chapter eight: What's a Guy to Do? "... And I pulled a Carlson," said Ryan gloomily, plopping down on the steps beside Brendan and Sheehan. "How the heck--is that even possible?" Brendan asked, his brows furrowed at the foreign thought of a nervous, bumbling, and downright awkward Delicious. "I never thought it was," Ry admitted, running a hand over his face. "Look, Ryan," Sheehan began, shutting off the TV, "you pulled a Carlson. M'kay? Now all's you gotta do is pull a Brendan." "A WHAT?!" Brendan said loudly out of surprise. Hearing his name was the last thing he had expected. Sheehan was off the rocker, and Ryan was sure to be a dead man walking if he did attempt to pull a Leonard. "A Brendan," Sheehan repeated slowly, loudly, and ever so clearly. "But I know nothing about girls!" "That may be, but somehow you got Tate, didn't you?" Kevin reasoned. "That was a fluke!... Wasn't it?" "No..." Ryan piped in thoughtfully. "Shee's on to something, I think. I must NOT screw up on this. I've got to pull a Brendan!" "Well, where are the two girls anyway?" Sheehan inquired, looking around. "Shopping. They should be back in time for us to leave for DePaul again." "You say that like it's a good thing," Ryan said, frowning. "Hey, hey!" Sheehan said suddenly. "We've got to pick up Carlson if we're going to leave for DePaul once the girls get here." Ryan groaned. "Can't we just leave him at his house? He can take his OWN car and save us some gas..." Brendan grinned and said to Sheehan, "Thanks for reminding me. I'd better go get him now--you two stay here and wait for Tate and Joey to get back. If they get here before me and Kevvy do, just pack all the things up so we can... yeah..." Brendan trailed off, realizing that Ryan and Sheehan weren't full on attention-wise, and that even if they somehow were, there was no way they would be able to recall all the directions he had just thrown at them. "Oh, sure!" Ryan called after Brendan's retreating back as he started down the driveway over to his car. "Leave us here so that you can dilly dawdle and WE will have the tasks of heaving things into the trunk." "Good plan, huh," Brendan smirked, now closing the door on the driver's side and starting up the engine. "Ooo, that little, good for nothing, bossy, slacker of a..." Ryan mumbled, brandishing a fist at the back of B's car. Sheehan patted Ryan comfortingly on the shoulder. "It's okay... We'll get him back later." "You're not suggesting..." "Oh yeah," Kevin nodded with a mischeivous grin to rival the one currently upon Ryan's face. "TO THE GARAAAAAGE!!" Ryan shouted, sprinting off, Kevin at his heels. "Guys?" Joey called from outside the Leonard's house. "Guys?" "Where is everybody?" Tate wondered allowed, setting a single plastic bag on the lawn and peering around the premises. Suddenly, maniacal laughter rang through the air. Tate and Joey looked at each other and giggled. They nodded and crept off around to the left of the house, and as they neared, Ryan's whooping laughter became even louder in decibels. "Is that... Ryan?" Joey whispered, peeking through the bushes. "None other than, I'm afraid," Tate replied, biting her lip. "What's that they've got over there? Do you see it? Sheehan's hold--" Tate stopped abruptly as Ryan looked up suddenly, sniffing the air. "I smell perfume," he whispered into Sheehan's ear. "Curses!" Joey hissed, which caused Tate to force back another laugh. Simultaneously, the two stood up slowly, still staring around the backyard. "Bushes." Sheehan lifted his arm, his index finger pointing at the shrubbery and brush along the house and fence. "But which ones?" "We'll see," Ryan replied in a low whisper, creeping towards one of them. Tate and Joey couldn't bare to look through the foliage anymore--any movement, and they were bound to be caught. So, they sat there, hugging their knees and eyes tightly shut, and yet shaking with suppressed giggles all the while. "AHA!!" Ryan exclaimed, parting through one of the bushes without warning. But, no one was there. Undaunted, but more curious than anything, Ryan backed away a few paces and darted for another piece of brush. "GOTCHA!!" he yelled triumphantly. He blinked--still nothing. However... about five feet to his right, he spotted two squatting figures. "GET THE BALLOOOOONS!" he commanded to Sheehan. Instantaneously, Joey and Tate burst out of the leaves, branches catching on their clothes, but they kept on anyway. Running blindly and screaming, the two girls ran as fast as they could, zig-zagging now and then so as to make them harder targets to hit. With all of the chaos and havoc being wreaked, no one heard the sounds of car doors slamming shut. And, just as luck would have it, as soon as Brendan had tucked away his keys into the pocket of his jeans, he was thrown off his feet and onto the lawn, landing with a thud on his back. Poor Kevin was pelted in the head with a balloon, and scrambled back inside the car, pulling the door shut and immediately locking himself in. "Owwwwwwwww...." Brendan groaned, wincing against the deadweight crushing his ribs. "Gerroff," he mumbled, shoving the person off him and deciding to just lie there until the world stopped spinning. "Brendan?" a distant voice echoed in his head. "Brendan!" "Mmmwhat?" he said, rubbing his forehead. "Oh my gosh, I am sooo sorry! Are you okay?" "A-okay." "Wow... Brendan, I really am sorry--I didn't see you--" But her words and Joey's screams were shut out as he covered his own ears. "Can you sit up at least?" Tate asked, wrenching one of his hands away. "Sure," he said vaguely, sitting up slowly. "... Ow..." "C'mon... let's get you inside the house. Kevin!" she said, pounding on the window. He jumped, then looked at her, startled. "What?" he mouthed. "Help me out here!" she pleaded, trying to pull the stunned Brendan off of his feet. He opened the door and crawled out. "It's a battlefield out there!" "Well, the faster you help, the faster we'll be able to get inside, safe and sound," she snapped back. With a shrug, Carlson pulled Brendan up with a little assistance from Tate, and began to slowly walk him up to the house. "Right... we'll just let him rest, I suppose," Tate said pulling the door open. And, as all three of them tried to fit through the doorway, a wave of ice-cold water rushed down upon them. Sputtering, Kevin looked up. "It was rigged." He nodded up at the top of the door, and sure enough, a blue bucket was upended, hanging on a thin cord. "Ooooh, Ryan and Shee are SO dead." "Literally... Mrs. Leonard's going to butcher them. She just got the floors done, too." He wiggled his feet slightly, his sandals soaked and soggy from all the water. "Well, good thing they made plans to leave before she gets home... Although, I think you'll have to drive us... Brendan doesn't seem fit to be at the wheel just yet." She glanced sideways at Brendan, who was looking blearily back at her with big brown eyes. "I'm riding backseat," he mumbled. "But I wanted to--" "SHOTGUN!" he managed to get out loudly. Tate didn't dare argue with him. Setting him down on an armchair, Tate and Kevin left for the kitchen. "It's quiet out. They must be done now." And, sure enough, as they pushed open the back door, Ryan, Sheehan, and Joey were sprawled all over the asphalt, looking as if they had just been washed up from the beach. "Let's... go... home," Sheehan panted, rolling over onto his back. "Good i..dea," Ryan said with a nod. "That setlles it, then," Tate said. "Everybody, pack your bags! We're going back to DePaul!" "Yaaay," they all said dully. "Well," Ryan said to her as he passed, "when you say it like that, it makes me not want to go back to school." "How do you mean?" "You make DePaul sound like one big fun park, then, I remember that it's quite the opposite. Poo." And he lumbered back in the house. Kevin and Tate looked at each other and shrugged, following after him. "I see you've found our little surprise, too!" Ryan said, turning around and walking backwards to look at them. "OUCHIES!" he yelped, as his head banged against the top of the kitchen entrance. "No duck!" "No brains," Kevin sang under his breath. "I HEARD THAT!"