THE DARKNESS.

BY PURPLE PENGUIN.

Disclaimer: All the characters, places and everything

belongs to Squaresoft. I don’t own anything.

~Nothing~

*THUMP* I awoke startled and looked up to see the irritated look on Instructor Trepe’s face. I found it weird having to call her Instructor after all I’d grown up with her even if she wasn’t actually a friend I still knew her well.

“Please try to stay awake in class Seifer, I know you probably find this lesson boring seeing as you failing year after year.” She folded her arms doing her best angry teacher look.

I scowled back at her resting my chin on my arms as I watched her return to her desk. It was ironic really all the other students in class were 16,17 while I was 20, even the Instructor was younger than me for hyne’s sake, two months and four days younger. I’ probably the oldest person in this garden now that Cid has left. I thought people were supposed to respect their elders but no one has any respect for me. I guess their still can’t get over the soressess’ knight thing. I don’t blame them not really, there only one thing that really bugs me and that’s the way they all respect and drool over that fucking prick headmaster Leonhart. So he saved the world big whoop it wasn’t like he did it on his own. They were all treated like Heroes, Quistis got to be an instructor again, Irvine instantly became a Seed, Selphie and Rinoa became official moral boosters. (Like Rinoa could boost moral, five seconds of talking to her and even a cheerful person like Selphie would be chucking themselves off a cliff.) But Zell didn’t get any reward or credit and he doesn’t seem to care. I always thought that was unfair not that I said anything the only I speak to Zell is to make fun of him.

“Seifer?”

“Huh?”

Instructor Trepe was glaring at me again.

“You’re not listening.”

What’s up with her, I don’t need to listen I’ve had this class for four years now. I always do well on the written test it’s the mission where I fail.

I smirked and answered in a snide voice.

“I’m sorry Instructor, but I’ve had this lesson so many times that I know what they’re going to say before you’ve said it.”

“Well maybe that will give you extra incentive to pass this time.”

There was contempt in her voice but I think she was just showing off for her fan club because she doesn’t hate me that much.

When class was finally over I was so relieved I didn’t have anymore for that day. I walked down the hall towards the elevators stopping in my usually spot. You see I may act like an insensitive prick with no feelings but I have an obsession with the cutest guy in garden. Everyday at the same time he stops by this place I always made sure I’m there if I didn’t get my daily dosage of him I’ll go crazy. Fuujin says I’m setting myself up for a fall but I know he could never want be back so what’s the harm. Just then the elevator doors open. He’s walking with Selphie talking, laughing. I can tell he’s fresh from training he’s all sweating, his blonde hair unusually flat sticking to his forehead, he’s grinning from ear-to-ear. He must be talking about a fight because he’s boxing the air. He has no idea how adorable he looks right now, he doesn’t notice me until it’s too late.

“Hey Chicken-Wuss.” I know I’m cruel but I’ve always bullied him, if I suddenly started being nice to him now it’ll kind of give the game away.

I watch him smile instantly vanish as he bares his teeth and clenches his teeth.

“Don’t call me that!”

I grin in return he’s so easy to wind up and if possible he looks even better, Selphie tells him to ignore me and tries to drag him along. I know he won’t forget about this incident for a while no matter what Selphie says to him. Fuujin’s the only one who knows how I feel about Zell; she’s my best friend I trust her with my life. She tells me to stop this before I turn into a stalker or something. Heh, that’s why I haven’t shown her my photos. We’re grown closer since Raijin left he lives in Balamb now with his wife Elfin. We still see him from time-to-time but it’s not the same as things were, nothing is anymore the whole world seems to be changing around me and I’m getting left behind. I feel so different to everyone else; they all seem to have their friends, family, and lovers. They go about their lives feeling happy, sad, angry... I feel nothing I have nothing. Fuujin’s the only one keeping me sane around her I feel normal, around Zell if only for a moment I feel happy, around anybody else I feel nothing. If I had Zell I know I’ll be freed from the darkness that’s pulling me in. Everyday I fall deeper and deeper.

I put up this mask, this disguise that I’m proud, cocky, arrogant, that I’m in control even Fuujin sees this mask in public. In reality, I’m weak, useless, worthless and pathetic.

I am nothing.

Why would Zell want me? He could do so much better, he deserves better.

It’s one horrible spiral if a miracle did happen and Zell became mine, it’ll be unfair on him I’ll only be holding him back from finding someone wonderful who could give him anything he wanted. But if I never got him and he left to find that someone, I might as well surrender and let the darkness take my soul. I’ll once again be nothing.

Dr. Kadowacki knows how I feel about Zell. There was an accident I had to help I could just leave him there. About a month ago I was killing grats in the training centre when a T-rexaur roar and a male scream pierced the air. Curious, I went to investigate. I’ve never felt such anger in all my life all other emotions left and there was just this intense anger throbbing in my head. The T-rexuar stood over Zell’s unconscious body. I flew at it like a madman slashing and hacking with everything I had. I sorta felt disappointed when it fell dead my anger wasn’t satisfied yet. I wanted something else to blame. My eyes soon fell on Zell and I rushed over to him checking his pulse and casting a curaga my anger quickly turning into desperation when he didn’t move, he’s breathing and he’s got a pulse so why wasn’t he moving! I picked him up in my arms like you would a child and ran to the infirmary with him clutched to my chest I was glad it was late at night so there was no one around to question me.

When I reached the infirmary the doctor was sitting ay her desk typing on her laptop. She looked surprised to see me as she followed me over to the bed that I had put Zell on. I could see the accusing in her eyes she thought I’d done that to him. She then turned to look at my fingers as I stroked his hair and tattoo.

“I’d never hurt him.” I had said simply.

Her eyes showed under standing and I knew she knew.

“Don’t tell him I was the one who brought him in here.”

She nodded.

“Take care of him.”

The existed chatter of some junior class men brought me out of me thoughts and I realized I’d been standing in the corridor for too long.

I slowly pushed myself off the wall and walked to the elevator. I was supposed to meet Fuujin in the cafeteria but I needed a shower first so I headed for my dorm.

Once inside I shut and locked the door instantly peeling off that disgusting blue trainee SeeD uniform and sat on my bed in my boxers. I pulled open the draw beside my bed taking out my photos the ones I took without anyone knowing. Zell and his friends Selphie, Quistis, Irvine, Squall, and Rinoa were at the beach on a day trip they didn’t know I was around. All the pictures were of Zell he looked so happy, so adorable. I had had a favourite once of Selphie tickling him. They were both laughing. I treasured that photo, took it everywhere but one night in a jealous, drunken rage after hearing rumours that they were a couple I ripped it to shreds then I’d broken down desperately trying to put the pieces back together needless to say it was ruined.

I flipped through the seven remaining photos picking one of Zell sitting on the sand a calm half-smile on his face. I smiled slightly and kissed the photo. I know it’s sad but this was as close as I was ever going to get to him.

I sigh, putting the pictures away going into the bathroom. I turn on the shower when heat is right I step in leaning back on the wall closing my eyes.

My obsession with Zell has stopped me from being with anybody else, I’ve never been loved, never had a proper girlfriend or boyfriend, I’ve never had sex. I don’t feel like a virgin but I am one. I went out with Rinoa but she wasn’t a real girlfriend. I’d tell her about my problems but I could tell she didn’t give a damn. She’d tell me about her problems, they seemed trivial to me, she said her father was too protective, her boyfriend was too needy and she didn’t know how to dump them. She hated these people for loving her, she had lots people willing to be with her and she complained about it. All I wanted was for someone to need me, someone to care, someone to love me and nobody will. She was a snuck up clingy, whiney little girl who wanted everything her way, even Squall deserved better than that but he was too blind to see it.

I grabbed the shampoo off the shelf and rubbed a little into my hair.

Of course I’d thought about ending it all but then I would have lost and the darkness would have won. I couldn’t let that happen it was already close to taking my soul I couldn’t let it have my body as well.

I finished washing my hair and stepped out of the shower drying myself. I dressed in black jeans, black v neck t-shirt, black doc martins and my beloved trench coat.

As I stepped into the cafeteria my disguise appeared instantly. I nod as I strut over to the drinks machine shoving a couple of junior class men out the way to get there ignoring their curses as I walk over to Fuujin’s table a root beer in my hand.

“Hey.” I said with a fake smile on my face.

“Hi.” She smiled back as I sit down opposite her.

“So how was your day?” She asks.

“The usual, had to listen to the same talk on G.F control that they’ve had for the last four years.” I frowned then formed a new fake smile.

“What about you?”

She smiles brightly. “Well....” She starts excitedly telling me about some guy who’s interested in her but I’m not really paying too close attention as Zell and Selphie walk in laughing and joking and totally oblivious of me. I remember the rumours and looking at them start to believe them. I was suddenly jealous and my mask started to crack. Fuujin looked up noticing my obvious tension.

“What?” Then she sees them. “Oh.”

“You heard the rumours right?” I ask.

“Do you want to leave?”

“No, I’m happy for them.” Yeah so happy I wanted to curl up and die.

“They’re true you know the rumours.”

I looked puzzled. “How do you know?”

“Quistis is one of my closest friends now, she told me they’re as close as siblings and are sick of people making assumptions about them.”

I felt relieved for a moment then the hope drained out me I remembered how hopeless it all was.

“Seifer, why not do something about it?”

“About what?”

“You and Zell.”

“There is no me and Zell.”

“There could be if you tried.”

I frowned I knew how much Zell hated me for bullying him and whatever I said would never change anything.

“I’m not saying confess your undying love for him, just be nice to him, drop the mask and stop bullying him. You may find he’ll like you better. At the least you could be friends that’s better that nothing right?”

“I don’t know Fuu....”

“Give it a go. What have you got to lose?”

She did have a point if I had nothing to start with then I had nothing to lose.

For the first time in ages I let a small genuine smile show itself.

As I walked from the cafeteria I was getting less and less enthusiast. I was the master at negative thinking. I could see Zell laughing at me and shouting taunts for all the years I’d made his life hell. I decided then and there that I had to find him and apologize. He was still in the cafeteria but I wasn’t going to go in there with Selphie at the same table and all those other people who hated me at other tables. I could hear the jeering in my head. I sat on a bench near the main directory I would wait for him to leave then approach him. If this did work... I began to realistically imagine what a relationship with Zell would be like. All the taunts and insults I got would also be aimed at him. He would lose his friends, popularity, reputation, all because of me, was I really that selfish? To put myself first like that. If we were together I’d be ecstatic but he’d be miserable. I love him too much to do that to him. I still want to be friends though.

I look up and see him walking towards me, thank hyne he’s alone I don’t think I’d have to courage to go up to him if Selphie were there. He’s got his hands in his pockets, he looks so relaxed. He’s beautiful, absolutely perfect. Just as he’s about to past me I call out.

“Zell!” He turns around startled when he sees me I watch as his guard instantly goes up. I hold up my hands as a sign that I’m not going to hate him.

“It’s okay, calm down I come in peace.”

I step up to him as he lowers his fists.

“Zell, I wanted to apologize for early and for all the time I’ve made fun of you really.” I smiled a real smile he just stared at me mouth open in disbelief.

“Are you okay?” I asked placing my hand on his shoulder. I liked touching him it felt good.

“Are you okay Seifer? You’re not dying are you?”

I chuckled lightly. “No I’m not dying. I just thought it was time I grew up a little. Anyways I now know what it’s like to have other people you down.”

I reluctantly withdrew my hand, backing away slightly.

“Anyway, I’ll see you round Zell.”

“Y-yeah... see ya.”

I think I scared the shit out of him with that. It went well though. I was beginning to listen to my positive side again but it was only the beginning and as I knew so well everything could come tumbling down so very quickly.

___________________________________________________________

At the end of my last class I was actually grinning since yesterday when I had apologized to Zell, every time I’d seen him I had made sure to say ‘Hi’ or smile at first he just looked confused but just before class I’d passed him as usual I smiled and for once he grinned causing my smile to grow wider. As I walked to the elevators I thought maybe I’d ask him to sit with me for lunch or vice versa. My confidence around him had increased.

And no it’s not like one of those corny movies where my true love is nice to me and I’m instantly cured. No way I can still sense it, it still haunts me the darkness it’s waiting. But now there’s this tiny light in the distance the darkness is afraid of it. I have to make the light brighter then I’ll be free.

Suddenly the elevator doors opened and there he is, again he’s walking with Selphie. They both notice me Selphie scowled looking fierce he hasn’t told this bothers me for a minute if he hasn’t told his best friend maybe it’s not a big deal to him, maybe he doesn’t care. Despite my negativity he smiles.

“Hey Seifer.” he sounds chirpy laid back like he is with everyone else.

“Hey Zell.” Selphie looks on, totally gobsmacked her mouth hanging open, she’s more surprised than Zell was the first time.

“Hey, look I was wondering if you’re not busy you wanna grab some lunch with me?” I asked. Much to my delight Zell smiled he did look a little surprised but nodded.

“Yeah okay, just came up here to walk Selphie to class...” he trailed off after seeing the look on my face, she looked like she was going to faint, all pale and still.

“Hey, you okay?” Zell waved a hand in front of her face. She blinked.

“I’m sorry I think I just slipped into the twilight zone.”

Both Zell and I smiled.

“It’s okay Selphie, we’re mates now.” He said.

Mates? He called us mates? If I had grinned anymore my face would have split in two. Zell was turning me into a lovesick schoolgirl. I felt giddy around him.

The next few weeks were bliss I meet him every lunchtime. We talked about everything. He told me that he and Selphie were just friends and finally after I told him I was Bi he told me he was gay. Turns out he hates Squall and Rinoa as much as I do. I was a little disappointed when he told me he was in love with someone that he hadn’t told yet, a friend he said. I kept thinking of Zell’s male friends to guess who it might be. My advice to him was to tell him or else he might be missing out on a chance of happiness. Zell replied: he couldn’t risk losing this person as a friend and that reminded me of myself. I would never tell Zell how I felt because if he rejected me my light would gone and once more the darkness would take me and I would be nothing. I need him around even if we are just friends. I have feelings now and I have some of my family back. Zell, Ouistis, Selphie, Irvine and myself went to visit matron last week at first I felt dread remembering her as the soressess but at soon as he saw my discomfort, Zell was by my side and that’s where he stay all evening. He never left me. I also have more friends. Fuujin, Selphie and Zell, they’re always there for me. I’m also in love even if I don’t admit it.

I walked back to my dorm where I was meeting Fuujin. She was already there when I arrived. She smiled looking happy and bouncy like Selphie I wondered what had happened.

“I’ve been talking to Selphie.” Fuujin said grinning madly she was laying on her stomach on my bed.

“What about?”

“Zell and his feelings for you.”

That got my attention.

“Zell’s got feelings for me?! What else did she say?”

“She told me not to tell you.”

“Is it good news?”

She burst in to a fit of giggles nodding through them. It must be good to make Fuujin giggle.

I sighed, this was brilliant. There was a bright sun now instead of the speck of light and the darkness hovered around the outside afraid to come near. I felt as high as a kite and I didn’t think I’d even come down.

HOW WRONG I WAS.

I had agreed to meet Zell and Selphie at the docks in Balamb to teach them how to fish. The sun was setting when I left Balamb and it was semi-darkness as I walked through the streets of Balamb. I was already late so I took a short cut through an allay. It was quiet, too quiet I felt a presence behind me turning around to find no one. I heard a sound ahead I backed up scared.

“Hello?” I called.

Nothing.

I sighed. I’ve got an overactive imagination. I continued walking glancing over my shoulder occasionally, listening for any unusual noises. I stopped dead in my tracks when I heard whispering and footfalls grower louder and louder with each minute. I hesitated only for a moment before turning and running back the way I had came. As the whispers became clearer I hurried franticly stumbling over my own feet. I heard a rush of air as if something was being swung I turned just in time to get hit full in the face with a club. I fell down still desperately trying to get away crawling around on my hands and knees blood dripping down my face blocking my vision. I heard laughter and more whispering as the club came down on the back of my head. Darkness ensued and I collapsed.

I awoke later having no idea how long I’d been out or where I was. All I knew was I had a splitting headache, I was cold, naked and lying in a puddle. I glanced around there was no sign of my attacks. It looked like I was in a warehouse, there were wooden boxes and crates stacked in the corner the roof was high and pigeons rested on the beams cooing softly. I turned my head to view the wall in front of me where there was some writing in blue spray paint. I gasped when I read it.

STAY AWAY FROM HIM!

HE DOESN’T WANT YOU!

YOUR WORTHLESS!

HOW COULD YOU THINK ANY DIFFERENT!

NO, Zell wouldn’t do this to me. He wouldn’t I kept repeating it trying it make myself believe it and trying to hold back the tears that threatened.

It could hear it again. It was laughing, telling me I was a fool to trust the light and now it was the only thing I had left. I shook my head ignoring the voice I’ve had had enough of being of being weak and a slave to the darkness I wasn’t about to give up so soon. Zell wouldn’t hurt me like this not anymore I trusted him.

I struggled to get up getting to my hands and knees cringing as a stabbing pain shot through my skull I had to ignore it and keep going. I rose to a sitting position black dots began to cloud my vision. I pressed my fist into my forehead avoiding the gash where the club had first hit waiting for the pain to stop and my vision to clear. The pain lessened slightly and I slowly stood up, there was no sign of my clothes. I rummaged through the wooden boxes looking for something to cover myself with. There were several black bin liners so I wrapped one of them around my waist just enough to cover my groin. The main doors were heavy metal with no handle or lock they wouldn’t budge I backed up looking for another way out all the windows were up high with the pigeons the walls were solid thick stone. I started to panic if this place was abandoned I’d starve. I didn’t want to die in here. Not now that I’ve got close to the one person whom I’ve wanted for so long, the one person who could save me. I ran around the edges keeping close to the wall until I came to a small side room after kicking the door in you couldn’t believe how relieved I was to find a low window. I rummaged through a drawer to find a screwdriver I smashed the window and climbed through. I didn’t have any clothes to protect me from getting cut so my legs and arms had scratches and cuts all over them. As soon as I was out I fled I’ve never ran so fast in all my life. The tears started to fall as I ran towards garden. I needed to get away. I knew something like this would happen my life was going too well. I was too happy. I had to come tumbling down it always does.

I finally reached my dorm window which I was glad I’d left open. I didn’t want to face the taunts from the students seeing me half naked, bleeding and crying my eyes out.

As I hit the carpeted floor I realized for the first time I was cold so I pulled the blankets and sheets off my bed and into the corner making something of a nest. Curling up into a ball sobbing pathetically. I couldn’t handle this not on my own I needed somebody and I knew who that somebody was, no matter what the writing on the wall had said. So what if they killed me for being with him I felt dead without him anyway. I scanned the room for the phone, retreating back to my nest with the phone in my hand. Blinking back the tears so I could so see straight. I dialled the number I knew by heart. I trying to slow my breathing as I waited.

“Hello?”

My heart lifted slightly just from hearing his voice.

“Zell.” My voice was barely a whisper.

“Seifer? Where were you today? I was worried about ya.”

I made a pathetic whimper.

“Are you okay? Has something happened?” He sounded so concerned and for a moment I didn’t know what to say.

“Z-Zell I need... your h-help I... was attacked in B-Balamb...” I trailed off not knowing what to say.

“Are you in your dorm?”

“Yeah.”

“Hold on I’m coming.”

I hung up feeling a little better. I soon heard my code getting typed in.

“SEIFER?!” he called from the doorway. I didn’t reply. He stepped into the room as his eyes fell on me he was by my side on his knees. Total concern in his beautiful eyes.

“Seifer...oh hyne...” he gently touched the gash on my forehead causing my to wince slightly.

He held a hand to my head casting two curages one for each gash.

“Wait a minute.” he disappeared into the bathroom coming back with two painkillers and a glass of water. He handed them to me.

“Here come on, sit up.” He helped me into a sitting position. I took the tablets settling down once more. I didn’t expect him to stay just to now he cared was enough.

He sat beside my nest gently stroking my hair.

“Are you sure you’re okay? Is there anything I can do?”

“If you want to leave then go I won’t hold it against you.” I gazed into his eyes to see shock, puzzlement and more concern. He shifted himself closer placing his hands on my shoulders and arms moving me so that my head rested on his lap and he continued to stroke my hair and forehead, whispering things to calm me. I felt sleep beckoning me in and my lids grew heavy. So I feel asleep in the arms of the guy I adore.

I awoke to the sun shining in my eyes irritated I buried my head into the blankets. Then a thought accured to me. Where was he? I glanced around

“Zell?” I sighed. I hadn’t expected him to stay but it would have been nice to have him there.

Just then the door opened and Zell walked in.

“Hey, you’re awake. I got breakfast.” he held up a brown paper bag. I could the contents from where I lay instantly recognizing it. Hotdogs. I wasn’t surprised I’ve never seen Zell eat anything else. He pulled a chair out from under my desk placing it to the side of me. After he’d sat down he handed me a hotdog.

“Here.”

“No thanks I’m not hungry.”

He gave me a look.

“Don’t give me that. You must be hungry you haven’t eaten since yesterday lunchtime.”

“I just don’t eat hotdogs for breakfast. Normal people don’t eat hotdogs for breakfast.”

He stood. “I could get you something else.”

“No, no that’s okay.” I didn’t want to be a burden to him.

“I’ll eat half.” I offered.

He smiled “Half is good.”

I grudgingly took the paper bag. We ate in silence.

After breakfast Zell left for class he had managed to get me the day off which I guess wasn’t hard seeing as my Instructor was Quistis. I decided I needed a shower to clean the cuts I got from climbing through the window.

Zell had said when all he’s classes were over he’d come back and bring Selphie and Fuujin with him. I didn’t want everyone to know but I trusted my friends. It was good we were all going to be together because I was thinking about telling them what the writing on the wall had said. I didn’t want to scare them but I had to warn them in case these people tried something else.

After my shower I came to a new conclusion I shouldn’t just throw away everything I’d done so far, I shouldn’t give in so easily. I was sick and tried of being weak and useless and it had to stop. The more I thought about it in this context the angrier I became. I sat back and thought hard about the attack to see if there was anything I remembered about my attackers, their voices, something they may have said, how many there were or if I saw something.

I remembered a time in the middle when I was conscious without them knowing. I heard them talking one of them mentioned the Jackal, which was a club in Balamb it was known for its reputation for harbouring criminals. I’d been there once or twice when I was the soressess’ knight that was probably how they knew me. But then I started to think these guys were hit men as they talked about getting paid quite a lot. I tried to remember some names they were talking so they must have called each other something. There were two men and the one in charge was called... Zack. I grinned. Grabbing Hyperion I was already heading for the door. I would go to the Jackal and question this guy... if I could find him.

I stood staring up at the big flashing purple sign of the Jackal. Some the letters were broken so it actually read: T J CK L.

I pulled the collar of my black leather jacket around my neck and went inside. The place was empty except for the barman who was wiping down the bar.

“We’re closed.” he said without looking up.

“I’m looking for someone a hit man named Zack.”

The bartender glanced up. “Never hear of him.”

“You sure?”

Just then a man came out the back room obviously no seeing me.

“Alright I’m outta here.”

My eyes widen. The man was tall but not as tall as me with long black hair tied back in a ponytail, he wore black leather pants, black T-shirt and a very familiar long white trench coat with red crosses on the sleeves. I unsheathed Hyperion he turned hearing the noise. I think he recognized me as he went all pale before bolting out the door with me right behind him. He ran down the street but I easily caught up with him grabbing him by the back of my trench coat shoving him against a wall, his back to me.

“Look man, I was just don’t my job. What do you want?”

“Firstly I want my coat back.”

“Take it.” he tried to struggle out of it. I took it off him dropping it to the floor so I wouldn’t lose my grip on him.

“Secondly I’m going to ask you a few questions. Who hired you and why?”

“Oh man, he didn’t tell me his name.”

“What did he look like?”

“Average height, brown hair.”

“What else? Did he tell you anything about himself?”

“... He said he had friends in high places and he’ll get me busted if I didn’t do as he asked... He also said he was the commander of something.”

“Commander of what?”

“I’m not sure?”

“The army? the military?... Seed?”

“Yeah that’s it he said he was the commander of Seed.”

I froze. Squall? I knew he hated me but I didn’t think he’d do this. I turned the guy around so he so facing me.

“Did he have a scar like mine?”

“Yeah.”

I stepped back. “Thanks.” I said before punching him hard knocking him out.

I took off my leather jacket replacing it with my trench coat. As I returned to garden I wondered how I was going to tell Zell and the others about this and what I was going to do about Squall.

The clock read 5:00 as I paced up and down the living room all classes finished at 5:00 so my friends would be here soon. During the day I had worried about how I was going to tell them. As a distraction I had made the bed, cleaned and tidied my whole dorm room.

There was a knock at the door. I opened it to find Zell, Fuujin and Selphie.

The girls looked worried and Zell had a soft smile on his face.

“Come in sit down.” We walked to the living room with both girls fussing over me, continuously asking me if I was okay, like they expected me to be suicidal or something.

“Listen guys, I’ve got some stuff to tell you.” I said after we were sitting down. The girls took the sofa and Zell perched on the arm of the armchair where I sat.

I took a deep breath. “When I regained consciousness late night there was some writing that suggested that my attackers were hired by someone I knew...”

“Are you sure wasn’t someone you hurt as the soressess’ knight.” Selphie said interrupting me.

I shook my head looking down, leaning on Zell slightly when he put his arm around my shoulders.

The writing was about something recent... It read: Stay away from him... He doesn’t want you... You’re useless... How could you think any different.

“Oh.” Selphie said simply.

Zell pulled me close nuzzling his cheek into my hair.

“There’s more. I remembered one of my attackers mention the Jackal...”

“The club?” Selphie interrupted me again.

I nodded. “...So this morning I when there and I found a guy wearing my trench coat, I questioned him and he told me he was hired by a guy who called himself the head of SeeD and he had a scar like mine.”

The girls jumped up.

“WHOA!” Selphie yelled.

“Are you sure it’s not someone trying to frame Squall?”

“I don’t know but...”

“No!”

We all looked at Zell who had his fists clenched and he looked pissed.

“No it was Squall. He’s jealous, he came on to me the other day, I turned him down. I guess he’s trying to get rid of some of the competition. That would explain the writing wouldn’t it.”

“But... But I can’t believe Squall would do that, I mean we grew up together.” Selphie sighed flopping back onto the couch.

“What are you going to do?”

“I Don’t know except get a transfer to another garden. I don’t want to stay after what he’s done.”

“Me either.”

“Same here.” Zell and Fuujin agreed with me.

“What you’re all gonna leave me?”

“Come with us Selphie.”

“But I’ll have to leave all my friends again, you too Fuujin and Zell what if they don’t have hotdogs in the other garden?”

“Selphie I’m not forcing you to do anything and that goes for all of you.”

“I’ll think about it.” Selphie replied before leaving.

Fuujin stood too. “Seifer just want you to know I’m behind you in whatever you do.”

“Thanks Fuu.”

She smiled before leaving also.

I sank in to the sofa glad that was over leaning back closing my eyes. I was slightly startled when a body crawled up beside me and a head landed on my chest.

“When you leave I’m coming with you.”

I opened my eyes and looked down.

“But don’t you want to stay? Don’t you want to be with guy you love?”

“I am.”

“What!” I said thinking I’d misheard him.

“I wanna be with you Seifer. I love you.”

I was grinning like an idiot again as I replied.

“I love you too.”

“I felt the weight on my chest vanish as he sat up beside me.

He leaned in to kiss me and I eagerly kissed him back shifting on the sofa slightly so I could press my body against his. I’d dreamt about this moment so many times before and I wondered if he had thought about this moment before.

He broke the kiss and snuggled against me. I could tell neither of us was in the mood for anything physical we just enjoyed each other’s company.

He stayed with me that night and no we didn’t have sex.

I’ve been at Trabia for 9 months now. Selphie didn’t come with us I didn’t expect her to. She and the others visited regularly though and guess what I finally became a SeeD.

Life is good now. Of course there are people here who blame me for the bombing but I ignore them. Best of all I’ve got the most beautiful lover in all the world. I was right Zell did save me in more ways than one, there is no more darkness that left a long time ago and I got the last laugh.

THE END.