I live in the United States. I was born December 14. Buy me something next time my birthday rolls around, or I'll say you tried to touch my bad places. Don't worry, that hasn't worked since I was eight. No one cares if people touch my bad places, anymore. Just me.
I'm mean sometimes. Sometimes people are mean to me. This usually amuses me, since I'm able to laugh at myself, mainly because I'm stupid and have no self-esteem. More often than not, though, I'll flail my arms and burst into tears of rage.
I'm also an accomplished liar. Except for the part about me crying.
I like to pick on people who bare their soul, but I do it, too. I'm just a bitch. A hypocritical one, at that. I like cats. I also like the joke, "How do you make a cat go 'woof'? Douse it with gasoline and throw it in the fireplace." I'm almost positive that fact ensures that I'm a hypocrite, and gives you disturbing insight into my many character flaws.
I don't have an original thought in my head, but fortunately I have no short-term memory. I write short stories which contains snatches of lyrics and overheard conversations and passages from books I've read and I think I'm a creative genius. Don't burst my bubble. Please.
Oh, and I'm sarcastic, too. People love sarcasm. They eat that shit right up, and will usually try to lick the bowl clean. That's because most people are stupid. They need to be thinned out like sickly sheep. Fuck it, they're all sheep. Yeah! Okay, where was I...
I have managed to put myself through school while working two jobs, raising three children (one not even my own), and maintaining a 4.0 GPA. And now I have a job that I love. I listen to music, fuck around and make drugs all day, and I get paid for it. I'm still not done with school, either. I'm working on a degree in Molecular Biosciences and Forensic Toxicology. Yes, I watch CSI. Mainly because every single one of the cast members in Las Vegas is goddamned hot. The storylines aren't bad, either. No, I don't want to work crime scenes. I want to work in a lab, where I can listen to music, run tests on evidence, and stay the hell away from humanity in general. And get paid for it.