*One Ring to rule them, one ring to fool them, one ring to snatch them up and in the chatroom bind them*

With the release date of "BOTCR" looming ever closer, the O'Shady and O'Shoddy Bros Quality Toy Co. have designed a line of authentic figurines from Middle Chat . These sturdy, realistic figures are made of diecast polyresin, with exquisitly painted fine details hand crafted by oriental monkeys. A must have for all discriminating collectors.


(Click on pictures for larger view)
ROLLUM
DORK WARRIOR
DILDO BUGGERS
$395.61 US funds
(leaky boat, snack fish and creepy cavern setting sold separately)

Repulsive, obnoxious, gross, depraved, creepy and more. Rollum can reduce chatters to tears or rage in minutes....But occasionally he becomes quite and secretive and must be goaded back into action.
$1.49 ea. US funds
(Sold in six paks or by the dozen with a free case of Bud included - Toe shoes optional)

Most common, dull boring and unimaginative chatter. The Dork tends to display very sheeplike behaviour by agreeing with anything and everything said by just about everybody at anytime.. Rollum can rid the chatroom of Dorks in minutes with little or no challenge.
$23.49 US funds
(comes equipped with over-sized toe nail and nose hair clippers )

Small, meek and slightly deviant he never had friends or excitement until he discovered Chatalyst. Now whenever his friends become languid and boring Dildo tallies forth to engage Rollum in mindless infantile bickering until everyone joins in and normalicy is restored to the chatroom.
LURCH
RONDALF
DORK MASTERBATER
$0.49 US funds
(sold unclothed but Viccies Secret underwear available for doll on request)

Large, loud, rude and totally baffling. No one knows what they are arguing about. It could be spelling, typos, lack of grammar or just very low intelligence. Rollum usually ignores these idiots. They tend to disappear on their own.
$285.31 US funds
(Designer cloak and pointy, bejewelled Wizard hat for evening wear included)

Proud, arrogant. A leader of chatters (not really). He's Bossy, vain and egotistical and claims nothing and no one can best him.....Well, Rollum can and has, watch Rollum turn into a blithering idiot - its astounding!
$53.29US funds
(must be 18 years or older or clinically insane to order this item)

Self-proclaimed king of the Dorks. Thinks he's a hacker extrodinaire but we all know he's a whacker extrodinaire (sends wanking pics out to girls in email). Says he can rid the chatroom of Rollum anytime. Don't hold your breath.




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