The Catacombs of Hecate

How to Prove Your Insanity (Even If You Are Sane)

Do you wish to prove your insanity, make yourself look mad, or annoy people here are a few things to do... They are quite funny... I shall make a few additions to some of these suggestions which will be noted...

Author Unknown/Carrealla Hecate (additions)

1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car and point your hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.

2. Page yourself over the intercom and don't disguise your voice.

3. Insist that your e-mail address be: zena_goddess_of_fire@companyname.com Carrealla Adsition: or GOD@companyname.com, SATAN@companyname.com, and GODDESS@companyname.com, note that it is better a male use a goddess address...

4. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

5. Encourage your colleagues to join you in a little synchronized chair dancing.

6. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it IN.

7. Develop an unnatural fear of staplers. Carrealla Addition: or anything bizarre like your mouse, the fax machine, telephone, etc., etc...

8. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to expresso.

9. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sexual favors."

10. Reply to everything someone says with, "That's what you think." Carrealla Addition: or perhaps "I'll have to tell Q about that", "Q might not agree...", and, "Let me verify that with Q."

11. Adjust the tint on your monitor so that the brightness level lights up the entire work area. Insist to others that you like it that way. Carrealla Addition: Do not attempt this without sunglasses...

12. Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy." Carrealla Addition: or "In accordance to Q..." :)

13. dontuseanypunctuationorspaces

14. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

15. Ask people what sex they are.

16. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

17. Sing along at the opera.

18. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme. Carrealla Addition: or do not...

19. Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Wear them one day after your boss does. (This is especially effective if your boss is the opposite gender.)

20. Send e-mail to the rest of the company to tell them where you're going. For example: If anyone needs me, I'll be in the bathroom.

21. Put mosquito netting around your cubicle.

22. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.

23. Hum when you ride an elevator. Carrealla's Addition: Learn the elevator music and hum along...

The following are prue Carrealla Additions: (so blame her absent humor)

24. Before speaking to someone ask if anyone is watching...

25. Develop an imaginary friend named Sir Dulap Codpiece.

26. Wear a trechcoat everywhere, pull it tighly around you, lower your head and walk thourgh your workplace with darting eyes.... Ummm, but do not try this at school or if you work for some up tight people...

27. Tell people you pray to Q and that he said he will deliver you from all harm...

28. Tell people you pray to Q and he said that everyone but you will go to Hell...

29. Place a fake shurken head on on of those swaying hawiaan dancer things and put it on your desk at work. Before going to lunch, sitting down, turning on the computer, or every once in awhile, tap the head and chant something odd: example:"Ohm's Law", "Doo Lu Mr. T-la", "Cava Coda Q."

30. When departing tell everone, "May the force be with you.":)

31. Send messages telling people to follow the white rabbit, that CRS has requested a call back, or that you ARE Batman.

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