This is Mel's page of creativity...
Untitled #1
It's been ages since I took a knife to my skin,
My blades now rust at the bootom of the bin
In the shower, tears run down my face
Bloodied razors they replace
The hot water washes my problems away
Cleanses my soul
Reminds me of better days
Been here so long my skin's like a prune
Out of the shower and stand in front of the moon
The moon gives me hope
Faith in what's real
Scars remind me of days I couldn't deal
I'm cold, wet and naked, so I start to shiver
I don't cut now; I just poison my liver
When I'm low, I no longer reach for the knife
A bottle of Vodka now saves my life
Either way, I cause my body harm
But it's the only way I find inner peace
And calm.
Daddy
My dad's a very angry man
An angry and violent man
He hurts ,me with his words, rather than his hands
He's hit me once, twice, three times?
I can't remember
What's a smack, or a slap?
I just block it out
Last time I remember, he began to shout
"Don't look at me like that, you're not my mother!"
It's what you get for sticking up for your baby brother.
He stampeded over clanching his fists
Grabbed my neck, I was a child, it was the size of his wrist
I didn't back down, I looked him in the eye
His arm started to shake and he began to cry
He stormed out of my room, slamming the door
I'd won the battle, shame I'll lose the war
What I was then and what I am now
I used to be perfect
Slime, smart and happy
Now I'm a freak
Covered in scars
Unable to trust
Unable to love
Desensitised to violence
Desensitised to life
All I am now is an empty shell
All you can hear is the echo of my pain
Before I lost it, my sanity
My chastity, my self-repect
I used to be me:
Happy, perfect and pure.
Untitled #2
What do you see when you look at me?
Do you see the person I used to be?
Well I don't want to be a victim anymore
I'm gonna be a hero, with out a sword
I'm gonna take back the control I once had
Over my body, if I feel good or bad
All I had to do to make my troubles fade
Was cut myself with a knife or a blade
But I don't want that anymore
I don't want to give in anymore
I don't want to cry anymore
AND I don't wanna be a victim anymore
I'm gonna be a hero, without the sword
So please dont fight my battles for me
I'll be fine
I've got it again... the control is mine!
Untitled #3
You were all kind to me
In your funny little ways
You all said you wanted me
Although none of you decided to stay
You all moved in for the kill
Sorry... I meant kiss
I was fooled into believing you cared
That it was real
By the poison on your lips
An addiction grows to the way I feel
I'll do whatever you say
You can make me feel good
You I shall obey
Laying there kissing, feeling quite content
You stop for a moment to ask if I give head
I look at you, smile, like I did for those before
I follow your commands and whilst kneeling on the floor
Give you what you really want
For I know it isn't me
You all said I was hot - but never did I believe
But you were all kind to me
In your funny little ways
Which made it easier to do what I did
To believe your ficking lies
Bekah
Bekah, there's nothing wrong with the way you look
Your face, your body, your weight
Everything about you, personality, humour
You've always looked great
But we've both changed so much in recent years
Lost our innocence, our faith, been controlled by fear
Through it all, we have been there for each other
Cared like sisters, loved like mothers
I worry about you each day! Even when I sleep
My eyes, like your wounds, constantly weep.
I want to help but I dunno where to begin
I love you so much, but you've grown so thin
I worry that days have gone by without you eating
That one day you'll be found dead, bloodied and beaten
You're a tower of strength to all you meet
Together this is something we can beat
Let me help you before it's too late
Together we'll change the hand dealt by fate
Please let me shelter you from depressions next wave
I don't want to lay flowers and cry at a another friend's grave
I'd just like to say here, Mel I love you so much hunni, thank you for this poem - it means more to me than you realise... I will treasure it forever my darling... love you sis *kiss*
If you have any comments and/or helpful suggestion, or would like to submit some of your own Creativity, please feel free to email me at: beaty_dude@hotmail.com
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