The Right Choice.

Part One. A break up.

His hands ached.

Timber was free.

The gunblade calluses that were supposed to be rendered impossible with the use of his leather gloves wept in their ferocity after eleven hours spent on the battlefield.

He had begun to wonder what he was really doing there, in that war torn countryside, fighting at the side of a woman he felt he barely knew in some last ditch effort to make himself love her… By the end of the day it had become painfully obvious to his cold and cynical mind.

Squall Leonhart had never loved Rinoa Heartilly.

Well, at least not in the way that he was supposed to love her. He had admired her, respected her courage for fighting so hard in a battle that she should never have begun, loved her as he would a sister or friend….

But he just couldn’t bring himself to see her as a lover.

His hand still ached.

But his heart ached even more.

He’d let her get too close, like a moth to a flame, and her wings had gotten burnt. Or was she the flame and he the moth? He could not tell or be bothered to figure it out.

Earlier in the evening, he had spoken to her a little too coldly and he would be the first to admit that he had said the wrong thing. “Can’t we just be friends?” He laughed at his own words.

He might as well have just stuck a knife in her trusting, open heart.

He couldn’t take back those words anymore than he could take back Seifer’s scar.

Slowly he rose to his feet, no longer content with staring at the ceiling of his Seed room to punish himself to calm the growling monster of hunger in the pit of his stomach. Crossing the room with muffled boot steps on the carpeted floor, he turned back to look at the room.

Her affect on his life had been so brief and so fleeting. Only that morning, her clothes had been scattered across the bed, her photographs pinned to the mirror and her CD collection scattered amongst his on the desk. She had blown out of his life as quickly as she had entered it, like a gust of wind, like melting snow…

Or like a summer squall…

He shook his head to dismiss the image of her red eyes and tear streaked face in that room and he stepped through the open door.

As he closed it behind him he thought: ‘I’ll never let anyone get that close to me again…’

Still lost deep in thought, he managed to get down to the ground floor without anyone talking to him and hoped that no one would for the rest of the walk.

But he hadn’t counted on Zell Dincht.

As the blonde martial artist fell into step beside him, Squall groaned mentally.

“She’s going in an hour you know…” He spoke softly for once, almost afraid to disturb his commander’s thoughts.

“Really?” Squall looked up. “Does she want me there too?”

“I don’t know, what would you want?”

“I’m not sure anymore….” Squall quickened his pace, leaving the blonde behind, not wanting to face his problems anymore.

In the cafeteria, he managed to get all the way to the counter before he realised how many eyes were watching him, but above them all, one pair of eyes bored into the pack of his skull with all the power of a ruby dragon’s attack.

Fearing his vision, he glanced over his shoulder to see Rinoa Heartilly glaring at him, then storming out with an apologetic looking Selphie following close behind.

Loosing his appetite, Squall grabbed a drink and sat on a table as far away from everyone as he could.

As he folded his arms and buried his head in them, he heard the scrape of a chair and someone sit and sigh beside him. “Fuck off.” He mumbled.

“No kiddo. I ain’t gonna do that.” Irvine said. “Sit up and talk to me!”

Squall remained as he was.

“You always were a stubborn bastard weren’t you?” The cowboy groaned. “Are you regretting it?”

“Yes I am a stubborn bastard and no…. I don’t think so anyway.”

“Are you doing anything tonight?”

“Not that I know of. Why?”

“Not much, but you wanna get away from the garden tonight? Jus’ go for a drink in Balamb and forget all about this place for the night?”

Squall looked up, blowing away a strand of hair that fell against the scarred bridge of his nose ready to berate the idea, but he stopped. “Why not?” He sighed and sat up. ‘I could do with some time away from this place…and a bar’s as good a place as any.’ He thought.

The cowboy nodded and stood. “Are you going to see her off or not?”

“I…. I think I will.”

********

Part two.  A farewell.

At Balamb train station, the silence was almost deafening.

The platform for Galbadia only held six people and a dog. He leant back against a column in the shadows and watched as a tearful Selphie hugged the sorceress. Still crying buckets, the small Trabian stepped back and made way for Zell to place a kiss on Rinoa’s cheek and part with a brief embrace.

Quistis gave her a quick token embrace, and Irvine kissed her full on the lips, unafraid of retribution now.

Then the raven-haired sorceress turned her attention to Squall Leonhart, crossing the platform to him.

“Squall….”

“Rinoa.”

“It never would have worked would it?”

“I’m not sure Rinoa.” He offered a hand. “No hard feelings then?”

She studied him for a moment. “We will stay friends then?” He nodded and she took the hand. “If you ever… regret it, I’ll be there for you. Okay?”

“Sure Rinoa.” She smiled sweetly at him and ran towards the train. Squall looked down to see Angelo staring back up at him. He crouched down. “You take care of her, okay boy?” And the dog barked in response.

Straightening, Squall turned and began to make his way out of the station.

********

Part three. An evening’s repose.

Squall had begun to wonder what he had been thinking when he had said yes to Irvine. He had discovered why Zell and the others never went drinking with the cowboy.

If Irvine was a flirt when he was sober, he was a downright slut when he was drunk.

So far, there wasn’t a woman in the bar who he hadn’t flirted with.

So Squall sat alone, at a table in a dark corner nursing a Trabian whiskey, staring down into the clear amber liquid he tried to remember whether it was his sixth or seventh whiskey. As Irvine joined him with another couple of glasses, a revelation hit Squall like a slap in the face.

“Shit…” he whispered. “I’m drunk.”

Irvine laughed aloud. “If it’s taken this long, you must be an old hand at this Squally boy!”

Squall glared at him. “Don’t call me that.” And he downed the glass Irvine had put before him in one gulp.

“Whoa, slow down Squall, or I’ll be carrying you out of here!”

“As if.”

Several drinks later, somewhere around two a.m., Irvine wasn’t carrying Squall out. In fact, Squall was carrying Irvine out.

“How can you be so fucking heavy Irvine?” He grunted as he dropped the cowboy on the steps of the hotel. “You stay there while I go see if they have a room.”

Concentrating on walking in a straight line, he approached the desk and smiled to the woman who was minding for the night.

“Hi, I was wondering if there was anywhere you could put me and my friend up for the night?”

The woman looked at Irvine’s prone form on the steps. “Erm, will he be okay? I mean I don’t want to have to be cleanin’…..”

“Oh don’t worry ma’am. Once he’s in this state, he’s fine. Sleeps like a baby. We were celebrating his graduation from garden…” He lied.

“Oh, you’re garden boys? Like Ma Dincht’s nice lad?”

Squall nodded, “Oh yes, we’re friends of Zell.”

The woman looked sceptical. “Then show me your Garden ID.” Squall sighed and removed the card from his wallet, handing it to her. “Squall Leonhart?!” She exclaimed and he shrugged.

“I guess I don’t look the same without the leathers, right?”

“I…I..I’m afraid w…w…we only have the one room sir, and it has a double bed, free for you.”

“That’ll be fine. He can sleep on the floor.” She handed him the keys and he returned to Irvine. “Come on..” He pulled Irvine up and managed to get him into the lift before dropping to his knees.

Squall’s vision swam, dark spots chasing each other across his eyes. “I don’t think I should have had the twelfth glass Irvine.”

The cowboy opened one eye and looked up at him. “I don’t think you should have either, or the thirteenth…”

“You were awake all that time?”

“Yep.”

Squall was silent for a moment.

“If I had my gunblade with me I’d kill you.”

“Aww.” Irvine reached up and pinched his cheek. “You look so cute when you’re angry.”

The lift door opened just in time to stop Squall from asking what he meant.

They managed to find their room without too much trouble.

Squall crossed to the window, looking out across the bay of Balamb, watching the crescent moon playing across the ice-cold waters of the Balambian Sea. Absently he removed his jacket and rubbed his bare arms, shivering a little in the cool room. Suddenly, he was aware of a warm breath on the back of his neck. With a slight gasp, he closed his eyes.

“You’ve changed a lot Leonhart. I never thought you’d ever let anyone get this close to you.”

Squall whirled around and stared up into Irvine’s blue-green eyes.  Studying the cowboy, he answered carefully. “War does strange thing to people.”

“I hear that!” The cowboy exclaimed as he moved to the bedside and undid the belt of his chaps slowly. “Makes you realise just how little our influence can be. And how big too.” He looked past Squall and out of the window. “So many generations counting on the six of us…. Makes me feel sick to think about it.”

Squall nodded and looked down at the floor.

“Come on Squall. I need some shut eye.”

“Share a bed?” Squall asked as Irvine patted the other side of the double bed.

“Wouldn’t be the first time, would it?”

“We were six then, but okay.” Squall made it to the bed without falling on his face. In the semi-darkness, he stepped out of his blue jeans and pulled off his vest top. He slipped into the sheets quickly and closed his eyes to the unfamiliar room.

A moment later, he felt Irvine’s warm body slip in next to him and soon he was lost in the soundest slumber and most peaceful dream he had had in years.

But it didn’t last.

********

Part four. In the darkness.

Some time later, Squall awoke. What sound had bought him to his senses he could not decipher as he sat upright, already alert and ready. The faint drumming of raindrops against the large windows was the only sound that pervaded his senses and assaulted his mind with fervour.

His head ached and hinted that the morning would be much worse but his mind was still clouded with the effects of the alcohol. His vision swam.

Unable to identify what had woke him, Squall lay back down on his side, curling into a ball and nuzzling into the pillow, and tried to go back to sleep.

“Squall?” He heard a hushed whisper.

No luck there then.

“Squall?”

“What is it Irvine?” He groaned, each word cutting a gunblade’s strike in his dry mouth and stabbing through his aching head.

“Seeing as I’m never gonna get the courage to ask you again and I know you’re never gonna answer me when you’re sober… Did you and Seifer ever…, you know?”

“What ‘you know’?”

“Fuck.”

Squall’s breath caught in his throat, ‘so the rumours are still flying around…’  He shook his head and decided to tell the truth. “The only thing that Seifer and I ever shared, other than a bitter rivalry, was a single drunken kiss.”

“Oh.” Irvine almost sounded disappointed.

Silence descended once again and Squall half-smiled, thankfully. The pounding in his head relented for a moment and he glimpsed peace and sleep once again…, but not for long.

Irvine reached over and lay a warm hand on Squall’s flat stomach, feeling Squall’s whole body tense beside him in response to this invasion of his own personal space. The fine lines of muscle on the Lion’s body were too much of a temptation and he traced the hand upward. Squall shivered involuntarily under the attention of the hot hand, gasping the cowboy’s name. “Irvine?”

“Hush.” The cowboy whispered tenderly into the lion’s ear, and softly kissed the pale, exposed flesh of Squall’s neck. The smaller man trembled under his caresses, from fear as much as from excitement. The hand on Squall’s chest moved back down, past the dusky pink of his nipples and over the soft paleness of his stomach to the waistband of his boxers.

“Irvine…”

Slowly, and with ever more daring, Irvine ran his fingers over Squall’s hardening sex, then further down, smoothing against the inside of his thighs for a moment before moving back up to his testes. Squall gave a tiny strangled cry as the cowboy’s graceful slender fingers encompassed his sex with tenderness.

Irvine’s mouth met Squall’s to quieten him, then with one hand Irvine pulled him down onto his back. As Irvine’s fingers deftly worked him back and forward, Squall instinctively arched his and moaned aloud.

Again, Irvine’s lips met Squall’s crushing against them in a fit of passion, invading Squall’s mouth with his tongue and exploring with curiosity.

Pulling away, Irvine moved down Squall’s trembling body, pausing once in a while to plant a kiss or tease with a lick.

“Irvine stop…”

Ignoring Squall’s plea, he eased away the silk that covered the object of his designs, risking a taste of the hot skin of Squall’s sex. He took Squall into his mouth slowly, savouring this invasion of lust and sexual torment.

Squall’s hands knotted in the loose cotton folds of the bed sheet as the cowboy drew him ever closer to the precipice of ecstasy…His breath caught in his throat as the cowboy pulled away for a second.

“Do you still want me to stop?”

The sight of the lion’s head pushed back against the pillow, his chestnut locks stark against the pale blue of the pillow case and a gentle blush faint on his cheeks, only spurred him on. He returned to his task as he heard Squall whisper faintly: “more…”

The fire of pleasure burned in the very centre of Squall’s being, urged on by Irvine’s brutally tender mouth. Growing like the newly lit flame of a candle and spurred on by the gentle fall of the cowboy’s lose auburn-brown hair falling against his thigh.

With a soft, growl-like cry, Squall came, arching his back with the force of his emotions. One final tremble signified his surrender’s finality.

As Irvine sat back on his knees, tossing his loose hair back out of the way, Squall sat bolt up right and caught the cowboy in a swift kiss that he could not have turned away if he had wanted to.

The lion tasted his own bitterness on Irvine’s tongue and it only managed to excite him further. Feeding his hand into the wild mane of Irvine’s hair, he pressed his lips against Irvine’s harder and rolled him onto his back. Pushing the cowboy down, crushing him against the pillows in unadulterated lust and needing.

With a glance up at Irvine’s half closed eyes, Squall journeyed slowly down to the cowboy’s sex. He bent his head down cradling the throbbing length with hand and tongue. Teasing with dancing fingertips, with an experience that so many had never seen, nor would see.

An under Squall’s attention, Irvine came helplessly, crying out in the darkness.

Calling Squall’s name as he did so.

With the pleasure still as potent as ever in his system, Squall crawled slowly back up the bed, dragging the quilt after him. He dropped down onto Irvine’s chest, resting his head and almost immediately falling asleep.

As Irvine pulled the cover around him, he stroked the lion’s down soft hair and sighed as he drifted away into the realm of sleep. “You asked no questions….” He mumbled. “Does that mean there’s something here...?”

But he was too soon lost in sweet dreams of love...., and lions.

Opening his eyes the following morning, and glancing around the room, Irvine realised he was alone. He sighed loudly and dressed quickly, hoping to catch a bite to eat before he returned to garden.

As he entered the dining room, he caught a glimpse of the light shining on a leather jacket, without the fur collar that had made him famous. Squall looked up at him from a table on the upper level of the room and half-smiled, reassuring the Galbadian. He crossed his blue jean covered legs and motioned for the cowboy to join him.

Irvine did as asked and ordered a full breakfast from a waiter as he passed. “Morning!” He said cheerfully as he took the seat opposite Squall.

The lion simply nodded in return as he sipped his coffee.

The steaming plate of food was placed in front of Irvine and he gobbled it greedily. Squall winced as he thought of all the grease and fat the cowboy was consuming.

“I’m a growing boy!” The cowboy retorted as if he’d read Squall’s mind.

“I didn’t say a word!” Squall protested.

“The look was enough man.” With a wink Irvine sat back, full and contented.

“Come on then. Garden awaits us.” Squall said with a slight tone of sarcasm to his voice.

When they reached the school gates, Irvine tipped his hat to Squall.

“I’ll see you later man. I gotta go see Selphie.”

Squall watched him go and tried to muddle over things in his mind. The previous night, he and Irvine had been so close…. They’d done things he hadn’t done with a man for a long time; the sorts of things he wouldn’t even have contemplated with Rinoa….

And he had enjoyed it.

Very much.

And now the cowboy was running of to be in Selphie’s arms again.

And Squall was feeling something he hadn’t felt in many years….

Jealousy.

********

Part Five. Official Encounters.

Irvine looked down at the note in his hand that his instructor had delivered to him.

“Please report to my office at two p.m. sharp.

Yours Faithfully

Squall.”

His heart was thumping so loudly in his chest, he could barely hear Squall call “come in” when he knocked.             

“Irvine?” The brunette questioned. “Oh yes, I asked you to come didn’t I?”

Irvine nodded slowly, wondering if Squall realised the double entendre behind his words.

“It’s about your SeeD grade. In light of your efforts in the fight against Ultimecia, the garden masters and I agree that you should be made an honorary SeeD. The exam will just be a formality for us to assess you as to your salary.”

(Irvine grinned so wide that he was rivalling Zell for the garden smiling championship.)

“Of course, you still have to do well in the final exam.”

“No worries Squall. I’ll work my ass off.” Irvine stood. “Is that all sir? I should be getting back to class to revise for the exams…”

“One more thing Irvine…”

“Yeah?” Irvine sat back down and put his head slightly to the side. His hair was pulled back into a tight ponytail and it fell away from his shoulder as he smiled, exposing that long slightly tanned neck in an interesting contrast to the blue of his student uniform. Squall wanted to rain down kisses upon that strong but tender flesh.

“About last night…”

“I did you and you did me, I think it’s pretty obvious we both enjoyed it.”

“But what was it?”

“Oh screw this Squall, I’m not going to analyse it just to satisfy that cynic in you.” The cowboy stood with such force that the chair where had been sitting flew across the room. “I’ve wanted you since the day I set eyes on you again you moron.”

“But Selphie…”

“Selphie is my best, best friend. We’re soul mates. And she’s fucking Nida.”

“You seemed…. So….”

“Close. I know. And I wanted to get close to you but I guess that won’t happen now will it? If you still want me say something.” Irvine waited a moment as Squall struggled with himself and with an exasperated moan turned and strode towards the door. He paused; struggling with the old mechanism that Squall had never found time to replace.

Squall buried his face in his hands. Something began to dawn on him.

He wanted Irvine.

More than he had ever wanted anything in years.

He jumped up and crossed to the cowboy, just as Irvine managed to get the door open.

Squall spun the cowboy around, then threw him back against the door.

“I want you Irvine.” He growled softly and caught the Galbadian’s lips in a quick and violent kiss.

Their lips moving together, tongues dancing with each other like fire until each one’s chest viciousness they could not deny.

They parted for a gasping breath and Irvine whispered: “I want you too…”

He grabbed Squall and their lips embraced.

As Irvine’s strong arms snaked around Squall’s waist, he pushed the lion backwards, towards the large oak desk.  “I want you Squall…” He whispered, a pleading whisper filled with a longing that was finally being sated.  He pushed Squall back on the desk, seating him on it roughly, and stole another rain of kisses as his fingers moved beneath Squall’s jacket to the cold silver metal of his Griever necklace.

As Irvine’s tongue flicked across his neck, before the flesh met the cowboy’s teeth for a briefly tantalizing moment, Squall’s head rolled back and he moaned quietly. He could already feel the response of Irvine’s sex through both the soft leather of his own jeans and the denim of Irvine’s. The effect was mind blowing.

A sudden knock at the door brought them both to their senses.

“Squall?” Quistis’s voice called through the door. “Can I come in?”

“Shit!” Irvine giggled like a schoolgirl caught smoking.

“Just a minute Quistis!” Squall called back, trying to mask the slight crack in his voice as Irvine took one last chance to squeeze the front of his jeans slightly.

Squall pushed the cowboy back down into his seat, with just enough force to say he meant it, and then returned to his own seat.

“Spoilsport.” Irvine mumbled and winked.

Squall scowled at him playfully, then called out: “Come in Quistis!”

She entered and began to speak before she even saw Irvine. “Good morning Squall, I was hoping to discuss the training centre budget with……. Oh, hi Irvine. Should I come back later Squall?”

“No need Quisty.” Irvine’s Galbadian drawl shone through the awkward silence. “I was just leaving.” He stood and made his way to the door. “See you guys later.” He said and winked.

A faint blush appeared on the blonde woman’s neck, thinking it was meant for her but a faint smile alighted on Squall’s lips as the cowboy left.

“Now Quistis, you were saying?”

********

Part six. After hours.

His room had never looked so empty, nor felt so cold.

It was well after eleven by the time Squall managed to get to his room, having dealt with more disciplinary actions, proposed missions and complaints in that one day than he had in a month. He shivered softly as he moved to his bed, shedding his jacket on the way, along with his tee shirt and sat back on the bed feeling the goose bumps rise on his naked skin.

As his cold fingers moved down to his belt buckle, struggling to undo the clasp in such a cold environment, there was a faint knock at the door.

He stood as he managed to free the leather of the belt and keeping on hand on the buckle, he walked back to the door. When he opened it, he found the corridor outside his room empty. ‘Probably some kids messing about.’ He mused and returned to his bed, flicking the door shut behind him.

He didn’t realise until later that he hadn’t heard it click shut for three or four minutes.

By then it was a little too late.

As the lion lay still, half asleep and half awake, he almost thought the sound of another person’s breathing in the room was a dream. He opened his eyes again, seeing the faint shadowy outline of a figure bending over the small fireplace in the room.

The stranger whispered “fira” looking down at the fireplace and threw a couple of chunks of wood onto the fire.

The faint orange glow from the fireplace illuminated the stranger’s face and he was no longer a stranger, the blue green eyes as dark as the leaves of an oak, the high cheekbones and pouting lips. The sheen of his auburn brown hair, hanging loose gave the Galbadian cowboy an angelic look that was reaffirmed when he smiled.

“Am I dreaming?” Squall whispered, exhaustion painfully clear in his trembling voice.

The cowboy cocked his head to one side and pouted a little. “Do I look like a dream to you?”

“In this light… yeah” Squall admitted carefully. 

The cowboy crossed the room to the lion, sitting on the edge of his bed and reaching out with gentle fingertips to chase the line of Squall’s jaw. As Squall’s storm cloud grey eyes closed, Irvine took his chance to attack.

Irvine leant down and embraced Squall’s lips with his own, teasing the lions mouth open with the tip of his tongue. Squall’s mouth accepted this small invasion with relish, his body begging for more already. Clumsily, Squall pushed at Irvine’s uniform jacket, trying to remove it while caught up in Irvine’s embrace.

Sensing his desire, Irvine pulled away long enough to pull off his jacket and shirt, then embraced Squall again. The sensation of warm skin against warm skin was too much to bear, and a familiar burning desire reawoke within Irvine.

The gun sure fingers of the cowboy’s hand moved down to stroke Squall’s sex through the cotton of his boxer shorts. Almost on instinct, the lion lifted his hips towards the caressing fingertips, a sigh sounding in his throat as moved to unbuckle Irvine’s jeans.

Irvine freed the hardening sex from it’s restraining cloth, encompassing it with his fingertips and moving backwards and forth, drawing a gentle growl of ecstasy from the lion.

Irvine pushed Squall down onto his pillow and covered him with tender kisses, keeping the hand on Squall’s sex moving and teasing him closer to orgasm.

The small brunette’s head snapped back and his taut body arched as he came. With an almost feline smile, Irvine kissed away Squall’s cry of ecstasy then laid his head on Squall’s heaving chest. The startlingly loud roar of each breath was like music, a prelude for life….

Squall swallowed and laid a hand on Irvine’s head, the pleasure still coursing through his veins like a poison or potion, and he wasn’t quite sure which one it was. “Irvine…” He mumbled softly.

“Yeah?”

Squall placed two fingers underneath the cowboy’s chin and lifted so that their eyes met, moody storm cloud grey against oak leaf green. “Irvine… Fuck me.”

A grin appeared on Irvine’s lips.

“I thought you’d never ask!” The cowboy stood and stepped out of his boots and jeans, letting the silk of his boxer shorts fall slowly with a whisper to the plush carpet of the floor. He pulled Squall a little violently to his feet, catching him in an embrace and sealing it with a kiss before easing his strong hands down from Squall’s shoulders to his lower back.

Squall glared up at Irvine with an almost feral smile. “What are you waiting for?”

Irvine bent his head and kissed the dark bruise that passed for Squall’s lips as Squall’s hand found the cowboy’s sex. And suddenly it was all too much for the cowboy and he threw Squall down onto the bed.

As Irvine leant over him, Squall drew his fingernails down the cowboy’s chest, stopping just short of drawing blood. With a look of pure longing, Irvine pulled back long enough to pull a small tube from his jeans pocket and coat his sex with the contents. In a moment of uncertainty, he looked to Squall again half-whispering: “Sure?”

Squall sighed in exasperation and glared at him. “Would you fuck me already?”

Irvine grinned and forced Squall’s legs apart a little violently, crouching over the lion to kiss him once more. As their lips met, the cowboy forced his way into the lion’s body with one swift thrust. The stifled cry of pleasure-pain was drowned out by the crackling of the logs on the fire. Irvine paused to allow Squall’s body to get used to his invasion, and then began to rock backwards and forwards, in and out of the lion’s body.

To feel the brunette’s body move against him and tense against him was a glimpse of heaven for Irvine.

Squall’s hands played up and down the length of Irvine’s torso, pinching, tickling, scratching and teasing with an innate ease. Moving with Irvine’s fatal rhythm, Squall closed his eyes and lost himself in the emotion of it all.

Squall’s legs twisted around Irvine’s waist inviting deeper penetration and greater sensation and Irvine nearly screamed as his orgasm was wrung from his body with all the brutal efficiency that Squall employed in battle. Irvine came with a silent cry and fell forward onto Squall again, resting again the brunette’s chest.

After several minutes of tortured silence, Irvine sighed and looked up to find Squall staring at him intently, studying him in fact. Irvine inclined his head as though to ask what troubled Squall and the lion half smiled.

“I just keep wondering why?”

“Why what?”

“Why you wanted to fuck me?”

“Because I think you’re beautiful. Because I wanted to know what you were hiding underneath all that leather and ice. Hell, Squall, because I like you.” Irvine smiled seductively. “And I thought you’d be pretty damn good at it!”

Squall closed his eyes and let his head fall back onto the bed once more.

“Okay.”

“Why did you ask?”

”Just curious… That’s all.”

“Don’t you know curiosity killed the cat… or lion?”

“Very funny I don’t think.” Squall pushed the cowboy off the bed and onto the floor with a thump. 

Irvine glared up a little angrily but his breath caught in his throat. The amber glow of the firelight danced over everything contained in the room, turning Squall’s eyes to smouldering coals and catching the lighter strands of his hair.

He looked more like a fire god than Ifrit.

And more beautiful than Siren.

“What is it?” He asked softly.

Irvine rubbed at his eyes and blinked at him. “Don’t worry about it, just kiss me.”

Squall obliged.

The fire kept burning throughout the night, as did their passions. As the morning’s first light breached the heavens, Squall slipped into a restful slumber as Irvine rose and covered him with the quilt from the bed.

He laid a tender kiss on the gunblader’s cheek before dressing and departing.

********

Part Seven. Mistrust.

Two days had passed since their night together, and Squall had been in a meeting in Galbadia for the first day and Irvine had been on his exam for the second, so they had not seen each other. On the morning of the third day as Squall made his way to the cafeteria to silence the growling of his stomach, he heard a familiarly ‘peppy’ voice as an energetic small woman ran towards him.

“Hey Squall! What ya up to?”

“Breakfast.” He said simply.

“Mind if I join you?”

“Go ahead.” Squall said, knowing full well saying no would not discourage Selphie Tilmitt.

After gaining a tray each, they found a quiet table and ate in silence.

At least at first.

Selphie finished before Squall and as she dabbed at her mouth with a napkin she asked: “So was Irvy a good fuck?”

Squall choked on the piece of toast he was chewing at that moment. “What the hell did you just say?”

“Was he good? He told me all about it….” She paused as Squall became a startling shade of red and then white… and then red again. “Squall? What’s wrong?”

“He told you?”

“Sure, he tells me everything.”

Squall stood up so quickly he sent the chair he had been seated on skittering across the floor. He pinched the bridge of his nose of a moment and stormed out of the cafeteria to Irvine’s room. He hammered on the door and heard the cowboy call out: “Yeah, yeah, I’m coming.”

Eventually, the door opened.

“Why?” Squall asked.

“Good morning to you too.”

“You told Selphie!”

“She’s my best friend, of course I told her. We tell each other everything! It’s a package, you get me, you get Selphie, simple as that.” Irvine looked over Squall’s shoulder at a passing gaggle of giggling girls. “Should we continue this discussion of my examination results inside sir?”

Squall shot a look back and nodded. “Yes.” He said as he stepped inside and closed the door behind him.

“Are you ashamed of me Squall?” Irvine asked as he flopped down onto the sofa of the double room. His roommate had already disappeared, probably for breakfast leaving them to talk freely.

“We spent one night together Irvine…. That hardly makes us a couple.”

“I know.” The cowboy replied sadly. “I know too well.”

Squall’s gaze dropped to his boots and he kicked at an imaginary piece of fluff on the carpeted floor, anything to take his gaze away from Irvine. “I didn’t want her to know. I didn’t want anyone to know yet…”

“Was I just a one night stand then?” The cowboy asked. “Just a good fuck?”

“You were the one who fucked me Irvine.”

“I know. I was there and I enjoyed it very much.”

Squall looked up, eyes narrowed in anger. “Did you tell her that too?”

“Squall why are you so bent out of shape about me telling Selphie?”

Squall spun on his heel, walking towards the door as he spoke. “Because what you had was what I keep hidden under all this ice and leather. Like you said the other night. And I prefer to keep it hidden. My personal life is personal, I don’t want the whole damned garden knowing it!”

“Fine! Fuck off then!” Irvine said with a trembling voice, fighting back tears.

Squall stopped in the open doorway and half turned his head back towards Irvine. “By the way, congratulations.”

“What for? Disappointing you?”

“On the contrary, you passed your SeeD field exam with flying colours. You didn’t disappoint me at all.”

Squall slammed the door shut and walked to his office.

And collapsed to the floor in silent sorrow.

It wasn’t until the following day that Squall discovered a letter on his desk from Martine, the headmaster of Galbadia Garden, Irvine’s former home.

He opened it and read through once, and then again more with more care. He could barely believe the contents.

According to the letter, Irvine’s contract with Balamb garden had run out several days before and his return was being demanded by his former headmaster. In a rage, Squall slammed his fingers onto the keys of his videophone and dialled Martine’s number. The headmaster answered in a matter of moments.

Before he even spoke, Squall held the letter up and growled: “what the fuck do you call this?”

“I take it that’s Mr Kinneas’ summons?”

“Yes.”

“I sent you a letter of notice last week, I can’t think why you wouldn’t have received it…” The middle aged man said with a sly smile. “So when will we receive our sharp shooter?”

“There’s nothing I can do to change your mind?”

“No. It’s all in his contract.”

Squall buried his head in his hands and bit back the tears in his eyes. “Martine. I swear, when I find a loop hole for this, I’ll have him back here and your head as a trophy on my wall.”

“I look forward to that day Mr Leonhart.”

The screen went black and Squall looked down at his gunblade case beside him. “It’d be worth it…” He whispered and sighed, standing and making his way to the quad where Irvine was helping Selphie set up for the garden festival.

“Kinneas!” Squall called. The cowboy looked down, right into his eyes frowning for a moment before jumping down to speak to him.

“Come to berate me again?”

Squall winced, caught up wanting to apologise but having his pride keep him from speaking. “Martine wants you back. He’s given me no choice.” He handed the letter to Irvine and hung his head in a combination of shame and sorrow.  “I can’t stop it.”

Irvine screwed the piece of paper up and dropped it at Squall’s feet. “There’s always a choice Squall. I guess I made the wrong one in loving you.” And with that, he turned and left for his room.

“Loving me…?” Squall mumbled, turning to stop the cowboy only finding it to be already too late.

Shaken to the core, Squall stood there motionless for a full five minutes. In the middle of the crowd assisting Selphie set up the stage for the festival, he had never felt so utterly alone.

********

Part eight. Farewell again.

Squall found himself standing at that same platform where he had seen Rinoa off. In five days since he had said goodbye to the young sorceress his life had been rocked.  Part of him longed for those days he had spent with Rinoa and yet… He longed for Irvine.

But his pride kept him from saying that.

He was being an idiot and he knew it, he just couldn’t help himself.

With a whistle the train began to pull away from the platform. He heard Selphie sob loudly as he passed her, following the train as far as he could. At the end of the platform he stopped, hanging his head.

The sound of clicking heels signalled Selphie’s approach. “This is your fault Squall. I had to say goodbye to my best friend in the whole world because you couldn’t accept what you really are, or what you really felt….”

“Selphie, shut up.”

“I will not! You are a cold, heartless bastard Squall Leonhart and…”

He turned on her, sunlight shimmering on the tracks of his tears. “Does a cold heartless bastard cry when he says goodbye to someone he loves Selphie?” He asked.

He pushed past her, on his way back to garden. While alone with his thoughts, something snapped inside him. “I’m pushing him away, I’m hurting the both of us because I’m a coward…. I’m not going to loose him like the others….”

That afternoon, when Selphie had plucked up the courage to go to Squall’s office and apologise she found him gone. On his desk, she found a note sitting on the original SeeD manual that Cid had written.

The note said.

Gone to find a cowboy,

got a way to bring him home.

Not such a cold bastard, right Selph?

See you when WE get back.

Squall

She picked up the SeeD, manual and read aloud. “The commander of Balamb garden, the first garden, will have control over all SeeD movements, no matter what garden, and their decision will be final regarding the placement over said SeeDs.”

She smiled.

“You got him by the balls Squall!”

********

Part nine. A good Night.

The final part.

The chamber clicked into place and the cowboy wiped the excess oil away.

Martine had been glad to see him, or had at least pretended to be. Irvine had a feeling the only thing that Martine was glad about was getting one over on Squall.

Squall. Even the thought of the brunette with smouldering eyes took his breath away. But that was gone now. He had to stop thinking about it.

The sound of a knock at the door startled him. Crossing the single room to open it, he found Martine there.

“Headmaster?”

“Have you unpacked your things yet Mr Kinneas?”

“Not all of it sir.” He shook his head. “Why do you ask?”

“Pack up again… You’re going back to Balamb. Tonight.”

“May I ask why Sir?”

“Commander Leonhart is very resourceful…. And highly persuasive.”

“Okay Martine. That’s enough.”  A familiar voice said and Irvine peeked around the door in an effort to find out whether his ears were deceiving him or not.

Squall Leonhart looked at him and smiled, then lowered the blade of the Lionheart from Martine’s neck.

“Squall?”

“Yeah.”

Martine took his chance and left quickly.

Irvine swept Squall up in an embrace and a kiss before he realised what he was doing. When he broke the kiss off, Squall whispered: “I’m sorry Irvine. Please, come back to garden, Selphie wants you there…. I want you there.”

“But….” He gazed into Squall’s eyes, filled with hope and perhaps a spark of something more…

“Irvine… please… You said you made the wrong choice in loving me… Well, I think I made the right one in loving you.”

“You lo…”

Squall placed a finger on Irvine’s lips. “Come back to Balamb. We’ll make sure we made the right choice.”

Irvine kissed the finger, drawing it into his mouth and teasing it with his tongue. “I’m sure already…”

The End.

For now at least.

(God damn that was a pain to write!)

I will write a fanfic for the 20th reviewer of this fic, I am that desperate for reviews!