One
I wish his voice hadn't been so eager
when he called my name across campus.
I wish his brown eyes hadn't lit up
when he saw me there.
I wish his face wasn't so smooth,
his voice wasn't so gentle,
his mind so quick,
his gaze so encouraging.

I wish I hadn't seen him again,
that he hadn't been so ignorantly charming
when he gestured for me to
step before him.

I wish he hadn't understood in the first day
what it took you
two years to uncover.

I wish I'd never met him
so I wouldn't feel guilty about falling in love.
I wish I'd never met you
so my heart could plunge wholly into him.

I wish there was one and only one and always one.