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The Longest Road.


"I might need you to hold me tonight
I might need you to say it's alright
I might need you to make the first stand
'Cuz tonight I'm finding it hard to be your man."


"That's why you gotta hold me."


Hold me by Savage Garden.




Chapter twenty one; Truths.




Zell reached out, hoping to find his lover lying beside him but was disappointed. Pushing himself up, he looked at the digital clock on the bedside table, seeing it read 01:35.

"Squall?" He called quietly.

Someone mumbled from a far corner and Zell switched a lamp on to see.

Squall was sitting on a chair with his knees pulled up to his chin just watching him.

"What's wrong baby?"

Squall shook his head.

"Come here then."

Squall obeyed and returned to his accepted place beside his lover, staring at him so much that it scared Zell a little.

"Are you sure you're okay?" He reached out to touch the brunette's cheek. "You're so quiet tonight." Squall closed his eyes and nuzzled into Zell's strong hand.

"I'm always quiet aren't I?"

"Not always. Not anymore anyway." He moved to kiss Squall and it was gratefully accepted. Zell was surprised when Squall enveloped him in a tight embrace, holding him as though he never wanted to let go. "Squall? What aren't you telling me?"

"Just......... just hold me for now, okay?"

"Sure....."

Zell drifted off to sleep and something dawned on Squall. The silence that he so longed for did not exist in truth. Leaning against Zell's chest he could hear the quiet thunder of a heartbeat and soft purr of rushing breath. And he felt more at peace in that moment than any other.

As Squall wondered how he'd be able to tell Zell what he had learned, he fell asleep.





As a blonde tornado known as Zell Dincht whirled out of the bathroom shouting "Where's my jeans?" at the top of his voice, Ayden giggled and hid behind the sofa holding the missing clothing. Squall sighed and reached over the cushions and picked up the item and gave the boy a stern look with a twinkle of laughter in his eye.

"Ayden. Room."

"Okie!" The boy bounded off.

"Awww. I'm gonna be late!" As Zell reached to take the clothing from Squall, the brunette took a moment to stare deep into those Mediterranean blue eyes. "What?"

"Zell, I need to talk to you. Now."

"Can't it wait?" Zell asked before realising how serious Squall was. "It can't, what is it?" He questioned as he slipped the denim shorts on and stepped back into his sneakers.

"I spoke to Kadowaki yesterday. She said...." He paused, his heart leaping to his throat.

"Oh, they found out what it is! Well?"

Squall blinked a few times, trying to clear his vision, rubbed a hand over his features and swallowed hard. He had never found it so hard to speak, not even in telling Zell he loved him. "She says I'm going to die Zell. It's going to kill me."

"No.............." Zell gasped and stumbled back a few steps. Blood roared like a lion in his ears and his heart sank like a stone. "You......"

Squall looked so close to tears it scared Zell. "It's true Zell."

"No." Zell stated defiantly. Then he turned and ran.

The lion stared blankly after his lover, unsure of the next course of action. He shook his head to clear the confusion from his system and dashed to the doorway. Zell was already long gone but Kyra Raven and Naki Keza were walking towards him.

Naki stopped still in the corridor and folded her arms. "What have you done to him now?"

"Naki..." Kyra cautioned.

"Would you keep an eye on Ayden?" Squall asked and Naki nodded.

"Love to!" She exclaimed. Kyra rolled her eyes and followed her exuberant friend into the room.




As Squall entered the main hub of the Garden, he glanced around at all the possible destinations and instantly knew where his lover had gone. The Doctors office would be too quiet, the cafeteria too crowded, the library too full of hurtful memories, the car park too dark and the training centre too dangerous.




In the Quad a blonde stood alone.

"Thought you'd be here." Squall ventured quietly. "This was the first place I said I loved you, and it's quite quiet at this time of day."

Zell remained silent.

"Zell? Zelly?" He called again. "Please Zell, all I did was tell you the truth."

"I know." Zell whispered, barely loud enough for Squall to hear. "That's how come it hurts so much baby........" He stared down at the concrete floor. He spun and faced Squall with red rimmed eyes. "But, you're Squall Leonhart. You faced a thousand battles and didn't even get knocked out. You were the one who finished off Ultimecia, the only one left standing to face her in those final moments. You're one of those guys who's supposed ta live forever!"

"I never made that kind of bargain Zell. When we were putting up the tent back then so we could get a good nights sleep, I just asked the guardians to give me the strength to be able to defeat Ultimecia. Nothing more."

"Nothing?"

"I didn't have you then."

Zell was quiet for some time. "What did Kadowaki say to you?"

Squall relayed the information word for word.

"Someone like you isn't supposed to die from the inside Squall." Zell stamped his foot in rage. "It's not fair...., it's not fair....." His voice drifted off as the tears began to roll down his face. "It's not......."

Squall stepped forward and enveloped the blonde in a tight embrace. "I know. But there's nothing more to be done about it."

"I don't know what to say..."

"Neither do I Zell. But we have the best medical resources in SeeD, I'm sure if there is a cure, it'll be found."

"So that's it then? Live and let die if there is no cure to be found?"

"We have no choice in the matter."



Authors notes.

Just to recap. Ayden is around the equivalent of three years old, maybe a little younger. And Squall is dying. The virus is behaving as an immuno-destroyer. Squall will eventually die, but not for a while (in the story. It'll probably be around 3 to 5 chapters away.) And I'm struggling to write/type each bloody word.