(Yellow Journalism at it's Finest)


July, 2001 "To Know, to Dare, to NOT Keep Silent". 7th Edition



BARF BAG - BACK WITH A BANG!
by B. Bouffaunt-Froux

Isn't it just SO exciting!? A triumphant Barf Bag Baby returning all the way from Europe, just to visit little old us. I managed to get an exclusive interview with BBB and she has revealed her "beauty tips" to Moi. Well here goes...:
(1) If you act like a Queen, you will be treated like a Queen. (2) When giving "stats" always use very imaginative descriptions of body parts and don't be afraid to stretch the truth..a LOT (besides who cares - its only the net). Well girls...heres a few examples of interesting stats from a few "questionable" so-called Goddesses in JFF:
§§§§_§§§: {666} Xtreme:...from head to toe brown as a berry with very miniscule* white bits,,*L*....it's fullon summer......
§§§§_§§§ unzips her wetsuit and pulls down one shoulder..revealing glistening soft mocha skin....~smiles~......
§§§§_§§§ taps her little* bare feet on the carpet.....*L*.....nooo fair!!!
§§§§_§§§ slips her entire wee* body into one of Gabes shoes..peeking out the top....*L*.please don't forgert I'm here and wake me when you are ready to leave..;)
§§§§_§§§ wiggles her little* toes and Looks at Gabe...*L*..will they fit.........
§§§§_§§§ remains childless in fear of altering her body shape....:(...and I guess having Mr. right would help.......:O
§§§§_§§§ nico.umm.5ft3.dark sparkly eyes and auburn hair well past my *assets*......115 lbs......*L*..short* n sweet....
§§§§_§§§: Evil..I cannot or refuse to wear a onepiece.....I start pulling at the belly section frantically....*L*..I need exposure!! .....I pray I never ever have to wear one..I have a thing about my belly being covered....I feel like I'm suffocating....:( ...
§§§§_§§§: Moose...*L*.I have quite the rack myself for such a small sprite*...*L*..don't mind them myself.........is that what you felt when I was leaning over you waxing yours...?
§§§§_§§§: ~sighs~..looking in her closet for an appropriate dress to wear on Dec.31st........only finds viccies secrets.....Looks at Morph with questioning eyes........
* Note the use of adjectives meaning small or wee implies that you are as scrawny as a weasel as opposed to fat as whale and are either a fairy or a pixie/sprite.
JOY TO THE WORLD
by Clive Beetlebox



(click on pic for larger view)


Ron is a happy, happy boy. Why? Because while he was working yesterday at his janitorial job in a park's mensroom
he spotted a familiar face. Could it be..? It is!!! Barf Bag Baby!!...oh JOY....his heart's desire returning to him!


Barf Bag told this reporter "I've been travelling extensively but I just couldn't stay away from Ron any longer - I guess we were made for each other. As for this hoax nonsense, I'm just as real as anyone else in Chatalyst and I wouldn't lie either!"


There you have it folks - the really real Barf Bag has returned to spread happiness wherever she goes.


BB wishes to "vent her spleen": "I just want to say..Whorephine, leave my man alone! Stop phoning him and talking to or about him and don't say your me anymore - I'm me and your a cum sucking, donkey fucking, shit sniffin, cum guzzling douche bag. Clive was right, your a nasty piece of baggage! Have a nice day :)"



(A Triumphant Barf Bag)
Barf Bag Baby's Page


To Submit your stories , gossip or comments click here

BABETTE'S BUZZLINE

Juicy Tidbits from JFF brought to you by
Babette Bouffount-Froux



Bonjour Chatters, how's tricks? Well, let's take a peek and see, shall we?


Our resident Therapist(?) Globual says she just comes here to relax but.....already she has snared herself a "baby boy" by the name of Gullible who calls her "mommy". Is this a Continental thing?? Well, girlfriend Alliesimple doesn't think so...there has been words... maybe Globual (being a professional?) can start a Menage-a-trois (Continental style of course) or a 3-ring circus.


Closer to home...Our own dear Bayliss (or 'dearie') is engaged to freaky Silver Tarnish. What CAN he be thinking!?!? Now he will have to sit in the fire with her all day, enduring nipping, biting, slapping and kicking (foreplay to Silver Tarnish) and don't forget her fireballs she hurls about. Battered and bruised Bayliss; you have picked another "lemon in the garden of love" I fear but the JFF orchard is full of lemon trees. Bayliss...it could be time to move on to the real world, for your love life at least.


Finally....Warpig is on the warpath against Placard of all people.. well maybe just a spat over an email. This will probably resolve itself quickly and quietly. Most likely a misunderstanding or a mistake. These little bursts of temper stem from the fact that there is no one in Placard's chat room to fight with, which results in boredom and pent-up hostilities. Answer?..Let Assassin in!!.. Problem solved.



Send your Gossip Tidbits to Babette here

CATCHY QUOTES

This spot is for JFFers to submit their favourite and funniest chatroom quotes or stories about anybody and everything


This first quote is attributed to Barf Bag Baby who posted it in JFF in defence of "her man":


ßaby laughs at Julie, Bitch I have no qualms cause unlike your loose ass, He has the motion of the ocean and the deed to succeed so just casue your ass has to whack off with a 2x4 don't mean he has any lack of DICK


The next quote was taken from a conversation between Lord of the Pit and Caelis


Caelis says: Oh.. the one, you posted about how ronnie didn't ruin chat.../ ·Lord of the Pit·‡ says: yeah, I mean come on it's ron, the only thing he can ruin is the back end of a donkey! and I doubt he can do that right!


And finally this excerpt from a Wailing Wall posting by Morph, waxing poetic about Ron's lack of sex appeal:


Sorry lamer you are not my type, I dont fall for fat fucking farm animals. Grow some balls Ron, then when you wake up with two little peanuts under your tiny noodle grow some fuzz on them, and then maybe just then people will speak to you like you are at least half a man. ( the fact remains that you will never be as much man as it takes to bag a chick) the only chick you bag is the KFC on your way to Burgerking.



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