" ..too many cooks spoil the broth. "
 

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  • PUBLICATION - Smash Hits
  • ORIGIN - UK
  • DATE OF PUBLICATION - Month - ?, 1991 
  • SUBJECT - The La's
  • TITLE - Meet The La's, They're The New Rolf Harris's Of Pop!!
  • AUTHOR - Miranda Sawyer
  • CONTENT - Birth of The La's, barking rabbits, The Lav..
  • PHOTO - Andrew Catlin

Meet Cammy. He's the curly-topped lanky lad guitarist with Liverpool beat sensations The La's and he's not very happy.

"This is shit, la'," (" La' ", incidentally, is a peculiar Liverpudlian term for " lad " in case you were wondering.) he spits at his manager. "I'm not doin' this stuff any more. That's it. NO MORE."

And he stuffs his hands in his pockets, lowers his eyebrows alarmingly and crumples his smiley face into a terrifying no-messing frown. Cammy does not like having his picture taken.
"I feel like a nonce," he grumbles.

Oh dear. It doesn't look as though any of The La's are in the mood for throwing a few rock shapes for the Smash Hits photographer today. They shuffle their feet, puff on their fags, wander off for a cup of tea... they're just not very interested. They'd far rather be mucking about with their new toy, a VERY LOUD football hooter which they let off with glee behind people's backs. They also enjoy shouting "uh oh oh" in funny voices for some reason and making unseemly "phtrrp" noises on the backs of their hands. Yes, there's plenty of things The La's like doing but striking a photogenic pose is not one of them.

In desperation, the photographer gives them some pens and paint and asks them to "create" a suitable backdrop. "Write as many words as you can think of beginning with the letters L-A," he croaks hopefully. The La's like this better and even try to participate. Lee, duty-bound as the band's songwriter, gets stuck in first. "Lack Of..." he daubs thoughtfully. "... Lack Of Wages. Lance Percival. Laugh All The Way To The Bog With A Bonk On."
Cammy The Card contributes, "The Lav. The Bum. (??) Ooh La La." Drummer Neil silently and somewhat surreally offers "P'lankton. The Shei'Ias'. Lambo. Little Labradors." And, touchingly, "I Lav You". Baby-faced John (bass) watches, laughing for a while before joining in. "Liverpool," he carefully prints. "Lust." When it's pointed out to him that these don't quite follow the ground rules, he pauses for thought, then pens, "Lad".

Creative corner finished for the day, The La's gather round for a fireside chat. Conversation flounders a little mainly because The La's, although perfectly friendly, really don't see the point of interviews.

"We don't wanna be pop stars," explains Lee. "We just wanna run our own show, get our sounds across like, recordin', get it done live, make records, the rest of it. It's not important about
interviewin' and the flamin' rest of it, like."

Lee (Lee Anthony Mavers, pink top, born 2/8/62) and the cheery John (John Timothy Power, stripey top, 14/9/67) are the founding members of The La's. They started the band off in 1986 ("I met Lee through this lad I met who knew 'im," "reveals" John) and it was Cammy's unspeakably titled band of the time, The Marshmellow Overcoats, that supported them on their second gig. "We were crap," Cammy (Peter James Camell, purple top, born 30/6/67) happily admits.

What did you think of Cammy when you met him, John?
"He stunk, la', but 'e was a buzz."

Lee: "I knew Cammy's older brother from ages ago like, so I met 'im when 'e was about three."

Cammy: "That's right. 'E brought a dog to ours. A labrador. And we kept it."

Lee: "And they used to 'ave a rabbit in the back that barked."

Cammy joined and left The La's three times before deciding to stay last year, and Neil (Neil Andrew Mavers, white top, Lee's brother, born 8/7/71) became the drummer at the same time. Various other guitarists and drummers passed through before them, but, says Lee, "It takes a certain attitude to last in The La's" and they just didn't come up to Lee and John's perfectionist standards. Not much does. Not even their own LP.

Lee: "We 'ate it. It never captured anything that we were about. To cut a long story short, too many cooks spoil the broth."

John: "Not enough carrots. No sprouts, iron, the dark green veg which is dead good for yer, like. Spinach."

So. These four tufty-headed scallywags are aiming for "world domination" leaving a life on the dole for the spoils of fame. They all want nice houses and "motors" and holidays and John wants a Scalextric. But in the meantime they're quite happy where they are at the moment thank you: John lives in a flat with "floorboards and an out-of-tune piano", Neil lives with his mum and his room is blue and has bunk beds, Lee stays at his girlfriend's mostly and Cammy lives with his girlfriend Tricia and his four-year-old daughter, Ashley. So they don't really care much about money. And they certainly couldn't care less about interviewing "technique".

Let's try again. Erm, who do you hate?

Neil: "......"

Cammy: "......"

John: "Margaret Thatcher."

Lee: "You... no, I'm only messin' pet."

Last attempt. Have you got a message for the Smash Hits viewers, lads?

Cammy: "God Is Love."

John: "Kenny Dalglish."

Lee: "Uh oh ohhuhuh."

Neil: "Milk, two sugars, thanks."

I give up.

Miranda Sawyer.

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