his lips to Squall’s, dancing his tongue along the smaller man’s lips and teasing open his mouth. Squall returned the kiss slowly as his hands eased up behind Irvine’s neck, pulling the loose leather cord from his hair and letting it spill free through his fingers.

When Squall broke from the kiss, breathless with desire, he found himself gazing into Irvine’s eyes and he noticed for the first time the tiny silver flecks in the iris, and the love the eyes held for him.

He pulled Irvine back to him, allowing their lips to meet again, overwhelmed by the feeling of Irvine so close to him, needing him more than anything.

Irvine’s hand flickered over the fly of Squall’s jeans and began to tease the leather down, his fingertips whispering over the alabaster skin of Squall’s hips, tracing his thumbs over the rise of his thighs. “I love you…” He murmured softly against the smaller man’s lips, not truly expecting a reply and still a little disappointed when one was not given.

Squall moved to allow Irvine to pull the leather free of his legs, lying back against the pillows watching as Irvine stripped and lay beside him, drawing him into his arms and kissing him gently. The brunette’s arms tangled around him, whispering his name tenderly, entranced by the feel of Irvine’s skin on his own.

The mouths met time and time again and Irvine rocked his hips against Squall’s, brushing their hardened sexes together to elicit a moan from Squall, then escaped his arms, to slide down his body. The auburn haired man pulled a tube of lubricant from the cabinet at Squall’s bedside, slicking his fingers and sex as he parted Squall’s thighs. As he trailed one finger over Squall’s entrance, he ran his tongue over the head of Squall’s sex. He took it into his mouth as he slid two fingers inside the tight body, sucking lightly as he felt Squall squirm a little under the intrusion, slowing his movements to allow him to adjust before scissoring and twisting the fingers. He slid his mouth down the length, taking him in tauntingly slowly, feeling Squall’s hand rest on the back of his head for a moment before moving down to run fingertips lightly over his cheek.

He cradled the throbbing length with his tongue as he slid his lips down further towards the base, working it with a gentle rocking motion, pausing once in a while as Squall trembled, lifting his eyes to watch the gentle flush rise on his cheeks. Squall’s grey eyes opened to gaze at him, and he mouthed the word “Irvine.”

Irvine moved back up, pressing his lips to Squall’s gently as he pulled the brunettes legs around his waist. “Put your arms around my neck.” He whispered as he shifted to his knees. When Squall did as he asked he pulled back so he was sitting on his knees with Squall straddled across his lap.

Squall cupped his face in both hands, brushing their lips together as Irvine pulled him up a little, positioning himself at the brunette’s entrance. His hands rested on Squall’s hips firmly, as he deepened the kiss, rocking his hips up until the tip of his sex pushed into Squall’s body. Squall’s breath caught at the feel of the small invasion and he pressed back onto it, easing himself down until Irvine was buried to the hilt in the tight muscle of Squall’s body.

“Oh Hyne…” Irvine muttered as Squall stilled, breathless on his lap for only a moment before beginning to rock his hips slowly, barely moving but feeling so tight around the cowboy’s sex he had to remind himself to breathe. Irvine’s first thrusts were shallow, and disjointed as he adjusted to the weight on his lap, but gaining in confidence and moving deeper, a little more firmly but still gently.

He rose on his knees to thrust deeper and harder into the willing body, supporting Squall by holding the small of his back. Squall leant back, his head rolling back just a little as he moaned Irvine’s name lowly, almost inaudibly, swallowing hard.

The sensation of Squall’s sex rubbing along his stomach and his body so tight around him was so compelling he could think of nothing but this exact moment in time, not wanting it to end. And yet, the most exquisite sensation was the sight of Squall, leaning back, struggling to keep his eyes open, so lost in pleasure. He begged in a hoarse voice for release, and as response Irvine’s thrusts became hard and unmeasured, pulling Squall tight against him and trapping his sex between the flat of their stomachs.

His hips snapped up against Squall, forcing himself deep into the heat of the willing body,

At the sudden almost violent treatment the brunette called his name once more, and came, trembling with the force of his release. He arched away from Irvine at an almost impossible angle, and then moved back to him, his fingers tangling in the loose lengths of auburn hair once more.

Irvine groaned as he came, burying his face against Squall’s shoulder.

He stayed like that for a moment, as Squall stroked his hair lightly, still breathing hard and simply enjoying the feel of Squall’s body against his own. He kissed the brunette once more, and set him back against the pillows before lying at his side.

The brunette watched him for a moment, as if he were unsure of what to do, but he finally moved closer to Irvine, until there was only a hair’s breadth between them. Irvine turned to his side, facing Squall and pulling him into his embrace. “Squall…”

“Stay here.” Squall whispered as he buried his cheek against Irvine’s shoulder, kissing the base of his neck lightly. “For tonight…”

“I’m not going anywhere as long as you want me darlin’.” He cupped Squall’s cheek, tilting his face up and gazing lovingly into Squall’s storm grey eyes. “You hear me?”

“Yeah…” Squall closed his eyes and covered Irvine’s hand with his own, nuzzling against the touch. “I hear you.”

The brunette leant against him again, and after several moments of silence, he ventured “Squall?”

Only the soft sound of Squall’s breathing was his reply as he found his lover was already asleep.

********

He rose silently, slipping out of his lover’s arms and dressing quickly. “Just while I get my head straight.” He murmured to himself as he opened the door, slipping silently into the hall.

“I’ll be back soon Squall…” Irvine pulled his collar up around his neck as he started down the hall.

********

“Here.” Squall mumbled as he pushed Irvine’s hat into his hands. “You forgot this.”

“Squall?”

“I didn’t even get a goodbye?” The grey-blue, cold eyes of the Lion of Balamb studied him for a second. Then he continued on his way out of the main entrance.

Irvine was rendered speechless for a moment, followed the brunette. “Wait!” It was raining hard, a crackle of thunder sounding in the distance as Squall made his way to the main gate. “Squall, please wait.” He called again and the smaller man slowed, letting Irvine catch up with him and stand in front of him. “What did I do?”

“I wanted you to stay. You didn’t even say good bye.”

“I needed to take a walk, sort through my thoughts. Hyne I love you Squall, but I don’t know if I can keep pushing you like this…”

“Pushing me?” He whispered, looking up at Irvine.

Irvine settled his hat firmly on his head, wiping the cool rainwater from his eyes. “You don’t love me like I love you.”

“And if I do, and I just can’t bring myself to say it?” There was a faint almost tremble to Squall’s voice

“I need to know if that’s true darlin’.” Irvine took a steep towards him. “I don’t think I can handle this if it’s not.”

“Whatever…” Squall pushed past Irvine stalking towards Balamb town.

Irvine caught a hold of Squall’s arm, swinging him around. “Don’t do this to me.”

The only sound besides the faint whisper of laboured breath was the dull thudding of raindrops into the puddles of water that lingered in the cracks and low points in the paving of the garden’s front entrance. Even in the half-light, the water shimmered on the black leather of Squall’s jacket, the jet gloss a high contrast to the pale fur of the collar. Liquid beaded on the pelt, pale as pearls and diamonds. “Give me time. I’m as new to this as you are Irvine.”

“I just want to know you love me the way I love you.” Irvine pulled him closer, brushing away a strand of hair that hung over Squall’s scar. His own hair, or at least the length of his hair that hung below his hat, was heavy, darkened with water to a shade of almost chocolate brown. He did not pull Squall tightly to him, sensing the smaller man’s need for a little space. “Please…” Squall weakly attempted to pull his arm from Irvine’s grasp. “I keep pushing and you just keep backing off. I need you to push back sometimes.”

Squall murmured Irvine’s name as he leant his head on the sopping suede collar of the cowboy’s long jacket.

“I’m here darlin’.” He tilted his head to brush his cheek against Squall’s hair. “I’ll always be here.”

He’d been waiting for that promise, he’d think afterwards. But at that moment with Irvine so close and feeling so right, he had to speak the words that came unbidden to his lips. “I love you.” Squall’s voice was so soft; the sounds of the rain nearly drown it out.

Irvine whispered: “I love you too” as what Squall had said slowly dawned on him. He tightened his arms around the leather-clad lion, pulling him as close as physically possible, holding him tight like that for a moment before loosening and pulling back a little. “Think we should go inside before we catch our death?”

Squall nodded and pulled out of Irvine’s embrace. “That’s all you wanted to hear then?”

“Squall. I can honestly say I couldn’t think of anything I’d rather hear from your lips than those three words.” The brunette’s lips curled in the tiniest of smiles, and yet it was the most honest expression Irvine had ever seen and Irvine couldn’t resist smiling back. “Come on, let’s get in out of the rain.”

Irvine directed Squall with a hand at the small of his back, leading him through the gates and towards the dorm rooms with no cause for hesitation or pause, the corridors almost deserted at the late hour.

As Irvine closed the door to his dorm behind him, he slipped his arms out of his long jacket and hung it on it’s usual hook.

“You never bought me here before. It’s always been my room.”

The auburn haired youth turned, watching as Squall walked towards the centre of the room, looking around curiously. Irvine followed him after a moment’s hesitation, sliding Squall’s hair back from his neck and kissing the pale skin gently, coaxing him to the bedroom. “Nothing remarkable about this place, ‘cept you.”

Squall followed obligingly, sliding out of his leather jacket when Irvine bade him to, dropping it onto a chair and turning back to the cowboy, pulling him tight against him and brushing his lips over Irvine’s with no small measure of need. Irvine murmured softly against his lips, lifting one hand to his hat to free it from his head and throw it in the general direction of the chair, before sliding the same hand under Squall’s slightly damp shirt to trace his fingers in small circles on the brunette’s lower back.

The shirt slithered up to reveal Squall’s chest, almost as pale as the material that had covered it, marked here and there with scars, more than half of which Irvine had seen him take, whilst travelling somewhere between death and exhaustion, completely focused on the goal ahead, the final defeat of Ultimecia. As the cloth fell to the floor, Irvine eased Squall back onto the bed kneeling over the brunette and kissing each scar he could reach, paying attention to each one individually, listening to the brunettes’ murmurs and moans contentedly. Irvine traced his fingertips lightly over Squall’s fly, and undid them, sliding the hide down over his hips as Squall’s fingers sought and found his shirt’s buttons and worked them open.

The brunette’s cool hands spread the material of Irvine’s shirt, smoothing over his tanned skin carefully, as though he were committing every detail to memory. Irvine’s shirt joined Squall’s as he bent his head to brush his lips over the brunettes waiting mouth, cupping his face in both hands.

“Irvine… I need you…” The words were soft against his lips, and the kiss became deeper, their tongues moving against each other in a battle neither wanted to loose or win. Squall’s hands moved leisurely to the waist of Irvine’s blue jeans. In a second the denim was being pushed down to his thighs, and slightly callused fingertips were run along his sex teasingly light. “Please.” His voice was so low it was more of a purr than a whisper this time.

Their lips met once more before Irvine moved away long enough to step out of his jeans before returning to his lover. His lips were hot on the smaller mans skin as they traced a line along his neck and over his collar bone before moving lower to pay attention to one nipple. Squall’s fingers tangled his hair as his back arched, forcing himself harder against Irvine’s lips, begging for more in a hushed voice. Returning to work at Squall’s throat as he fumbled clumsily in the bedside table for lubricant. Finally finding that which he had been searching for he slicked his fingers and sex, running his index finger over Squall’s entrance before sliding two fingers inside him, watching the brunette’s reaction, drinking every movement in like the finest of wines.

The fingers moved slowly at first, rocking into the eager body, twisting and scissoring, stretching the supple muscle. As the third finger slid into him, Squall pulled Irvine down against his lips, kissing him desperately hard. “Irvine…”

The auburn haired man pulled Squall’s legs up around his waist as he positioned himself, brushing his lips over the smaller man’s once more. “I love you.” He whispered fondly.

 “I love you too.”

Irvine smiled, happy at finally gaining a response, pressing his lips to Squall’s in a gentle kiss as he pushed forward as slowly as he dared, sheathing himself in the hot tight muscle with a moan that Squall matched with a soft murmur, caught somewhere between pleasure and pain.

He paused when he could move no deeper, and wondered absently when Squall had tangled his arms around his neck, holding onto him so tight he doubted that the lion would let go again.

Squall rocked his hips against Irvine’s, murmuring breathlessly against his neck as he nuzzled the pale caramel of the cowboy’s skin. Irvine moved slowly at first, keeping his thrusts shallow as he slid a hand between the press of their bodies, encompassing Squall’s sex and working it firmly. 

A moan greeted the movement, and the velvet sound of the brunette’s voice begged him to move faster, deeper, and Irvine obliged lovingly. Each time he forced his way into the smaller mans body his pace became a little more fervid, a little quicker, and moving a little deeper.

He bent his head to kiss Squall’s shoulder, feeling the brunette move beneath him, writhing as his words became lower and more needing, drawing towards his final peak, and somewhere in his mind Irvine revelled in the fact that this total loss of control on the Commander of Balamb Garden’s part was his doing. But Irvine’s mind was too caught up in his own pleasure, the hot velvet tightness of the body around his sex and the pulse of Squall’s sex in his hand almost too much for his mind to bear.

Squall arched his back towards Irvine again, clutching at him desperately, his fingers tightening on Irvine’s shoulder as he thrust desperately into the auburn haired man’s touch. As Squall’s seed spilled across his fingers just as his name spilled from the brunette’s lips, Irvine thrust as deep as he could into the tightening body, whimpering “oh Hyne Squall” almost reverently. He came hard, moaning incoherently.

When he had gathered his thoughts and calmed himself, he looked up, regarding Squall with a lazy smile then leant up, kissing the brunette almost possessively. Squall murmured softly against his lips as he returned the kiss lovingly.

Irvine pulled away settling alongside his lover, pulling Squall against him. He closed his eyes as the brunette curled against him, draping an arm over his chest, and he almost missed the soft voice that said “I love you.”

He stroked Squall’s back gently, soothingly. “I love you too. And this time I’m not leaving.”

Squall tightened his arm around Irvine for a moment before relaxing again, listening to Irvine’s breathing fall into a slow even pattern, signifying his surrender to slumber. He lifted his head to gaze at the auburn haired man with a smile for a moment, before settling back down and joining him in sleep.

*******

I woke up a little later, with him still curled around me. I don’t know if I’d been expecting him to run out on me like I had him the previous night, but Hyne I was so relieved when he was there.

He looks so much younger when he’s asleep, peaceful and so beautiful. I sit and watch him just for the sake of seeing him like that, without the walls he still keeps around himself.

That first night, I don’t know what he was dreaming about and I’ll probably never ask him, he was so tense. Holding onto me so tight it almost hurt. I whispered his name and told him it was okay and just held him and he relaxed, and I tell you that was worth more to me than hearing him say he loves me. Even though hearing that makes my legs turn to jelly.

We’re not a perfect couple, we’ll be the first to admit it. But we’re willing to try and that’s all that counts right? We need each other. We love each other.

There’s an old wooden chair in my bedroom, been there since I got to Balamb. Must have been left by the last SeeD, never really found the time to get rid of it. Somewhere just before dawn, I looked over at it. His jacket was laying over the seat, one arm over the chair’s arm. The other arm of his jacket was curled around my hat looking for all the world like someone had placed them like that on purpose.

Made me smile to see that.

I always loved cowboy hats and leather jackets.

Just got one more reason now.

Author’s Notes.

This fic is for my dear friend and co-conspirator, A, whom I love. Thank you sweetie for everything.

All comments and reviews are more than welcome.

Thankyou for reading

N.

“Darksquall”