Disclaimer. Squaresoft owns all these guys and places. I don't mean to infringe you guys so........ just chill, eh???

You have no idea how friggin hard it is to write each word of these last few chapters, so forgive me if my style slips only I'm dreading finishing this story...



The Longest Road.




Final Chapter: Epilogues and Explanations.



Epilogue.





Sixteen years later.



His slate grey eyes were clouded in thought as he passed through the woods. Brushing a stray strand of hair out of his eyes, he pulled the collar of his leather jacket closer to his neck and hugged the book closer to his chest.

As he rounded a very large oak, he found what he had been looking for.

The dark grey of the marble of the statue was a perfect match for the colour of his eyes. It depicted a man, around the age of eighteen, maybe a little younger with wild hair and a piercing stare. His lips were slightly parted as though about to speak. He stood with a gunblade in his hands ready to attack. There was a scar running down from his forehead into his right hand cheek.

On the base was a small silver plaque with the words;


"Age shall not weary him, nor the years condemn.

Squall Leonhart, a true hero and a lion amongst men.

Squall Leonhart, died Aged 20."


The visitor swallowed loudly and spoke. "Hi. How you doing? God, I must sound like a right idiot and I know how much you hated that. Right dad?… I came here because I dreamt about you last night but I couldn't make out what you were saying. I haven't been for years..... Your book, it's in it's eighth printing, 'Lionheart, the story of the longest road'… I picked the title myself.…, I hope you like it."


He closed his eyes and summoned up his sorcerer powers.

"I hope you can hear me dad. You seemed to be worried but I couldn't.... I'm sorry. I feel as though I'd forgotten you....... I wish you were still here. But when I sleep tonight, I'll use my powers to make it easier for you....

"I don't know if you know this about me but I'll tell you anyway... just incase. I think my visual age and my physical age has levelled off now, I am 18 and I look 18. I'm a rank A SeeD and I'm in love with a wonderful girl. And we all miss you very much dad. Do me a favour and look in on Zell's dreams too? He's lost without you. Okay? I'll have to go, I have a mission in the morning, it's pretty important so...." He turned and whispered; "Love you."




As the man disappeared from view, a pair of eyes watched him. Two pairs actually. From the statue's side, Squall Leonhart turned to Raine and stated. "I like the way he turned out."

"Me too Squall. Me too."


If ya wanna see who I thanked, you have to read the explanations.

EXPLANATIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



I'm gonna tell you a little story. Late one Saturday night, a girl arrives home from work feeling very depressed and very tired. She sits down at her word processor and opens a new file. After several minutes staring at a blank screen, she gets up and gets a can of stout. She continues staring at the screen and decides to get a bottle of cider. A few (*hic!*) more and she gives up on the idea of writing a poem and decides she wants to write a piece of trashy sex (she must be p****d!). But, she's reading a previous fanfic (The Hardest Words) that she's written at this time and wonders if she should do a continuation.

"Heh heh heh." She laughs and begins to type.

Yeah. This is how it started. I'm sorry if I disappoint you my dearest readers who have actually managed to stay with my roaming plotline, you who were hoping that there was some ulterior motive for all these words that I have written over the last several months. In fact I was just going to end it after a few sexy scenes but I thought: "What if Rinoa was hiding something when she split up with Squall? What if that was a baby? What if something happened to the kid? What if this? What if that?"

And before I knew it, I'd written thirty-one chapters and an epilogue. *Heavy sigh.* So this is a summary explaining why I did some of the things I did.


Chapter One. In Times Of Peace.

The first part was entirely written to show how much that the two of them were in love. I tell you something, after I'd written Squall's death chapter, and I went back to re-read it, I was almost crying at reading that amongst other things. I meant to have something happen to Zell in the little play-fight scene, maybe hitting a tree to explain him being left in a crumpled heap. But when I was editing, I guess I may have deleted the wrong bit. Like I said at the time, this was a slow start.


Chapter Two. Relaxation.

This was in fact the chapter I wrote whilst I was drunk. Or at least the oral sex was. When I started writing this story I had just bought several new albums, had several given to me or loaned to me and I rediscovered my love some of the older CDs in my collection and I happened to be listening to that gorgeous welsh bloke Kelly Jones. I used the idea of a 'secret den' to reaffirm the innocence that Squall and Zell once had before Garden tainted them.


Chapter Three. Summertime.

A pretty nice chapter, and quite pleasing to both write and read! The worst part of writing it was what happened to Selphie. The part I enjoyed most was when Squall and Zell were being so protective of Selphie. And another little bit of sex to spice it up.


Chapter Four. Discovery And Loss.

Re-reading this chapter, really made me wince. I was exhausted while writing and I never meant to make Rinoa out to be such a baddie just at that point in the story line. The tension in the air between the two was amazingly high and I think this is because my best mate was driving me mad. I sat back as Squall left the office and thought: 'how could he react? How would he react to something like that. I was very please with the result.


Chapter Five. Beginnings.

Squall and Zell's relationship was the main theme of this chapter alongside the new mission. I tried to contrast the open honesty of the guy's relationship to the aggressive nature of Squall and Rinoa's broken down relationship of the previous chapter. I made Zell the stronger of the two here because Squall's whole world has been rocked to it's core and that's enough to shake anyone's convictions.


Chapter Six. Discovering The Enemy.

First of all the changes to Squall and Zell's appearance. I thought: Squall and Zell, very sexy. How can I make them sexier? The answer was leather and bikes. *drools helplessly!* And I meant to say pillion rather than tandem! Sorry whoever pointed that out to me in that email. I wanted to make Quisty appreciated as she's very shy in this story and I just had to insert something to lighten the mood it was getting way too serious. 2 things. Seifer was the evil one yet again... just seemed right at the time and I think Squall keeps the picture because it reminds him of what it was like without a broken heart, before he and Seifer fell out.


Chapter Seven. Meeting Again.

I started with the Seifer joke to lighten the mood. Oh god, wasn't Rinoa being a vicious little bitch? I don't know why I decided to make her still love him, I think it was because when you see someone who you loved that much after you've broken up, you have to hope that there's still something there. Squall resented her a bit and wow wasn't he protective of Zell? Awwww. The ending was a spur of the moment thing and I never thought it would go down well but you all accepted it so readily. Thanks you guys!


Chapter Eight. Rescue.

I really was depressed at the time I was writing this chapter. I was so down, I was considering ways out. (I get that bad from time to time.) My salvation at times like these is the odd bottle of cider or anything stronger and trying to write. (You should see some of the poems I wrote that week!) Naki Keza is a character dedicated to a person who I see as a very good friend, Nakiko. And I guess I'm Kyra, 'cuz I love the name Raven and the two are good friends. I know it's almost a crime to do a self insert but she doesn't look like me and she's just what I'd like to be like. The baby's scar was explained in a later chapter.


Chapter Nine. Revelations And Receivers.

Still a bit depressed on this one I'm afraid. I tried to make Squall and Ayden's relationship all new and shiny and unsure of what to do but it came out totally wrong. Oh well, it was quite sweet anyway. Not much else to say 'cept that I'm sorry for making Selphie seem like such a ditz but it was just so right at the time.


Chapter ten: Reuniting.

The exhaustion Squall was experiencing was a sign of things to come, as were the dreams. If you read the inscription, it was the toast Quisty suggested to Zell in the training centre in chapter 31. How many of you noticed that? Rinoa and Squall were back to being friends again and I think it was for Ayden's sake. Oh and the 'I-look-as-though-I-just-got-out-of-bed-but-but-it-took-me-ages-to-get-it-like-this' was a little joke we had at school.


Chapter eleven: Out Of Reach.

Yes, this is one of those chapters I hated writing. I didn't want to write it but I wanted to at the same time if you know what I mean. It was all character development and I wanted to do something a couple of chapters on to strengthen the Squall and Zell relationship. And the song was in my head and I loved so I thought why the hell not?


Chapter Twelve: War.

I love the start of this chapter. I thought it was one of the best pieces of writing I have ever done. I always wanted to get someone to draw the SeeDs with the Gfs above them as I didn't have the talent and I'd have like to have seen it. And Naki and Kyra seriously kicked ass in this chapter. I blinded Squall to provide an opening for the blood test and for a dramatic reunion. Rinoa showed she wasn't innocent anymore and again I left it with a dramatic end.


Chapter thirteen; Wounded Lions and Broken Hearts.

Another bit of writing that I loved to do. The first bit of this chapter just made me want to hug Squall. (Sick, ain't I?) And it's really hard to read now after I've written the ending. Oh, and for someone who sent me an email saying good luck, I got one of the jobs and I am now a technical engineer apprentice and I'm also working weekends at a supermarket to make some extra money so I can change my car (already, I've only had it 13 months, me want Rover)!!!


Chapter fourteen; Home

Smutty sex scene that I couldn't stop laughing at when I wrote it. I wish I'd done better but there's always next time right?


Chapter fifteen; The fallen will return home....

The title meant Rinoa (a fallen angel) returning to heaven. Obscure but sweet. Another sign of the virus came through in his exhaustion. I expected major flaminess but it never happened. Ah well. For Rinny the powers were more of a blessing than a curse cuz she found Squall so I had her give them to the one she loved most; Ayden.


Chapter sixteen; Lion Hearts reunited.

I liked the reactions I had Rinoa's friends have, I tried to keep it simple like emotions should be and I didn't know what to put for Squall so I just typed something without thinking. And it was an inspiration to make Fuu and Raj the head mistress and head SeeD respectively.


Chapter seventeen; healed wounds.

He he he. Loved the first bit of this chapter… I was just typing and in the end I was very happy with the results. I love the line ""She's been wearing them since she got back together with Irvine, we're all waiting for him to wear her dress.... YOU CAN SEE!!!!!!" " otherwise, a cute but uneventful chapter.



Chapter eighteen; Wing hearts at peace.

I wasn't pleased with this chapter at all… The only bit I really liked was the bit with Ayden in the bedroom in the night. I felt awful at the time of writing and I wanted to get it out of the way…


Chapter nineteen; Birthdays and Beaches.

This chapter was so damned sweet it was sickening. I loved it all. More relationship development between Squall and Zell as well as Squall and Ayden. The story Zell tells was a moment of inspiration… I know it was daft but I enjoyed it. Swwwwweeeeeet!


Chapter twenty; News.

Oh god, another chapter and still ill… I hated myself for writing this and I still did it….. I don't regret it, or at least, I think I don't but I just had to do it! My favourite part was the following: "all he could see in his mind was the image of Zell sitting on their bed with Ayden that morning almost crying just because Ayden had called him "Unkle Zell.""


Chapter twenty one; Truths.

Another chapter I hated but just had to write….. I don't want to say too much about his (mainly cuz it makes me cry to re-read it) so I'll just reiterate what Zelly baby said. "You're one of those guys who's supposed ta live forever!"


Chapter twenty two; Memories and Missions.

"Completely breath-takingly, awe-inspiringly stunning." That's what I thought of this chapter, only kidding but I do think it's some of the best work I've done in a long time, at least until I got to chapter 29….


Chapter twenty three; Devil's Angel and Lions.

I think the fight scene in this is the best one I have ever done, if only for the lines, "And Seifer was treated to the ice cold "you asked for it" stare from Squall's stormy grey eyes." And of course, "Stop talking to yourself Leonhart. It's not fitting for a man such as you to loose their marbles. What hope do the rest of us have?" ^_\^ I loved writing this chapter!!!!


Chapter twenty four; Questions in the Darkness.

Another chapter that I really enjoyed writing. I just sat down and typed and I bloody well loved the result.

Chapter twenty five; Family.

I know I sound sadistic but I loved writing this chapter… It was one of the easiest. I know Laguna seems like an easy going guy but, I don't know…. I just wanted to input something with a bit of controversy.


Chapter twenty six; Justice.

Yet another one that I enjoyed writing. It would have been a stand alone if I hadn't used it here… oh well….


Chapter twenty seven; Dismay and Discovery.

Writers block alert!!! I thought this chapter was sooooo crap in comparison to some of the others…. Oh well…


Chapter twenty eight; Endearing Events.

A few cute events just to make the following chapter seem that much more tragic… Nothin' else to say.


Chapter twenty nine; Eternity.

Here it is. My best ever piece of writing…. And my most emotionally scarring one too. I love the imagery and words and everything but I really can't read it without a box of tissues at the ready. Sad ain't I?
The songs I used are some of my favourites and just seemed so appropriate. (Spookily, as I was writing it, my fave radio station I heard the drugs don't work, and right now, they're playing Eternity.)

I think this will be a hard chapter to beat….


Chapter thirty; Farewell.

Angst, and such a shame, just like the previous chapter.


Chapter thirty one; Wills and parting ways.

Again: I am so sorry it's taken this long to complete and I am sorry for all I've done to Squall and Zell. A simple ending and an open one as well.


Final Chapter: Epilogues and Explanations.

I think I am going to write a sequel to explain this, but It'll take me a week to finish my college work so keep checking back! Anyway, that was Ayden…..

You know what… I think I'm going to start it tonight… well, I've got till chrimbo for the project so I might as well, right? ^_\^


WHY DID I KILL SQUALL LEONHART?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

1. I wanted to write a tragedy.
2. I didn't think Squall would be able to survive it the other way round.
3. Nearly all my male heroes are either dead, fictional or have come so close to death you can barely tell the difference. So I guess Squall was the only one left to go….
Who am I kidding? I hate myself for killing him off but I thought I'd just be doing it to finish the story line….. fat chance of that happening I love writing them too much to actually stop like that….. So all's left to say is look out for my new fic and my thank you's!.


Thanks go to:

Nakiko. Or Naki Keza as she has come to be known in my fics…
Mum. For crying at chapter 29.
Dad. For putting up with me when he takes me to work in the morning and I'm half asleep cuz I been up all night writing.
Pixie518, for her inspiration.
Demon's gate. For making me laugh with the fics.
Flowergirl862000, for even more inspiration.
Astrea, for not flaming me about Rinoa's death.
Ashbear, for choosing my yaoi fanfic to be the first Yaoi she read.
Iksander, for being so nice.
Every other person who has reviewed.

Also, loadsa thanks to my mates, del and cab, who have put up with not seeing me for two weeks cuz I've been almost permanently typing. You guys are great..

AND ONE LAST BIG THANKYOU TO WHOEVER YOU ARE THAT IS READING THIS RIGHT NOW. Now please, before you leave….. review….


With my fondest love……………………………………………………………………………………………………………… whatever!!! ^_\^

The darksquall

(nicola.wilcox@talk21.com)
(darksquall@ffdreamer.fsnet.co.uk)