Disclaimer. Squaresoft owns all these guys and places. I don't mean to infringe you guys so........ just chill, eh???


You have no idea how friggin hard it is to write each word of these last few chapters, so forgive me if my style slips only I'm dreading finishing this story...



The Longest Road.


"Like water be gentle and strong. Be gentle enough to follow the natural paths of the earth and strong enough to rise up and reshape the world."
Brenda Patterson.



Chapter twenty seven; Dismay and Discovery.


So tired.....

So much pain.....

His whole body ached. His left arm itched and the fingers of his left hand tingled with pins and needles. He couldn't flex his arm either. His chest was on fire.

He tried to open his eyes finding the right one too sore and swollen to respond so he gave up and lay there in the darkness behind his eyelids for a while longer. Outside, he heard two voices begin to speak.

The male voice conjured up a memory of the previous summer, of a holiday. Of a white gold beach that stretched as far as the eye could see, and the roar of the blue ocean as it crashed onto the beach.

And of making love in the surf on the hottest of days.

"How he made it to you up in that tower I will never know."

"I do, with him it's probably determination and adrenaline."

The female voice spoke in hushed tones and said "I ran another blood test. I'm afraid it's bad news.... It's active."

"Oh god no." The man breathed.

A few minutes later the curtain was opened with a rasp and someone entered.

"Squall? I don't know if you can hear me but I thought if I talked to you it might speed things up a little, that you might wake up sooner."

With a concentrated effort Squall managed to open his good eye and turned his head to look at Zell. "Too late." He croaked, his voice cracking with the stress of a dry throat.

"Oh!" Zell exclaimed and took Squall's right hand into his grasp.

"How.... many did we.... lose?"

"Two SeeDs were lost in the battle and another three, not including you, are injured." Zell's voice was barely above a whisper. "You were lucky Squall. You could so easily be dead by now."

"Why? What's the damage?" He asked wincing as a shooting pain ran down his spine.

"You've been out cold for thirty six hours or so... Several of your ribs are broken and you have a dislocated shoulder, couple of torn muscles, and a hairline fracture on your upper arm, that's why it's in a cast. And the doc had to put an adamantine collar around one of your vertebrae. On top of that you're covered from head to toe in bruises, you can actually even see the shape of the baseball bat on your back. You're pretty fucked up Squall. Even the Curaga's are taking their time with this one."

"It's not the worst yet." Squall shrugged with his good arm

"Squall, I want you to do something for me..... Stop going on the SeeD missions? Please?"

Squall stared at him in shock. "What?"

"I want you to stop going on the SeeD missions..., you're going to get seriously hurt, and I mean worse than this."

Squall's brow furrowed with his surprise. "Hurt? Zell, I'm dying for fucks sake, you can't get much more hurt."

Zell shrank away. "You don't have to remind me of that." He assured Squall.

The brunette squeezed his lovers hand. "Sorry, but.... I have been working towards the goal of being a SeeD my whole life and now I'm here I don't want to give up quite yet. SeeD is what I am, and a part of who I am. To give it all up now would be like loosing a part of my soul, and I'm already loosing so many other things I don't need to loose that as well. In a few more weeks, I'll wind them down but it's going to ki... it's going to hurt me to do even that."

"You promise you'll slow down?"

"I promise. I want to stop before I become a liability, a danger even, to the rest of you. I'll take it easy..."

"Okay then." Zell's grin returned, if a little more subdued than usual.




(A few days later Squall was released from Dr Kadowaki's infirmary and put into Zell's capable hands.)


The silence was absolute. He wondered if it was some sort of crime to break such a silence in this room.

The moon cast a yellow glow from it's waxy radiance, leaving strange shadows to hide monsters creeping across the carpeted floor. He dashed across the room to the bedside, managing to out run his imagination. He reached up to the figure asleep on the bed.

"Dad?" He shook the man gently. "Dad?"

Squall opened his eyes and yawned. "Ayden?" He whispered as he recognised the boy hiding his face behind a stuffed moomba. "What's wrong?"


"I had a bad dweam. A really bad dweam. Squeffi and I are too scared to sleep."

Squall considered this for a moment, he had no experiences from his own childhood to call upon so he just followed his instincts. He moved over to make a space. "Bad dreams aren't allowed to enter Ayden's head when he's in here." He said to no one in particular to reassure his son. "Come on, climb in."

"Squeffi too?"

"Squeffi too." Ayden climbed in beside his father and pulled the covers up to his chin, the boy making sure his stuffed companion's head was above the covers. The moomba toy had been named after both Selphie and Quistis who had given it him as a reward for passing the Garden's entrance year exams six months early. He was the image of his dad in lessons.

In a few moments the boy was asleep again, yet Squall could find no solace. He lay there between the love of his life and the light of his life, contented but still deeply worried about what the future held.



Somewhere shortly after dawn, Squall finally returned to his slumber. An hour or two later Zell stretched and sat up, smiled and dressed. Ayden stood also and followed Zell.

"You're obsessed with that toy aren't you kiddo?" He looked down.

"Yeah!"

Zell crouched in front of him and said, remember how I told you me and your dad were brought up in an orphanage with lots of other kids?"

"I remember." He nodded proudly.

"Well, the lady who raised us all didn't have very much money, so me and your dad 'n the others never had many toys, not even a stuffed animal."

Ayden stared at the moomba in his hands then walked back to Squall's bedside. He tucked the toy under his fathers chin. "You look after it for me dad." He said before returning to his own room to prepare for that day's lessons.





The following evening Zell entered the cafeteria during it's busiest hour. The hustle and bustle did not dim even for one of the student's favourite instructors. He crossed the room and requested his preferred dish.

The doors opened again and a silence so thick it could have been cut by a gunblade descended upon the room. Squall stood in the doorway, a little unsure of himself in the face of this oppressing quiet. Somewhere in the back of his mind he wondered what was the matter, after all they'd seen him injured before so it couldn't have been that.

'Oh shit.' He thought. 'They fucking know!'

He strode across the room, to join Selphie, Quistis and Irvine, with his head held high and his shoulders back. Upon reaching his seat, he spun on his heel and said in his sternest tone; "You can go back to eating now."

"Is it true Squall?" Selphie asked looking rather pale.

He looked at his friends faces regretting their finding out in this manner. "What?"

"You're going to die?" Irvine asked.

"Yes."

"And you didn't fucking TELL US?" Selphie raised her voice.

"Calm down Selphie, it's not good for you to get angry."

"I'm not angry Squall, I'm fucking fuming. You would not believe how close I am to smacking you with my nunchuka. Didn't you trust us? Quisty knew," Selphie's features were so dark with anger and so far from her usual expression it scared the others." And yet you couldn't tell me. Thank you Squall, for trusting me so much." She stood and left the room.

Quistis stood to follow her and said; "don't worry, I'll explain everything."

"Thanks." Squall put his head in his hands feeling every eye in the room upon them. "Well, aren't you going to chew me out too Irvine?"

"Nope, Selphie's mad enough to do that for both of us so I ain't gettin' in her way, it's more than my life's worth."

The commander of Balamb garden felt like a sample under a microscope being so closely scrutinized by everyone.

"This is why I didn't want to tell anyone..." he whispered.



Author notes. Okay, forgive me, major writers block on this chapter. I did my best.