a.k.a.: Your Write-In Candidates For VP!
Yes, it's true. The Shatner Party is every bit as populist as the Reform Party!
So here we present your write-in votes for heartbeat-away-from-Shatnerdom. In the end, of course, the nation will become a benevolent dictatorship/theocracy under the revealed wisdom of the OTS, but rest assured! His Billness is only a suggestion box away from the party's true believers.
(For those willing to make a substantial donation ---or, as we like to call it, "love gift"--- of a mere million $$$, Bill will be considerably closer! NOTE: This offer does not apply to televangelists, politically embarrassing Chinese lobbyists, Ross Perot, the CFL, or Barbra Streisand.)
So read on, and be sure to write in! *(see note below)
Date: Fri, 21 Jan 2000 03:53:04 -0800
From: K W
Bill...and...Pikachu! Not only is It a Prince of All Media (Bill, of course, being the King of All Media), but It is also a walking, talking toupee! What more could you ask for? With this cuddly Veep, Bill is sure to garner not only the campaigning cash of his running mate, but all of the millions of votes of all Its devotees' parents! And think of the campaign memorabilia! Plush Bill'n'Pikachus! Handheld video games! Caps!
Shatner 2000 comments:
It's Tribble-icious. Despite raising the (shudder) unfortunate memory of the animated Star Trek series, this pairing has the definite advantage of securing loyalty to His Supremely Cuddly Shatnerness from the age demographic most able to appreciate his acting talents.
Bill n' Pikachu: Get Cuddly!
(eat your heart out, W!)
(Bill-n-Pikachu graphics, including the cap, cleverly designed by devout Shatnerologist Kam W!)
Write in #1:
From:"N. M." (B.B.)
Fri, 5 Nov 1999 18:39:28 -0500
My write-in candidate for the Shatner ticket is hockey superstar Jaromir Jagr.
Pros: He has hair almost approaching TOUPEE-level magnificence--but he's recently cut some of it off, so he won't out-TOUPEE the OTS He's good at being sarcastic to the media--a big plus in any public figure We have one of the two greatest hockey countries in the world represented on this ticket--CANADA--so it makes sense to include the other one--THE ROCKIN' CZECH REPUBLIC! No one will be able to pronounce his name, which will make "Bill Shatner" look nice and trustworthy and familiar and all-American He already has more money than any human would ever need, so he can fund the entire campaign himself!
Cons: He thinks Ronald Reagan was a pretty cool guy. Um, yikes! On the other hand, he grew up in a Communist-bloc country, so maybe it's a forgivable mistake, eh?
SHATNER 2000 COMMENTS:
Um, yeah, definite possibilities. I mean, it's not as if you proposed an ex-pro basketball player or something!
Shatner and Jagr: Get Tough!
Write in your own funky-yet-distinctly-long-shot candidate!
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