Giloopy

Welcome from Giloopy!

SO?
02/05/01

Daar woon 'n skelpienk ondier in my hart
en as hy stil sluimer kan ek breed glimlag
en as hy ontwaak trap hy my seer

Sy klein geprogrameerde brein herhaal net oor en oor
dieselfde skelpienk vrae : in hoofletters en neon

WAARNA SOEK JY? skree hy stil
WAT WIL JY Hê? trap hy aanhoudend
WIE IS JY?
WIE WIL JY WEES?
WAAR WIL JY GAAN?
HOEKOM VOEL JY SO VERWARD?

En die eggo's van sy krete
ontstel my logiese breingolwe
en hulle gooi verwaand die beproefde antwoonde voor hom neer
DAAR HET JY DIT
- ingenome glimlagte...

Hy tuur oor die antwoorde en glimlag grof
DIT is nie die waarheid nie
want jy ken nie die vrae se antwoorde nie
en jy weet nie hoe om dit op te los nie

My skelpienk ondier weier om te sluimer
Hy gesels in my drome
Hy hou nie van stilte nie
Hy hardloop hard deur my hart
Trap pienk kolle in die sagte spier

En ek begin wonder...
Hy begin wen.

Translation by Orion
02/06/01
Ok giloopy, here goes. Let my know if it is inaccurate in any way or needs an edit somewhere.

SO?

There lives shockpink deep in my heart
and if he slumbers I smile silently
and if he wakes he treads so sore

His little programmed mind repeats over and over
the same shockpink questions: in capitals and in neon

WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR? quietly, he screams
WHAT DO YOU WANT? continually stampedes
WHO ARE YOU?
WHO DO YOU WANT TO BE?
WHY DO YOU FEEL SO CONFUSED?

And the echoes of his screams
disturbs my logical brainwaves
daringly they throw their answers at his feet
THERE YOU HAVE IT
- self-assured, satisfied they smile…

He glares at the answers and smiles rough
THAT is not the truth
because you don’t know the answers to the questions
and you don’t know how to solve it

My shockpink deep down refuses to slumber
He talks in my dreams
He hates silence
He runs hard through the rooms of my heart
Treads dirty pink footprints into the soft muscle

And I begin to wonder…
He is starting to win.

For my Future Husband (whom I'm still to meet...)
02/06/01 11:27 AM

Sad crumpled A4-sheets
containing poems devoted only to you
hoping your eyes would touch them one day
that you would appreciate their meaning

seems so silly suddenly
pinning emotions on to paper
wishing you into existence
longing for the sound of your laugh

because i cannot help but question the use
of waiting for you at the airport
if i don't in fact know
if you have boarded the plane.

companion
02/07/01 02:33 PM

you are here again
your presence radiates through the room
even if seeing you is forbidden
your voice makes it all worthwhile

so who are you then...
the hero that chases loneliness away
the one who lays behind my back
and makes the hurting okay

when i cry i know you also do
when i laugh it echoes in you
but sometimes loneliness wins one round
and you seem so far away

are you then a inhabitant of my heart
or are you sent from heaven
are you my soul-mate
or are you a servant of my God

whichever one you are
you make me feel safe
you comfort me
and i will always love you for that

losing a best friend
02/07/01 02:34 PM

dearest friend
i never realized the darkness of night
until you left and took away your light
i never ever seemed to see
how empty your place in my heart would be

dearest friend
when i lie awake at night
your face sometimes just appear
and a silly tear runs down my cheek
‘cause i wish our hearts were near

dearest friend
things we did and words we said
are just beautiful memories in my mind
but are recollections all that is left
of love so cherished, friendship so kind?

dearest friend
when my heart cries out for someone
it is you i want to call
but i have to put down the phone
life seems to change us all

dearest friend
it feels as though i don’t know you anymore –
your feelings, your pain i don’t share
i can’t find the words to tell you
i miss you, and nothing seems fair

dearest friend
it feels as though i’ve lost you
and it’s a truly terrifying thought

please take care of yourself
i wish i could....
but life seems to have other plans

ongetiteld
02/17/01 04:58 PM

die hart is in opstand
maar die siel is geboei
'n tweeskeuring van soort
wat dreig om te verwoes

meegesleur in 'n emosie-see
met duisende onderstrominge
wat hier trek
- daar spoeg

moeg gespartel
gee maar net oor
laat die siel iewers anders gaan rus
terwyl die liggaam
maar hier staan
met 'n geforseerde glimlag

Eternal romantic

realization
02/27/01 07:01 PM

i was trapped
in a hopeless game
which i couldn’t win
naively i kept believing
- woke up with false hope
just to realize
those promises had a lifespan
of a solitary night

where was my mind?
things shouldn’t be so
complicated
my love wasn’t enough
i realized
and a stillness came to my heart

looking back...
i know i loved you
believed in you
thought i could fix every wrong

[my naivety scare me every so often]

i’m glad i let you go

just a thought
02/27/01 07:04 PM
why can’t one be enough?
we have only one life
but still find it ridiculous NOT to share it
where is the selfishness?
that would prevent us from being lonely!

my ONE life
and i am caught in a maddening search
for someone to SHARE it with!

i am not selfish enough

but then again –

who would be so vain as to want
themselves
all to
themselves?

just a thought...

Eternal romantic

mighty
02/28/01 07:19 PM

a word would never be enough
to erase a hurtful deed
be it as it may –
that the pen is mightier than the sword
believe me when i say
the deed is mightier than the word

the wave of the wing
02/28/01 07:21 PM

purpleblack periscope-necked
wuthering the waves
over the crests
down to the depths
on a saw-toothed sea

orange-beaked oystercatcher
observing an ocean
tactically calculating tides
feeding fragile offspring
struggling for survival

silverspotted seagull
swooping into sight
buries its beak in bait
takes off again
with a lingering laugh

waves wash ashore
then quite quiet suddenly
[enigma of evening]
and a generous greeting
with a wave of the wing

inside
02/28/01 07:20 PM

she put her rounded signature
at the foundation of a
multi-million dollar deal
smiled confidently...
and uncrossed her shapely legs
that stretched up high to her
mini
skirt

she stood up
and greeted with a firm handshake
light glimming through
her perfect hair
reflecting off
her textbook teeth
falling on
her flawless face

success!

when alone
she unclips her hair
takes off her glasses
and allow a single tear
to make a mascara-river
over her right cheek

never judge a book
by its cover

A Verdict
04/05/01

you made a blunder tonight
because i’ll stop loving
and never begin again
just don’t someday find yourself
here where i stand today
because it feels rotten
to love you
but only receive camaraderie in return
always was, always will be
an all-or-nothing kind of girl
bye

What Women Want
04/05/01

a mischievous twinkle in his eye
feather light touch of a finger on her cheek
a never-ending embrace when she’s gloomy
a hand holding hers proudly in public

simplicity

to wake up to an admiring gaze
amazement at the capacity of her thoughts
hearing how beautiful she is a thousand times
the ability to let a tear turn into a smile

appreciation

a soul mate
a friend to her friends
someone who her mother wants to pamper
her father’s approval

acceptance

to be wholly true to herself
to not need to settle for less
to meet the absolute man
to be the flawless wife
to the unspoiled children

adoration

you know who you are...
04/07/01

how could you just be so vain
as to decide about our fate?
thanks for the terribly kind deed
of withdrawing from my life

i pity your selfishness!!

kyk soms om
04/07/01

my lyf is hier
my hart is nie

hy’s seker deels by jou

loop agter jou aan
soos ‘n onlliefgehêde hondjie
aan ‘n leiband
sy oë op jou hakskene gerig

bang vir die volgende skop

Translation by Adele

my body is here
my heart is not

it's probably partially with you
walking after you
like an unloved puppy
on a leash
its eyes fixed on your ankles

afraid of the next kick

i killed it!!
04/07/01

ever increasingly i’m unmoved
by your childish behavior
your meandering mind games

maybe i assassinated our love
or abandoned it along the road

maybe i stuffed a rag
into its screaming mouth

you will not torture me anymore
i locked away your weapons

see if you can hurt me now!

daaroor is ek hartseer...
04/07/01

jy’t gevra waaroor ek hartseer is
ek dink dis oor ek besef het jy’s nie HY nie
en dit help nie
om jou daarin te forseer nie

ek het jou lief op ‘n ander manier
maar dit maak so seer
as jy spot met my emosies

jy verstaan my in soveel opsigte
- behalwe die belangrikstes
verstaan nie my hartseer, ongelukkigheid

bewonder my nie vir wat ek dink nie
sal nooit so onvoorwaardelik lief vir my kan wees

ek irriteer jou soms
en dis nie lekker om te weet nie

ek smag na aanvaarding
- iemand wat my liefhet vir NET wie ek is

wat lief is vir my lyf
- al is dit spierwit en my tone krom

wat lief is vir my hart
- al trek die ding in miljoene rigtings

en bowenal, lief is vir my siel en denke
- al maak ek nie altyd sin nie

en weet jy waaroor ek hartseer is?

oor ek dalk heimlik gewens het
dat jy my so kon liefhê

Translation by Adele

you asked why i am sad
i think it's because i realised that you are not HIM
and it doesn't help
to force you into it

i love you in a different way
but it hurts so much
when you play with my emotions

you understand me in so many ways
- except the most important ones
don't understand my heartache, unhappiness

you don't admire me for the things i think
and you'll never be able to love me unconditionally

i irritate you somethimes
and it's not fun knowing that

i yearn for acceptance
- for someone who loves me ONLY for who i am

someone who loves my body
- despite it's milk-whiteness, and crooked toes

someone who loves my heart
- even though it strains in millions of different directions

and most of all, someone who loves my soul and thoughts
- even though i don't always make sense

and do you know why i'm sad?

because perhaps i was hoping
that you could love me like this

heart over head!
04/17/01

i realized today
i did it again
fell in love with a man
who feels nothing for me
and again
i have to struggle
through months of agony
because i again wrongly chose
to listen to my silly heart
instead of
to my sensible head!

fine line between love and hate
04/17/01

thought it would be hard –
hating to love you
but suddenly it seems easy
and i can only sit and wonder
how
love and hate
could be so close apart

wish i could let you run...
04/17/01

to nkosi....

an ever-small voice in a thin body
had the overwhelming power
to open a million eyes
a powerful demonstration
of trying to accept
but merely staying human

a heart full of wishes
only God could fulfill
a young boy wanting to grow old
powerless in a bed
in a forced peaceful sleep
while he’d rather be running around

children shouldn’t get terminally ill

rugsteker
04/17/01
gun my net ‘n oomblik
om my rug
vanaf jou meslem te verwyder
sodat jy dit glimlaggend
weer aan jou sy kan dra
en trots kan vertel
waar die bloed daaraan
vandaan kom

Translation by Adele
backstabber

grant me just a moment
to remove my back
from your blade
so that you smilingly
carry it by your side again
and proudly tell
where the blood on it
came from

likwidasie
04/17/01
my konflikterende gedagtes
word uitgeforseer
deur die balpunt van ‘n pen
en word gelikwideer
en vasgepen
in klam ink

Translation by Adele
liquidation

my conflicting thoughts
are forced out
by the ballpoint of a pen
and are liquidated
and pinned down
in damp ink

Nocturnal Nuances
05/15/01
Radiating in dark-defying presence
- the Nymph of the Night –

caressingly closes the cloud-curtain
gleefully glancing down to
her comatose company
advocating an adverse attraction

a study in suppressed silence
virtually virtuous
claiming cleptomatic kisses
whispering wanton words
tantalizingly teazing...

his locked eyes fly open
ransack the room...
she simply surpass his senses
and deceitfully
disappear...

Proud
06/15/01

you accused me of having no pride
- of being pathetic -
and not getting the message
you suddenly hated me
(but haven't you always?)
you told me to my face
about the woman you loved
most in the world
and it wasn't me
i hated you so much right then

i said the ultimate goodbye :
held you close
- for the part of you i loved
and slapped you through your face
- for the part of me with pride.

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