Gwyneth Wahlberg exclaims, "Here as your MC tonight, is our most excellent friend, Keanu!"
Keanu Witherspoon plays solo on his air guitar.
Keanu Witherspoon exclaims, "Excellent!"
Keanu Witherspoon bows.

You see Keanu Witherspoon.
He appears to be in his late twenties.
He stands 6 feet and 4 inches tall and has an average build.  He has tan skin, short straight black hair, and green eyes.  He is clean shaven.

Keanu Witherspoon is wearing a pair of blue high-top sneakers, a light blue baseball cap embroidered with the initials "KW", a smiley-face button, a white tank-top printed with the words "Party on Dudes!" in midnight blue, a pair of grey knee-length shorts embroidered with the words "Wyld Stallion", a brown leather saddlebag with the words "Got Speed?", a PBR communicator, and a pair of stylish sunglasses with the monogram of KW on them.
 

Keanu Witherspoon says, "Here we go the most excellent of excellency Altdorf Gosslershausen"
Keanu Witherspoon gives a big thumbs up to Altdorf Gosslershausen!

You see Altdorf Gosslershausen.
He appears to be in his mid-thirties.
He stands 5 feet tall and has a muscular build.  He has pale skin, close-cut thinning sandy brown hair, and hazel eyes.  He sports a closely-trimmed beard and a mole on his face.

Altdorf Gosslershausen is wearing a red brown leaf pattern henna tattoo on his right shoulderblade, a neon pink t-shirt with cutoff sleeves and a silkscreened unicorn picture, a white silk top hat, a cool neon green suit, a turquoise stud earring, a PBR communicator, and some polished white loafers.

Altdorf Gosslershausen says, "I sing with Bartenstein."
Bartenstein Gosslershausen beams happily.

You see Bartenstein Gosslershausen.
He appears to be in his early thirties.
He stands 5 feet tall and has a husky build.  He has rosy skin, ultra-short thinning peppered hair, and hazel eyes.  He is clean shaven.

Bartenstein Gosslershausen is wearing a white silk top hat, a PBR communicator, some polished white loafers, a neon pink t-shirt with cutoff sleeves and a silkscreened unicorn picture, a turquoise stud earring, and a cool neon orange suit.

Altdorf Gosslershausen nods to Bartenstein Gosslershausen.
Bartenstein Gosslershausen clears his throat loudly.
Keanu Witherspoon gives a big thumbs up to Bartenstein Gosslershausen!
Bartenstein Gosslershausen exclaims, "Guttentag, I am Bartenstein, and this is my brother Altdorf!"
Altdorf Gosslershausen and Bartenstein hold up all the fingers on their hands and say, "And we are ten time international fleeping champions of the world."
Keanu Witherspoon exclaims, "And Bartenstein!"
Bartenstein Gosslershausen says, "We are here to fleep for the man himself, while we perform our Phil Megamix! Perhaps we too can receive the ladies, fame, and streep steaks that Phil himself indulged in a mere two decades ago."
Altdorf Gosslershausen performs a stunning triple fleep, landing next to Phil Gaser and leaning on him, exclaiming, "Kick it off, brother, ja!"
Horribly off-key, Bartenstein Gosslershausen sings:

    "There's this girl that's been on my mind, ja
     All the time, Sussudio oh oh
     Now she don't even know my name
     But I think she likes me just the same
     Sussudio ja ja"

Bartenstein Gosslershausen begins to leap into a mind-blowing acrobatic stunt, but suddenly halts and says, "Ja, me and Phil have the same problem, no lady seem to ever remember my name either, but perhaps this is because of its sheer length."
Bartenstein Gosslershausen says, "But my name isn't the only thing that's long, babies."
Bartenstein Gosslershausen winks.
Horribly off-key, Bartenstein Gosslershausen sings:

    "Oh if she called me I'd be there
     I'd come running anywhere
     She's all I need, all my life
     I feel so good if I just say the word
     Sussudio, just say the word
     Oh Sussudio"

Bartenstein Gosslershausen fleeps back onto his hands and walks offstage on them, making room for his brother.
Altdorf Gosslershausen sashays to center stage and grips the microphone, giving it a swift fleep between his masculine hands.
Horribly off-key, Altdorf Gosslershausen sings:

    "Please give me one more night, give me one more night
     One more night cause I can't wait forever
     Give me just one more night, ja just one more night
     Ja one more night cause I can't wait forever "

Altdorf Gosslershausen sways to the romantic mellow beat, while tipping his top hat to reveal his thinning Phil-like hair.
Horribly off-key, Altdorf Gosslershausen sings:

    "I've been sitting here so long
     Wasting time, just staring at the phone
     And I was wondering should I call you
     Then I thought maybe you're not alone "

Altdorf Gosslershausen places his hand between his ear and face, like a telephone and winks to all the fine ladies, while mouthing "Call me, ja."  He sexily shuffles to the side of the stage.
Bartenstein Gosslershausen who is still on his hands, walks back to the front of the audience on them, before fleeping back to his feet with a smug smile.  He removes the microphone from its stand and twirls it around his fingers confidently.
Horribly off-key, Bartenstein Gosslershausen sings:

    "Now Billy, Billy don't you lose my number
     Cause you're not anywhere
     That I can find you, nein
     Now Billy, Billy don't you lose my number
     Cause you're not anywhere that I can find you, oh"

Bartenstein Gosslershausen pulls out a hot pink handkerchief embroidered with tiny bratwursts from his suit pocket, wiping the beads of sweat from his forehead before tossing it into the audience.  He takes a deep breath and then bellows into the microphone.
Horribly off-key, Bartenstein Gosslershausen sings:

    "Don't give up
     Keep running, keep hiding
     Don't give up
     Billy, if you know you're right
     Don't give up
     You know that I am on your side
     Don't give up
     Oh Billy, you better, you better, you better run for your life, JA!"

Bartenstein Gosslershausen fakes running manically in place before jogging offstage in slow motion, his neon orange suit glinting in the spotlight, returning the microphone to its place and cueing his brother for the next song.
Altdorf Gosslershausen shuffles onto the stage towards the microphone, hoisting his pant legs up to reveal his sockless loafer-clad feet, while doing a smooth dance.
Horribly off-key, Altdorf Gosslershausen sings:

    "Ja think twice, it's another day for
     You and me in paradise
     Ja think twice, it's just another day for you,
     You and me in paradise "

Altdorf Gosslershausen winks towards Gwyneth while arching his studly body into a back handspring.  The unicorn decal on his shirt stretches and tears apart as his muscles expand.  He follows through with the handspring, making a scuffing sound with his loafers as he lands and leans into the microphone.
Horribly off-key, Altdorf Gosslershausen sings:

    "She calls out to the man on the street
     He can see she's been crying
     She's got blisters on the soles of her feet
     Can't walk but she's trying "

Altdorf Gosslershausen fleeps across to the back of the stage and quickly turns around, drops to his knees and slides towards the microphone.  He dramatically dips the mic stand and sings the last lyric with pizazz.
Horribly off-key, Altdorf Gosslershausen sings:

    "Ja think twice... "

Bartenstein Gosslershausen and Altdorf clasp hands and fleep backwards three times and then to the front for three, finishing with a deep bow.
Keanu Witherspoon says, "Excellent, let's give Altdorf and Bartenstein a most excellent round of applause!"
Gwyneth Wahlberg exclaims, "I can't believe we got to see Bartenstein's tiny bratwurst!  Let's give it up for the German guys!"
 

Keanu Witherspoon says, "Gve it up for the Queen of pop Mackenzie Taylor! "

You see The Notable Mackenzie Taylor, the Enchantress.
She appears to be in her mid-twenties.
She stands 5 feet and 6 inches tall and has a trim build.  She has fair skin, tousled waist-length red hair, and blue-green eyes.
Mackenzie seems to be in a frustrated mood.

Mackenzie Taylor is wearing some pink tourmaline earrings, a PBR communicator, a daisy tattoo, a pair of pink pajamas, a pair of fuzzy pink slippers, and a rhinestone martini glass tattoo artfully arranged on her thigh.

Mackenzie Taylor says, "Hey babe, come sing that song we like from the tv show"
Mackenzie Taylor pulls Snake Silvertongue to his feet.

You see Street Brawler Snake Silvertongue.
He appears to be in his early forties.
He stands 7 feet tall and has a muscular build.  He has tan skin, nicely styled shoulder-length black hair, and brown eyes.  He is clean shaven.
Snake seems to be in a confused mood.

Snake Silvertongue is wearing a trendy watch, a gold tailored fede ring, a solar-powered PBR communicator, a shining sterling silver chain bearing an intricate snake charm with gleaming ruby eyes, a serpent tattoo, and a pair of black pin-striped satin pajamas.

Mackenzie Taylor asks, "Okay?"
Mackenzie Taylor nods to Snake Silvertongue.
Snake Silvertongue asks, "Me?!?"
Snake Silvertongue seems nervous.
Keanu Witherspoon exclaims, "And the king of soul Snake Silvertongue!"
Mackenzie Taylor grins at Snake Silvertongue.
Mackenzie Taylor snickers.
Mackenzie Taylor seems oblivious to the music which has started playing as she gazes adoringly at Snake Silvertongue.   Suddenly realizing that you're all watching her, she grins and blushes slightly.
Mackenzie Taylor slings an arm around Snake and sings, "This is the man that I plan to entangle, isn't he fine?"
Mackenzie Taylor croons, "My claim to fame was to maim and to mangle...vengeance was m-i-i-i-ne.
Mackenzie Taylor shrugs with a smile.
Slightly off-key, Mackenzie Taylor sings:

    ""But I'm out of the 'biz'
     The name I made, I'll trade for his
     The only trouble is...""

Mackenzie Taylor pauses and fidgets awkwardly, glancing over at Snake.

Slightly off-key, Mackenzie Taylor sings:

    ""I'll....never tell.....""

Snake Silvertongue gulps.
Horribly off-key, Snake Silvertongue sings:

    "She is the one, she's such wonderful fun
     Such passion and grace
     Warm in the night when I'm right in her tight...
     Embrace! Tight embrace!"

Horribly off-key, Snake Silvertongue sings:

    "I'll never let her go
     The love we've known can only grow
     There's just one thing that... "

Snake Silvertongue shakes his head.
Snake Silvertongue says, "No."
Horribly off-key, Snake Silvertongue sings:

    "I'll never tell..."

Mackenzie Taylor and Snake Silvertongue look away from each other and sing in uncomfortable harmony, "'Cause there's nothing to tell..."
Mackenzie Taylor sings in a loud whisper, "He snores!"
Snake Silvertongue says confidingly, "She wheezes."
Mackenzie Taylor puts her hands on her hips and sings, "Say "wedding" and he freezes!"
Snake Silvertongue shrugs.
Horribly off-key, Snake Silvertongue sings:

    "She eats these skeezy cheeses that I can't describe."

Mackenzie Taylor folds her arms impatiently and sings, "I talk, he breezes...!"
Snake Silvertongue flails his arms about.
Horribly off-key, Snake Silvertongue sings:

    "She doesn't know what pleases!"

Mackenzie Taylor glares in Snake's direction and sings, "He's prob'ly got diseases from his native tribe!"
Mackenzie Taylor sings in melodic harmony with Snake Silvertongue, "The vi-i-i-be...gets kind of scary..."
Snake Silvertongue frowns.
Horribly off-key, Snake Silvertongue sings:

    "Like she thinks I'm ordinary."

Mackenzie Taylor wrinkles her brow worriedly and sings, "Like it's all just temporary!"
Snake Silvertongue says in a loud whisper, "Like her singing's kinda scary!"
Mackenzie Taylor and Snake grin at one another and sing in a snappy duet, "But it's all very well!   'Cause God knows I'll never tell!"
Slightly off-key, Mackenzie Taylor sings:

    "When things get rough
     He just hides behind martinis
     Now, look he's getting mean-y
     Cause he knows that I know..."

Snake Silvertongue turns to look at Mackenzie Taylor and furrows his brow.
Snake Silvertongue drains his Vodka Martini!
Horribly off-key, Snake Silvertongue sings:

    "She clings
     She's needy
     She's also really greedy
     She nev---"

Mackenzie Taylor interrupts furiously, "His eyes are beady!"
Snake Silvertongue yells, "This is my verse! Hello?!?!"
Mackenzie Taylor grins at Snake Silvertongue and the pair sing slowly together, "You kn-o-o-o-w...."
Snake Silvertongue gently caresses Mackenzie Taylor's cheek.
Horribly off-key, Snake Silvertongue sings:

    "You're quite the charmer!"

Mackenzie Taylor cuddles up closely to Snake Silvertongue while singing, "My knight in armor...."
Snake Silvertongue just hugged Mackenzie Taylor.

Horribly off-key, Snake Silvertongue sings:

    "You're the cutest on the island
     With your eyes as bright as diamonds
     And your firm, yet supple--"

Snake Silvertongue coughs.
Horribly off-key, Snake Silvertongue sings:

    "Tight embrace!"

Mackenzie Taylor sighs deeply gazing in utter adoration at Snake and sings, "He's swell...."
Snake Silvertongue winks at Mackenzie Taylor.
Horribly off-key, Snake Silvertongue sings:

    "You're sweller..."

Slightly off-key, Mackenzie Taylor sings:

    "He'll always be my feller..."

Horribly off-key, Snake Silvertongue sings:

    "That's why I'll never tell her
     That I'm petrified!"

Slightly off-key, Mackenzie Taylor sings:

    "I've read this tale
     There's wedding then betrayal
     I know there'll come the day I'll
     Want to run and hide!"

Mackenzie Taylor and Snake move towards one another singing, "I've lied...I've said it's easy..."
Snake Silvertongue and Mackenzie Taylor move towards one another singing, "I've tried, but there's these fears I can't quell!"
Horribly off-key, Snake Silvertongue sings:

    "Is she looking for a pot of gold?"

Slightly off-key, Mackenzie Taylor sings:

    "Will he love me when I've gotten old?"

Horribly off-key, Snake Silvertongue sings:

    "Will our lives become too stressful?
     She can really be a handful!"

Slightly off-key, Mackenzie Taylor sings:

    "Will I get so tired of waiting that I go back to 'island-dating'?"

Snake Silvertongue turns to look at Mackenzie Taylor and furrows his brow.
Horribly off-key, Snake Silvertongue sings:

    "Am I crazy?"

Slightly off-key, Mackenzie Taylor sings:

    "Am I dreamin'?"

Snake Silvertongue cowers away from Mackenzie Taylor!

Horribly off-key, Snake Silvertongue sings:

    "Am I marrying a demon?"

Mackenzie Taylor and Snake sing together, "We can really raise the beam in making marriage a hell!"
Mackenzie Taylor and Snake sing, "So, thank God, I'll never tell!  I swear, that I'll never tell"
Horribly off-key, Snake Silvertongue sings:

    "My lips are sealed."

Mackenzie Taylor exclaims, "I take the Fifth!"
Horribly off-key, Snake Silvertongue sings:

    "Nothing to see!
     Move it along!"

Mackenzie Taylor sings with Snake, "I'll never....Tell!"
Mackenzie Taylor giggles.
Mackenzie Taylor wrinkles her nose.
Snake Silvertongue nods to Mackenzie Taylor.
Snake Silvertongue glances around.
Mackenzie Taylor curtsies.
Snake Silvertongue says, "Well, Babe. I don't think it's gonna be that break away pop hit we were hoping for."
Mackenzie Taylor laughs!
Keanu Witherspoon says, "Let's hear it for Mackenzie and Snake in concert thru the end of the month! "
 

Keanu Witherspoon exclaims, "The gold that always shines Amanda Jackson!"
Amanda Jackson says, "Ok, well I wasn't expecting to be here tonight, but I'm glad I am! Anyway, since I was underprepared I thought I'd perform an old classic act of mine I did a few years ago. Those who have seen the video might enjoy it better, but I'm sure you all know the song..."
Amanda Jackson ducks behind the bar and emerges in a black miniskirt, black leather ankle boots,  a cropped black and lime green top and a gold interlocked circle belt before running behind stage.
Amanda Jackson stumbles out onto the stage panting as music begins in the background.
Amanda wipes the sweat from her brow.
Amanda Jackson sings:

    "I made it through the wilderness
     Somehow I made it through
     Didn't know how lost I was..
     Until I found youuu!"

Amanda Jackson pretends she is riding on a gondola in Italy and ducks as if she were passing under a bridge.
Amanda Jackson sings:

    "I was beat..
     Incomplete
     I'd been had.. I was sad and bluue!
     But you made me feel
     Yeah, you maade me feel
     So shiny and new!"

Amanda Jackson sings:

    "Like a virgin!
     Touched for the very first tiime
     Like a viiirgin
     When your heart beats, next to mine!"

Amanda Jackson slinks around on stage, dragging a toy lion on a leash behind her.
Amanda Jackson sings:

    "Gonna give you all my love, boy
     My fear is fading faast
     Been saving it all for you
     'Cause only love can last"

Amanda Jackson rolls around with the lion happily.
Amanda Jackson sings:

    "You're so fine..
     And you're mine!
     Make me strong, yeah make me bold
     Oh your love thawed out
     Yeah your love thawed out what was scared and cold."

Amanda Jackson sings:

    "Liike a virgin! hey!
     Touched for the very first time!
     Like a viiirgin
     With your heartbeat..
     Next to mine!"

Amanda Jackson throws on a frilly circa 1983 negligee-nightgown and sways to the beat.
Amanda Jackson sings:

    "You're so fine
     And you're mine!
     I'll be yours, 'til then end of time!
     'Cause you maade me feel
     Yeah you maade me feel
     I've nothing to hide!"

Amanda Jackson slides onto an invisible bed in her negligee-nightgown and swings her legs back and forth.
Amanda Jackson sings:

    "Like a virgin, ooh, ooh
     Like a virgin!
     Feels so good insiide
     When you hold me.. and your heart beats.. and you love me"

Amanda Jackson clutches her heart and winks at you.
Amanda Jackson sings:

    "Can't you hear my heart beat
     For the very first time?"

Amanda Jackson bows.
Gwyneth Wahlberg exclaims, "Somehow I think Amanda was singing that song waaaay before three years ago. Let's give it up for the musical talents of Amanda Jackson!"
Keanu Witherspoon says, "Give it up for Amanda 'your going to call me later, right? Jackson! "
 

Keanu Witherspoon says, "The always dapper Jay Ryerson! "

You see Karaoke Singer Jay Ryerson.
He appears to be in his late teens.
He stands 5 feet and 11 inches tall and has a trim build.  He has fair skin, tousled short sunny blonde hair, and blue eyes.  He is clean shaven and has a faint scar on his face.
Jay seems to be in an elated mood.

He is holding a well-oiled black leather whip in his right hand.
Jay Ryerson is wearing a slim silver watch, some lip balm, a silver knife pendant, a black leather armband, a pair of silver handcuffs, a dragon tattoo, some gnarled horns, a black leather wristlet, a sleek black leather backpack, a crimson silk shirt with billowing sleeves, some black leather gloves, a black leather collar, a black leather mask, a black leather anklet, a black leather anklet, a black leather armband, a pair of black leather pirate boots, a black leather pouch, a pair of tight black leather pants, a double-wrapped sword belt with strong brass buckles, a belt scabbard, a belt scabbard, and a PBR communicator.

Jay Ryerson strides boldly toward the karaoke machine, his leather outfit creaking with every step.
Jay Ryerson carefully chooses his song and waits for the music to start.
Jay Ryerson begins to move his body to a heady, synthesized beat you recognize as disticntly Depeche Mode.
Jay Ryerson snakes his whip out on the floor in front of him and pulls it slithering back to himself.
Slightly off-key, Jay Ryerson sings:

    "There's a new game
     We like to play, you see.
     A game with added reality.
     You treat me like a dog,
     Get me down on my knees..."

Jay Ryerson lets his eyes roam unabashedly over a young man as the beat permeates your body.
Slightly off-key, Jay Ryerson sings:

    "We call it Master and Servant!
     We call it Master and Servant!"

Jay Ryerson stalks around the room, eyes blazing lustfully over the gathered bodies.
Jay Ryerson snaps his whip forward sharply causing a **CRACK** to split the air.
Jay Ryerson gazes at Michael Thinnes.
Jay Ryerson makes a suggestive comment to Michael Thinnes!
Slightly off-key, Jay Ryerson sings:

    "It's a lot like life,
     This play between the sheets,
     With you on the top, and me underneath.
     Forget all about equality..."

Jay Ryerson prowls around the room, looking for another vict-er-patron to sing to.
Slightly off-key, Jay Ryerson sings:

    "Let's play Master and Servant!
     Let's play Master and Servant!"

Jay Ryerson licks his lips.
Jay Ryerson siddles up to Leyra Saevus and caresses her hair.
Leyra Saevus blinks.
Leyra Saevus blushes a nice shade of off-pink.
Slightly off-key, Jay Ryerson sings:

    "It's a lot like life,
     And that's what's appealing,
     If you despise that throwaway feeling,
     From disposable fun,
     Then this is the one!"

Jay Ryerson spins the handcuffs on his wrist and smiles lecherously at Ransom Blackhawk.
Jay Ryerson winks at Josephine March.
Ransom Blackhawk blinks.
Slightly off-key, Jay Ryerson sings:

    "Domination's the name of the game!
     In bed or in life,
     They're both just the same,
     Except in one you're fulfilled
     At the end of the day."

Jay Ryerson leers at you as the beat goes on.
Slightly off-key, Jay Ryerson sings:

    "Let's play Master and Servant!
     Let's play Master and Servant!"

Jay Ryerson licks his lips and prowls back toward the karaoke machine, eyeing you as he passes.
Slightly off-key, Jay Ryerson sings:

    "Let's play Master and Servant
     Let's play Master and Servant
     Come on!
     Master and Servant!"

Jay Ryerson strikes a provocative pose as the music suddenly stops.
Jay Ryerson snaps his whip forward sharply causing a **CRACK** to split the air.
Jay Ryerson bows.
Keanu Witherspoon says, "Give it up for Jay Ryerson! "
Gwyneth Wahlberg exclaims, "Okay, Jay "gonna get me fired!" Ryerson... !"
 

Keanu Witherspoon says, "The songstress of super hits Shiva Malone! "

You see Shiva Malone, the Dreamweaver.
She appears to be in her mid-twenties.
She stands 5 feet and 6 inches tall and has an average build.  She has light skin, long wavy strawberry blonde hair, and blue-grey eyes.
Shiva seems to be in a nervous mood.

Shiva Malone is wearing a black suede backpack with a silver S hanging from the zipper, a red brown henna tattoo in a Celtic design on the back of each hand, a daisy tattoo, a canvas beach bag, a pristine ice fragrance, a grey Mad Goat stamp, a clear communicator with helpless-looking trapped plastic people frantically pressed against the surface, a heather grey cotton tanktop with baby blue satin trim, an antique silver locket, some midnight blue nail-polish, a wide black headband, a set of three silver bangles, a pair of old school tennis shoes with rainbow stripes and nylon laces, a pair of soft corduroy pants, and some blue glitter lipgloss.

Shiva Malone smiles.
Shiva Malone sets up a microphone stand and covers it with a flowing neon green scarf.
Shiva Malone fiddles with the karaoke machine.
Shiva Malone walks up to the front as a slow song begins to play.
Shiva Malone sways back and forth.
Shiva Malone sings:

    "Swaying room as the music starts
     Strangers making the most of the dark
     Two by two their bodies become one"

Shiva Malone gazes out into the group of people in front of her, settling her eyes on each for only a fleeting moment.
Shiva Malone sings:

    "I see you through the smokey air
     Can't you feel the weight of my stare
     You're so close but still a world away
     What I'm dying to say, is that"

Shiva Malone's fingers pull her hair back from her face and hold it as the music gets more intense.
Shiva Malone sings:

    "I'm crazy for you
     Touch me once and you'll know it's true
     I never wanted anyone like this
     It's all brand new, you'll feel it in my kiss
     I'm crazy for you, crazy for you"

Shiva Malone lets her hands travel slowly down the sides of her body while the music tames down.
Shiva Malone grabs the microphone from its stand and saunters over to Jonathan McDowell and begins singing again.
Shiva Malone sings:

    "Trying hard to control my heart
     I walk over to where you are
     Eye to eye we need no words at all"

Shiva Malone grins like she's up to something.
Shiva Malone pulls Jonathan McDowell to his feet.
Shiva Malone sings:

    "Slowly now we begin to move
     Every breath I'm deeper into you
     Soon we two are standing still in time"

Shiva Malone wraps her arms around Jonathan's shoulders, keeping the mic pointed at her mouth as they begin to dance slowly, oblivious of their surroundings.
Shiva Malone gazes at Jonathan McDowell.
Shiva Malone sings:

    "If you read my mind, you'll see
     I'm crazy for you
     Touch me once and you'll know it's true
     I never wanted anyone like this
     It's all brand new, you'll feel it in my kiss
     I'm crazy for you, crazy for you"

Jonathan McDowell smiles at Shiva Malone.
Shiva Malone holds Jonathan McDowell in her arms, and they sway gently back and forth together.
Shiva Malone sings:

    "It's all brand new, I'm crazy for you"

Shiva Malone switches the microphone from one hand to the other and takes a step away from Jonathan.
Shiva Malone sings:

    "And you know it's true"

Shiva Malone sings:

    "I'm crazy, crazy for you"

Shiva Malone smiles sweetly.
Shiva Malone sways her body with the beat of the music as she walks back up to the mircrophone stand and replaces the mic.
Shiva Malone winks as the song ends, adding a last, throaty "I'm crazy for you."
Keanu Witherspoon exclaims, "A round of applause for Shiva Malone!"
Gwyneth Wahlberg exclaims, "All right! And we're crazy for that singing! Give it up for Shiva!"
Shiva Malone takes down the neon green scarf.
Shiva Malone walks back over to Jonathan.
Shiva Malone sits down next to Jonathan McDowell.
 

Keanu Witherspoon exclaims, "The talk of Cape Morassas Kim Canella!"
Kim Canella walks up to the stage.
Kim Canella puts a black satin top-hat on her head.

You see Kim Canella, the Instructor.
She appears to be in her late thirties.
She stands 5 feet and 8 inches tall and has a trim build.  She has tan skin, long wavy brown hair, and blue eyes.

Kim Canella is wearing a white dress shirt, a black bow tie, a black satin top-hat, some fine black leather shoes, a soft brushed-leather mailbag, a sterling silver ring, a solar-powered PBR communicator, a thin silver ring, and a black tuxedo.

Kim Canella gets an ivory-handled cane from inside her black tuxedo.
Kim Canella sings sweetly:

    "If you're blue and you don't know where to go to
     Why don't you go where fashion sits,
     Puttin' on the ritz?"

Kim Canella pauses a moment, flashing a big smile.
Kim Canella sings sweetly:

    "Different types who wear a day coat, pants with stripes, and cutaway coat,
     Perfect fits,
     Puttin' on the ritz."

Kim Canella sings sweetly:

    "Dressed up like a million dollar trouper
     Trying hard to look like Gary Cooper (super duper)"

Kim Canella sings sweetly:

    "Come let's mix where Rockefellers walk with sticks or "umberellas" in their mitts,
     Puttin' on the ritz."

Kim Canella smiles as she saunters along, swinging her cane.
Kim Canella stops and faces you, tucking her cane under her arm.
Kim Canella sings sweetly:

    "Have you seen the well-to-do up and down Park Avenue,
     On that famous thoroughfare with their noses in the air,
     High hats and Arrow collars, white spats and lots of dollars,
     Spending every dime for a wonderful time?"

Kim Canella lifts her top hat slightly at you as she flashes a toothy smile.
Kim Canella sings sweetly:

    "If you're blue and you don't know where to go to
     Why don't you go where fashion sits,
     Puttin' on the ritz,
     Puttin' on the ritz,
     Puttin' on the ritz?"

Kim Canella tilts her top hat down over her forehead and taps her cane twice on the floor.
Kim Canella sings sweetly:

    "Puttin' on the ritz."

Kim Canella bows.
Keanu Witherspoon says, "Kim Canella everybody! "
Gwyneth Wahlberg exclaims, "What a great "Cracker" Jack singing about the Ritz!! Woo! Kim!"
 

Keanu Witherspoon says, "The crooner of Cricket Corner  Catriona Anjheliko"

You see Catriona Anjheliko.
She appears to be in her late teens.
She stands 4 feet tall and has a trim build.  She has pale skin, ankle-length straight deep purple hair, and emerald eyes.
Catriona seems to be in a nervous mood.

Catriona Anjheliko is wearing a plastic pink watch, a very wide black leather belt with a large silver buckle and small silver chains draped across the front, a shoulder harness, a dragon tattoo, a PBR communicator, some lip balm, a 'Long Live King Matthew!!' t-shirt, a pair of combat boots, a University of Morada class ring, a pair of black vinyl jeans, an ebony journey pack shot through with narrow strands of steelsilk, a pair of prescription eyeglasses with steel frames, and a mauve collector's case.

Catriona Anjheliko snickers.
Catriona Anjheliko steps up to the microphone, looking very nervous and locks her legs into place as the music starts.
Horribly off-key, Catriona Anjheliko sings:

    "I'm just a gigolo, and everywhere I go,
      People know the part I'm playing.
      Paid for every dance, selling each romance,
      Every night some heart betraying."

Horribly off-key, Catriona Anjheliko sings:

    "There will come a day when youth will pass away,
      Then what will they say about me?
      When the end comes I know they'll say just a gigolo as,
      Life goes on without me!"

Catriona Anjheliko grins broadly, winking at a few people in the crowd.
Horribly off-key, Catriona Anjheliko sings:

    "There will come a day when youth will pass away,
      Then what will they say about me?
      When the end comes I know they'll say just a gigolo as,
      Life goes on without me, 'cause... "

Catriona Anjheliko inhales deeply and giving a huge, flirting wink to Jay Ryerson in the process!
Horribly off-key, Catriona Anjheliko sings:

    "I ain't got nobody,
      Nobody, nobody cares for me!
      Nobody!! Nobody!!"

Jay Ryerson smirks.
Catriona Anjheliko flails her arms out in a odd imitation of a Fosse move, and throws her right leg out in a poor kick, mostly in time with the beat.
Horribly off-key, Catriona Anjheliko sings:

    "I'm so sad and lonely.
      Sad and lonely, sad and lonely...
      Won't some sweet mama come and take a chance with me,
      'Cause I ain't so bad!"

Jay squints at Catriona.
Horribly off-key, Catriona Anjheliko sings:

    "Get along with me babe, been singin' love songs,
      All of the time!
      Even only be, honey only, only be,
      Bop bozadee bozadee bop ditty bop!"

Catriona Anjheliko makes a couple kissy-faces at Laera Saevus!
Horribly off-key, Catriona Anjheliko sings:

    "I ain't got nobody 'cept love songs in love! "

Catriona Anjheliko licks her lips seductively and then makes a rather attractive pouty face which dissolves as soon as she goes into her next line.
Horribly off-key, Catriona Anjheliko sings:

    "Hummala bebhuhla zeebuhla boobuhla hummala bebhuhla zeebuhla bop!!"

Jay Ryerson blinks.
Leyra Saevus blinks.
Horribly off-key, Catriona Anjheliko sings:

    "I ain't got nobody,
      Nobody, nobody cares for me!
      Nobody!! Nobody!!"

Catriona Anjheliko stretches out her left hand near her face and waves it back and forth, doing a weird sort of hula movement with her hips while her feet stay perfectly stationary.
Horribly off-key, Catriona Anjheliko sings:

    "I'm so sad and lonely,
      Sad and lonely, sad and lonely...
      Won't some sweet mama come and take a chance with me,
      'Cause I ain't so bad!!"

Catriona Anjheliko turns around and shakes her bottom, attempting, perhaps to show you that she really isn't all that bad.
Horribly off-key, Catriona Anjheliko sings:

    "Get along with me babe, been singin' love songs,
      All of the time,
      Even only be, honey only, only be... "

Leyra Saevus snickers.
Horribly off-key, Catriona Anjheliko sings:

    "I ain't got nobody, I know...
      'cuz Nobody cares for me. "

Catriona Anjheliko sniffles dejectedly.
Catriona Anjheliko bows.
Keanu Witherspoon exclaims, "Catriona Anjheliko!"
Gwyneth Wahlberg exclaims, "Hummala bebhuhla zeebuhla boobuhla hummala bebhuhla zeebuhla bop sounds like a new great perp name to me!"
Catriona Anjheliko walks away from the microphone looking rather red.
 

Keanu Witherspoon exclaims, "That singing officer of law Auguste Delatour!"
You giggle.
You say, "Not exactly."

You see Cross-stitcher Auguste Delatour.
She appears to be in her early twenties.
She stands 5 feet and 9 inches tall and has an average build.  She has creamy skin, long red hair pulled into a French twist, and green eyes.

She is holding a small leather suitcase in her right hand.
Auguste Delatour is wearing a gold charm bracelet, a long strand of pearls, a peacock pin communicator enameled in jewel tones, some cranberry lipstick, a slender golden hairpin, an antique silver pocket watch, a black and yellow ribbon affixed with an American flag pin, an ivory shoulder bag with a colorful floral cross stitch design, a tailored silk blouse, a grey skirt, a grey blazer, and a pair of grey pumps.

You smile.
You say, "When I first read about the theme of today's contest in the newspaper, I was a bit puzzled about what to sing but soon thought of a solution. Being unconventional as usual, I have chosen a song from "Chess," a 1980s musical about love and political intrigue at a Cold War era chess tournament. I'm afraid my costume is rather boring but I doubt that a chess champion's assistant would be a fashion plate. Anyway, the song is called "Nobody's Side."   "
Auguste Delatour places a suitcase and a pile of clothes on top of a table before putting a CD into the karaoke machine and pushing a button. Getting into character, she glances around the room with a dazed look on her face. As the music starts, you note that it doesn't sound like a conventional showtune.
You sing:

    "What's going on around me
      Is barely making sense
      I need some explanations fast"

You frown.
You sing:

    "I see my present partner
      In the imperfect tense
      And I don't see how we can last"

Auguste Delatour emphasizes the next two lines, singing them a bit more loudly.
You sing:

    "I feel I need a change of cast
      Maybe I'm on nobody's side"

You sing:

    "And when he gives me reasons
      To justify each move
      They're getting harder to believe"

You shake your head.
You sing:

    "I know this can't continue
      I've still a lot to prove"

You sing:

    "There must be more I could achieve
      But I didn't have the nerve to leave"

Auguste Delatour takes on a determined expression as she approaches the table with the suitcase and clothes: blouses, skirts, and dresses, all in the styles of the eighties.
You sing:

    "Everybody's playing the game
      But nobody's rules are the same
      Nobody's on nobody's side"

You sing:

    "Better learn to go it alone
      Recognize you're out on your own
      Nobody's on nobody's side"

Auguste Delatour roughly runs her fingers through her hair and shakes her head slightly.
You sing:

    "The one I should not think of
      Keeps rolling through my mind
      And I don't want to let that go"

You sing:

    "No lover's ever faithful
      No contract truly signed"

You sing:

    "There's nothing certain left to know"

Auguste Delatour clenches one of the blouses on the table as she bitterly concludes the thought.
You sing:

    "And how the cracks begin to show!"

Auguste Delatour flings opens the suitcase and starts to pack as her determined expression returns.
You sing:

    "Never make a promise or plan
      Take a little love where you can
      Nobody's on nobody's side"

You sing:

    "Never stay too long in your bed
      Never loose your heart, use your head
      Nobody's on nobody's side"

Auguste Delatour holds the last note of the line as an electric guitar wails away in the background. After taking a breath, she continues somewhat cynically.
You sing:

    "Never take a stranger's advice
      Never let a friend fool you twice
      Nobody's on nobody's side"

You sing:

    "Never be the first to believe
      Never be the last to deceive
      Nobody's on nobody's side"

Auguste Delatour picks up a watch that had been hidden among the clothes and glances at it before tossing it into the suitcase.
You sing:

    "And never leave a moment too soon
      Never waste a hot afternoon
      Nobody's on nobody's side"

You sing:

    "Never stay a minute too long
      Don't forget the best will go wrong
      Nobody's on nobody's side"

Auguste Delatour puts the last of the clothes into the suitcase and snaps it shut.
You sing:

    "Better learn to go it alone
      Recognize you're out on your own
      Nobody's on nobody's side"

Auguste Delatour picks up the suitcase and walks away as the song finishes.
Keanu Witherspoon exclaims, "Woo! Auguste Delatour!"
You curtsy.
Auguste Delatour retrieves the CD from the karaoke machine and returns to her seat.
Gwyneth Wahlberg exclaims, "Did you hear that electric guitar?? Rock on, Auguste!"
 

Keanu Witherspoon exclaims, "The smooth sounds of Kri Caselli!"
Kri Caselli giggles.

You see Tap Dancer Kri Caselli.
She appears to be in her mid-thirties.
She stands 5 feet and 1 inches tall and has an average build.  She has creamy skin, shoulder-length strawberry blonde hair twisted into a bun, and brown eyes.
Kri seems to be in a mischievous mood.

Kri Caselli is wearing a dainty gold ring set with a deep blue sapphire, a leather satchel, a shimmering backpack embroidered with a motif of iridescent faeries and colorful spiraling stained-glass butterflies which leave sparkling trails of diamond-like dust in their wake, a rose candy necklace, a jeweled arm bracelet of vining red roses, a dusky blue beaded tote, a thin silver belly chain with dangling bell charms, a card collector's case, some zigzag metal hairsticks topped with sparkling red crystal flowers, some diamond earrings, a PBR communicator, a smooth malachite toe-ring, a pair of red wax lips, some red lipstick, an antique silver bracelet etched with flowers and twisting vines, an expensive watch, a pair of strappy metallic pink slides, a bright bikini patterned with lush tropical flowers, a mosaic fish printed blue t-shirt, and a jeweled ear cuff of vining red roses.

Kri Caselli breathes deeply flashing you a smile.
Kri Caselli walks out onto the darkened stage and you hear faint music begin to play and shimmering light playing off of a disco ball glitters around the room. Kri looks out into the distance and begins to sing for you.
Slightly off-key, Kri Caselli sings:

    "Last dance..."

Slightly off-key, Kri Caselli sings:

    "Last dance for love"

Slightly off-key, Kri Caselli sings:

    "Yes, it's my last chance....."

Slightly off-key, Kri Caselli sings:

    "....for romance, tonight."

Kri Caselli saunters forward and lowers herself to sit with her legs dangling off of the front of the stage.
Slightly off-key, Kri Caselli sings:

    "I need you,
         by me
           beside me... to guide me"

Slightly off-key, Kri Caselli sings:

    "To hold me, to scold me,"

Slightly off-key, Kri Caselli sings:

    "'cause when I'm bad I'm so, so bad.."

Slightly off-key, Kri Caselli sings:

    "So let's dance, the last dance"

Slightly off-key, Kri Caselli sings:

    "Let's dance, the last dance"

Slightly off-key, Kri Caselli sings:

    "Let's dance, this last dance tonight"

Kri Caselli struts out to the stage turning on the heat and the crowd.
Slightly off-key, Kri Caselli sings:

    "Last dance, last dance for love"

Slightly off-key, Kri Caselli sings:

    "Yes, it's my last chance
     For romance... toooo--niiight"

Slightly off-key, Kri Caselli sings:

    "Oh, I need you, by me,
     Beside me, to guide me,"

Slightly off-key, Kri Caselli sings:

    "To hold me, to scold me,
     'cause when I'm bad .....I'm so, so bad"

Kri Caselli winks and smiles flirtatiously with you.
Kri Caselli comes out into the audience dancing with several people as  she makes her way around the room.
Slightly off-key, Kri Caselli sings:

    "So let's dance, the last dance"

Slightly off-key, Kri Caselli sings:

    "Let's dance, the last dance"

Slightly off-key, Kri Caselli sings:

    "Let's dance, this last dance tonight"

Kri Caselli places her finger on the shoulder of Jim Nugent, tracing it slowly down his chest.
Slightly off-key, Kri Caselli sings:

    "Yeah, will you be my Mr. Right?"

Slightly off-key, Kri Caselli sings:

    "Can you fill my appetite"

Slightly off-key, Kri Caselli sings:

    "I can't be sure, that you're the one for me"

Slightly off-key, Kri Caselli sings:

    "But all that I ask
      Is that you dance with me,dance with me, dance with me, yeah"

Kri Caselli twirls across the room ending by your chair.
Slightly off-key, Kri Caselli sings:

    "Oh, I need you, by me,
     Beside me, to guide me,"

Kri Caselli exclaims, "Let me hear you sing with me now!"
Slightly off-key, Kri Caselli sings:

    "To hold me, to scold me,
     'cause when I'm bad .....I'm so, so bad"

Kri Caselli comes back through the audience dancing with several more people as she makes her way back around the room.

Slightly off-key, Kri Caselli sings:

    "So let's dance, the last dance"

Slightly off-key, Kri Caselli sings:

    "Let's dance, the last dance"

Kri Caselli dances around letting it all hang out, showing you all of her many dance moves.
Slightly off-key, Kri Caselli sings:

    "Let's dance, this last dance tonight"

Kri Caselli exclaims, "Get your hands movin, C'mon now!"
Teka Smith claps to the beat of the music.
Slightly off-key, Kri Caselli sings:

    "Oh, I need you, by me,
     Beside me, to guide me,"

Jay Ryerson blinks.
Jay Ryerson tucks Kri back in.
Kri Caselli grabs Jay and Michael starting a conga line around the Cantina!
Slightly off-key, Kri Caselli sings:

    "To hold me, to scold me,
     'cause when I'm bad .....I'm so, so bad"

Gwyneth Wahlberg claps too.
Michael Thinnes laughs!
Slightly off-key, Kri Caselli sings:

    "So, come on baby, dance that dance"

Shiva Malone jumps up and joins the conga line.
Slightly off-key, Kri Caselli sings:

    "Come on baby, dance that dance"

Gillian Eldritch gets her hands moving.
Catriona Anjheliko tries to clap along with the beat.
Slightly off-key, Kri Caselli sings:

    "Come on baby, let's dance tonight...  "

Kri Caselli launches into an incredible series of dance moves before clenching her hand in the air signaling the last note of the piece.
Keanu Witherspoon exclaims, "Kri Caselli woo!"
Gwyneth Wahlberg keeps doing the conga even when the music is over!
 

Keanu Witherspoon exclaims, "Last but not least Gregor Popov!!!"

You see Gregor Popov, the Ventriloquist.
He appears to be in his mid-thirties.
He stands 5 feet and 11 inches tall and has a trim build.  He has fair skin, close-cut boyish soft black hair, and hazel eyes.  He is unshaven.

Gregor Popov is wearing a hematite ring, an onyx ring with an antique silver setting, a braided belt knotted over itself, a silver collector's case, a PBR communicator, a sports watch, a sturdy bracelet of Juzu beads alternating between rich mahogany and timberwolf in color, a turquoise ring, an ornamented gold medal, a single black cross earring, a thick leather pouch, a serpentine ring, a pair of white athletic socks, some thick leather boots, a large and rugged black waterproof field pack, a shoulder harness, a pair of sleek blue wrap-around sunglasses with metallic lenses, a pair of jungle green side-zip cargo shorts with flap pockets, and a rose-red leather whip with sharpened steel thorns at the tip.

Gregor Popov smiles.
Gregor Popov waves.
Gregor Popov approaches the karaoke machine.
Gregor Popov bows.
Gregor Popov smiles as he hears the oommpah beat begin.
Gregor Popov sways back and forth.
Slightly off-key, Gregor Popov sings:

    "I was walkin' down the street on a sunny day,
     Hubba hubba hubba hubba hubba!"

Gregor Popov beams happily.
Slightly off-key, Gregor Popov sings:

    "A feeling in my bones that I'll have my way,
     Hubba hubba hubba hubba hubba!"

Slightly off-key, Gregor Popov sings:

    "Well I'm a happy boy! (happy boy)
     Well I'm a happy boy (happy boy)!
     Oh ain't it good when things are going your way, hey hey?"

Gregor Popov performs a beginner's jig, adding in a toe heel step.
Slightly off-key, Gregor Popov sings:

    "My little dog spot got hit by a car -
 
     Hubba hubba hubba hubba hubba"

Slightly off-key, Gregor Popov sings:

    "Put his guts in a box and put him in a drawer -
 
     Hubba hubba hubba hubba hubba"

Slightly off-key, Gregor Popov sings:

    "Well I'm a happy boy! (happy boy)
     Well I'm a happy boy (happy boy)!
     Oh ain't it good when things are going your way, hey hey?"

Gregor Popov performs a beginner's jig, adding in a toe heel step.

Slightly off-key, Gregor Popov sings:

    "I forgot all about it for a month and a half -
 
     Hubba hubba hubba hubba hubba"

Slightly off-key, Gregor Popov sings:

    "I looked in the drawer and started to laugh -
     Hubba hubba hubba hubba hubba! "

Slightly off-key, Gregor Popov sings:

    "Well I'm a happy boy! (happy boy)
     Well I'm a happy boy (happy boy)!
     Oh ain't it good when things are going your way, hey hey?"

Gregor Popov performs a beginner's jig, adding in a toe heel step.
Gregor Popov pulls out a kazoo and finishes the song with a florish!
Gregor Popov bows.
Gregor Popov exclaims, "thank you very much!"
Gregor Popov beams happily.
Gwyneth Wahlberg exclaims, "I think he's a happy Boy!"
 

Gwyneth Wahlberg asks, "Everyone ready for the results?"
Gwyneth Wahlberg exclaims, "Alright! Just like last time, we have options on prizes... and let me tell you, it was a tough choice tonight!"
Gwyneth Wahlberg says, "So I'm going to need to see our top three contestants up here..."
Gwyneth Wahlberg exclaims, "Auguste, The German Guys, and Kim Canella!"
Gwyneth Wahlberg says, "C'mon up"
Altdorf Gosslershausen says, "We have names, ja."
Altdorf Gosslershausen says, "You seem them on our 943 magazine covers."
Bartenstein Gosslershausen says, "Like Phil, she never knows our name."
Gwyneth Wahlberg exclaims, "Altdorf and Bartenstien!"
Gwyneth Wahlberg says, "And that's all for the singers! Now..for the best costume.."
Gwyneth Wahlberg exclaims, "The best costume of the night.. goes to Jay!"