Gryg

Why is it then?
5/19/00 01:26 PM

Why is it then?
When I say the right things
They are forced out like broken lies?

Why is it then?
When I say the right things
They all sound so empty... and dead?

Is it then?
When I say the right thing
It comes not from the heart... and thus quickly dies?

Why is it then?
That I feel all the wrong things
Trusted to none but Silence... their eternal deathbed?




Looking back
6/3/00 11:06 AM

As I’m forced to look back, running that last mile
As I am forced to watch my life flashing, before my mind’s eye
Will it be with a feeling of utter content, a gentle smile,
Or with the fear of an eagle that never learned to fly?

Every day brought its challenges, I know
But did I really accept every last one, them all
Did I simply let them pass by, and then go
Leaving me restless, feeling empty and small

Someday I will find out, running that last mile
Was I true to myself, did I ever listen to my heart
Or did I live an awful lie, hiding it behind a smile
Running a lost race, right from the very start?




Are you so blind?
6/3/00 11:47 AM

Friend, that's what I call you
While we hold hands and chat
Listening, not knowing what to do

Your voice, so full of pain
His tears, flowing from your eyes
My secret, slowly driving me insane

Friend, can you not see?
Are you so blind?
Will you never see the love in me?




Re: One person
6/5/00 01:42 PM

What sweet hell
I did not believe
I didn't wait
Now I know
She's the one
This I can tell
I just discovered it too late




Slave in Pain
6/5/00 03:55 PM

Tumultuous pain
Slowly wrecking her body
Wet tears
Flowing soundlessly from her eyes
Trembling anger
I am powerless, just watching

God, give me the power
To take her shivering hand
Give me the courage
To pull her from this Egypt land

Yet, I know even as I pray
She won’t listen to what I say
She has a mind of her own
Work she will until the end of day

Tomorrow, the doctor and help
She promised that we’d go
What then about tonight?
The pain demons their seed will sow

She might believe herself alone
Through this awful winter’s night
Unaware that I, an illegal spirit clone
Will be there all the time, by her side

[Dedicated to Cha, my friend, whom I love in a very special way]




Shattered Heart
6/7/00 01:59 PM

My heart, a shattered porcelain gnome
Shattered, white blood flowing into emptiness
Emptiness, pain at last finding it’s home
Pain, surging mania hammering in wilderness

Hammering, brain aching from the shock
Aching, muscles trembling under frozen skin
Trembling, hands clenched like ivory rock
Clenched, hurting fingers in-between

Fingers, but not touching mine
Touching, gentle on his face
Gentle sigh, now drawing the line
Line, bring an end to this hellish race

End, stop this eternal suffering
Stop, let these smitten feelings go
Go, start your emotional fleeing
Fleeing, staggering and slow




Fruit of Love
6/7/00 05:59 PM

Italian hair shining platinum bright
Highland chin held strong and proud
St Patrick’s voice ringing strong in the night

It feels like yesterday
That wondrous day I saw you first
Yet, reality, years have gone astray

Where is the little manikin
That flew down the stairs
Ripping a gash in his chin?

Where is that cute know-it-all
That took off like a winged squirrel
Pulling curtains from the wall?

There you are, my darling son
Approaching manhood, proud and strong
Receiving another prize fairly won

Oh, how it gladdens a father’s heart
To see a boy, fruit of gentle love
Fighting to the finish after every start




Paradise Found
6/8/00 12:13 PM

Gentle the trembling, a small electric shock
Deep down, within, the channel willingly did melt
A gentle river, silver and clear, gushing from the dock
Drops dripping slowly, glistening bright in the pelt

Gentle the resistance, intertwined fingers searching
Guiding, both, together, finding the slippery way
Sliding slowly, into the cave, lonely spirits merging
Suddenly one, unaware whether it’s night or day

Gentle the eyes, staring into each other
Reaching deep, finding comfort and peace
Each pair full of love, a thing not to smother
Shoulders hard, rubbing, rubbing against knees

Gentle the first tremor, river now splashing
Taking and giving, hips and tempo begin to rise
Swollen flesh engulfed, hot and thrashing
Two souls enter noisily, as one, into paradise




My Father's Name
6/9/00 09:45 AM

For thirty years, even more
I did not understand at all
They found you on that floor
Then made the wrong call

Door locked from the outside
Where passenger’s door stood open too
Somebody joined that final ride
And then turned evil hands upon you

The last thing you, my father, saw
Was not your own, bloody, hand
It was another’s, gnarly, claw
That used Death’s smoking brand

They found you on that floor
Your fingers bloody and broken
Long gashes by that locked door
Signs that you fought, your last token

How long did it take
Before your very last breath left
Blood flowing from the gunshot to your head
Then dead, finally, a wife and sons bereft

Kangaroo court then decided
Death was by your own hand
Lack of evidence was concluded
Truly, justice died in judge’s hand

For thirty years, even more
I did not understand at all
Just hated you more and more
Not knowing they made the wrong call

Now, after thirty years, even more
I know the truth, and the shame
Now, after thirty years, even more
I am proud to wear my father’s name




Death of a Dolphin
6/12/00 11:12 AM


White water breaking, splashing
Churning against dark rock
Massive waves continually caressing
Waving sea grass, each a dark dreadlock

On shore, bewildered and cold
One furry bunny, filled with fear
Shivering as it tries to be bold
Staring at the ocean, now so near

Blonde hair, dripping wet salt
A mermaid's smile, honey sweet
Beckoning fingers, no more halt
Bunny diving, into ocean indeed

Silver magic on the water, twinkling
Gone is the fur, bunny not to be found
Mermaid and new born dolphin, frolicking
Fearless, filling ocean with joyful sound

Instantly at home, the two did play
Swimming, diving, gossiping loudly
Then mermaid turned, swimming away
Fast and furious, she started to flee

Fearfully, dolphin tried to follow
Knowing it rubbed too close
Down, down into the darkest hollow
Up, up as mermaid again rose

Straight into the net of pain
Mermaid found herself enstrangled
Holding her tight, struggles in vain
Leaving her tired, feverish, mangled

Sharp snout, breaking the rope
Silver back, pushing up, lifting high
Lovingly to the surface and hope
Then releasing her with a gentle sigh

As mermaid again finds her smile
Dolphin sadly swims, a miracle martyr
Swiftly through salty wetness, mile by mile
Broken hearted, driven out of the water

One last look, silver body now dry
Peering over the churning blue
Dolphin saw them, under sunset sky
Merpeople, playing, laughing, two

With trashing tail, he flopped away
Into the cave, darkness, hell
Knowing he'll change again, before day
Into what, nobody can tell

Outside, the sea, sensuality, still waved
Upon his back, still, a few drops shimmered
But quickly disappearing, eternally caved
Darkness destroying all hope that glimmered

I know
6/13/00 10:42 AM

OK, so this does not even rhyme *grin* But it's how I feel...

---

Release came so gentle,
tears flowing softly
Salty and wet,
lying in my bed last night
Tears not of pain,
nor of any kind of sadness
But because I knew,
the end is in sight

The truth has set me free,
bringing with it hope
I am in love,
for the first time,
for the last time,
for the rest of my life

A love so bitter and sweet
That should never have been
Yet it came upon me, unwanted
Still, hungered for always

O, if but I could see tomorrow
Knowing what it will bring
There might be less of despair
More hope for love answered
Yet, I know
It may never be
Yet, I know
It’s here to stay
Strong
Beautiful
Clean
True love

Summer of '79
6/12/00 01:41 PM

So clear the start of a dream
Born underneath a white sheet
Teenage man, face like cream
Fever as boy and bilharzia meet
Pain, excruciating, a silent scream
Youngster trembling like a reed

In that haze of awful death and pain
Her gentle face brought sudden peace
Soft hands touching like gentle rain
Red lips whispering, on life another leash
Sweet music, Sailing, drowning death’s refrain
Conjuring images of water and greenest trees

Death departed at her gentle caress
Replaced by the strangest, weirdest, love
For as boy became man, it became no less
He searched, in all faces, for his little dove
Dreaming of her often, hungering, a mess
Until faith left, logic screaming, enough

O, how was he to know beforehand
He should have taken more heed
And should have taken a firmer stand
But how could he know they would meet
In the future he would touch her hand
It made no sense but was true indeed







All Copyrights Reserved, 2001. All text and poetry copyrighted by Gryg. All graphics copyrighted to Full Moon Graphics.