The First Girl

Why can't I just be me?

What's wrong with that?

Is it because I'm not

good enough?

            Or is it because

maybe I'm too good?

Maybe I scare you.

Because maybe if I

were different,

that would make

YOU

different too.

And you don't want that?

            Why not?

Does different mean wrong?

Does different mean evil?

Does the same mean right?

Does the same mean good?

But doesn't the same mean

LOST?

Doesn't different mean

the same thing?

            Maybe.

            Maybe not.

Maybe different means I'm

lost . . .

to YOU.

Maybe it means I've

FOUND

myself.

SAME means

I'm found by

YOU.

Labeled by you.

Understood by you.

Bullshit.

I can't be found by you

if I haven't first been found

by myself.

Found by you,

lost to myself?

That's good?

How do you know this?

So should I be like the next girl?

            Who's like the next girl

                        who's like the next girl

                                    who's like the next girl

                                                who's like the next

                                                            and the next

                                                                        and the next

                                                                                    until finally

                                                                                                somebody

                                                                                                            is like

the FIRST girl.

            The one who started it.

            The one who was found when

she started,

            but became lost because

                        you became her.

So who could she become?

            Maybe she'll find she has to be

another

FIRST girl.

            Maybe I want to be a

FIRST

            girl.

Maybe I want to be

DIFFERENT.

            No, don't change for me!

            Don't corrupt me by

            Following

                        and following

                                    and following

and making me into . . .

            the SAME

            the LOST

I'm DIFFERENT.

I'm PROUD.

Let me keep it that way.