Al Gore vs. William Shatner:

wrote a book about saving the earth vs. has saved the entire universe (repeatedly!)

The phrase "stiff as a board" will soon be replaced with "stiff as a Gore" vs. Appealing fluffiness around the middle---puts the "love" back in "love handles"

 Appeal to minority voters:

Lame attempts to rhyme like Jesse Jackson vs. First interracial kiss on television

Constant waffling on "don't ask, don't tell,"--apparently thought it meant he shouldn't tell anyone that he thought it was a bad idea from the beginning vs. Two words: Kirk/Spock

 Alpha Male Potential:

Poor. Hired feminist Naomi Wolf to advise him on appearing more like an "alpha" dog, a true pack leader. At her suggestion, Al dresses in earth tones to look more manly. What's that about? vs. Fantastic! Would charm the socks off Naomi Wolf if they ever met. If a shirt is unflattering, Bill simply tears it off while beating the crap out of large ugly monsters, crazed supervillains, television critics, etc.

 Ability to avoid pandering to the Christian Coalition's theocratic rhetoric

"The Democratic Party is going to take God back this time." (Al Gore's policy adviser, Elaine Kamarck)

Unbiased conclusion: What was the appeal of Al Gore again? Only one man is progressive enough to give us a spotted owl in every tree, a chicken in every pot, and some pot in every chicken! "Don't Ask, Just Bill!" 

(Hey, but Bill is long-shot-rather-bizarro-independent-party-friendly too! Click here for a comparison to Jesse "The Mind" Ventura!)

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